Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Shit MFD Said: Vol 33


MFD: Steph, I want to get a hamster.
Me: A what?
MFD: A hamster.
Me: No.
MFD: Why not?
Me: One dog shit all over the house today and another cost a little less than a mortgage payment at the vet tonight and you want a hamster?
MFD: Mmm hmm. And a bird.

Me: If I die before you, no funeral. Cremate me, no receiving line, just a nice luncheon. No service. I will provide a soundtrack.
MFD: Will there be fart noises?
Me: What?
MFD: On the soundtrack...will we be eating and it'll just be a bunch of fart noises playing?

While watching COPS
MFD: This looks like a B&E.
Me: Is that breaking and entering for those of us not in law enforcement?
MFD: It is. You might also know it as home invasion. 

Me: Don't ride their ass because you're not where you want to be.
MFD: I'm fine where I am. It's you.
Me: It is. We're off my sunrise schedule.
MFD: Now I know you haven't seen a sunrise yet this summer...
Me: They're all different.
MFD: But they happen every day. We're going to see a WHALE. That never happens. 
Me: It'll be whale of a tale if you get a ticket.
MFD: A hurr.

MFD: Steph, would you be able to use The Force?
Me: Where?
MFD: I don't know. Anywhere.
Me: Not right now. Could you?
MFD: I think so. Yes.

Me: I haven't even heard anyone upstairs.
MFD: I know.
Me: Are they not walking around? 
MFD: Maybe they levitate.

MFD: Remember that long eyelash I had last year?
Me: No.
MFD: You don't? You picked it out.
Me: Nope.
MFD: Well, he's back. Or he has a brother.
Me: Say it again?
MFD: He's back. Or he has a brother.
Me: Ah. That's what I thought you said.

We don't typically exchange anniversary cards or gifts, but he chose a hilarious one this year that is straight true (aside from sweetie...that word has never been uttered in our house aside from me saying Sweetie Darling like Pats). Anyone who has driven with him will appreciate this too.





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All read and approved by MFD before they go live...
Shit MFD Said Vol 1Shit MFD Said Vol 2Shit MFD Said Vol 3Shit MFD Said Vol 4
Shit MFD Said Vol 5Shit MFD Said Vol 6Shit MFD Said Vol 7Shit MFD Said Vol 8
Shit MFD Said Vol 9Shit MFD Said Vol 10Shit MFD Said Vol 11, Shit MFD Said Vol 12, Shit MFD Said Vol 13, Shit MFD Said Vol 14, Shit MFD Said Vol 15, Shit MFD Said Vol 16, Shit MFD Said Vol 17, Shit MFD Said Vol 18, Shit MFD Said Vol 19, Shit MFD Said Vol 20, Shit MFD Said Vol 21, Vol 22, Vol 23, Vol 24, Vol 25, Vol 26, Vol 27, Vol 28, Vol 29, Vol 30, Vol 31, Vol 32



30 comments:

  1. Very entertaining, as always. I know this isn't an awesome comment, but I still wanted to share I was entertained by the fun and games of MFD and SMD.

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  2. omg that card hahahaha that is KC and I for sure. he's a nutter on the road as well. and we don't say sweetie. my next door neighbours had a dog named sweetie when i was a kid, so that's weird.
    i laughed so hard at 'It'll be whale of a tale if you get a ticket'. and the long eyelash hahaha.

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  3. Aww love these posts. That card is hilarious and so true!! I LOLed at the eyelash comment...I mean, how can you not remember that from LAST YEAR? hahaha.

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  4. I think these might be my favorite ones yet...especially the force. And the hamster.

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  5. Omg.. the funeral luncheon soundtrack. I'm dyeeeeeing!!!!

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  6. A soundtrack for a funeral luncheon!! HAHAHA, that totally rocks. That card is so funny.

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  7. HAHAHAHA i'm glad i'm not the only one shouting things when in the car...but most of mine is "Get out of this lane! that guy is driving too slow!"

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  8. As always these were great. I certainly enjoy Shit MFD says.

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  9. Hahaha, that "The Force" conversation is hilarious :) Also the hamster one- although in our house it'd be me saying I wanted more pets. Haha!

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  10. I need that anniversary card. I am such a pain in the ass to my husband when we drive. I say "Careful" so much that my two year old says, "Be Careful Daddy!" Whenever we get into the car. Oops!

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  11. That's a great card! I love that his long lash potentially has a brother.

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  12. Excellent. Definitely in the top ten! May the Force always be with us. Great card! So happy quotes for this came from your splendid weekend! Many more to come !
    Love. Your. Momma.

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  13. That card was perfect coming from him and LOL at providing a soundtrack - hilarious!

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  14. Perfect card :)
    I think every man wants to think they can use The Force
    What spur on the want for a hamster?... I gotta know

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  15. Pretty sure Mae would eat the hamster. Might want to nix that idea, MFD...

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  16. Oh I could definitely use The Force right now. Or I definitely wish I could.
    The funeral luncheon soundtrack is too funny. That sounds like something my husband would say. You've never too old for poop & fart humor.

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  17. The funeral one and the levitating one--too funny! Also, NO HAMSTER!!! Tell him he's not a 10 year old little boy lol. I lived with a girl who had a hamster at 25 years old. She also let it loose around our apartment and I found hamster shit in my bathroom. Let me tell you, that was a fun experience....

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  18. hahahahaha why cant he have a hampster? I am sure Mae would be besties with it, obviously. A whale of a tale LOL!!! That is something Chris or I would say and crack up about too. I need to learn how to levitate. And that card cracks me up. He is in real estate right? I swear I have never met an agent or broker that can drive.

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  19. ewwwww a hamster? noooo! pure gold, as always.

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  20. That is hilarious, and I am on your side with the hamster. Every time we go to Petsmart I hope that my kid does not one day ask me for a hamster. I've had one and it was a nightmare. Love these conversations. And I will definitely ask Greg if he thinks he could use the Force. I believe he would say yes.

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  21. I'm laughing about the fart noises during the luncheon. Who thinks of things like that? I love it.

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  22. A whale of a tale indeed! I wish my upstairs neighbor would learn to levitate. She stomps around everywhere and in heels on hardwood floors no less! That card sounds spot on from your stories about his driving skills (or lack thereof)!

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  23. LOL! It's been a long time since I've read one of these posts (or any posts for that matter!) and I picked an excellent day to read. These all had me cracking up. Where does he come up with things like fart noises on a soundtrack?!

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  24. These posts always crack me up. You're sure you're not getting a hamster? :)

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  25. Haha I can't believe that he wants a hamster! That's definitely not a pet that I would have thought a grownup would want! And I tell Chris to cremate me all the time and it freaks him out! I like that MFD asked if there would be fart noises lol!

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  26. This is such a fun post idea! Good luck with the new hamster and bird! Haha
    Evelina @ Fortunate House

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  27. Ha yes one of my favorite blog reads! Always chuckling at this random comments and comebacks. We aren't the "sweetie" type couple either so I get that!

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  28. LOL, the eyelash has a brother. That is why MFD and I can be friends. Because I say shit like that.

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