Friday, October 27, 2017

Shit MFD Said Vol 44

MFD: No one in this house is impressed with your Coffee Town right now, okay? You could have left the pot where I had it.
Me: I put it back! Good as new. Welcome to Coffee Town.
MFD: Is there coffee?
Me: Of course there is, in that green thing where it always is.
MFD: I didn't know if you thought Coffee Town was a real, functioning place or just an imaginary staging area.

 Watching hurricane devastation
MFD: See, you'd survive this situation.
Me: Me? Why?
MFD: Because you'd be with me. I would find a clean water source. We might have to walk many miles to get to it but...
Me: But I don't want to do that.
MFD: You can just Randy it up at home I guess. I don't want to, what is that?
Me: I am not surviving an apocalyptic scenario. We have discussed this a million times. 

The night after the PA women's conference
Me: I just cleared out the sink. If you leave those dishes in there and don't put them in the dishwasher I'm going to punch you.
MFD: What did you learn today, how to smash the patriarchy without being nice?

MFD: Did you make Mae food or something?
Me: No, why?
MFD: What's in this tin?
Me: Brownies that are healthy. They taste like baked poop.
MFD: They look like baked poop too. I don't think brownies are supposed to be healthy.

MFD: What was with that pasta?
Me: It’s for my lunch.
MFD: It’s good.
Me: You ate my lunch?
MFD: Little bit.
Me: Why would you eat my lunch?
MFD: It didn’t say Stephanie’s Lunch.
Me: We’ve been over this before. If it’s packaged in a small thing, it’s my lunch.
MFD: Listen, you should get your own lunch refrigerator. 

MFD: Google blue poop.
Me: Why?
MFD: Google it and tell me what it says.
I do that
MFD: What? No. That’s not scientific. 
Me: That’s what it says on what your poop is trying to tell you dot com
Three minutes of silence
MFD: Alright then. Google bluish green poop. 
Me: I’m done googling colored poop.

All read and approved by MFD before they go live...
Shit MFD Said Vol 1Shit MFD Said Vol 2Shit MFD Said Vol 3Shit MFD Said Vol 4
Shit MFD Said Vol 5Shit MFD Said Vol 6Shit MFD Said Vol 7Shit MFD Said Vol 8
Shit MFD Said Vol 9Shit MFD Said Vol 10Shit MFD Said Vol 11, Shit MFD Said Vol 12, Shit MFD Said Vol 13, Shit MFD Said Vol 14, Shit MFD Said Vol 15, Shit MFD Said Vol 16, Shit MFD Said Vol 17, Shit MFD Said Vol 18, Shit MFD Said Vol 19, Shit MFD Said Vol 20, Shit MFD Said Vol 21, Vol 22, Vol 23, Vol 24, Vol 25, Vol 26, Vol 27, Vol 28, Vol 29, Vol 30, Vol 31, Vol 32, Vol 33, Vol 34, Vol 35, Vol 36, Vol 37, Vol 38, Vol 39, Vol 40, Vol 41, Vol 42, Vol 43


  1. He's a riot. However, I think I would throat punch someone if they kept eating my food. Food & sleep... two things not to mess around with with me.

  2. So entertaining! I love the comment on smashing the patriarchy without being nice! Definitely gave me a good laugh today!

  3. He is great. I sang "Yes" at I don't think brownies are suppose to be healthy. Truer words have never been spoken.

  4. Omg, the lunch-eating. I can so relate to that problem.

  5. You can just Randy it up at home, hahahahah.

  6. if my H ate my food, there would be hell to pay!

  7. Haha ... but what good can come from googling colored poop? Sounds like he's been eating too many fruit snacks.

  8. Hahaha cracking up over here! Always love reading this series. Baked poop is too funny and I adore that pic of MFD and Bruce "snuggling" xo Emily @ Martinis & Bikinis

  9. Haha I love the one about the dirty dishes! I know that I'd do and say the exact same thing to Chris!

  10. OMG with the poop hahahah. Love all of this!

  11. hahaha you have to start making things he won't eat! That's what I do with my lunches, I add things like flax and chia seeds and suddenly John thinks it's poison. Works like a charm.

  12. hahaha I guess you need to label your lunches now.

    He's right brownies are not supposed to be healthy....

    Also ... I googled blue poop whyyyyy?! hahaha

  13. LMAO - what did you learn today?
    I'm not googling blue poop.

  14. Always a fun read and to catch up on the musings of MFD!

  15. These are hilarious! Smash the patriarchy without being nice LOL.

  16. Here here MFD brownies are not supposed to be healthy! I may need my own lunch fridge too as that happens to me a lot :-P

  17. I lol'ed at smash the patriarchy without being nice. I love these so much.

  18. LOLLLL at the patriarchy comment. Also, healthy brownies? No.

  19. ...I agree. Brownies aren't meant to be healthy. Lol!
    I love that picture with Bruce at the beginning! Hahaha!


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