Friday, March 22, 2019

Stress should not be our accepted resting state

art via Martina Martian

We are stressing ourselves right the fuck out of enjoying life, do you ever think about that?

I'm not in the business of normalizing being stressed out, overwhelmed, overworked, overbooked. I wish no one normalized that. Can we stop normalizing that?

We've all seen, identified with, felt, or shared this meme:
We can't be all the things all the time and we can't do all the things well all the time. No one is getting a prize for how much they can handle, so what are we even doing to ourselves and what message are we sending to our peers and the little people looking up at us and watching how we live?

Being stressed out tricks us into staying where we think we're needed instead of where we want to be and into putting others before ourselves most of the time. Women especially. We have to do some things, certainly, but we are 100% doing this to ourselves. And we need to stop. We're putting too much pressure on ourselves and it's negatively manifesting itself mentally and physically in all of us. 

What if we all spent just 25% more of our time doing what we want to do (even if that is doing nothing) and being where we want to be? And when we spent that 25% more time doing what we want to do and being where we want to be, we didn't feel the need to explain that or excuse that to anyone? And when we spent 25% more time feeding our souls, that would pay off in being in a better position mentally, physically, and emotionally to handle all the shit life throws at us?

Puffing ourselves up like we're the busiest and omg so stressed is usually just us unconsciously signalling to others that we are important, because doesn't society tell us we are important when we are busy and stressed? That is such bullshit and we've all bought into it. We've not only bought into it, we're teaching it to kids - little kids have fucking anxiety that they don't need to be having at young ages. 

Listen carefully: 

You are important on your own, not just in relation to other people or because you're someone's partner or mom or employee. You are important if you have free time and not much to do right now. You hold value all the time, not just in your busy seasons or when you're making things easier for other people. You are important on the days you don't even look at a to do list let alone accomplish a task. You are important when you're sitting on the couch, not only when you're kicking ass and taking names.

Instead of commiserating over stress, let's bond over finding balance and what we are outside of the things we do for the roles we play in our lives. That's the real me and that's the real you, not how much is on our to do lists.

I hope you have some time to just be this weekend. Enjoy!

Thursday, March 21, 2019

Thursday Thoughts - who will provide the grand design, what is yours and what is mine

1. I see you out there ladies. I'm with you.
2. This looks like a crime scene, but it was a delicious birthday month treat from Gran Caffe L'Aquila near my office: bomboloni with gelato accented with amarena cherries in honor of San Giuseppe-their version of a Zeppole Di San Giuseppe. Delicious.

 3. I am all signed up to walk again on Team Eva the Diva at the March of Dimes event at the end of April. Premature birth affects about 450,000 babies here in the United States, and in April 2014, Eva was one of them, and she is nowhere near alone - quite a few of my friends have had children born prematurely. I'm walking at the March for Babies to get the message out about this terrible problem and if you are inclined to make a donation, that would be awesome. Together we can help the March of Dimes fight prematurity so more babies can get the strongest start possible. Bruce and Bender are going to be walking too.

4. Tommy John sent me some underwear and a tank to try and seriously...the underwear was like not wearing any and the tank was a v in the front and back and felt awesome to wear, like so comfortable it felt close to skin. Both are more than I'd typically pay for either item but after inspection of my undershirts and underwear when I did my Marie Kondo situation a few months back, both are on the replace list and I'm willing to pay a little more to get something that feels good. The packaging made me laugh too. Check out Tommy John's recently launched women's line at https://tommyjohn.com/collections/womens . I'm not really a product pusher especially of underwear but trust me you will not regret it. 
5. In other mail news, super cool to get my friend Rich's book in the mail that I beta read. I'm excited for you Rich! Thank you for trusting me to read it and thank you for sending the copy. It is freaking cool to see your friends published. I know Church Kids is right up the alley of some Show Us Your Books people, so I hope you guys check it out on Amazon.
6. I watched some of that HBO documentary about the insane silicon valley lady with the blood and the fake voice (why can't I just google titles?) but wasn't really into it. Her voice sounded like Jame Gumb from Silence of the Lambs. I am pumped for The Dirt, the Motley Crue biopic that comes out on Netflix Friday. 

