Me: There are creepy killer clowns in this neighborhood, you know. It was on the neighborhood Facebook page. Sightings from last night.
MFD: You don't know what I was doing after you went to sleep.
Me: Don't even joke. This is so fucked up. Fucking creep clowns. When I go to Target today I'm getting a bat. Do you need anything from Target?
MFD: Can you get me a clown costume?
Me: I just wanted to note that I noticed you emptied the dishwasher and washed dishes yesterday without asking for compliments.
MFD: Give me compliments. Give me compliments.
Me: I want to donate $1000 to the library next year.
MFD: What do you get for that, a free library card?
Me: Ho ho ho. Very funny.
MFD: Here. I got you debate snacks.
MFD: They're the puffs
Me: Oh, okay. Oh I get it.
MFD: Get what?
Me: Did you get me these because I call trump Cheeto Jesus?
MFD: No...but it looks like I made a fitting snack choice.
Me: Why are you drinking out of a plastic jug?
MFD: I don't know. Why not?
Me: So stereotypical Philly, yo I'm drinking out of my Wawa jug.
MFD: My drink game is on fleek.
MFD: Are your shoes on fleek?
Me: Nothing here is on fleek.
MFD: What do you think about trump supporters wanting to repeal the 19th Amendment?
Me: Have you ever heard the saying don't poke the bear?
MFD: It's fun.
MFD: I can't find our house nail clippers.
Me: We're going to Target after this, you can get some.
MFD: I was going to stop and get some.
Me: I can't believe you talked to me about nail clippers just now. We've been over this.
MFD: I had to.
Hours later yelling up the stairs
Me: If it's political, I don't want to hear it. I'm full up right now.
MFD: It's not but it might be just as bad...where are the nail clippers?
MFD: We just bought them a few hours ago!
Me: I am not entertaining this line of questioning.
All read and approved by MFD before they go live...
Shit MFD Said Vol 1, Shit MFD Said Vol 2, Shit MFD Said Vol 3, Shit MFD Said Vol 4
Shit MFD Said Vol 5, Shit MFD Said Vol 6, Shit MFD Said Vol 7, Shit MFD Said Vol 8
Shit MFD Said Vol 9, Shit MFD Said Vol 10, Shit MFD Said Vol 11, Shit MFD Said Vol 12, Shit MFD Said Vol 13, Shit MFD Said Vol 14, Shit MFD Said Vol 15, Shit MFD Said Vol 16, Shit MFD Said Vol 17, Shit MFD Said Vol 18, Shit MFD Said Vol 19, Shit MFD Said Vol 20, Shit MFD Said Vol 21, Vol 22, Vol 23, Vol 24, Vol 25, Vol 26, Vol 27, Vol 28, Vol 29, Vol 30, Vol 31, Vol 32, Vol 33