Thursday, September 19, 2019

Thursday Thoughts - on a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair

1. First feminist point...the first rule of feminist fight club is to always talk about feminist fight club. Image via thewildfeminine on Instagram. 

2. Second feminist point: women told you and you chose not to believe them and passed him through anyway and this has been and continues to be a fucking disgrace. Sometimes I wish I cared less about this shit and lived in ignorance.

3. Sometimes you need a good neutral nail. I love the name of this - Dark Desert Highway by Pacifica. I lost my summer lipstick to the ocean last weekend so I guess it's time to move on from that LOL
4. The weather has been superb for sleeping and lunch walks. Fall popped back on to say hey but summer's returning this weekend.
5. I'm already lining up my casseroles. I think ravioli casserole is first. I love a casserole any time but they seem out of place in the summer.

6. I feel out of place in Philly right now since most nights have been spent at the shore recently. I do love those off season running by on the beach as part of their sports teams practice, this lady on a bike with her dog running behind her (he goes in the basket when they get to a populated area).
7. Every year I buy this crap for MFD. Not a fan.
8. Happy happy birthday to my nephew Drew and my brother Swan today.

9. Reminder:

10. Ecards...and I hate when I find one I like and it's a poor resolution.

What's burning through your brain this week? 

What appears after the hyphen in Thursday Thoughts is a song lyric to whatever I'm listening to when I start to write the post. This week I was late writing it Wednesday nightand listening to nothing so the lyric is from my nail polish color - Hotel California by The Eagles...when I got In the car this morning, that’s the song that was on so it was meant to be

Wednesday, September 18, 2019

How is this my life?

I've asked myself that question so many times with different emotional inflections in my inner voice. 

With exhaustion when things are too much. 

With disbelief when crazy shit happens.

With uncertainty in those really dark times when it seems like there is no light.

With rage when I have to deal with situations I don’t want to deal with. 

With disappointment when I’ve fucked something up and need to dig myself out of a hole. 

With frustration when things go wrong and set off a chain reaction of shit.

With resignation when there’s traffic late at night when there shouldn’t be. 

With gratitude for my framily. They make my whole life. 

With appreciation when something in the universe manifests exactly for me. 

With wonder when I realize that my life at the shore is actually my life. 

With a feeling of pure joy bubbling up in my chest when I think of how many things are so fucking good. 

The last four are my favorite. 

Happy birthday to Jen, my oldest friend. I've been friends with her since I was three. 

Tuesday, September 17, 2019

TWTW - the one with the fam

Thursday After work I took Bruce & Ben to Dog Beach where Bruce posed like the little model he is. We narrowly beat a massive storm home. I showered and read a book from start to finish. 

Friday I prepped veggies and dip and cleaned upstairs before taking Bruce and Ben to Dog Beach. We were involved in a puppy rescue when he slipped his leash. All was well but I had 99 heart attacks. My Dad and Carol arrived in the afternoon and Aubrey and my niece and nephew soon after. We walked to the playground where too many people were to sneak los perros in. Dinner was an assortment of stuff from Bennie’s and a pasta from Piccini that we ate family style. 
We hustled up to the boardwalk where they got ice cream as I collected my water to charge under the full moon. 

Saturday Dad got donuts for all, playground, relaxing with the dogs and playing in the driveway with Lola while the baby slept, and a nice afternoon at the beach. 
My brother arrived as we were getting showered and we hit the boards for Greek good from Opa, rides, pumpkin Kohr Bros, and a lovely moon. MFD arrived after 10 with Gus and Mae. 
Sunday  was a drizzly morning. Dad’s donut run was to Cathy’s for cream donuts. We headed to the beach around noon and had front row seats to the air show. It turned out to be a tremendous weather day. We headed right from the beach to rides and food...bathing suits and all. Aubrey and Stephen and the kids left, MFD went fishing, and I relaxed a little before watching the Eagles with Dad and Carol and making air fryer wings. Bed at midnight. 

