Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Shit MFD Said: Vol 17


After Gus got sick
Me: What's he doing?
MFD: Sniffing around.
20 seconds later
Me: What's he doing now?
MFD: Writing a novel.

Me: Bowling alleys are weird.
Mfd: Do you think Michael's out here jumping cars?
Me: Who?

MFD: Singing Cool Rider. 

At dinner with friends
MFD: What kind of cream soda do you have?
Waitress: It's in a bottle.
MFD:  What's the brand? Do you have root beer?
Waitress: I can go back and look.
Me: Don't make her go back and look.
MFD: Well I like a certain brand of root beer! If it's Stewart's okay, if not, I don't want it. I need time. Can you get what he needs and come back?

Waitress leaves and comes back.
Waitress: Good news, we do have the kind of root beer you like.
MFD: I'll have the cream soda.
Everyone at the table: seriously/what/hahaha

Driving away from Target

MFD: That took too long.
Me: Because I had to look for you for 15 minutes! 
MFD: You were lost not me.
Me: No! I was looking for something and I looked up and you had disappeared.
MFD: No.
Me: Yes!
MFD: Oh, right after the great golden turtle episode. Yes. Poof.

his phone was dead in the car the whole time, making contacting him impossible in the store

Looking at Balenciaga shoes online in bed. Why, I don't know.
MFD: Look at these Balenciaga shoes.
Me: Are you on groupon?
MFD: No. after a long pause Balenciaga makes handbags too, Steph.
Me: No shit, Mike.
MFD: What do you mean no shit?
Me: It means I knew that.
MFD: Derr. long pause Damn I should've gone into the shoe design business. These things are ugly as fuck.

Me: I saw you outside looking longingly at Mister Softee.
MFD: forlornly I know.

Out to eat, he drops chopsticks and continually plays with a Japanese soda bottle with a marble in it.

Me: Really? Please!
MFD: I know. It's like being on a date with a kid. You're on a date with Josh. Oh, you're the lady in Big. 

Me: This is stupid.
MFD: It's Anne Boleyn! You love her! 
Me: I don't know her. 

34 comments:

  1. The creamsicle / root beer incident is just too funny! i'm pretty impressed with his knowledge of designers! xo, Biana - BlovedBoston

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  2. I can't even express to you how much I love these posts. And the Target thing...YES! Our walmart back in Buies Creek was a cell phone dead zone. I actually had to ban J from coming with me because every single time we went, he got lost. EVERY SINGLE TIME. He just...disappears! I had to call him over the intercom TOO MANY TIMES.

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  3. Ahahaha, the root beer/cream soda convo! These are always my fave posts!

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  4. Oh em gee, the lost-in-a-store thing. I get so angry when I have to CALL Scott when we're at Wal-Mart and walk all over the place looking for him.
    Going with what Joey said there, our Wal-Mart in Wasilla was a dead-zone for cell service. I've never made use of the intercom though. Should've.

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  5. I am crying. Between the Balenciaga, to the cream soda (I hope he tipped her well!), the Gus comment... writing a novel. I love you two! And really, you are married to Josh!

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  6. hahahaha get to know Anne Boleyn - love it. And oh my gosh, the lady from Big. & Mister Softee. Now I want a Mister Softee. Yum. MFD is hilarious!

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  7. LOL that always happens to me as well - i'm looking at something and when i look up, my husband has wandered away and then texts me with WHERE ARE YOU. wtf, in the same damn aisle where you came from!!!!

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  8. Love all of this. It takes a quick mind to think this stuff up! Very funny!!

    Carpe Diem this beautiful day!

    Love, Your Momma

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  9. MFD has a point - super expensive things are always the ugliest. And I totally relate to being on a date with a kid. Anytime there is something to fidget with, my husband will find it!

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  10. hahaahaha! Thanks for the laugh.

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  11. Gus totally should write a book.

    I refuse to take John to Target with me. I make him wait in the car if I have to run in for something.

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  12. My husband does the cream soda/root beer thing - with actually beer. It's all about brewery to him - It's such a pain in the ass to order drinks with him.

    I'm with MFD on the shoe thing - some shoes are just really ugly as sin

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  13. Hahahahahah and just like that Cool Rider is stuck in my head!!! And ummm trying to decide between Root Beer and Cream Soda is a huge decision, don't you know?

    We need to look in to Gus writing a book. Though, I think maybe Geege should right one about the other two fools :)

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  14. I can relate to the having to find the husband in Target or any store. Mine wanders off and either never has his phone or he doesn't hear me calling. Then I'm the idiot walking around the whole store looking for him, totally infuriated.
    You should have him sketch some shoe designs and post them...that would be so funny!

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  15. I love him! Seriously jokes for days!! The waitress one is why they spit in food! Come on MFD!!

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  16. I would totally read Gus' novel lol, and it sounds like he wanted the cream soda all along he just made the poor waitress work for it :-P

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  17. SHUT UP!!!!! MFD is my new blogger husband BFF!!! Any man that knows Cool Rider and Grease 2 has my heart!! LOL!!

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  18. I never get writing a novel Tyson's ever ready reply is riding a bike.

    How do they disappear so fast at stores? What I don't get is mine is usually the tallest thing in the store and I can still never find him.

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  19. Hahahha! One of my fave versions yet! The cream soda/root beer scenario is too funny!

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  20. The cream soda and root beer incident is hilarious! I think I would have had the same reaction as everyone else at the table. LOL @ the Target conversation as well.

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  21. LOL at get to know Anne Boleyn! So many great movie character references in your conversations. My kind of people!

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  22. Writing a novel.... love it. Why do men insist on separating in the stores, never works out and wastes more time! Ugh... my kids adore the marble in the Japanese sprite so I feel your pain.

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  23. hahaha the cream soda one got me. that is too funny. also, writing a novel. he's a witty one!

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  24. I kinda just fell in love with MFD for making a Grease 2 reference.

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  25. MFD wins all due to Grease Two Reference!!!

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  26. haha!! Oh MFD, you're my favorite. I think the root beer debacle is the best one.

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  27. I have to say these posts are some of my favorite. Sounds like there is never a dull moment!

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  28. So much win here. Particularly with Gus writing a novel. And I'm with him on root beer types.... But no cream soda.

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  29. hahaha whats he doing now - writing a novel. His sarcasm is golden!

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