Friday, January 27, 2017

Shit MFD Said: Vol 37



MFD: You know what I was thinking on the way back here? All through my time with really painful second degree burns I was tolerable and even pleasant...five hours with this man cold and I'm a fucking tyrant.
Me: Mm hmm.
MFD: This man cold stuff is horrible.
Me: You don't need to tell me.

MFD: You know what I like looking at? Pictures of people going to the mall in 1989.
Me: Is that what you do with your time?
MFD: No. Did you like going to the mall?
Me: Yeah, I liked it. Did you?
MFD: big sigh. It was such a simpler time. And you could smoke in the mall.

After relaying an insane situation in which he saved an old man from an attack dog in North Philly
MFD: Well...we'll never walk our dogs in North Philly.
Me: No shit Mike.

MFD: We need a hummingbird.
Me: What? Like a feeder?
MFD: No. A pet hummingbird.
Me: I don't think they really want to be pets.
MFD: They do, they do.
Me: I don't think so.
MFD: Specifically my pet

Getting out of a van
Van driver: Be careful, it's slippery when wet.
MFD: Like Bon Jovi.

A nice infographic-ish photo I sent via text that was ignored
Rubbing it in

Have a good weekend my friends! Make some time for a long sleep, a straight from the gut laugh, and some self care. Like L'Oreal says, because you're worth it. 


All read and approved by MFD before they go live...
Shit MFD Said Vol 1Shit MFD Said Vol 2Shit MFD Said Vol 3Shit MFD Said Vol 4
Shit MFD Said Vol 5Shit MFD Said Vol 6Shit MFD Said Vol 7Shit MFD Said Vol 8
Shit MFD Said Vol 9Shit MFD Said Vol 10Shit MFD Said Vol 11, Shit MFD Said Vol 12, Shit MFD Said Vol 13, Shit MFD Said Vol 14, Shit MFD Said Vol 15, Shit MFD Said Vol 16, Shit MFD Said Vol 17, Shit MFD Said Vol 18, Shit MFD Said Vol 19, Shit MFD Said Vol 20, Shit MFD Said Vol 21, Vol 22, Vol 23, Vol 24, Vol 25, Vol 26, Vol 27, Vol 28, Vol 29, Vol 30, Vol 31, Vol 32, Vol 33, Vol 34, Vol 35, Vol 36



27 comments:

  1. A hummingbird...I think that would annoy him immediately LOL! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

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  2. Haha I think most husbands choose the suffering option...it's SO easy to put things in the dishwasher though!! I mean, it takes an extra 3 seconds, at most! :) I would love to hear if you ever get a hummingbird as a pet...lol. Man colds are the worst. Happy Friday!

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  3. Lol! I have slippery when wet posted on the door from the garage and think of Bon Jovi every time I see it ❣️ Love the end of this blog!! Good sleeps and laughs, etc! Happy and safe and sound weekend to all❣️❣️
    Love. Your. Momma. 💖✨😇☮🦄🍀❤️🌞💃🦋🌅

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  4. So.... MFD... were you the one smoking at the mall in 1989?? ...and who is this man who owns his man cold?! Lmao.

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  5. I laughed out loud at the Bon Jovi comment and the hummingbird as a pet. I love these posts!

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  6. Pretty sure I was looking through those same mall photos online. Ha.
    The North Philly comment was the best. Hahahaha!
    I like your dishes+sink options!

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  7. I nearly spit out a mouthful of goldfish crackers when I read the "like Bon Jovi" comment! Too funny!

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  8. Your MFD posts are the equivalent of my 'mom texts' for you - I love these!

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  9. This one made me laugh out loud multiple times. You could smoke in the mall LOL

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  10. That was on the news the other day of a man rescuing a hummingbird that got hurt. It now stays in his house. Legit flies around & comes & sits on his shoulder. IT was just on like last week. You may or may not want to let MFD know ;)

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  11. Like Bon Jovi LOL!!!! And dont speak of the man cold! That is the worst thing ever.

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  12. YES to the Bon Jovi reference, and LOL at the man cold. They're seriously no joke! :-P

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  13. i remember times you could smoke in the mall and just sit in the food court chain smoking (not me, but i saw a lot of my friends doing that). hell, i remember times you could smoke IN A PLANE.

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  14. We'll never walk our dogs in North Philly...

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  15. oh man, I will never get enough of these. hahahaha. The hummingbird comment. And the attack dog situation sounds terrifying!

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  16. Hah! I love this so much. I could definitely use some laughs right around now.

    -Lauren

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  17. I'm thinking you should let this pet hummingbird situation play out. You could at least gift him the feeder next time you want to surprise him. Also, please ask him what he would name it just so i know.

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  18. The Bon Jovi reference got me.

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  19. A hummingbird might possibly be the most difficult thing to keep as a pet! lol

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  20. Option D is "Leave on the table for days until significant other picks it up".

    The mall thing is so true. Malls used to be my happy place. No more.

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  21. LOL I'm just picturing him like a Disney princess surrounded by hummingbirds.

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  22. Hahahahaha! This made me laugh. I love it.

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  23. Let's state the obvious. This is my favorite:
    Getting out of a van
    Van driver: Be careful, it's slippery when wet.
    MFD: Like Bon Jovi

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