Friday, February 26, 2021

Friday Five 2.26.2021


1. I've been spent this week at night. Too much time in front of the computer and my body is recovering from the awesome free up in muscle and nerves it's feeling from my acupuncture appointment on Tuesday. The only thing I've done aside from loll on the couch is laundry.

2. I've been in Philly longer than I planned to be and for longer than usual. The old dogs don't mind. Less walking here. Since it's going to rain tomorrow I might just stay until Sunday morning and get a bunch of shit thrown out here, which I've been threatening to do since May 2020 but haven't been around to do. I forgot to bring my vitamins from the shore which bums me out but oh well. 

3. Comfort food, one of thy names is won ton soup.

4. We've been watching the Cecil Hotel thing on Netflix but one or both of us keep falling asleep. 

5. Today would be my mother-in-law's birthday. It's the first one without her, and MFD last saw her around her birthday last year before corona kicked in and we thought after two weeks when we flatten the curve (LOL) we'll move down the shore and take care of her. The plan was then for her to move up here with us through the end of her life but the curve was of course never flattened and the end came a little faster than anyone expected and by April she was no longer with us. Since we did not do the normal funeral, it still feels not exactly real. I'm still expecting her to be in my basement moving shit around puttering like she liked to do. It's been a hard year for MFD & his siblings and us as a family on top of the worldwide hard year. That's true for so many people. Sending love to all. 

It's Friday and I'm really, really happy about it. 



Thursday, February 25, 2021

Thursday Thoughts - getting strong now, won't be long now

1. I was at my office yesterday for the first time since a quick pop in in October. I had to go to the dentist and acupuncturist so I lined them up to do both in one day. Having all of my docs in the city for over 10 years has been amazing to take care of things at lunch or before work. Having all of my docs downtown in a global pandemic when I'm never down there is not as great. I miss the art and signs and little stickers. 

2. I miss seeing things. The little things at my feet and in the sky, through store windows, across the way. In parking garages. Ferris? 

3. I miss walking around noticing how the light is hitting the buildings. It was so nice to do that yesterday when the temps were hovering around 50, ice melt was dripping off roofs, and the sky was wispy. 

4.  I've been feeling buoyed by people getting vaccines despite a difficult to navigate vaccine registration process (hey federal govt, create some fucking jobs where people solely make appointments for others) but seeing the central business district largely quiet almost a year later is still hard. And operating in a semblance of how I used to is exhausting. Businesses there operate based on people coming into town to work. And most of us are still not doing that. Some closed temporarily. Some closed for good. It was a visual reminder that we have a long road ahead to rebuild to any sort of semblance of up and running. 

5. Thanks for indulging my love letter to Philly. I was totally in my feelings about it yesterday. I also saw my niece and nephew, had no cavities which is rare with my trash teeth, and got totally fixed up by the acupuncturist - my last appointment was in October and my sweet spot to maintain mostly pain free is every five to six weeks so that was such a major relief. I am sore today but crazy better. Next time I go back it'll be time to do my whole body skin cancer check so I'll schedule those together. I did not miss the commute - I drove in and it took me a fucking hour to get home due to an accident. MFD ordered chinese and I vegged on the couch and did not a damn thing last night. We started the Cecil Hotel thing but I fell asleep early and stayed that way. Sunset from my brother & Aubrey's, chinese food from my dark living room. 
6. Ben has been playing with his big as him hippo and Mae has been torturing Bruce. Immediately after this photo she pushed him out of the pink princess bed so she could lord over it alone. 

7. I love when light hits things just right. 

8. We are coming to the end of the designated Black History Month and about to begin the designated Women's History Month and this is a reminder that Black History is every month and Women's History is every month and Black History is our history and Women's History is our history. All of ours. 

9. Reminder, via

10. E-cards: 



What appears beyond the hyphen in Thursday Thoughts titles is what I'm listening to when I'm starting this - this week is the theme from Rocky - Gonna Fly Now by Bill Conti





Tuesday, February 23, 2021

More than words, or no words. Same diff.


This weekend on Instagram Alyssa  posted a tweet something about the world being out of things to say and I replied I have absolutely nothing left except things that make me sound like I've eaten a bunch of acid. Like things I'd not normally discuss, or that make little sense, have no importance/aren't even interesting, just going off on tangents about nothing. I've got nothing. Nothing going on, nothing new. I am looking forward to things, but that's not a cure for the same ol' of today. It's also different to carry on a virtual conversation with someone versus being in person and having conversation flow naturally. 

Do I mind being home most of the time? No. However, I do gain inspiration from being out in the world, so I  lack that now and have for quite some time. Many of us draw inspiration from being out in the world and some people probably didn't realize that until this past year. Even the most self-proclaimed anti-social not people persons among us suffer from such limited social interaction and lack of proximity to actual humans in the same space, both strangers to observe and also humans we love and see often. We are not built for so much solitary time, even those of us who love it and prefer it (meeee). When I do see people, I am reminded that I have to learn how to be with people again. Coming up on a year of a life much different than most of us have always lived, the strain is real right now, even from places of privilege. If you are a person who creates or shares content for a living or because you like to personally via blogging or social media, it is not an easy content creation time. It's not just about the creation of actual content - the inspiration, writing, graphics - it's knowing the people you're serving it to aren't that hungry, or they've already eaten that this week. You don't necessarily feel like reading or writing a lot of things and you can definitely feel the mood that people don't feel like receiving them. 

