Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Shit MFD Said Vol 7

Opening a sandwich from Wawa
MFD: Seriously! No one can cut sandwiches? Look at this big dumper. 

Watching Murder in the First
MFD: I hate that hairstyle, poofy up top and flat in the back. It's like ooh I'm a big dinosaur head. It's stupid. Don't you think?
Me: What?

Watching The First 48
MFD: You know, Lifetime's not as corny of a channel as it used to be. It's got some good stuff.
Me: I know! 
MFD: Oh wait. This is A&E. Never mind. Lifetime is still corny.
Me: Damn.

Driving to Hersheypark
MFD: Steph, look, the Hershey Highway.
Me: It's called Cocoa Ave...for a reason.
MFD: Hershey Highway!
Me: So I turn right onto the Hershey Hi... damnit Cocoa Ave?
MFD: You said Hershey Highway.
Me: No! No.
MFD: You said it. I heard it.

Doing the wave for the fifth time at the Bruno Mars concert
MFD: Oh my god when is it going to stop? We might as well be in the ocean.
After the eighth time
MFD: They don't stop. These people do not stop.
1:40 am, in bed
Me: What is that crunch?
MFD: This peach is hard. 
Me: You're freaking eating up here?
MFD: Not juicy.
1 min later
MFD: This peach is good.
Me: Another one?
MFD: Yes.
Me: Both in bed. Really.
MFD: Mmm.

Somewhere in CT on the way home from Salem:
MFD: So I didn't bring enough underwear this weekend. 
Me: So a typical trip for you. 
MFD: Yep.

Seen on my Facebook news feed. I cannot escape MFD and the freaking Groupon:

************************
Haikuesday
More eating in bed
means sunrise bedside peach pits.
Well...no crumbs I guess?
************************

 photo purple_zpse5f7f916.png
All read and approved by MFD before they go live...
Shit MFD Said Vol 1
Shit MFD Said Vol 2
Shit MFD Said Vol 3
Shit MFD Said Vol 4
Shit MFD Said Vol 5
Shit MFD Said Vol 6


37 comments:

  1. OMG that gold chain is too much!! He cracks me up! The Cocoa Ave/Hersey Highway is priceless. He Jedi mind tricked you!! Dude, no eating in bed!!!!

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  2. I've noticed a trend that he makes a habit of eating in bed, ha!

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  3. He only eats in bed now so you'll write about it in this post. :)

    A typical trip means an underwear shortage, hahahaha!

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  4. I sympathize with your food in bed problems. I too struggle with that nightly.

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  5. Juicy peaches rule
    but what a mess in the bed!
    best to eat hard ones.

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  6. Laughter is the best medicine. And Mike Doyle always makes you laugh. Just reading your Real Simple magazine this morning will be reading the article You Just Gotta Laugh soon. Mike Doyle has a phenomenal digestive system, LOL.
    If I ate at that time of the morning I would have a belly ache. Continued Godspeed, Mike Doyle!!!!
    Love Your MOMMA

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  7. I laugh at these every single time you post one. So god damn funny. Keep them coming. Great post for a shitty Tuesday.

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    Replies
    1. I'm glad you got a laugh Al! He's quite a card.

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  8. Why is it so hard for men to pack enough underwear? John never does and I'm always reminding him to pack more. I packed his hospital bag and forgot to pack any for him. Womp womp.

    Also, for as advanced as we are with technology, why is it so damn hard to comment from a phone or iPad?

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  9. These are awesome! Too funny!

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  10. LOL!!! I love the golf chain in the picture. And peaches in bed? Hahaha. Perhaps every time he eats in bed you should start the wave.

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  11. I'm not sure if dumper made me laugh harder, or big dinosaur head, but in any event, well done!

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  12. I died at Dino Head, lol. This is one of my fave series, I swear!

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  13. Peaches at 1am in bed LOL hes a character.

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  14. Hilarious! The one about The First 48 is the best!!!

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  15. hahah who eats peaches in bed?!?! also, i'm with him on the wave. make it stop.

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  16. Eating in bed...NASTY. I can't even get on board with the idea of breakfast in bed...I told Isaiah he is never required to do that for me, ever. I have this thing with chewing noises too...it's like nails on a chalkboard. If I had to listen to chomping next to me IN BED in the middle of the night, I would freaking LOSE IT.

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  17. I guess men lose the ability to count when underwear is involved? And two peaches in bed is pretty industrious. Cheers to no crumbs, though!

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  18. The wave is perhaps the most annoying crowd participation activity ever.

    Scott always packs 4560 pairs of underwear, even if we're going away overnight. Then he puts them all in the laundry and wonders the next day why he has no underwear.

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  19. Laugh out loud. I kick Scott out if it's anything particularly gross that he's trying to eat in bed. A peach would be the least of my worries..

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  20. I think the internet ate my first comment, so trying again... I like the new blog look! (It's a little different, and I'm not crazy, right??)

    Lifetime is really not as corny as it used to be. Have y'all watched Killer Kids?? Scary, and good, stuff.

    -Heather
    I do what I want.

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  21. Yup, my husband isn't a fan of Lifetime either.

    And ha about the underwear comment.

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  22. "lifetime is still corney" - Truer words have never been spoken MFD haha

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  23. I love these posts......helps me to validate so much on a daily basis ;-)

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  24. Bahahaha... these are some of my favorite posts! Dinosaur head, Lifetime and the wave were my faves this go-round!

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  25. Haha the wave/peaches in bed is my favorite!

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  26. Big Dinosaur head priceless. The wave...make it stop.

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  27. "We might as well be in the ocean" -- priceless! I love these so much!

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  28. I eat in bed every night, so I can't tell Will not too. However, I do get mad when he spills his drink in bed!

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  29. Peaches in bed? That's so random. But I must admit -- I have the underwear problem too! I am so worried about making sure everyone has everything they need that I tend to forget a few essentials of my own!

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  30. Oh I love these posts!!! And I would be happy for the hubby to eat peaches in bed - lately it's been PB crackers. Yes. CRACKERS! And he is not a neat eater! Did he continue doing the wave , or did he give up? Haha

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  31. LOL! Who was he talking about watching Watching Murder in the First? I watched two episodes but stopped. It was moving so slowly. Is it good? Back off of Lifetime! I can't wait to watch Amish Pregnancy (or whatever it's called) this weekend!!

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  32. I just can't get enough of these. Sorry for the delayed comment, but I refuse to hit "mark as read" on your blog so sometimes I just have to catch up. The peaches comment is my favorite. There's no way I would have used the word "freaking" - it would have been much more vulgar :)

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