Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Shit MFD Said Vol. 13

Nobody puts MFD in a corner
Via text
Me: The basement is a pee and poop apocalypse.
MFD: I hate that.
Me: I stepped in poop. 
MFD: You got turned.
MFD: ha turded
Me: Yes. I got turded.

Transvaginal mesh commercial comes on
MFD: MESH. I have mesh in my vagina. So fucking gross! Nobody wants to hear this.

Walking in the door
MFD: What are you, a lumberjack? 
Me: It's called buffalo check.
MFD: What is? 
Me: The pattern. It's called buffalo check. MFD: And lumberjack too.
Buffalo check. AKA lumberjack.
Lots of whisper cursing in bathroom, 11 p.m.
Me: What the hell is going on in there?
MFD: Trying to get an ingrown hair in my neck. It's in deep. It's like they retreat. Can they do that? 
Me: I don't know, Mike.

Watching some Rocky
MFD: Sorry, but Talia Shire was hot. When I was little I thought she was ugly. I guess because she played an ugly character, you know? 
Me: Mmm
MFD: Don't you think she's pretty? 
Me: Mmm

In the midst of decorating for Christmas
The balls went up before the lights, which led to...
MFD: These lights are WRONG! Can you come help me with these balls in my face? 
Me: hahahahaha. Hahahaha. hahahahhahahahahahaaha.
Later
Me: These dogs hate Christmas because their house is torn apart.
MFD: I don't really care. Muttering I'll make these freaking lights work!
See how genius I am with the balls? See also MFD's middle finger.
On deck, first day of the cruise
MFD: Steph, I see why these bathing suits didn't sell. It's kind of see through. 
Me: No it's not. Well, maybe a little.
MFD: I'll save it for Serenity Bay.
Me: Because nudity is okay there?

Waiting in line for the monorail
MFD: Look! 20% off! (shows me phone)
Me: 20% off what? 
MFD: Groupons. 
Me: Oh my God with the Groupons. Put the phone away! 

Sitting on a stone in the Pirates of the Caribbean line
MFD: Perfect thing to sit down and fart on! 

Getting his bag checked at EPCOT after building droids at Hollywood Studios. Woman opens the bag 

****************
Haikuesday
My brain is foggy.
Post-vacation thoughts askew.
Spotlight on real life. 
****************
 photo purple_zpse5f7f916.png
All read and approved by MFD before they go live...
Shit MFD Said Vol 1Shit MFD Said Vol 2Shit MFD Said Vol 3Shit MFD Said Vol 4
Shit MFD Said Vol 5Shit MFD Said Vol 6Shit MFD Said Vol 7Shit MFD Said Vol 8
Shit MFD Said Vol 9Shit MFD Said Vol 10Shit MFD Said Vol 11, Shit MFD Said Vol 12,


The Hump Day Blog Hop

36 comments:

  1. "Those aren't the Droids you are looking for..." HAHAHAHAHA! That is absolutely the best.

    I need a buffalo check/lumberjack shirt in my life, stat.

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  2. Buffalo plaid reminds me of the patterns of stadium blankets my parents had when I was little. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet.
    Last year, Scout hated the Christmas tree. This year, neither of the dogs even seem to notice it. They do get very irritated when we start moving furniture around though.

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  3. "MFD: Those aren't the Droids you're looking for." <---- OMFG I DIE!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

    love the lumberjack look because it's canadian fashion, duh.

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  4. hahahah "those aren't the droids you are looking for" how many times in you life do you every think you'll get the chance to SERIOUSLY say that?!? MFD for the win!!!

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  5. Haha Serenity Bay!!! And those mesh commercials always skeeve me out too... here here MFD!

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  6. Perfect thing to fart on?!?! Bahahahaha he's hilarious!

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  7. Haha! Lumberjack plaid! Balls in his face, I could not contain my laughter! Seriously "those aren't the droids you are looking for" is the best one! That would ever work anywhere else.

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  8. I'm not sure if the balls in the face or the the lumberjack are my favorite. I had no idea it had another name other than plaid or lumberjack, lol!!

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  9. The man is a goof
    (you should keep a recorder)
    His words are like gold.

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  10. HAAAA "these balls are in my face"...I love that one!! And the perfect thing to fart on is a gem too. He is so funny, he should do a "one line a day" blog!

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  11. LOL at balls in his face. I love Groupon. There have been far too many times when I've either come close to, or actually bought, something just because it was a good deal even if I didn't want/need it at the moment.

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  12. My husband would totally say something like the lumberjack thing, ugh. And those mesh commercials are TMI and also confusing... why are they on ESPN so often?

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  13. OMG the bit about your bathing suit is too funny!! Hope you have a great Tuesday!! xo, Biana BlovedBoston

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  14. MFD and his groupons crack me up every time! It is a little lumberjack, I have to agree with him...

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  15. These are always my favorite!! That's one funny husband you've got there!

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  16. haha I want to hang out with you guys. mesh in my vagina GROSS

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  17. Haha! My husband calls me lumberjack every time I wear plaid this year! "These aren't the droids you're looking for.." Classic line! I would laugh so hard I'd probably be detained under suspicion of insanity....

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  18. The Droids awesome!!! The perfect rock to sit & fart on!!! I was saying the same thing in my head about his obsession with Group on!

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  19. Haha @ his balls in my face comment and that sneaky little finger. The end product looks fabulous though!

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  20. The Droids comment seems to be the crowd winner, but I'm a fan about the balls in his face. Love me some MFD

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  21. LOL-- so many good ones this round!! :) Just the laughs I needed.

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  22. I'm a Buffalo Check - - and I'm okay - - - Yeah, it is very Lumber Jack - - but I still dig it!

    Also:
    "Those are not the Droids you are looking for" - - I can't - I just spit out water. SUPER funny

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  23. OMG the droids comment! hilarious. he's so witty and on the ball lol. i always think of things like that well after the fact.
    totally had to google Talia Shire and my husband has made that retreating comment about ingrown hairs hahaha

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  24. OMG the last comment! Gold. Pure gold! I'm so jealous about your Disney trip. Love the photos from it the other day.

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  25. Haha about sitting down and farting.

    These always crack me up.

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  26. Things to fart on, balls in my face, lumberjack. LOL! This is really good stuff. Not to mention that his ingrown hair retreated at 11PM!!! LOL. That is def something I can relate to hearing at my house.

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  27. ha this is perfect. balls in the face and the MESH ones are my fave ha.

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  28. HAHAHHAHAHAH... "perfect thing to sit down and fart on." A man after my own heart!

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  29. my comment got eaten yesterday!
    Our Mike Doyle provides much love and laughter!
    Love Your Momma

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  30. I'm a fan of the lumberjack look. And balls in his face? I hope that one got repeated often.

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  31. Can you help with these balls in my face, and the laughing.

    Lumberjack is the latest style!

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  32. I totally read this in bed at 4 a.m. and had to stifle my laughter. I can't tell you how many questions I answer with "I don't know, John..." Almost always to some asinine question.

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  33. Lumberjack! You have to tell MFD that you're just keeping up with current trends. Metrosexual is over, it's all about the lumbersexual now. He needs to grow a beard and get a buffalo check jacket!

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  34. hahah I agree nobody wants to hear about mesh in a vagina!! and I about dies when I read "and lumberjack too" because he is so right. How do you even know what the pattern is called!

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  35. The droids. That was my favorite. Plus, it was totally something Justin would have said and then laughed about the rest of the day.

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