Tuesday, May 26, 2020

TWTW - Q9 Memorial Day

Friday Lunch time activity was painted nails (OPI Madame President, Sally Insta-Dri White On Time, Zoya Sia). Interminably noisy work was being done in front of my house all day. My sister-in-law got the initials of my niece, nephew (not pictured), me, and MFD in before the cement set. 
Friday after work and dinner we walked up to the boards and it was sad. Empy parking lots, closed stores and rides and restaurants. Very not Memorial Day at the shore vibes. Of all the Life is Not Normal things I've seen, that was one of the hardest. 
Saturday I was up at the ass crack to walk B&B, then lay back down to read and listen to the rain and thunder. That was nice. I got up and we hit the beach for a while. I thought it would be chilly and overcast but it turned hot and sunny quickly and we had a few good hours down there. It was so fucking nice to see people with their families. We widened our circle to our immediate family outside the house this week and it's been wonderful. The afternoon was for resting and reading, then Aubrey made dinner and I did more reading at night. Good, restful day. 
Sunday A very windy and cold bike ride to get OPC from Local's. My niece and I did an alley walk to Peace of Wood to pick up paint kits. Aubrey and my brother spackled and painted in the afternoon while my nephew was napping. MFD arrived later with the old dogs and we ordered pizza and mozzarella sticks from Randazzo's and chilled out.
Monday started off with a bike ride, OPC, and then I came back and made deviled eggs and macaroni salad. I got Gus's CBD oil dropped off by a local store (The Road to Living Well, if you are looking for CBD for your pets they ship and my dogs do well with the Bluebird) then headed to the beach for a few hours to read and watch the kids play while MFD went fishing. The wind was a whipper though and I was happy to come home. I always look frightful on the beach and the mask I pull up when I am passing people closely on the access or the boards adds to the fright night appearance. After the beach I picked up a DIY sundae bar from A La Mode and my brother grilled hot dogs and hamburgers. I collapsed on the couch around 8. Being outside so much makes me tired in a good way. Plus I feel every piece of candy I've eaten in quarantine when I ride my bike into the wind. Friends, I've eaten a lot of quarantine candy.

I could use 50 more weekend days but I'm back at work today. 

How was your weekend?

Thursday, May 21, 2020

Thursday Thoughts - I want a house with a crowded table and a place by the fire for everyone

1. My photos are all the same recently. Dogs, like Bruce loving Gus to distraction...
2. Or beach. It has been super freaking cold for May. Like I can still feel winter riding the underside of the wind coming in off the ocean. 

3. And the sunsets look wintry sometimes. Sorry I missed this one last night in its full glory, but I did catch a glimpse from the porch.

4. I finally went to the boardwalk for the first time all year on Wednesday night. I do love an empty boardwalk, but an empty boardwalk the Wednesday before Memorial Day because it feels like 46 degrees + global pandemic is not cool.

5. I've been reading, but still not as much as I've been zoning. I think I finished two books this week and started another. I'm trying to work through my Netgalley box. They've all been beach themed and not my typically murdery shit either.

6. How did we get from my birthday in mid-March to Memorial Day weekend in what might have been five minutes, when the time between alternately felt like five seconds and five years? 

7. I'm behind, but this week I started using my face self tanner. I'm trying a new one (Clarins Radiance Plus Golden Glow Booster) this year so a self tanner incident is even more of a possibility than normal. Keep your eyes peeled for that on this face.

8. I wish I could see people's faces as they try to make only one of these things fit their narrative.

9. Reminder: We are multi-faceted beings capable of feeling so much at once. Don't shame yourself or anyone else for that...even when it's the little things you're missing that you might think are stupid.

10. E-cards...Keep a blessing for those who have died for this country while you're grilling your meats.


The words following the hyphen are the song I am listening to when I start the Thursday Thoughts post. This week is Crowded Table by The Highwomen

Tuesday, May 19, 2020

Maybe tomorrow

Most days I have intentions of sitting down to write a blog post or to dabble in my offline writing notebooks.

