Thursday, May 30, 2013

Chasing the years of my life

I'm fifteen for a moment
Caught in between ten and twenty
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are 
I'm twenty two for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars 

And on the song goes…thirty three for a moment; forty five for a moment; another blink of an eye sixty seven is gone; ninety nine for a moment…

When I’m with my girlfriends I’ve known since junior high and high school, I still feel 17 in my brain. I rarely physically feel 23 anymore, particularly after a night of drinking, but still, it seems like it was just yesterday. Wasn’t my 30th birthday last week? A few times recently I’ve gone to look for a photo in my snapfish online albums only to realize that event took place five years ago, not last year.

Everything goes so quickly, and sometimes that makes me feel melancholy. Mostly it serves as a reminder to open my eyes and look at the sky, to say screw the chores and finish the book instead, to linger over flowers instead of speed walking by them, to appreciate the places I find myself, and to focus on the people I’m sitting next to in those places. To be in the moment, to get off of my phone unless it’s to put something on Instagram (it’s called INSTA for a reason, you hear? Just kidding, not really). You know what I mean. To be there.

Every once in a while I’m sort of startled by the fact that I’m 36, which prompts a gut check. An introspection session. How did I get here? What am I doing? Am I where I thought I would be?

The answer to that is no.

I was not ever interested in getting married, but it was important to a charming man who is important to me. I always thought I’d work on a college campus, and instead I’ve spent the past 14 years building a career in communications and marketing – a career full of great coworkers, bosses, opportunities, lessons, and successes – and I actually like what I do. In my early 20s I couldn't even make a good grilled cheese sandwich and didn’t care about anything domestic, and now I really love being in the kitchen and keeping a nice home. I never thought I’d have dogs that I treated like human family members. So many things are different than I thought they would be when I was 15, 18, even 21. I've taken roads I didn't think I'd take. When I took the wrong roads I beat a path through the underbrush and emerged onto another road with cuts and bruises from the journey. But I did emerge. 

So no, I’m not where I thought I’d be. I think I'm somewhere better than I imagined. My life is not even close to perfect. There are still a lot of changes to make in myself, in my relationships and in my environment. I am responsible for my own happiness. I will always be in a state of flux: constantly improving myself and my surroundings, inviting friends old and new to sit at my table, eradicating people and things that affect me negatively, tweaking my ways, learning, growing, changing, revising as I go. But most days, I truly like my life as it is. I'm grateful for everything. I could literally weep with joy at the quality of the people surrounding me. I'm proud of the life I've built for myself. And that is really a wonderful thing, to take stock of your life and to be content.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Do they still have Hungry Eyes?

Do Baby and Johnny end up together after Dirty Dancing?
Or was she just going slumming as Robbie the rat put it? Did Baby go on to college, ready to change the world and do work with the Peace Corps, Johnny Castle just a juicy summer memory she thought of every time she heard Cry to Me?
Or is this The Love for both of them? Does Baby go to college and head home on the weekends to be with Johnny? Does he work for a union shop and go back to Kellerman's in the summers? Does she go too?

Does anyone else think about this shit 26 years after this movie came out?

I want answers just like I want everyone to mind their own dance space. Look, spaghetti arms. This is my dance space, this is your dance space. I don't go into yours, you don't go into mine. You gotta hold the frame.

p.s. big hugs to Lori and Jack who had to put their lovely dog Darby down yesterday. See you on the other side, D.

Linking up for Random Wednesday and Whatever Wednesday

Saturday, May 25, 2013

I Feel Like Madge - Palmolive® soft touch™ Review

I received two bottles of Palmolive® soft touch™ from Influenster for free to review. The products were free, the opinions in this post are my own.

I'm a Palmolive user. Palmolive's packaging appeals to me, it's what my Mom Mom used to use, and I loved their old ad lady Madge. Do you remember Madge?

Madge promised no dish pan hands, and by God your manicure would survive dishwashing to boot.

All these years later, is that still the case?

Palmolive® soft touch™ is new to me. While I always buy Palmolive for dish washing (I use Dawn when making my own cleaning products), I nomally pick what type I buy by scent.

So first, the sniff test. Don't be jealous of how I look on Saturday morning after I just woke up.
Both passed, but I liked the Coconut Butter better.

Now the wash test. I used the Vitamin E on the plate and the Coconut Butter on the knife. Hi YAH.
Nice amount of sudsing on both - enough to get the dishes squeaky clean, not too much that I was overwhelmed with bubbles.

And my hands? No chips in my manicure, and they were soft as a baby's butt. Madge would be proud. I'm going to keep a bottle and give a bottle away to share the joy of a good dish liquid.