7. The City Council At-Large races are heating up here during primary season in Philly. If you’re local and want to chat about candidates, hit me up! The field is huge on the dem side, the most candidates are running since 1983. What’s going on in your local elections and how are you getting involved to make sure your community leadership reflects how you want life to be? 

8. This week in dog town: I'm trying a new dry food (Whole Earth Farms) and CBD oil

9. Reminder:

10. Ecards. You all filling out those office pools?



What appears after the hyphen in Thursday Thoughts is a song lyric to whatever I'm listening to when I start to write the post. This week is The Last Resort by The Eagles

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Running down into the spring that's coming

So I said I'm a snowball running, running down into the spring that's coming all this love 
Melting under blue skies 

Belting out sunlight 

Shimmering love

Welcome, spring. I can't wait for the scenes to unfold like those pictured above from previous springs.

Happy birthday to my uncle Jack today!

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Stories vs Stuff


Few things make me more aware of consumerism than Instagram.

I’m in marketing - I get ads and affiliate links. I like to share what I use and like and I like to see what other people use and like.

I do wonder what we’re promoting in ourselves and others when we are so focused on new things and what to buy or try next. Is it not worthy if it’s not new? Are we never satisfied with what we have? Are we hiding behind our things? Do we have nothing to talk about it we can't say look what I bought? Will we still own these items in two years or are we just churning items through our homes on their way to the landfill? 

My consumer habits are shifting, and I find myself more delighted in people sharing photos in eight year old sweaters than in a new one. Think of how many stories that sweater could tell. 

For me, that is the actual stuff: the stories of us and what we saw and experienced and felt and did in that sweater. The sweater is part of the story, but it’s not The Story. I’m challenging myself to rely less on stuff and show more of the story. Challenging you too if you’re up for it. 


Monday, March 18, 2019

TWTW - the one with the birthday

Thursday night I showered, changed the sheets, packed, and we headed to the shore. A plastic part on the hot water heater did not survive the winter, so surprise! No hot water. But the part is on order and we made it through the winter at the shore relatively unscathed, always a win. 

Friday was my birthday and as usual I took the day off. This year the plan was no plan, and it was awesome. It started at the beach with the gang. 
Favorite WaWa sandwich for breakfast, lounge attire all day, fresh nails (OPI Suzi Will Quechua Later!, $3.99 from Marshalls), lots of beach walks with the dogs, our freaking adopt-a-beach sign that was due last April is finally up, found some sea glass, started a new book, early dinner at the Tuckahoe Inn (fried oysters with chicken salad, key lime pie), groceries, watched the first half of the Umbrella Academy season, and in a house full of things to do, did nothing productive. It was glorious. Except for the Comcast visit in the afternoon to fix the downed internet. Otherwise, sticking with gloriously uneventful just as I wanted it. 

Saturday Sunrise with Bruce & Bender. Bender doesn't really get it. Bruce was like dude, chill, we don't bark and we don't wander. LOL. I don't think Ben is interested in being in the sunrise crew. 
MFD worked and I read, and later we took the dogs to Dog Beach but it was windy AF and they were tired. Outside of the house inspection for screens and siding. I got my car washed for the first time in forever. MFD took a freaking shower with no hot water outside because he's insane. I stuck to the heat water up and wash self inside. Bender is not used to all the shore activity so he was like what is happening but we were all beat - we're much more active at the shore than at home. Dinner at Luigi's (antipasto platter and meatball sandwich). 
We were couch potatoes all night, finishing out Umbrella Academy and I finished the book I was reading. 

Sunday Sunday morning was chilly so Bruce and I went to the beach solo. He was so happy. 

After a quick cleanup, we were on the road home by 10 because MFD had a day of showings. I went to the grocery store to get stuff for dinner, did four loads of laundry, ran and emptied the dishwasher, and started a new book. 

Weekly food prep: breakfast is egg sandwiches on english muffins with cheese. Snacks are kiwis and bananas. I only need three days of lunch so I'll finish out the Italian wedding soup I made and froze last week. Sunday dinner was roasted corned beef so we'll do leftovers of that for a few days then figure out the rest. 



How was your weekend? 

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