Then I get up early and I get lost down on the beach walking longer than I expected to, or I try to get some housework in before work.

Or I sleep in until the last possible second before planting myself in front of my computer...take a long walk at lunch and sit outside instead...put my computer away at the end of the workday, unable to look at it for another minute and desperate to get outside for some air.

Sometimes I have a minute but I'm not sure what I want to write about or the words don't come. The first time I remember that happening was when I was working on my Young Authors submission in first grade. If I was in Philly, I'd dig that baby out and put a picture right in here for you.

I  hate that feeling and I always have, because what it feels like is failing at something you know how to do. And when it happens many days in a row, it feels like losing something about yourself, losing an instinct, that you think will come back if you work hard enough even though creative blocks have very little to do with hard work.

I saw something from Glennon Doyle on Instagram Sunday: "I have not written a word during quarantine. Just a reminder to worried artists - there are times for creating and times for becoming the person who will create the next thing. For many of us, this is a becoming time. Rest and become. Love you."

I felt that deep in my bones. Every ounce of creativity I have in reserve has gone to my job, because I'm getting paid to do that. My personal creativity, I'm just watering and feeding her for now. If you are having trouble creating in your way of creating right now - there are so many of you out there who are creators in some way but don't consider yourself as such - I hope you know resting and becoming are not failures at what you know how to do. They're preparing you for what you'll create next.

Maybe tomorrow. Maybe not. But definitely again.

Monday, May 18, 2020


Friday I was on the beach at 5:30 am, then work work work work work, then zoom happy hour with work fam, followed by a visit from Melissa, Blane, and Alex on their way home from Wildwood. I have zero recollection of anything else from Friday night. Oh, now I do. I went to bed at 12:15 despite being up super early, was woken up at 2:20 am, then at 4:30 am by dogs. 
Saturday After the early wake up I eased into the day. MFD headed back to Philly to do volunteer work. I painted my nails (Essie Flying Solo) and toes (Zoya Charla). MFD's fam arrived to clean out my mother-in-law's apartment. I checked out the new shower curtain up in the bathroom and sat in my driveway until my overspray and weeding that needs to be done distracted me and I moved to the porch watching all the people head to the beach that opened for full access Saturday. Photos online made it like people were up each other's asses. My neighbors who walked back and reported to me on the porch told me people were maintaining distance and respectful. Who knows. Anyway I stayed where I was. We are porch people and my old dog Gus is happiest when I am sitting with him. When they got back from my MIL's we had a big ass seafood meal and I ate a fried platter against my better judgement and was overfull all night. 
Sunday Coffee on the porch, then MFD and siblings headed back to do more clean out work at my MIL's. I chilled and read and walked dogs. When he got back we both fell asleep, then ordered for pickup from Luigi's and watched Back to the Future. I was in bed by 10. 

I'm pretty sure 95% of the people I know have seen people at this point  - whether you made the decision or it was made for you to see your parents/grandkids/etc due to circumstances beyond your control or an outdoor set up that makes it possible to do so - here are some good guidelines to follow as we are opening back up in various ways or at the end of our ropes without seeing people in person as to risk/reward weighing and how to do things a little more safely. And as I said Friday, if you have a reason (justified or not) to do it, others have also, so give grace. 

How was your weekend?

Friday, May 15, 2020

Reopening is what will drive me off the internet

It's been a long time since I skipped a Thursday Thoughts, which happened yesterday. That standard weekly blog post and TWTW are usually ones that carry on through vacations, etc. Yesterday I full out forgot it was Thursday until almost 2 pm. If I don't have a post written before or in the morning, I would usually do it at lunch, but I forgot about lunch too yesterday until I was hangry. It's been a forgetful week. 

I have not forgotten to stay off the internet. I'm doing that more than ever. 