Monday  I hung out with Dad and Carol on the porch and they cleaned up the top two floors of the house which was a huge help. MFD and i finished the rest, then took the dogs to Dog Beach where everyone went in the water. I was going to leave by 1 but the weather was too good. We went to a fishing beach and whiled away the afternoon there. It was glorious. MFD wasn’t ready to leave when I was so I walked home along the beach with daylight fading in the background. Now that’s my type of commute. Shower, dog walking, packing up, final touches upstairs for the MS event team coming in Friday, and sweet dreams by 10:30.

Weekly food prep: Welp as of right now nothing is prepared but tonight I'm making pork loin, wild rice, and broccoli, so...that'll be lunch and dinner for a few days. I'll probably do breakfast burritos from the freezer for breakfasts. 

I intended to post this yesterday but then was like eh still weekending. Happy birthday to Lauren from Saturday and Shelby from yesterday! 

Thursday, September 12, 2019

Thursday Thoughts - some nights I wish that my lips could build a castle

1. Last night was the first time in quite a while that I fell into bed with not even the skeleton of a Thursday Thoughts post drafted and zero care about it. I was working late and my eyes were about to fall out of my head. So today's lunch is being spent writing Thursday Thoughts and painting nails (Zoya Sia). Excuse the background of the tiny vestibule that I won't actually finish until the spring.

2. This week has been weird - in the office two days in a row, working from the shore two days in a row, then off what is two days in a row but sandwiches the weekend. It's just been me and Bruce and Ben since Tuesday night. I spent much of Wednesday with my mother-in-law and my Dad and Carol, Aubrey, and the kids are coming tomorrow. 

3. When you work from the shore, you can do this after work. Or in between work really, I left at 6:45, spent about 45 minutes on the beach with the dogs, then got back to work until 10:30 last night. I'm so much more active here - walk the dogs multiple times per day including a long walk after work, riding my bike all over. Not to mention outdoor showers. All that results in more productive workdays too because my mindset is better. 

4. I saw this on the way home and pulled over and walked Bruce and Ben by to check it out. It made me sad, with all the rooms exposed and the sign all looking like an accident victim. I posted it on my shore instagram, hope you follow along there.

5. I went to the library Wednesday but have read zero books this week. Like not at all. I also got my car washed for the first time since March...I give zero shits about cars. The inside is full of sand and dog hair. This is my life.

6. In my ideal world, the sun sets at 8:30 pm and rises at 6:30 am. Can I talk to someone about that? I hate when we lose the light at night, but I love when seeing the sunrise from first light on means not getting up at 4:50 am.

7. Every day is an authoritative slide. Still people support this administration. ICE is the fucking Gestapo in America in 2019, full stop.

8.  I saw these earrings I really want. They're $34 and would replace the $30 studs I've been wearing for two years. But I hesitate because of the opal curse. Do you know/believe in it? When you aren't supposed to wear opals unless they are your birthstone? I think my mother told me this. That has led me to a wild goose chase on the internet re: gemstones and crystals this week. Hence the no reading.

9. Reminder: Stop amping yourself up about things you perceive you are behind on or are missing out on

10. Ecards.

What appears after the hyphen in Thursday Thoughts is a song lyric to whatever I'm listening to when I start to write the post. This week is Some Nights by Fun. I listen to this a lot

Wednesday, September 11, 2019

Reaching out to a teen in crisis mode: A guide

Wednesday! How are we friends? With National Suicide Prevention Day being yesterday, I thought this piece by Maggie Hammond was a timely share. Maggie is Mom to two little people and many animals; and passionate about healthcare, the great outdoors, and world peace.
It's a tough time to be a teenager in the digital era. If social media doesn’t play its part, then it’s their hormones, their peers, how they look, and even what music or TV programs they like. As adults, it can be difficult to connect to our children when they’re going through this trying stage of their lives. After all, the modern world changes so much over the past couple of decades that we just don’t know exactly what it’s like for them anymore.

The difficulties of being a teenager pass for some, but there are young people who need additional support as they deal with any mental health or addiction issues that affect them. If you are a parent, guardian or caregiver to a teenager experiencing such problems, here are some ways you can strengthen your relationship with them.

