Friday, October 18, 2019

Take the stress one day at a time



Alternate title: let's talk about stress, baby sung to the tune of Salt-N-Pepa's classic released in 1990. Everything's coming up 90s these days.

Anyway.

Despite our best efforts, stress is always bubbling under the surface, threatening to pop off and take you down like that invisible sidewalk curl we all trip over at some point. We've all seen some variation of the meme me trying to excel in my career, drink enough water, exercise, stay sane, text everyone back, survive, and be happy and at some point in most weeks we relate.

The problem with stress is that it very easily compounds, and if you’re stressed about one thing and you're not careful to contain that, it does a reach around and latches onto other aspects of your life. Even small things can feel stressful and compared with the bigger stressors, that's too much.

Sleepless Newborn Stress
Nobody ever said having a newborn wouldn’t be stressful, but no one realizes how much stress you’ll be under until it happens. There are so many things to think about after having a kid, including keeping them healthy and happy while still maintaining your sanity. 

Sleepless nights are one of the most significant contributors to stress, and if your baby struggles to settle down during the night, it can wreak havoc on the rest of your day. My mamas out there with poorly sleeping kids have all my sympathy. I know a few have looked into a baby sleep schedule to figure out the best way to deal with it and it's been helpful. Others...nothing helped. You know who you are. I see you and am sending you coffee and water. 

Financial Stress
Bills are an inescapable part of life, which sucks, let's be clear.  Getting the bill for your rent, mortgage, gas, phone, cable, electric, credit card is something you dread on those unexpected expenses months. Absolutely everything is more expensive than it used to be, including/especially food. 

Addressing areas of financial stress usually involve stopping something, or truly examining want vs. need, or changing how you do something.  Making changes to your lifestyle can give you a buffer and help you live a little more comfortably. You can buy discounted food, stop eating out, and be more cautious with the heating. The change will be gradual, but soon you’ll notice you have more money to spare to squirrel away or put toward bills. Pro tip: none of the cutbacks matter if you treat yourself to things you don't need. Discipline is key. 

Work Stress
The idea that some jobs are more stressful than others is a load of bull. Each role brings different challenges that demand your full attention. Every person's life is different. No, you are not better than the cashier because you have a lofty title. When you feel wrung out from work, it's good to take a step back and consider how your job helps you and what is rewarding about it. Like, it enables you to live and pay your bills are huge ones, but what else? Do you have flexibility, awesome coworkers, a beautiful route to work, kind superiors who understand the stresses of work/life balance attempt (I say attempt because there is no true balance). 

Focusing on the positives over the negatives make it easier to deal with the fact that yes, we all must work because we are not millionaires. Examining your position might even make you appreciate it more. Most of us work to live instead of live to work, and in a capitalist society that can feel really draining because we are part of a machine. We are not alone.


No Time For You Stress
We need downtime to relax ourselves so we can deal with the stresses of everyday life. Most people need alone time to do this. Most people also have a lot going on and give other people time before themselves, leaving them feeling like they don't have a minute to spare. 

With work, collecting the kids from school, making dinner, and ensuring the house is in order, it’s a struggle to find the time. While you can’t magically summon more hours in a day, you can work out a routine that gives you time to dedicate solely to you. When I say can I mean you really must. Especially you moms out there trying to do it all and be it all. 

Just giving yourself an hour a day either by taking a soak in the tub, reading, painting your nails, or watching mindless TV helps you unwind feel better prepared for anything coming your way in any area of life. 

The Stress of the Future
The uncertainty of the future is basically the only thing that is 100% certain, but we worry about it like there's no tomorrow. Which, of course, wastes today. You can’t do anything to change the unforeseen events of the future. No matter how much you worry, that time and energy you expend has ZERO impact on what is or isn't coming down the pike. You can prepare yourself but you never truly know what will happen. It makes more sense to what you can in the present to make each day a good one. 

Worrying too much about the future means you miss out on what’s in front of you, and without going crazy with spending sprees or living an extravagant lifestyle, you can still experience what’s right in front of you. 