I'm doing that because you literally cannot fucking win, no matter what you do or don't do. I swear the reopening of this country is what will drive me into myself because people are fucking ruthless about other people. Just absolutely ruthless. This coming from someone who has dabbled in over four years being anti-trump and anti-MAGA and gone toe to toe on that about a million times. I have found haven amid people with beliefs that align with mine. Corona Land is splintering even that. 

I am sick of the People Police judging other people for existing. When protocols are relaxed in their states/municipalities and people start doing things, other people do not fucking like that and they make it well known. I get it. You disagree. I also believe in science, but I know where I live. In a country that will not allow for the most caution to be taken. All of these things do not change the fact that people are going to do what they are allowed to do and they are going to do what capitalism demands they do. They're out there licking doorknobs and coughing on people? Threat to public health. They're out operating in line with the current restrictions but not in line with what I'm personally doing? Nah. There's not an award for best quarantiner. There's more than one person doing this right. We're all constantly weighing risk vs. reward and have been from the start. 

I wish people would channel communications and anger at the fucking government who completely fucked this eight ways to May from the start. Yes, this means you too, people on "my side." Complaining on the internet is not calling your government representative every hour. If you want everything closed for two years, talk to the government about freezing everything and providing economic relief as well as testing and free medical care to ALL people, adequate PPE without a fucking bidding war to ALL healthcare workers (as well as those in other essential industries) as well as whatever fucking state they're in - blue or red, free masks for those who cannot afford them or make them, and a hold on businesses who cannot operate as essential with no penalty or taxes or evictions or any damn thing. 

And at this point...it's too late. That shit should have been done from the start along with a million other things the federal government failed at. Don't how would we pay for that at me either. We fucking have it. 

And. My people have forgotten something very important in all of this. 

Stay Home is a privileged concept, especially if you are staying home and still have one or two full salaries, work for a company that enables work from home and will continue to, have the ability/provisions to work from home, have savings if that is not the case, do not work in a business deemed essential (raise your hand if you live in a state where you are surprised at what was deemed essential - beer distributors? weird), don't own a small business your entire life savings is tied up in, are a citizen entitled to unemployment benefits, live in a home without any type of abuse, live in a home with a dedicated outdoor space, live in a home with a yard where you can see family and friends, and can still afford food which has gone up by at least 20% and is unlikely to come back down etc etc etc. So, yeah...people who live in 500 square feet with no outdoor space and have been out once a week are absolutely going to go to the park or beach when they open. People who work in nail salons are absolutely going to go back to work when they can because they can't afford not to, and people who get their nails done will support those people because they want them to survive, too. Likewise, as things open, people with compromised immunity need protections and, yes, likely economic support. 

Am I saying everyone do whatever they want? No, of course I'm not. Do you know me? But putting people on blast for operating within the protocols is a complete misdirection of our collective energy. Especially because unless the government freezes everything and provides for everything there is no outcome that is good for all people. Not one fucking outcome. There is risk in everything aside from that thing where everything is closed and everyone is looked after health-wise and economically until this is under control. Which we have seen will not happen. Not with this government.

So, onward. Only the road to onward is full of hellish judgement from everyone about everything. 

 What I have feared all along is happening - people are afraid to leave their homes when restrictions are lifted, which is understandable and absolutely fine, but they are freaking out because other people do not have that fear. And people who are not afraid are fucking furious that people are afraid. People leaving their homes to do what is essential to them or support small businesses they deem essential are judgmental of others doing the same, as if everyone is doing it wrong except them. As if they are the only ones with the correct intentions and essentials. I have seen people post things online shaming other people then in comments refer to doing the exact thing they were shaming people for. Whaaaaat. As if only businesses they patronize are essential and worthy of surviving this. Stop. You cannot lash out at other people  who are operating correctly in the world as it is at this time, mindful of space and their own immune systems and yours. They're not making the rules. The government is. 

This is a public health crisis we will not fully understand for years until it can be studied by scientists. In the meantime, people are not going to stay at home for two years because as mentioned above, it's not possible here, and by all accounts, that was not the intent - the initial shut down was meant to flatten the curve and not overwhelm the hospitals. 

