Friday, January 12, 2018

Shit MFD Said: Vol 45

Commenting on the Khaleesi in Game of Thrones
Me: Wow, she’s got a lot of bronzer on
MFD: Did you ever stand in the heat of a dragon? It’ll bronze you real quick.
Me: It’s tv makeup. You know that right? She didn't actually stand in the heat of a dragon.
MFD: You don't know that. 

Watching Hoarders
MFD: Steph, I think I’m going to start collecting dolls.
Me: I hate dolls.
MFD: What kind of dolls would you like me to start collecting first? American dolls?
Me: They’re called American GIRL dolls, and no to ALL dolls.
MFD: Dolls are coming.

Me: I can’t believe you didn’t get any frozen appetizers.
MFD: I had no room. I was holding everything.
Me: Rookie mistake to go into Target without a basket.
MFD: An intentional mistake. An intentional maneuver, actually. Money saving maneuver.

Puts on Benjamin Button
Me: No.
MFD: Steph, you’re reading and I've been wanting to watch this movie since it came out.
Me: No.
MFD: I’ll Be 90 and Benjamin Button myself before I see it if I don’t watch it now.
Me: That’s fine, I’ll be dead then and won’t care.

We are out of hot coffee so MFD is drinking my batch of iced coffee
Me: Mae needs to go out.
MFD: Now I have to go outside in the snow with this ice cold coffee
Me: I do it all the time.
MFD: It’s probably warm for you with your ice cold heart.
Me: Yes it is! That's right.

Eating burnt microwave popcorn
MFD: I might have to make another one.
Me: Yeah, it’s burnt.
MFD: It tastes like college.

Me: Are you going to make grilled cheese too?
MFD: Grilled cheese does not go with split pea soup.
Me: It's cheese and bread...melted and toasted. It goes with everything.
MFD: No.

Me: We need to get Gus a wheelchair
MFD: You know he has you so wrapped around his little finger that for the rest of his life you are going to be carrying him all over the house and the neighborhood and the shore in this little chair and people are going to be feeding him grapes and he’s going to say my mom does my bidding
Me: That's not true. Grapes are poisonous to dogs I would never let people feed him grapes.
MFD: That's all you can dispute. 

During an ice event
MFD: I don’t know what people are bitching about, I didn’t fall once
Me: I fell! It’s slippery!
MFD: Nope! Not with Yaktrax on.

Me: Mike. When you put the toilet paper on
MFD: I know, put it on the right way.
Me: Yes, so it pulls over from the top.
MFD: That’s the wrong way. It’s easier to tear off from the bottom

Me: After 14 years of living together...this is madness.

All read and approved by MFD before they go live...
Shit MFD Said Vol 1Shit MFD Said Vol 2Shit MFD Said Vol 3Shit MFD Said Vol 4
Shit MFD Said Vol 5Shit MFD Said Vol 6Shit MFD Said Vol 7Shit MFD Said Vol 8
Shit MFD Said Vol 9Shit MFD Said Vol 10Shit MFD Said Vol 11, Shit MFD Said Vol 12, Shit MFD Said Vol 13, Shit MFD Said Vol 14, Shit MFD Said Vol 15, Shit MFD Said Vol 16, Shit MFD Said Vol 17, Shit MFD Said Vol 18, Shit MFD Said Vol 19, Shit MFD Said Vol 20, Shit MFD Said Vol 21, Vol 22, Vol 23, Vol 24, Vol 25, Vol 26, Vol 27, Vol 28, Vol 29, Vol 30, Vol 31, Vol 32, Vol 33, Vol 34, Vol 35, Vol 36, Vol 37, Vol 38, Vol 39, Vol 40, Vol 41, Vol 42, Vol 43, Vol 44


  1. Well he's not wrong about Target!
    omg I hope he doesn't get any dolls, they're terrifying.
    I laughed at the iced coffee one, John says the same about me :)

  2. LOL I do the same thing sometimes when I go into Target so I don't accidentally spend all of my money.

  3. You guys are the best! How about a reality tv show for you guys?

  4. Lol lol. I’m the Mike Doyle in this house. Lol on all❣️ Happiest Friday and weekend to all ❣️
    Love. Your. Momma.

  5. I do the same thing at target but then I just manage to carry a boat load of shit anyway. Whats actually more helpful is to have two kids and a shopping cart - there's no room, time or sanity to overspend. And yaktrax is what us runners use so we don't eat it in the winter. They are about double the price right now compared to what they usually are. Happy f'in Friday. I should have known this week was going to be some Bullshit - haha!

  6. I have so many American Girl Dolls but, like you, my husband would lose his shit if I put them around our house. Hahaha.
    I do the no cart restriction at Marshalls/HomeGoods and ALWAYS regret it.
    K's response would've been the exact same to the dog worshiping remark. Hahaha. It's why we love them ;)
    I wish mine would just put the damn toilet paper on the roll. UGH.

  7. Not the toilet paper debate. Relationships have ended on such things.
    Dolls are coming totally cracked me up.,& terrified me

  8. I pulled the no basket thing the other day at Marshalls, worked like a charm! Ugh the toilet paper is the worst, men don't use it as much as us and they just don't understand! Oh my god the thought of the dolls has me itching. Have a nice weekend!

  9. I so needed the laugh so thank you to MFD for providing them. And in his defense, you don't know FOR SURE that she didn't stand in front of a dragon. LOL! Have a great weekend!

  10. I love the Benjamin Button one hahaha, but all are priceless!

  11. I LOLed at "MFD: It’s probably warm for you with your ice cold heart."

  12. Ahhh the great toilet paper debate! I always always always switch it when at someone's house and see it coming out from underneath instead of on top. Always :-P

  13. LOL @ Benjamin Button! I agree with MFD on the soup one, and I may actually have to try that trick next time I'm in Target. Oh man, the toilet paper. Like Kate, I always switch it too! At least it's not nail clippers or thermostat wars this round?!

  14. It tastes like college. LOLOLOL!

  15. How do you know that the dragon wouldn't bronze your face?? hahahaha And omg nothing is more ridiculous than toilet paper from the bottom. That is not how it goes!!!! No no no no no.

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  17. Sweet jesus I died at, "That's all you can dispute."

  18. My mother in law has a creeoy doll in the basement. It sits on the bench and you see it right when you walk down. I hate it! Also you haven't seen creepy until you work in a museum with vent dolls. I tried not to make eye contact. terrifying.

  19. The best "dolls are coming." He is right about Target. "Warm from your ice cold heart" & "this taste like college" hilarious.

  20. LOL ice cold heart warmth is the best kind of warmth. He sounds exactly like my husband on that nonsense about Benjamin Button. The head of my department in college built a contraption with wheels so his dog could sit on it and he could pull her around when her back legs are started giving out. I foresee this for Gus. Minus the grapes.

  21. haha we used to wear Yaktrax in doesn't matter what I'm doing, if there's a movie or show on that I don't like as background noise. Benjamin Button wasn't impressive, anyway.

  22. Haha such clever comments! The dolls are coming remark is scary! lol Emily @ Martinis & Bikinis

  23. oh dear god, the toilet paper. also "It tastes like college." -- YES. weirdly accurate.

  24. Word on the street is that my cold heart can chill wine. I'm proud of it.
    The grapes though! That was awesome.

  25. This is surely one of the very best 'Shit MFD said' posts ever. With your ice cold heart, you may not realize it.


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