I also have five $1 off coupons (exp 6/30) that I'm happy to mail out to the first five people who leave a comment or send me an email to so you can try it for yourself.

Have a great Saturday!

Friday, May 10, 2013

From the desk of the Dalaimomma

TGIF readers! Today I bring you a guest blog from my Mom as a special Mother's Day Weekend bonus. I wanted to write a title that contained a your mom joke but I couldn't work it out plus my mom would be like oh no. If you are new to this blog, you'll see my mom comment on most of my posts, and people seem to enjoy her comments as much as they enjoy my actual post. Here's the post I wrote for her birthday last year. Happy Mother's Day weekend to all you mothers - of children, step-kids, pets, cats, frogs, whatever. Without further ado, take it away Mother...
Mom and me, my Mom's favorite accessory - her hair mane - from the early 90s and it's still standing, our similar feet
I am so happy to be the Guest Bloggess!

I wish to impart some of my acquired wisdom from the past 20 years of my almost 57 years.

My beliefs help me to understand this life, rendering me more serene, hence, I have dubbed myself the Dalaimomma.

1.  Spirituality. Observe the golden rule, show MAJOR gratitude, and always count your blessings first, especially when confronted with unpleasantries. Everything happens for a reason! Do not be judgmental. Avoid anyone or anything giving you negative energy whenever possible.

2.  Positive affirmations. My main one: “Everyday in every way, my life and my loved ones' lives are more and more wonderful!” This covers everything. If my people are happy, then I am happy. I am not saying nothing bad will ever happen, but you will get through it and it will be easier to handle if you stay positive & grateful.

3.  Thoughts are things! REALLY, they ARE! Counteract every negative/unkind thought with positive energy ASAP! Just try & be aware.  I am getting better at this!

4.  Books. The Complete Writings of Florence Scovel Schinn- Ageless! Louise Hay- You Can Heal Your Life. Many affirmations. Reprogram your cells to perfection. Refuse dis-ease. Reprogram your mind to positivity. Creatively visualize what you want. No wishing bad on anyone-EVER! What you put out is what you get back. AND-all of this is free - it can’t hurt. It has helped me immensely.

5.  We write our charts on the Other Side to develop our souls. We have many lives, probably as a different sex, race, rich, poor, beauty, etc. Empathize and have compassion for everyone.

6.  The other side exists and is beautiful and we see all of our loved ones, including pets, and they help us while we are here.

7.  I “light” my loved ones several times a day and surround us and our stuff with angels. I also light everyone, everything, everywhere. The more light and love that are sent out to the universe, the better. White light of the holy spirit, green light of healing & prosperity mostly. It is free to love, light, & be kind.

8.  Everything has energy: cars, your house, etc. Be kind to it, take care of it and be grateful for everything. I light everything.

This is a quick synopsis. I do not want to wear out my welcome as a guest bloggess. I am a work in progress, we all are.

Positive energy, love, and lights to all of you, especially my Stephanie, the first one to make me a MOMMA!

Oh, & follow me on the Twitter @sheridan_lindaTwitter is very interesting & I have the time to Tweet! I RT all of Steph’s blogs. #HERBLOGSARETHEABSOLUTEBEESKNEES

Goddess/Godspeed always.

Love, Steph's MOMMA

Linking up with Joy for the Friday Five and That's What She Read and Bold Butter Baby for Mom's the Word.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

And in that moment I swear we were infinite

Seeing the sunrise

Riding roller coasters

Feeling like my heart is so full of love/pride/awe that it will burst

Warm sun on my skin

Breathing deeply

At the end of a class at the gym

Floating in the pool

Being awake and outside when no one else in the neighborhood is

Running in the fields with the dogs

Cloud watching

Loving someone with all of my heart


Sitting under a harvest moon

Laughing for a long time from deep in the pit of my stomach


Those halcyon days and nights with friends that seem to go on forever

Sharing major life experiences

Escaping reality

Being a part of something that's bigger than me

Realizing I'm in the middle of an event or conversation that I will remember for my entire life

Staring at a steady rain

Being on the beach

Meandering through quiet shore towns in the off-season

Walking the track at Relay For Life

Looking at the sunset over the ocean

Strolling with my dogs during the magic hour

Road tripping on deserted roads through unknown towns to the soundtrack of my choosing

After my third drink, when the day or night is still young and I'm anticipating a lot of fun

Reading an amazing, heart squeezing book

Writing without purpose or direction

Saturdays without agendas

Vacation eve

Seeing only open water on a cruise ship

What makes you feel infinite?