Take a walk. Sit outside. Breathe deeply. Recognize beauty around you even in ugly spaces. Make connections with people. Give your animals a lot of pets. Drink enough water. Be sensible with your money and your time. Be comfortable alone. Recognize that rest is necessary. Put down what you're carrying. Distance yourself from potentially harmful influences and energies - in person and on social media. Give yourself permission to not worry or stress. And don't be so freaking hard on yourself or hold yourself to an impossible standard. 

Please take a few hours for yourself this weekend, regardless of what other people need from you. Ladies, I'm looking at you in particular.


Thursday, October 17, 2019

Thursday Thoughts - Excuse me, but can I be you for a while my dog won't bite if you sit real still

1. My main plans for this weekend are to peace the fuck out and spend the entire thing alone with no schedule or must dos/must be at/must attend/must get done. The last few weekends have been peopley and schedule/event oriented and while I love my people and have enjoyed my events, I am so looking forward to doing absolutely nothing that's been planned in advance.
via

2. I would like to end the year less frazzled feeling so I think I'll likely dedicate some weekend time brainstorming and making lists. These are a few of my favorite things.

3. Tuesday was National Pug Day, which Bruce Springsteen would have you know is every day, okay. Every.day.

4. Yesterday we pulled the winners of the Show Us Your Books 5th Anniversary giveaway. Three Megans (well two Megans and one Meghan to be concise) were winners plus a Shawn and an Audrey. As Jana said, it was a good day to be a Megan.

5. I finished The Testaments by Margaret Atwood this week and started this book right after. From what I gather, at least the backdrop of the story will be the book women of KY, which I haven't heard more than a shout about in my life then I read The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek by Kim Michele Richardson in May and now this book. I liked Book Woman and I feel bad that it will be overshadowed by Stars given the larger name recognition of Jojo Moyes. There's apparently a buzz about these two books and I'm sort of shocked by the pull comparisons in this article someone shared on The Tumbling Nomads IG yesterday! The Moyes is dragging for me and I’m not sure if it’s because I’m anticipating a book similar to one I’ve already read, because I don’t like one of the main characters, or because I’ve been put off by the similarities pointed out in the article or what.

6. My nail polish did not hold up well this week. I look to get a solid six days out of it and that was absolutely not the case given that I painted them on Friday morning and they were chipped beyond repair by Wednesday night. I'm hoping for some more staying power this week. Pacifica Luxe Interior.


7. I put the moon pendant Lori got me last weekend on my Grandmom's long necklace and I'm quite pleased with it.

8. Last night’s weather was hell. There were no shuttles at the train station so I walked 3/4 of a mile in the pouring rain and took a direct wall of water hit from a passing car to the pants. I decided it was a good night for monkey bread, which never fails to bring my Home Ec teacher, Ms. Paxson, to mind.


9. Reminder: It's the little things that build the life.

10. Ecards. 

I couldn't even get into your president's nonsensical idiot letter to Turkey today because I just fucking can't. His irresponsible actions put American soldiers and allies in danger and they're releasing fucking ISIS prisoners which seems weird for the Muslim Ban supporters to be okay with. So foreign policy, much presidential. One hundred million eyerolls he is unfit for office fight me on this. 

Rest in peace, Elijah Cummings. A true patriot and public servant. 

What appears after the hyphen in Thursday Thoughts is a song lyric to whatever I'm listening to when I start to write the post. This week is Silent All These Years by Tori Amos

Wednesday, October 16, 2019

Consider participation in local elections mandatory



If you live in America, you have an election coming up. When they're not presidential or senatorial elections (every 4 and 2 years, respectively), they're often called "off-year" elections which infers that they don't matter as much and is straight up bullshit.

It came as a shock to me, post-2016 presidential election, that people legitimately did not know there were elections every single year, not just for presidents and senators. Yes, yes....there are primary elections and local elections that take place outside of the "bigger" elections of president/congress.

Listen. In order for the system to work as intended, you have to vote in every election. You have to know what positions are up for election, what the people in those offices actually DO, and how that connects to you and your quality of life.

Most elections are on November 5, 2019. You've got your governor elections in Kentucky, Louisiana, and Mississippi and your legislative elections for both houses of the LA and MS legislatures and the VA general assembly as well as the lower house of the NJ legislatures, but otherwise it's very local.