Let them know you’re there for them
Just reassuring your teen that you will support them no matter what will help them greatly as they seek treatment for their mental health issues. Tell them you love them and that they have nothing to be ashamed about their condition.

Talk to them - and listen
It may be a difficult one to do, but starting a conversation about mental health is crucial for you both. However, you shouldn’t try and not ‘fix’ the problem, even if it is your parental instinct.

Additionally, once you do start talking, listen. Show you’ll always be there to hear what your teen has to say about their mental health, no matter when that could be. Consistently being available for them is much, much better than having just that one chat every so often.

Open up about your family history
If you or another member of your family has experienced a mental health problem, tell them about it. Not only will they learn about your experiences, but they’re more likely to open up about how they feel as well. It will also help to remove the stigma of mental illness in the process.

Ask for help
You won’t have all of the answers, and it’s okay to say you don’t know what to do to support your child. Go out and find what resources are available to you and your teenager, in addition to what’s on offer through your physician or mental health professional.

Attending programs or going to residential treatment centers, such as those offered by Ignite Teen Treatment, may help them overcome their struggles. Support groups in your local area, or from reputable resources online, could also provide you, your family and your teen with advice to help you all through this time. You can also make adjustments at home, or speak to your child’s school about what they can do; it could be changes with scheduling, classroom setup, or asking to provide additional instructions for work.

Take care of yourself
You can’t provide the support your teenager needs if you are not in a good place. It’s why you need to take the time to look after yourself, which means you can be there for your child when they need you the most.

Let's keep talking about mental health issues. Not doing so does a disservice to everyone. 

I've only written about September 11 once, and you can find that here

Tuesday, September 10, 2019

Show Us Your Books September 2019

Did this come up quickly or is it just me? Can you believe this linkup turns five years old next month? Jana is not participating this month, she's been busy with work and dog health issues, so if you could keep a good thought for Barkley and their family, that would be much appreciated! 

Here's what I've been reading since the last linkup.
Buy it links are affiliate links and buying through them supports this link up.

Engrossing Reads

Her Mother's Grave (Josie Quinn #3) by Lisa Regan - I'm not sure why more people who like the police procedural thrillers aren't reading this series. They're very good. Philly library paperback   Buy

Her Final Confession (Josie Quinn #4) by Lisa Regan - Same goes. Philly library paperback    Buy

The Water Dancer by Ta-Nehisi Coates - Stunning writing, a beautiful story born from generations of pain. Dialogue was stilted in parts but I attribute that to a soaring power writer being new-ish at fiction (ish because I don't know if there have been other fiction writings). Magical realism at work too. Free ARC from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review   Pre-order, book comes out September 24

Lady in the Lake by Laura Lippman - I love her writing, and that was definitely true with this book. While I was reading it, I was thinking it is not a book for everyone...more of a slow burn, and the narration will annoy some people. OCNJ library hardcover   Buy

The Heart's Invisible Furies by John Boyne - This big mama book was funny and beautiful and fucking heart breaking on numerous fronts - women in the world, homosexuality, love, religion, repression, shame. Generally I am not a fan of long books - this one is 480 pages - but man it was worth it. OCNJ library paperback    Buy

Passed the Time Just Fine

Never Have I Ever by Joshilyn Jackson - Solid read, interesting premise, lots of dots to connect. I love how she writes women. OCNJ library hardcover  Buy

Someone We Know by Shari LaPena - Like every LaPena book I read, I am very into it when I read it so it would be in the previous category, but when I have a day or two to look back on it, it ends up  in this one. Lots of stuff going on in this book, not all of it necessary. OCNJ library hardcover  Buy

Park Avenue Summer by Renee Rosen - I didn't love this fictionalized account of Helen Gurley Brown taking over the helm at Cosmo, but I liked it much  more than I thought I would. Philly library hardcover

A Merciful Death (Mercy Kilpatrick #1) by Kendra Eliot - This had an unusual element that was very interesting on top of the standard FBI fare. Amazon kindle e-book