So now we have people who want everything shut down until there is a cure, people who will not get a vaccine when one becomes available, people who are ready to get back to living hut adapted with new protocols, people who refuse to adapt and want to live the old way, people who want safety guarantees for something we don’t even fully understand, people who are rejecting science because it is not working quickly enough for them, and people who think it’s a hoax or man made. 

And everyone thinks they're right and it is fucking exhausting. 

On one side there's people screaming about reopening every damn thing and I don't even know what to say there. On the other side Governors who have been lauded for their lockdown policies and listening to science and healthcare professionals are slowly re-opening their states and the same people who lauded them are convinced those governors are no longer listening. What? Where are we right now where we believe what we want to all the time, and stop believing it when it no longer feels comfortable for us personally? On both fucking sides. Both fucking sides. 

Spying on neighbors and photographing them doing things you don't think they should be doing and all sorts of other bullshit is very reminiscent of a lot of bad history. It fills me with rage and a deep, deep disappointment. If you are so concerned about how people are behaving and have nothing better to do, turn your energy to the government and ask where the tests are. Where the economic support for all people and businesses is. Don't fucking turn on your neighbors because you think they're making the wrong choices when the choice has been opened up for them to make. 

People can be taking this seriously, worried about the economy, grieve the loss of life as we knew it, be out in public, be afraid, support healthcare workers, support small businesses, AND STILL DO THE RIGHT THINGS. All at once. Do some people not give a fuck? Sure. Are there more of us who do? YES. 

It's all just too fucking much. I can't get through this period in time sitting in judgement of people doing the best they can with what they have where they are. I just don't have it in me to have a worldview where only I have good intentions or an acceptable impact and believe the majority of people suck. That's not me. And I can’t watch other people do it either. I need to come out of this with my sanity intact and if that is with a smaller online circle, then that's what it is. If you need to remove me from your circle because I'm not participating in this online stoning, that's okay too. We all have to do what we need to do to come through this. 

Whew. Sorry. That was a lot for a Friday. Since I missed Thursday Thoughts, this is the week in pictures. I've been sitting on the porch, looking at my plants, hanging with the fam, walking on the empty beach before dawn, spray painting and organizing shit, making one of the only crockpot meals I like thanks to my sister-in-law, working from home while the dogs sleep from home, catching bay-side sunsets, checking out provisions the shore is putting in place for reopening. 

Oh. And Corona Land...but make it fashion.

Happy Friday!

Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Show Us Your Books May 2020

Hey hi hello. Continuing the light quaranreading months up in this piece. I'm picking up books and putting them down so quickly that I haven't even been tracking any do not finish books that I don't get more than 30 pages in. I'll probably go back to most of them at some point, because I'm operating from an it's not you, it's me place. I've also been forgetting to update Goodreads and have to rely on my camera or bookshelf to show me what I've read LOL. 

How have you been? 

Here's what I've been reading since the last linkup.

Engrossing Reads

Truths I Never Told You by Kelly Rimmer - The writing was good. The story was sad as hell speckled with joy. It t was a quick read and kept my attention which is not an easy feat in quarantine times. Netgalley read in exchange for an honest review       

Find Her Alive (Detective Josie Quinn #8) by Lisa Regan - When in doubt, series it out is something I stand by in Corona Land and out. Loved this latest installment of the Josie Quinn series and I hope Lisa Regan churns another out soon. I love following her and her dog on Instagram LOL. If you like these kinds of books and haven't dived in to Josie, what are you doing? E-book, own 

The Night Swim by Megan Goldin - This broke my heart a lot, especially the flashbacks. I liked the premise of the present, which reminded me a tiny bit of Sadie. Solid read. I'd pre-order either to purchase or from a library. Free copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review, book comes out August 4. 