Ballot measures, mayoral elections, city and town council, school boards, county commissioners and executives, district attorneys, etc.

The people that control the things that happen in your backyard. I'd say that's fucking important.

THERE IS NO LEVEL OF GOVERNMENT THAT IS MORE DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR SERVING YOU AND YOUR COMMUNITY THAN YOUR LOCAL ELECTED OFFICIALS. NO LEVEL.

Yet so many people treat local elections as optional. People, that's fucking crazy. What you are saying when you don't vote in local elections is that the quality of your schools, public transit, what public services are available, the safety of drivers/cyclists/pedestrians on roads, the price of rent, marijuana and alcohol ordinances, community health and wellness, access to treatment for addiction and mental health, treatment of animals in shelters, local taxes, neighborhood cleanliness and viability, crime, environmental conditions around your home, potholes on your roads, minimum wage, on and on and on etc etc etc  DO NOT MATTER TO YOU.

Is that true? I mean, according to neighborhood facebook pages wild animals can't fart in the street without people having something to say about it so lower than 90% turnout on every election day makes absolutely no sense to me. It's like people want to complain but also sit inside on their couches behind their screens and not do a fucking thing about it. That's not how life works.

Local elections are often decided by a handful of votes. If the community you live in matters enough to you to complain about anywhere, it matters enough for you to vote. When candidates knock on your door, open it and talk to them. Throw out the mailers you get from the candidate's opposition because no one sends mailers about their opposition that are not meant to skew information. If the mailer is about the candidate’s stances alone, read it. But also go directly to the website of candidates and see what they're about. If you can attend an event they'll be at, do so. Meet them face to face. Find out who lines up with you. If you have questions, contact them and ask. If one is an already in office and running as an incumbent, pay less attention to what they say in campaign materials and more attention to how they have voted on those issues, all of which is public record. If you need help navigating that, let me know.

If you are unsure of how local elections connect to congressional and presidential elections and who does what, let me know. I will help you see the connections and who is responsible for what.

Don't just sit in your house with your teeth in your mouth reading and writing complaints on your neighborhood's facebook page. You are responsible for what happens in your community, including the people who are in charge of running it. So hire them as employees and hold their feet to the fire to work for you. That is what politicians do - they work for constituents. In some cases they have forgotten that and need a reminder. You are the one to remind them.

There are no off-year elections. Up next in this vein: what to do if you want to be involved but hate the political machine and know corporate/dark/big money doesn't belong in politics.

Tuesday, October 15, 2019

How do parents make a better world for their kids?


Tuesday and my brain is a-scramble this week. My friend Sarah who wrote about never being too busy to spend time with your aging parents and not falling into the pushy parent trap is back. If you are polishing your writing chops or have something to say or are trying to get into freelance writing and want some exposure and want to submit a post, email me! If you want to reach Sarah directly, email her. Note: you do not have to provide your email address for people to contact you if you want to submit a post!

*************
For the majority of good human beings with kids, one of the best side effects of having children is becoming a better person as an adult. There is no denying that having children is likely to encourage most people to become more mindful about what they say or do. Parents are responsible for the well being of their children. Psychologists have long demonstrated the devastating effects that poor parenting choices can have on young and vulnerable minds. As a result, the desire to become a better person is influenced by the need to protect children and give them a wonderful, nurturing place to grow into themselves.
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Even if you don't have kids, we are hopefully all on a continual path to self-improvement. While parents are motivated by their responsibilities toward their children to make better decisions, non-parents can also find some inspiration in the process.

They invest in their education
Parents spend a lot of time examining and comparing schools before deciding where their children should be educated, whether they need to go to preschool or high school. The reason for it is that a good education gives children a better chance of success in life. As adults, we can apply the same principle to ourselves. It's never too late to learn something new, be it a personal hobby or skill set; or  professionally to boost your profile with a certification or course. Finding the best evening school or online college to brush up your skills is not a decision to take lightly. It can have a massive impact on your career and your income. By approaching your decision with the same level of care as parents demonstrate in the choice of their children’s education, you can avoid costly mistakes.

