Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Shit MFD Said: Vol 32

Driving to the shore
MFD: If I ever die on the side of the road do not erect anything.
Me: Oh no, I would never. Do you know me?
MFD: I just had to state it out loud. 

While at the shore
MFD: You know what I don't have any of?
Me: Underwear?
MFD: Not a stitch.
Me: Classic.
MFD: Do you think they have them at Rite Aid?
Me: No. 
MFD: Could you check while I'm out? I'll wear corny ones.
Me: Sure...come to think of it, do you think they have shorts there? I am a pair short.
MFD: They'll be corny but sure. Why not?
Me: So we're people that buy clothes from Rite Aid now. Something new for us.
MFD: No. We're trying to buy them from Rite Aid. We haven't been successful yet.

While tubing
MFD:  I need a knife to cut these shoe laces. 
Me: We're in the middle of a river. 
MFD: I'll figure it out. Like this guy is coming on a kayak, I'll ask him.
Me: You cannot ask a stranger for a knife in the middle of a remote area.
MFD: Sure I can. He's fishing. You don't go fishing without a knife.
Me: But you are NOT fishing, so he should not give you one. You're just a stranger on the river with his wife asking for knives. 

In text

All read and approved by MFD before they go live...
Shit MFD Said Vol 1Shit MFD Said Vol 2Shit MFD Said Vol 3Shit MFD Said Vol 4
Shit MFD Said Vol 5Shit MFD Said Vol 6Shit MFD Said Vol 7Shit MFD Said Vol 8
Shit MFD Said Vol 9Shit MFD Said Vol 10Shit MFD Said Vol 11, Shit MFD Said Vol 12, Shit MFD Said Vol 13, Shit MFD Said Vol 14, Shit MFD Said Vol 15, Shit MFD Said Vol 16, Shit MFD Said Vol 17, Shit MFD Said Vol 18, Shit MFD Said Vol 19, Shit MFD Said Vol 20, Shit MFD Said Vol 21, Vol 22, Vol 23, Vol 24, Vol 25, Vol 26, Vol 27, Vol 28, Vol 29, Vol 30, Vol 31,


  1. I'm going to guess that Rite Aid trip was successful. I ain't scared to wear some clothes from the pharmacy.
    MFD's logic about the fishing man in a kayak actually makes sense to me.

  2. He thought you were at a long haircut?! LOL and the bad driving - I dont think I would have guessed!! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

  3. HAHA that last one is awesome. That happens to us constantly too ;)
    I also love that he wanted to ask a stranger for a knife.
    These posts are always the best :)

  4. "A really long haircut." Hahaha. So did you get a knife from the man in the river?!

  5. Awesome. I have bought Rite Aid clothes lol.

  6. I really thought he was going to ask you for a nail clipper while tubing.

  7. Agree on bachelor and bachelorette shows. Ugh! Asbury Ave is right there! I would have gone shopping there ! Especially that one store I can't think of the name. A funny read as always. Funny is always welcome. Love. Your. Momma.

  8. Music, Mike Doyle, Music is your thing.
    Not driving. Lol.

  9. But... did Rite Aid pull through for you guys? I know I have seen random clothes at Walgreens before. And did the guy have a knife? You can't leave us hanging, Steph!

  10. He should have just used his nail clippers on his keychain to cut the shoe laces! Did Rite Aid have clothes for you guys? I've definitely bought socks there, but I think that's it clothing-wise. And LOL at the concert one!

  11. Lol I hope the Rite Aid clothes journey was successful. Being fr the Midwest legit everyone has a knife on them or nearby so this would seem pretty normal to me.

  12. So did the guy have a knife?

    The erecting something on the side of the road - sad but made me laugh. Our side roads are COVERED around here. & those things stay up for YEARSSSSS. I'm always like, Why do people want to come back & remember & celebrate the place people's lives ended? So bizarre.

    I've bought sandal & t-shirts at Walgreens before in a crisis ;)

  13. He makes a great point about the people on the Bachelor/Bachelorette. They are fake assholes. Did you happen to find anything at Rite Aid? Just wondering....

    And I had to laugh at him asking where you were because Chris does that shit all the time. I will tell him about something and he completely forgets. AND he always thinks my haircuts take too long.

  14. HAHAHA I enjoy these. Never fails to make me laugh! The last one...long hair cut hahaha

  15. These are ALWAYS my favorite. "A long haircut" and "I just had to state it out loud" were my favorites haha.

  16. Rite Aid underwear for a good driver without a knife...

  17. Having ridden in a car while MFD was driving, you KNOW my response to that one! LOL at the long haircut. Aaron always forgets that shit, too. And hello?! You do NOT ask strangers for a knife, particularly in the wilderness where your bodies might never be found.

  18. KC and I say that thing about the side of the road all the time. and the stickers on the back of people's cars too.
    a long haircut hahaha - KC does that to me all the time. I'm going away for 10 days this weekend and he keeps saying 'wait, how long? a weekend? when will you be back? hey lets do this next week'.
    hope the rite aid clothes shopping experience was a success! and i hope the knife asking experience was not. haha. i'd be like.. yeah not giving a stranger a knife.

  19. a long haircut LOL. He's totally right about the bachelor/bachelorette though, I agree!

  20. LOL that would be one long & intense hair cut. Were you successful at Rite Aid??

  21. I just effing love these, LOL. Especially the Rite Aid one.

  22. PS WE NEED TO KNOW IF YOU GOT THE KNIFE, give the people what they want!

    1. Ha! We did not have any luck at Rite Aid but he did borrow a knife from a stranger in the middle of a river. Hello, Criminal Minds episode.

  23. YES!!! My favorite series! LOL at not a stitch of underwear, but finding some at Rite Aid!

  24. Hahahaha! His point about the bachelor/bachelorette is a pretty good one! Haha! I watched the paradise show last night and tried to figure out if there was a point or, like, a way to win...? I'm still confused by the concept.
    K and I always make sure the other knows what we do and don't want post-life. Hahaha!
    I love that text conversation! Hahahahahaha!!

  25. These always make me laugh! The underwear story is the best. Now I also know that Rite Aid is a possibility if I ever need shorts. And the people on Bachelor and Bachelorette are assholes, which is #truth.

  26. I can't even tell which is my favorite one: asking for a knife in the middle of a river or the text, because in that one, I get to see how you two really talk to one another.

  27. So, did you find underwear and shorts at Rite Aid??? I love that as soon as he said he didn't have any of something, you knew it was underwear.

  28. A long haircut, HA!

    Your first set of dialogue reminds me of sharing with my husband that I worry from time to time about what picture he'll use on the posters if I go missing. He then proceeded to scroll throw his phone and find a terrible photo of me with a huge glass of wine. He said he'd use that one and put on the posters to "look for her near a large glass of wine."

  29. I never miss What MFD Said. These may be my favorite posts.

  30. um i may have said this before but this was my favorite yet. do you just laugh ALL day? it's such 'typical men' commentary but so, so great. especially as an outsider :)

  31. These are fabulous. I love that first one. SO TRUE.
    Often, I find myself at Walgreens trying to buy random things because I'm too lazy to go to Wal-Mart. I can relate.

  32. LOL... You're just a guy on the river with his wife asking strangers for knives. That gives a whole new meaning to stranger danger.

  33. I totally agree with him about the people from the bachelor and bachelorette! They're all so fake, but I still watch the shows anyways. I'm hopeless!

  34. The text conversation just may be my favorite of this volume :)


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