Passed the Time Just Fine

The Safe Place by Anna Downes - I didn't see a big piece of this coming, and thought many things along the way, which is good. A bunch of this could be cut out, but overall a quick read that had some pizzazz. Netgalley read in exchange for an honest review, book comes out July 14

Open Book by Jessica Simpson - I liked this more than I thought I would. She's not the idiot she's been molded into in the media (not without her knowing). I liked the tea in regards to John Mayer and Nick Lachey as well, I mean that's why I read it in the first place, but came out liking her a lot more than I went in. E-book, own

Conjure Women - I was drawn in by the cover art and super pumped to read this. I think the experience would have been different outside of quarantine. This was a slow build and I don't have  a lot of patience for a slow build right now, even if the writing and characters can sustain it. Hardcover, own 

Deeper Than the Dead (Oak Knoll #1) by Tami Hoag - Crime shit set in the mid-80s and 90s always feels like The Wire to me. Part of the fun is all the stuff we're used to now having been schooled on CSI and Kay Scarpetta, etc., that they didn't have then. This was a easy read. Paperback, own

Parable of the Talents (Earthseed #2) by Octavia E. Butler - I liked this better than the first, but the post apocalyptic nature is still not the right time to read these books for me personally. If you like Dystopian novels, check the Earthseed books out. Paperback, own 

Not Worth It

Did Not Finish

What have you been reading? 

Linkup Guidelines:
This link up is the second Tuesday of every month. The next linkup is Tuesday, June 9, 2020
1. Visit and comment with both of your hosts, Jana & me, and check in with as many in our reading circle as you can - give some love to the later linker uppers! 
2. Link back to us in your blog post - if you want the button you can get it from that link

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

Monday, May 11, 2020

TWTW - Q8 for the moms

Friday I think the weather was shit. I worked extra Thursday so the Friday 4 pm tap out was even more welcome this week. Lunch was a fun plate. Vincent ordered dinner of pizza and fried things. Nails are Essie Blue Rhapsody. I fell asleep on the couch at like 10? Maybe? Friday feels far away now.
Saturday Gus fell down the steps at 2:30 am, and I was up from 2:30 to around 8 then slept from 8 to noon so that was totally fucked. Note: on Monday, I had to ask MFD what day this happened LOL. I still don't think he's right but he has to be. I took it easy the rest of the day and spent most of it reading and putting laundry away, etc. I made stuffed peppers for dinner. We zoomed with our old crew (these fools plus Jenny, Kim, and Ian) for over three freaking hours. I finally had to go to bed at 12:30. 

Sunday I was up by 7:30, which did not help the sleep deficit. I caught up on correspondence, paid bills, and then we sat outside for a while. I had big plans to do things but Gus wanted to lay with me so I did that instead. I stopped by to see my stepmom for Mother's Day, then on to do the same with my Mom and my stepdad - his birthday was Saturday - thankful for a nice day to visit. Hope all you moms had as good of a day as possible even though this year was different than usual. Different is not bad, just...different. If your perspective is correct, anyway. Anyhoo what a weird year the past week has been.
When I got home we watched an inadvisable number of Hoarders. I finished a book and started another and that's about that. 

Tomorrow is Show Us Your Books with me & Jana. See you back here for that! I never share what I'm currently reading in that post, so for inquiring minds this is the book I started last night:

Friday, May 8, 2020

Things I've been looking at on the internets

My googles are getting a workout. Some things I've looked up this week...you?

That there ring light to share with coworkers for use on video calls to help with lighting

Ergonomic chair

Folding ergonomic chair (don't bother, no options)

Yardley Italian restaurant - after patronizing it for over 20 years I could not remember the name "Carluccis" off the top of my head

bloombox to see if they had mulch for delivery

Britney Spears shaved head - to do side by sides with coronacuts in pictures


Bekins Moving Solutions - you never know when I woman might want to say F it and move to the shore

PetFinder - because why wouldn't someone who already has four dogs look at more dogs in need of adoption? 