They know how to motivate and guide 
Motivation is an eternal obstacle in our everyday life. Even adults struggle to maintain their motivation. Unfortunately, most of us continue to look for a reward, aka extrinsic motivation. For instance, many new gym-goers who are trying to boost their fitness levels are likely to use caloric rewards, allowing themselves a yummy snack for each drop of sweat. The problem is that extrinsic motivation can be counterproductive for yourself, and when exercised on someone else, it’s basically bribery. As a result, more and more parents are developing intrinsic motivation approaches, like helping children to build higher self-esteem by encouraging them to want to be the best they can be. Using the same thought process, you can also create new motivation to achieve your goals.
via

They say sorry for their mistakes

Everybody gets things wrong, parents and adults included. Nobody expects parents to get things right all the time except possibly parents themselves (mom guilt is real). But being willing to apologize for mistakes remains an issue for many. Taking ownership of your error as a parent teaches children the importance of saying I’m sorry when appropriate and meaning it and establishes a healthy relationship. Learning to admit your mistakes is a vital lesson, not only for children but for everyone. Don't fall into the over-apologizing trap - women especially say sorry for too many things - but when it's appropriate, do it and do it sincerely.

Parents and other adults that play roles in the lives of children exemplify better lives by creating healthy and positive habits for themselves. Whether you are a primary, secondary, or periphery role model for a child, try applying some of the things we learned in kindergarten to yourself as an adult. It can't hurt.

                                                              *************

Thanks Sarah! See you back here tomorrow with a (hopefully) coherent post.


Monday, October 14, 2019

TWTW - the one with the fall festival

Friday Out of office. After coffee & porch time, Lori, Mom, Helen, and Mo and I took Bruce and Bender for a beach walk and collected a lot of trash on the way back. The seas were rough and the tide had come way up so a lot of stuff washed in. They went to breakfast and I painted my nails (Pacifica Mermaid and Treasured). Lori and I walked to the library which was like Choose Your Own Adventure since all the streets to get there were flooded. We hit Asbury Ave to do some browsing and Debbie arrived and met us there.
After some porch time (Ben in his new sweatshirt from Treat Lady), we had dinner at Angelo's on the boardwalk and did a nighttime stroll.
Saturday Block Party day was a beauty! Melissa arrived around 11 and we hit the street. I got another pair of tie dye pants so I'm set to be tie dyed out for the winter. Lori found me my moon pendant (switching necklace), I got crystals from my crystal lady, and admired but did not buy this Cousin Eddie pillow cover. I took the business card in case I get the urge to order because it was seriously fucking good.
It was hot AF so we made quick work of the way back. Debbie, Melissa, and I got a hotdog and Melissa and I hit the pickle man on the way back. Mom and I took Bruce and Ben to the beach. It was a stellar day, just gorgeous weather. After that I had to lie down for a bit and nearly fell asleep but my uncle Billy and aunt Sue stopped by so I rallied a little to visit with them. Mom got Ike's chips and Debbie and Lori got fried chicken from Boyar's and we went to town. Then we took a stroll on the boardwalk and saw an awesome moon. Everyone was dead tired by the end of the night.
Sunday Lori, Debbie, Helen, Mo, and I went to Bob's for breakfast, then they cleaned up and scattered along with Melissa leaving me and Mom. We took a walk on the beach, Mom got fried chicken to send home with me and filled up my gas tank, and we were on the way. I am physically ill leaving the shore at this time of year. I just don't want to, ever. I got home and sulked for a while then MFD and I picked up a few groceries, I put this together, cooked, did three loads of laundry, and read.
Weekly food prep: Breakfasts are greek yogurt and granola, snacks are bananas and cucumbers, lunches are spaghetti squash with cannellini beans/pinto beans/diced tomatoes topped with goat cheese. Dinners are mashed sweet potatoes and kale salad and something else spaghetti squash. Buffalo chicken spaghetti squash? I'm not sure yet. 



I love spending time with these ladies - lots of laughs and just a nice time. 

I'm not off today, no bank holidays here. Happy Indigenous Peoples day!