Inspired by a quote from The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

Thursday, May 2, 2013

From the Desk of Augustus Gloop

I know you know who I am. Mother would never have a blog without giving me a starring role.

My given name is Augustus Fred. My mother also callls me Gus, Gussie, Gump, Bumble, and many other things, including Augustus Gloop when she thinks I am snarfing food. Which is ridiculous and below me, by the way.

Behold my kingdom: The Beach, The Mountains, the Snow, the Fields. Basically everywhere I am.
I lord over my kingdom like the true person king I am. I am not a dog. I need attendants like Geege to make sure my kingdom runs smoothly. I know we look alike, but Geege is a dog.

Geege serves a triple purpose in my life: he is a fierce warrior intent on protecting my kingdom from interlopers by barking the bejesus out of himself, he's the light hearted butterfly chasing court jester, and he's also my very best friend.
So happy is the weather...bah bah bah bah bah bah bah bah
Geege prefers that I do the talking while he keeps watch at the window. I prefer that too. I love the spotlight. Geege loves the window. It works.
The thing is, people, my mother thinks she's in charge here. But we run this fortress. Everything in it is for me me me...and Geege. In fact, Geege supervises every single thing Mother does, inside and out. Sometimes I like to saunter in to see what's going on and to make sure things are to my liking, but mostly you will find me reclining on top of pillows or outside in the sun. I enjoy chewing holes in blankets, but whenever I do that Mother comes in waving her arms and yelling. So I save that for when she's not home.

Do things always run smoothly here? No, loyal subjects, they do not. Allow me to introduce Exhibits A - H.

Exhibit A: When I was a puppy, Mother cordoned me off in the kitchen. I didn't like it, so I opened every cabinet, and took every single thing out. I opened every box of pasta, every bag of rice, I tore into the sandwich baggies, the tin foil, into everything. My parents would know my rage. I did this twice before they released me, discovered the second time by Mom Mom Sugar who came to liberate me. I rewarded her by jack assing around in the yard and not coming inside.

Exhibit B: I did not care for the furniture, so I gnawed off every wooden leg on every table and chair.

Exhibit C: My parents also had a total fit on the occasions where I dug in the trash and got out something they call tampons. I left them on beds and chairs and rugs. Father was always the one who would find them and I believe he may have had a few, what do you call them? Nervous break downs. Anyway, all the trash cans have lids now.

Geege is off chasing birds. He came to live with us when he was three so I can speak authoritatively on his behalf on the matter of his dirty deeds.

Exhibit D: He's sort of self conscious about it, but his breath? My parents always say this, and I shouldn't repeat it, so it'll just be between us - his breath smells like assholes. Literally like one thousand assholes. He's gotten so much dental work over the years he's been with us, the poor chap has no front teeth left.

Exhibit E: He also has this other thing. He marks. My parents got washable couches for this reason. I don't see the problem - he needs to let everyone know this is OUR house. He is drawing a line, people. We're always looking at Mother like "What pee smell? Please stop waving your arms and pointing at things and get us a treat."

Exhibit F: Nails. Don't touch our freaking nails. If you take us somewhere, I will howl like a banshee so loudly that the nail clipper will page mother over the loud speaker. And at the vet, Geege will have straight up diarrhea during nail clippings. Step off. Do I need to remind you of the incident when I lost a nail and got casted by Treat Lady? A freaking cast made of a rag, a maxi pad and duct tape? Everyone paid for that for weeks.

Exhibit G: Geege and I are pitching a TV show to NBC called The Delightful Adventures of Gus and Geege. We toddle out of the gate when it blows open and wander into neighbors' yards, or just stroll our regular route down the road. We're celebrities in this neighborhood, and the neighbors like to give us the royal treatment and escort us home to much fanfare. Our parents greet our arrival with thunderous faces. We don't know why. Hello we're a big deal around here.

Exhibit H: On walks, I always poop in front of the statue of man Jesus at the church. Why does mother cower in embarrassment? Are we not all God's creatures? I think Man Jesus can handle some pug poop. It's small.

Why do we do these naughty things?

IT'S ALL PAYBACK. Look at this insanity. Just look at it.

Don't worry - next Thursday Mother will go back to talking about parties. The only thing I like about parties is the food and the attention I get. And also beer. I like beer. So basically everything. Today I needed to take control of this page and share our truth. In summation, are not perfect. We are often naughty. But we are so cute you can't help but forgive and forget immediately.

Keep us in blankets, pillows, and treats. Let us be near our Mother, always. Stay away from our nails and put down the costumes. Then maybe we'll stop our antics.
But probably not. We're mischievous and funny and that's how we roll.

Shoutout to JMeoww.

Toby's Tails
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