Romeo & Juliet Claire Danes Leonardo DiCaprio

Best kitchen tools

Mother's Day images

Jeggings - my six year old, $30 pair couldn't hold up to increased Quarantine wear

Scrunchies. No, it's not 1990. Yes, I did purchase the

SEO in Mississauga - SEO is work stuff for me

Cruelty-free lip balm since Bruce and Ben ate my lip balm

Weather for the next 25 days

Pug garden statues I need to get out of this house

Hollywood cast

License to Drive dad

Has your internet behavior increased? Decreased? Changed?

Happy Friday!

Thursday, May 7, 2020

Thursday Thoughts - Things are bound to be improving these days one of these days

Watching UnOrthodox, Hollywood, A Secret Love. We're on episode five of Hollywood. Also the Parks & Rec reunion. I thought it was nice of those people to get together and do that. I love and miss the Parks crew.

Talking like Leslie Jordan. Welll shiiit. How y'all doin? I hope you're following him on Instagram. He makes me laugh every day.

Reading slowly still in quarantine. Show Us Your Books is Tuesday!

Riding in cars with dogs. 

Considering getting a more ergonomic chair to work from home. Do you have one you love?

Collecting flip flops on the ground floor. I keep coming to my desk and kicking them off then there they stay.

Cracking the fuck up. Fucking unboxing videos
Needing to paint my nails, change the sheets, put laundry away, pack up returns, get something printed somewhere, get a plant in the ground before it dies, etc.

Eating taco salad. The best part of making tacos for all is crafting a delicious taco salad. Big into salsa verde right now.

Listening to These Days by Jackson Browne - lyrics behind the Thursday Thoughts

Receiving a lipstick in the first week of May that I ordered last freaking year to support the Women's March.

Disbelieving that so many people are sharing fucking YouTube videos on goddamn pandemic conspiracy theories during Nurse's Week of all weeks. Humans are egotistical as fuck thinking nothing occurring in nature could take us down. You dumbasses. It's a novel virus. IT'S NEW. It has to be studied and understood. That doesn't happen in six months. Science is actually real, which some of you have forgotten in your years studying as facebook experts in microbiology, etiology, all other science-related fields, as well as politics and the Constitution because you are well rounded know-it-alls if you're nothing else. And no, it's not a conspiracy that the quack video keeps getting taken down. It's getting taken down because it is dangerous misinformation that can lead to the death of others. It's being pushed by trolls and you're fucking doing their work for FREE. This is how fucking bad it is - YouTube rarely removes ANYTHING. That is how fucking stupid and bad the idiot video is. So do not post it and say you're just "putting it out there" or whatever the fuck you want to hide behind as the reason for posting it because what you are DOING is spreading FALSE INFORMATION that could get people KILLED. Do not post it, share it, like it. Just fucking don't. Whether you think it's overblown or not overblown, a lot of people are dying from this and I don't want you to have to know someone who dies from it to take it seriously. And yes, I do know the economy is suffering. Believe me, I know that in my own home with my spouse not being allowed to work and making $0 and receiving $0 in unemployment thus far. Just stay in your fucking lane. You don't need to solve this one from your keyboard in your home. You fucking think your tin foil hat is tapping into a frequency of a worldwide plandemic? Come the fuck on now. Stop. It's embarrassing as a human.
thanks for the image Nichole
Appreciating nurses this week and every week, and teachers too. Why do nurses and teachers have to share an appreciation week (nurse image is day, but it's week this week too)? It seems extra important that they get their own time going forward LOLOL. Every time a loved one has been in the hospital it has been nurses that have kept them going with excellent care and knowledge and provided support to family members. And my life would be extremely different without the tremendous teachers I had throughout with the exception of a very few. Sometimes the only thing some kids have are teachers who care - this job is so important. They both are. Pay them more.
Loving this photo my cousin Rob found and sent to me

Thinking I was a little ahead of myself here. This came up last week and I didn't start a blog until 2011.

Wondering when I'll even be on a train next.

Reminding you

Laughing at an oldie but a goodie

What's new?

Linking up with Kristen

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