Friday, October 11, 2019

Booking your Canadian vacation

For some, booking a trip to Canada is a dream destination. Whether they’ve been dreaming of going for years or they love to return every year, Canada is an incredible vacation spot. From the stunning landscapes of the Rockies to the fascinating life in Canada’s most popular cities, there is something for absolutely everyone. Canada has a lot to offer, and for many of us here in the U.S., it's the easiest way to visit a foreign country which always adds a little extra flair to a trip.
If you're looking to book a trip to Canada and you don’t know where to start, I've got top tips for planning a Canadian adventure because of course I have tips: 

- Do Your Research
I mean, of course. If you know me you know my main trip planning method is research research research, narrow down options using research, then more and more research. However this looks in your life - visiting the library, buying guidebooks, or looking online, I am a staunch proponent of the more research you’re doing the better. For tips and tricks when it comes to researching a new travel location, you can visit this site here. 

- Use Instagram And Pinterest For Inspiration
Two of the best ways to research a new destination are Instagram and Pinterest. Using common search terms and hashtags, you can find as much as you need to know about a destination from the touch of button. If you see something you like, you can save it to a collection or board and come back to it later. For guidance when it comes to using Instagram to research a new destination, you can visit this site here. I love seeing what other travelers are doing in my destination using hashtags on IG.

- Book Things In Advance
If you know what you’re going to be doing when you’re visiting Canada, you need to ensure you’re booking things well enough in advance. Although most things are unlikely to sell out, it’s great to be prepared when it comes to both activities and food and drink. If it's booked, you can meander more leisurely along on your vacation without trying to get into places. Whether you’re booking a ticket to the CN Tower or a table at Chuck’s Roadhouse, I am a huge proponent of booking in advance. 
For more information about Chuck’s Roadhouse, you can visit this website

- Consider Day Trips
Depending on how long you have in Canada, you might want to consider booking some day trips and excursions. Particularly great if you’re going to be staying in one place, day trips are the perfect opportunity to see another part of Canada. I think people often overlook the ability to jet out from one location for a day. Don't be that person.

- Have A Contingency Plan
Always. It's important to have a contingency plan when you travel. From having a back-up plan for missing your flight to having a list of activities to do in the rain, you can’t guarantee your trip is going to run 100% to plan. As in life, in travel, so it's good to go into it with at least a loose thought of what to do if. If you have contingency plan in place, you won't drop your basket on vacation if things don't go your way.

Do you struggle when it comes to planning a trip? Are you a trip planner or a fly by the seat of your pants traveler? Tell me below, and have a happy weekend!


Thursday, October 10, 2019

Thursday Thoughts - And I'll build me a life in the open, a life in the country

1. I'm burning incense over here like the future version of my 17 year old self's wildest dreams.

2. Less than, now. Time to do.
3. When we were young. From a 2003 boardwalk amusement.

4. John Bender's second birthday was yesterday. Four dogs is a lot but I am thankful every day we got this guy.

5. I am eating blow pops like they contain life sustaining nutrients. Jesus take the wheel.

6. Thanks to everyone who linked up or read Show Us Your Books Tuesday - both the link up and the giveaway are still open. I've finished a book, started another, and am picking up a big ass stack of library books tomorrow.

7. Happy happy birthday to my longtime friend Melissa.

8. Alright. A difference in beliefs is one thing when it's like I don't believe in mixing my food up on a plate before I eat it and you do cool cool vs. I don't believe gay people should marry/I don't believe women should make decisions about their own bodies/I believe black people cry racism/I believe the best place for brown immigrants is in cages...not beliefs I want to sit next to at a table regardless of my relationship to who holds them. Differences are fucking great. They make life interesting and give us so much to talk about. But if the difference is that your beliefs infringe on the rights of others to fucking live as they are, then no...we can't agree to disagree. Racism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, all that shit continues to thrive because we (by we I am mostly referring to straight white people) would rather be civil and not ruffle friends than confront it. Fuck all of that. Look where we are after hundreds of years of messages of kindness. Marginalized groups are still getting shit on and fighting to live as we live while bigots smile and still sit at dinner tables. I am all for kindness and friendship too but damn, man. No. That's just letting bigotry and prejudice thrive under the veil of niceness and civility. Do you see the bigots being kind and friendly to the marginalized groups? No, you fucking don’t, but no one gives a shit about that. Sorry you all...this Ellen thing is nice but it’s the easy way out and the privileged way out because our lives are not on the line when we choose that. It allows the people perpetuating all of those isms to hold onto their beliefs that groups that are “other”  are less than because bigots are still embraced as they are like they can’t help the hate they hold inside. Yes they can, but they won’t unless there is a societal and cultural pressure to examine those beliefs. If you REALLY want to live in a kind world where differences are embraced, we have to have hard conversations with people we love about how their beliefs hurt other people. Not a damn one of us is perfect and the kindness comes not in letting “beliefs” that hate on others be, but in challenging those beliefs and then allowing ourselves and others space to change our beliefs and behaviors to ones that don't threaten the lives and humanity of others. Not in just ignoring those beliefs. It’s hard work, but it’s necessary. We want to say we hate politics but guess what? Politics is people in that rulings and laws and acts etc impact actual human beings every second of every day. Don’t you dare attempt to disconnect those things and wash your hands of politics. How we vote has outcomes and other people thrive or wither by them. 
9. Reminder: courtesy of grace.d.art