Not Worth It

The Inn by James Patterson & Candice Fox - I remember many James Ps (solo and co-authored) that were deliciously sinister. This has sinister stuff for sure, but the way he wrote the male lead and the way he writes Michael Bennett in those books is very off-putting to me. OCNJ library hardcover

The Last Post by Renee Carlino - This ain't it, Renee, and you know it based on other stuff you've put out. Free ARC from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review

Did Not Finish

The Perfect Wife by JP Delaney - Disappointing, I liked his other stuff. This book is fucking outrageous on premise alone and pissed me off by page two. Fuck off with this. OCNJ library hardcover

Careful What You Wish For by Hallie Ephron - I hate weak, one dimensional female characters who ignore reality. That was evident less than 20 pages in. Next. OCNJ library hardcover

Keep This to Yourself by Tom Ryan - I read halfway through this and was very hesitant to sit down with it so I stopped. Pages were turning but the story was not advancing. Philly library hard cover
The Off-Islander (An Andy Roark Mystery #1) by Peter Colt - Woosah. This was my "I will not be providing feedback" note to Netgalley: This was painful to read, the dialogue in particular. People don't speak without using contractions. It is stiff and formal and stilted and disrupts the reading flow completely. I couldn't get past 14%. Universe, get this book an editor, stat...especially if you mean for it to be a series.  Anyone out there leaving nicer than normal reviews because they gave it to you for free to read, stop. Don't be a nitpicky asshole but if you can't finish something or dislike something, say it. Free ARC from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review

What have you been reading? 
Linkup Guidelines:
This link up is the second Tuesday of every month. The next linkup is October 8, 2019 
1. Visit and comment with both of your hosts, Jana & me, and check in with as many in our reading circle as you can - give some love to the later linker uppers! 
2. Link back to us in your blog post - if you want the button you can get it from that link

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!
Click here to enter

Monday, September 9, 2019

TWTW - the one hot off of vacation

Thursday Was mostly reading and laying around and it was awesome. I very rarely do that. When MFD returned from fishing we took the dogs to Dog Beach, then used a gift card for dinner at Jon & Patty's, rode bikes on the boardwalk, got Kohr Bros and candy from Shriver's, and ended the night at the laundromat. 
Friday Dawned damp and cold, but we didn't get the rain we were expecting from Dorian. We made an attempt at Dog Beach that lasted five minutes due to blowing sand and filled the rest of the day with lounging, reading, nails and toes (OPI Made it to the Seventh Hill! on both), and snoozing before walking to the beach to see the angry surf. We cleaned up the main house for returning weekend guests coming in Saturday-Monday instead of Friday-Sunday and tried a new Mexican restaurant, El Guacamole, a block from us. 

Saturday MFD went over to see his mom and I cleaned up, did a final walk through of upstairs, made shower spray, did a little work work to prepare for back to work on Monday, and figured out what the hell I need to do at home this week before I come back here Tuesday night. I went to the beach from 12:30-5. MFD met me down there at 3 and we checked out the classic cars.

Home to walk and feed the dogs, then off to the North End where he fished and I read and we saw a lovely sunset. Home for showers and early to bed. 

Sunday  I lolled around in bed until almost 8:30, got up and changed the sheets with MFD, then we went to Dog Beach for about a half hour.
MFD went fishing and I did some work. The green head flies were out so I bagged the beach entirely and cleaned before packing up the car and heading home with the dogs. Perfect timing traffic-wise. I dropped the dogs off, got wash going, went to Target to return cushions, then on to Redner's for some groceries. Target was a cluster due to renovations and Redner's cashier voided my order AFTER it was all rung up. Not pleased. I made it back home without being a bitch to anyone, continued with laundry, smoked my house out during food prep, changed the sheets, peeled the top of my index finger off, and called it a damn day. 

Weekly food prep: Granola with greek yogurt and a side of banana for breakfast. Scrambled eggs with broccoli and sauteed mushrooms for lunch. Snacks are carrots and nectarines. Dinners are baked chicken thighs (bone in skin on because they were half the price of boneless/skinless) and a kale salad thing. It came from a bag. 

Tomorrow is Show Us Your Books! See you back here for that. 

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