Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Shit MFD Said Vol 14


As he's bagging up Christmas cookies in a small sandwich bag at Dad & Carol's
Me: What's that for? Why don't you use a big bag?
Carol: Take a big bag. 
MFD: These are my emergency cookies.
Me: For what sort of emergency?
MFD: I don't know. Any kind. They'll be in my car. 
Me: Emergency cookies. Hmm.
Dad hands him a large bag and he fills that one too

MFD: Do you think if you did the balance beam every day your balance would get better?
Me: I don't know. Maybe. I guess so.
MFD: I'm going to do it tomorrow.
He does not do it tomorrow or any day thereafter.

Watching Jenny McCarthy on New Year's Eve.
MFD: Now back to Jennifer Asshole!
She will be known as Jennifer Asshole forever because it was too good

Our New Year's Day tradition begins with MFD roaming the house after 1 a.m. looking for shit he needs for the Mummers Parade, cursing like the father in A Christmas Story when he's battling the furnace and saying
MFD:  Where the F would that be?

In bed, in sweatshirts due to heater that stopped working at 8 p.m. Outside temp: 8 degrees. Inside temp: 54
MFD: Well, your dream has finally come true! It's 54 degrees in our house in the winter! 
Me: Thermostat Wars fail. 
MFD: When it's cold in the house I close my eyes and pretend it's warm out. Do you feel the sun?
Me: No.



 photo purple_zpse5f7f916.png
All read and approved by MFD before they go live...
Shit MFD Said Vol 1Shit MFD Said Vol 2Shit MFD Said Vol 3Shit MFD Said Vol 4
Shit MFD Said Vol 5Shit MFD Said Vol 6Shit MFD Said Vol 7Shit MFD Said Vol 8
Shit MFD Said Vol 9Shit MFD Said Vol 10Shit MFD Said Vol 11, Shit MFD Said Vol 12, Shit MFD Said Vol 13

Linking up with Shanna 

40 comments:

  1. emergency cookies....interesting...and brilliant. now that's what i call forward thinking! :D

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  2. At least once a week, the day usually begins with Scott looking for work-related items he just can't find.

    Man, I hope your heater is fixed soon!

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  3. I love Shit MFD Said, cracks me up every time. Now as for this heater shit? I do not envy you in the least my friend. Any idea when someone can come back out?

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  4. Emergency cookies! Only that wouldn't work for me. The emergency would be every time I remembered that the bag was there.

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  5. He cracks me up! Emergency cookies! Brilliant! How long do they really last though? Hope the heater gets fixed soon.

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  6. Love the emergency cookies, I may have to steal that idea ;-)

    Is the heater fixed now?

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  7. LOL do you feel the sun?? And everyone needs emergency cookies in their car, duh!

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  8. I think I need to steal his ideas of the "emergency cookies". LOL

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  9. What? The emergency cookies are important! What if he has a craving and can't find the big bag...at least the smaller is small enough to stay with him all the time!

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  10. Yes, I need emergency cookies too!

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  11. Love how people know that certain things should be on the blog! And emergency cookies are a pretty good idea although they might be frozen ones this time of year.

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  12. The balance beam... I am going to do it tomorrow. I love it!!! And emergency cookies... I could see that becoming a thing.

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  13. Love it!!! I agree on Jennie Mccarthy. I am all for emergency supplies in my car!! Food, water, blankets, sneakers, coat, hat ,gloves, phone charger. Jmj on the heat situation. Lights to get it fixed today.
    Love, your Momma

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  14. Lmao! This is hilarious - esp the small baggie one, it's just priceless!! "DO you see the sun?" LOl holy crap that's too funny. Emergency cookies though? I have to say it's pretty clever although, not the healthiest option but you never know when you need your "crack" fix. :) Happy Hump Day Stephanie! -Iva

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  15. If I haven't said it before I'll say it now - these are my favorite posts!! The Balance Beam - priceless! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

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  16. Vol 14?! Wow! Also, Jennifer McCarthy line made me laugh! So did the emergency cookies - holla!

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  17. These are my favorite posts!! The emergency cookies sounds like something I would do!

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  18. haha i love these! And the balance beam gives you balance? Who would thought! hehe he's hilarious!

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  19. Emergency cookies..I like the way he thinks!

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  20. your heater is STILL broken? OH MY GOODNESS! I am so sorry! Maybe those emergency cookies will make you warmer?

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  21. Ha Ha! I love that last one with the chicken! My husband also keeps a stash of "emergency" treats in his car. When it's candy, he fails to clean up the wrappers thrown all over the back seat. (His garbage pail)

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  22. bahaha i would love to be his facebook friend. and i love the emergency cookie idea. And the balance beam??? that's great.

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  23. I so need to have emergency cookies! Great idea!!

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  24. The emergency cookie stash definitely seems necessary. I might have to look into it.

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  25. Emergency cookies sounds like a brilliant idea to me...

    Isaiah asks me questions ALL THE TIME that I may or may not know the answer to, just because he doesn't want to look them up. HILARIOUS. Sigh.

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  26. so do you want to have it cold in the winter? is that your thermostat wars? i like the warmth but my mother in law keeps it so hot in her house that you have to wear a tshirt and shorts in the middle of winter, and KC was very much like that until I showed him the electricity bill, and now he keeps it on like 62 or something, but he keeps inching it up and i'm just like go wrap yourself in a blanket! geeeez. and in summer, he has it on 80 and he's sweating and saying that he's doing this for me and i'm like excuse me i'd rather it be turned off completely and be 100 degrees in here. i'm cold at 80, so if you are uncomfortable knock it down, i'm gonna be cold either way. but just don't bitch at me when the bill comes lol.
    anyway i rambled way too much about our thermostat wars. i am definitely going to call her jennifer asshole from now on, it seems fitting.

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  27. I could use a bag of emergency cookies.

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  28. My thoughts at the end of this post "So you have a balance beam in your house just sitting there?" haha

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  29. hahaha oh MFD. I love that Facebookers even know that he needs regular 'shit MFD says' posts.
    I looooove the Jennifer Asshole one. She annoys me so much.

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  30. My favorite: "Do you feel the sun?" I would've lost it hahaha

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  31. Of course, why would he know where anything is? Including his own stuff...

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  32. Jennifer asshole! LOL. My brother and I call each other names as a term of endearment. My mom hated it so it only made us want to do it more because it was funny and as adults we still do it.

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  33. Can you feel the sun?? My favorite.

    I also think that emergency cookies sound like a great idea!

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  34. First of all, where would he stand and balance on said balance beam...do you guys own one? Ha! And emergency cookies sound good to me...smart man!

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  35. "Do you feel the sun?" Bahahaha! I wish I could live a day inside of his brain.
    Emergency cookies... that's just responsible thinking right there!

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  36. Where was this balance beam he was going to use. I witnessed him getting a emergency cookie bag together and could not find a single negative about said bag.

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  37. officially making emergency cookies a thing!!! you never know...

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  38. Everyone needs emergency cookies!!!

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