Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Shit MFD Said Vol. 5

Driving to Cape May
MFD: On the way back, we should take  the Tacony home and save $3 on the bridge toll.
Me: That is ridiculous. I am not taking the long ass way through Jersey to save $3, which I will spend in gas stopped at lights.
MFD: I like to pinch pennies.
Me: Except when you go to Dunkin Donuts twice a day.
MFD: Yes, except for then.


Me: You ate all of those things? 
MFD: What things?
Me: The 12 Popsicles we got less than two days ago.
MFD: I don't know what you're talking about. Someone must have come in and eaten them.

MFD: I had like a four foot long hair coming out of my nose. 
Me: Oh yeah? Age. 
MFD: I don't like it. 

After 5 straight minutes of whipping the dogs into a cacophonous barking frenzy that is grating on my ears and soul:
MFD: Steph, are you a member of the CMB? Steph, I asked you a question. You better answer me. 
Me: What the hell is the CMB?
MFD: Cash Money Brothers. CASH MONEY BROTHERS!!
Me: Are you leaving to drop the paint off now? Or something?

Two weeks later
MFD: Steph, are you a CMB?
Me: A what? 
MFD: A CMB!
Me: This again? A cash money brother? Is this a thing? Why do you keep asking me this?
MFD: Because we live in a New Jack City, Steph. This is the way it is. I don't know what to tell you.

MFD's infatuation with Groupons lives on. 

******************************************
Haikuesday:
Cash Money Brothers...
This exists? Caught unaware.
New Jack City, yo.
******************************************

   photo purple_zpse5f7f916.png
All read and approved by MFD before they go live...
Shit MFD Said Vol 1
Shit MFD Said Vol 2
Shit MFD Said Vol 3
Shit MFD Said Vol 4

Linking up for
Voyage of the Mee Mee

36 comments:

  1. When Scott riles the dogs up, I'm prefer that he just leaves (and hopefully takes them along). It must be a husband thing.
    I teach my students the word cacophony every year (used to be a 4th grade spelling word) and we would secretly use it to describe the loud, unruly class next door.

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  2. "I WANNA SHOOT YOU SO BAD, MY DICK'S HARD". such a great movie. i love that he quotes NJC.

    i tried dunkin donuts coffee yesterday at miami international airport because you were saying how awesome it is and i gotta say, it's a close second to my favorite coffee...in other words, it was pretty damn good. so thanks for that :)

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  3. Seriously MFD's are always the best!! CMB is a thing? Who knew? Not me!

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  4. I can't pick which part about this post made me giggle the most...probably the cash money, but maybe the zipper fly...I can't decide!! :)

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  5. What is with husbands wanting to save money on tolls but spending on other ridiculous things? And how is the at home whitening work? Inquiring minds need to know. Are you a CMB? Steph, this post leaves too many unanswered questions!

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  6. These are seriously my fave when you share! I died at the Groupon one...such a good wife!

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  7. These are my favorite posts, you two crack me up. "Someone else must have ______" is a common excuse in my home. Often it's blamed on the dog who can't blame anyone else.

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  8. Haha that's pretty hilarious - every time I hear "CMB" I think Cash Money Billionaires because of Lil Wayne who is so annoying but it's always repeating on the radio. I've done that driven a long way to avoid a toll fee but in the end you're definitely spending more on gas so I got an EZpass :) Have a great one Stephanie! -Iva

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  9. Getting our dog riled up is my husband's #1 favorite activity and he would most definitely follow it with a conversation like yours about CMB. These are hysterical!

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  10. LMAO I love these. Do you take them down in notes on your phone as they happen?

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  11. MFD is nuts
    he comes up with funny shit
    he keeps you guessing!

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  12. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA @ CMB! Oh my gosh, I'm dying. MFD never disappoints! hahaha
    You need to write a book of poetry. Clearly, you have a gift.

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  13. LMAO what the hell is CMB? You must be living some hardcore secret gangsta life ;) lol

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  14. Ctfu at CMB....oh lord! And the Haiku was priceless #newjackcityyo

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  15. Ctfu at CMB....oh lord! And the Haiku was priceless #newjackcityyo

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  16. Can I tell you I barely held it together at work when he asked you about CMB and you responded with "This again? A cash money brother? Is this a thing? Why do you keep asking me this?" I'm laughing about it again right now. Men are so weird.

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  17. Joe is so cheap he refuses to buy new clothes even though he needs them. However, he spends on Dunkin as well... a month of DD could buy a few shirts!

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  18. LOL! Love it all! I love your face in the home whitening pick-up photo :)

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  19. LOL, CMB?!?! WTF? I am a little confused and intrigued. The streets of Philly must be gangsta.

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  20. michael always lies about eating food. sometimes i believe him bc he is so fit, that asshole.

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  21. I love these. Eating an entire box of popsicles is something that all husbands do I think. J also eats all the ice cream and then tells me that the freezer burn was so bad he had to throw it away... when I can see the empty ice cream container in the trash.

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  22. hahaha at the popsicles. That is too funny. Also Im with you, I would have paid the 3 bucks and taken the short way home!

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  23. This post is awesome. Can totally see my guy doing all the same things - and now feel I also need to document on my blog. Too funny! I'll have to remember to link up next time!

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  24. Get down wit' CMB-- said MFD! Love all of these!

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  25. I think the Groupon adventures are my favorite.

    John eats potato chips in two sittings; it is fucking ridiculous.

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  26. Well, Dunkin Donuts is delicious. Mmm.

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  27. Groupon! Hahaha. And I am glad that I was not the only one who didn't know CMB. I dont feel so far behind! OH and if he already has the nose hairs - watch out for the ear hair. They can never see it on their own!

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  28. While I've seen New Jack City, I would not have remembered CMB. And I'm still unclear why he was asking if you are one. LOL

    I've finally started a draft post of shit Aaron says.

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  29. That haiku, though. Bahahaha! And the thing about pinching pennies is too funny! :)

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  30. Hahaha my favorite is definitely the 2 weeks later. "Because we live in a New Jack City, Steph. This is the way it is. I don't know what to tell you." If I had been drinking anything when I read that I would've spit it out lol.

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  31. what is a new jack city? ha. men are the weirdest!

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  32. Steve's been going through 2-3 bags of Fritos a week. Fucking disgusting

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  33. So hysterical the teeth whitening kit. CMB...oh wow MFD.

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  34. these posts never get old. 12 popsicles?!

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  35. A CASH MONEY BROTHER?!? I love it. Hahaha.

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