Combine that with hitting the grisly over 500,000 dead from covid in America milestone, all the political and social unrest that's not left us alone and the knowledge of the work ahead to dismantle systems, the frustration over vaccine availability and rollout, the gray and cold and precipitous weather for most of us in the northeast, the devastation in Texas and other southern states from a climate crisis weather event, and it's certainly straight put your head down and get through the day status right now. A more quiet period. A collective period of don't have much to say - not just me, and not just you. Maybe a period where we let that be and don't try to fill silence because we think we have to or should. A break from the constant posting and scrolling and consuming and feeding and scrambling. 

I read this on the Ladies Pass it On facebook page on Saturday and thought yes. Yes. 

You’re not imagining it, nobody seems to want to talk right now.
Messages are brief and replies late.
Talk of catch ups on zoom are perpetually put on hold.
Group chats are no longer pinging all night long.
It’s not you.
It’s everyone.
We are spent.
We have nothing left to say.
We are tired of saying ‘I miss you’ and ‘I cant wait for this to end’.
So we mostly say nothing, put our heads down and get through each day.
You’re not imagining it.
This is a state of being like no other we have ever known because we are all going through it together but so very far apart.
Hang in there my friend.
When the mood strikes, send out all those messages and don’t feel you have to apologise for being quiet.
This is hard.
No one is judging.

Donna Ashworth

Hang in there friends. We're almost through February. The vaccine rollout is happening, albeit not as quickly or as easy to understand as we'd like. We'll be spending more time outside again soon, which made it so much easier to socialize last year. You're all invited to bring a blanket and sit with me on the beach. 


Monday, February 22, 2021

TWTW - the one that felt five minutes long

Friday was a fire drill all from 8 am on, broken up by a delicious grilled cheese. I tore out at 4 to get my eyebrows cleaned up for the first time in 11 months. It felt human and normal. And honestly nice to not worry about my breath since I had the mask on. LOL. I also went into Target for the first time since November I think, I usually order for delivery or do curbside. Of course my first big day out off the island in a while and it was a wintry mix of BS weather so the drive home was not as carefree as I like. When I got back I said fuck it to dishes (aren't we all saying fuck it to dishes right now?) and ate jalapeno poppers on paper plates leftover from Thanksgiving even though for personal use with no  gathering I am anti-paper plates. Aren't these amazing though? Carol found them. 
Saturday I slept in until 9, 8.5 hours of straight sleep that were fucking amazing. After walking the dogs and showering, I cleaned, purged, and organized our apartment. MFD and the old dogs arrived just after noon. We went to the beach and walked down to see the Playland fire. He also found what we think was a fox skull on the beach and wanted to bring it home and hell no.  
 I went to ACME, MFD picked lunch up at Bennie's, and he watched Gold Rush and napped while I read. I made taco meat for dinner, finished my book and started another, and we were all done pretty early.
Sunday No one wanted to get up, which has been a theme on Sundays. I don't mind, I stayed in bed and read. We eventually got up of course, and I finished a book, went to get Gus's CBD, took the best friend dogs to the beach, ate leftovers for lunch and started a new book, threw together dinner (sauteed mushrooms, potatoes in the air fryer, artichokes/chicken/tomatoes/EVOO/balsamic/seasonings in oven), MFD started the small bathroom wall covering project we're doing, and we watched Nomadland.
In the middle of those things, we stopped and did a family sunset walk. Zero out of four dogs respected the order to avoid the tide pools and all four came home wet. My discerning nose detected a hint of spring on the underside of the air, so we've got that going for us.


I guess we're doing this again. Monday. Is it just me or do weekends feel all of an hour long? 

Here we go. 








Saturday, February 20, 2021

Tips for a better night's sleep

If you find it hard to get to sleep at night, you are not alone. In fact, About 70 million people in the United States suffer from sleep disorders. It is a difficult thing, because although you might feel tired, you get into bed and suddenly feel wide awake. You could spend the rest of the night tossing and turning and no matter what you do, unable to get that shut eye you so desperately crave. It could be that your mind is consumed with the day you have just had, particularly if you are in a career such as a criminal defense attorney and have a case to prepare for, or that you are worried about your family. Or your mind just doesn't shut down, which happened to me twice this week. No matter the reason, it is not fun. Luckily, there are a few things that you can do which can help you to have a better night's sleep. Here are just a few things that you can try.

1) Avoid eating or drinking for two hours before you go to bed
While you might be peckish in the evening, try to avoid eating or drinking anything other than water in the run up to your bedtime. This is because your body will be trying to digest your food and can keep you awake. Also, if you have food with sugar in it then it can make you feel jittery and experience a sugar buzz that can keep you awake.

2) Don’t look at a screen before sleeping
By looking at your screen and scrolling through instagram or other apps right before you go to sleep, you are making your mind active and your eyes awake. Instead, it is a good idea to do something that will calm your mind, such as reading a book. This is much calmer on your eyes and soothing to help you sleep.
 
3) Invest in high quality bedding
If your bed is a comfortable haven that you can’t wait to get into each night, you are much more likely to get a good night's sleep. You spend half of your time in your bed after all, so you want it to be something that is really comfortable. Invest in a soft, high quality mattress, pillows and bedding that is just right for you.

4) Do some journaling 
It is a good idea to clear your mind before you go to sleep so you don’t lay awake worrying all evening. You could do some journaling where you write down all your thoughts of the day and what is essentially a “mind dump” physically writing down anything that is stressing you out. This act of just sharing something from your mind can be a good way of clearing it before you sleep.

These are just a few simple ways that you can help yourself to get a better night's sleep. Whether you decide to implement all of them to your routine or just a couple, you are sure to experience the benefits in no time at all. What are some ways that you find to help you sleep at night? Let me know in the comments. 
 


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