10. Ecards. 



What appears after the hyphen in Thursday Thoughts is a song lyric to whatever I'm listening to when I start to write the post. This week is Sweet Seasons by Carole King

Wednesday, October 9, 2019

Keep the Stress of Moving Down


Moving...just the word strikes fear in the hearts of many. If you have a home/apartment move coming up, you are likely experiencing some kind of stress around it. If you're not, it's possible you are living in ignorant bliss because after all, moving is one of the most stressful times in life. The top five most stressful life events include death of a loved one, divorce, moving, major illness or injury, and job loss. So moving is serious business and it's something you usually want to be done as quickly and painlessly as possible in order to carry on and be able to enjoy the home a little more. But unfortunately we can't jump right to the end, so we need to work on keeping stress levels down through the process.  As long as you can do that, the whole thing will seem much easier, so let's get right to how we might do that.

Give it Time
It's always going to be helpful if you can allow yourself plenty of time for the move. Timing of moving is often a slippery bugger dependent on houses closing or apartments being available or leases ending. That doesn't mean you can't do as much as you can in preparation. Purge your belongings. Pack what you don't use daily or weekly. Label boxes well. Do a little every night so you don't feel overwhelmed. Try to find some joy in it for what it is - you can take stock of what you have and what you no longer need and maybe move on to your next place a little lighter. 

Find Some Help
Who wants to do a move all by themselves? No one. There's always help to be had but you need to ask for it or go in search of it. That help could be in the form of some professional movers or just your friends and family (and for heaven's sake if someone offers to help you you say YES). I think the last time we moved I said I was never doing it myself again, but don't we always say these things? Watch I'll be doing it on my own and begging everyone I know for help next time. ANYWAY in either case, hiring or begging, it will be a tremendous help to have others with you and the actual process of moving will go much quicker. 

Plan It Well
I alluded to planning somewhat in the time section above but to plan well, you need to think about every blessed thing and make sure you have it all prepared long before the date of the move itself. Do you have boxes and tape and markers and stuff to wrap your breakables in? How and when are going to move your pets? Do you know where you'll be donating things (check out Vietnam Vets or similar to pick donations up from your house so you don't have to make a lot of trips)? Are you timing your move preparation work so you hit the days your trash gets picked up for anything that is not a donation? Do you have a truck rented or movers hired?  Make a list, check it twice, and go over the logistics to make it as easy as possible on yourself. 

What's your best moving strategy? Do you have one coming up?

Tuesday, October 8, 2019

Show Us Your Books Five Year Anniversary: October 2019



Five years with this linkup.  That's a long time, especially in blog life. If you've joined Jana and me with a post of your own zero times, one time, or 60 times; if you've read one book a month or 15 books a month, if you've found someone in this linkup who is your reading mirror or if you're still looking for someone to talk books with outside of here, if you've read these posts and commented every time or read them and commented never, thank you. I love reading communities, especially ours - there are no rules aside from the must love books rule, and that's really more a way of life, no?

To celebrate five years, we're giving books away to five people: a book from your wishlist, something you've read and would like to own, something you've been dying to read, physical books or kindle books, books to read with your kid, something that's coming out in the next few months you'd like to reserve a copy of so it's delivered as soon as it hits the shelves, a book to give as a holiday gift, whatever you want, as long as the book(s) you want total $15 or under per winner (i.e. one book for $15 or four books that add up to $15). There will be five winners. Enter here: 


Here's what I've been reading since the last linkup.
Buy it links are affiliate links and buying through them supports this link up - earnings over the last year helped to cover two of the prizes in today's giveaway. A year of affiliate links yields under $30...no one is getting rich off of this shit, believe me. Well, I'm not anyway LOL

Engrossing Reads

Ask Again, Yes by Mary Beth Keane - I loved this book during and after reading it and I closed it without being able to articulate exactly why. I liked the writing and really loved Kate and quite a few of the other characters even though it felt written to give the reader a peek-a-boo look into the characters at different points in their lives rather than a serious character study. Ocean City library hard cover     buy it

Her Silent Cry (Detective Josie Quinn #6) by Lisa Regan - Still residual annoyance of one of the main characters but mostly back on track. Free e-copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review    buy it

Passed the Time Just Fine

The Bones She Buried (Detective Josie Quinn #5) by Lisa Regan - I liked and hated this book. One of the main cast of characters completely rubbed me the wrong way and I wanted to put it down but since I knew more books were coming I did not. Philly library paperback     buy it

Bethlehem by Karen Kelly - I chose this book because it would be geographically familiar to me. I think it wanted to be a sweeping epic and it wasn't that but I still enjoyed it. I'm not sure how much of that is due to familiarity with the area. Ocean City library hard cover   buy it

The Art of Inheriting Secrets by Barbara O'Neal - This is by the author of When We Were Mermaids, which I fucking loved. This book was not as searing or deep but I enjoyed it nonetheless. Paperback, own      buy it


Not Worth It

White Lies by Lucy Dawson - No. All of it. I finished it and I'm not sure why. I picked it up on a whim from a display and my good read radar was off. Ocean City library hard cover

Did Not Finish



What have you been reading? 
Linkup Guidelines:
This link up is the second Tuesday of every month. The next linkup is November 12, 2019 
1. Visit and comment with both of your hosts, Jana & me, and check in with as many in our reading circle as you can - give some love to the later linker uppers! 
2. Link back to us in your blog post - if you want the button you can get it from that link


You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!
Click here to enter


Monday, October 7, 2019

TWTW - the first one in October

Friday I was out before 7 to watch Lola Jean and Baby Stephen for the day, which included Lola's school time, a trip to Target where Stephen was an angel, barbies where wild animals kept getting into the house, and playing outside. I stopped to pick up more supplies on the way home and made dinner in the new oven, then painted my nails (Pacifica Purple Haze and Treasured) and counted candy for guessing games for an event.
Saturday I was picking up veggie trays in my pajamas at 7:30 am, showered and purged some shoes, we went to our friend Jenn's dad's viewing, picked up BLTs from our Reen's deli on the way back, came home to find dogs had enjoyed Blow Pops while we were gone, and then I organized supplies for an event, changed sheets, and did some other house busywork.
Saturday afternoon into evening I put on a work event at Franklin Square. Perfect weather and thankful for help from my coworker turned framily Beth and MFD. We got home around 8:15. I was exhausted and sat on the couch with my teeth in my mouth. Fell asleep and stayed there all night, too.
Sunday Coffee and lounging in the morning. I purged 10 boxes/bags of stuff without even breaking a sweat, the zillionth sign that I am holding onto too much shit I don't need or care about. I also threw out a bunch of shit that is clearly trash. I photographed stuff and listed it on poshmark and facebook marketplace to sell, did laundry, emptied the dishwasher, made power breakfast muffins that cooked all the way through for the first time in forfuckingever thanks to the new oven, re-heated pizza for the first time in forfuckingever thanks to the new oven, read, did some thinking on some things and some research on some things and relaxed.
Weekly food prep: Breakfasts are greek yogurt and granola and a side of grapes, snacks are power breakfast muffins, lunches are scrambled eggs with a side of raw veggies, dinners are leftovers of million dollar ravioli casserole and at some point I'll make stuffed peppers.



Tomorrow is the fifth anniversary of Show Us Your Books and there will be prizes. See you here tomorrow for that. 

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