Friday, April 1, 2016

Shit MFD Said Vol 28

The Night before NewOrleans
Me: I almost got in an altercation getting your hair gel tonight, you know.
MFD: What? Why? It was the last one or something? 
Me: Yes. The lady was yelling at me in Russian so I didn't really understand but was gesturing to her hair and saying I need it and gesturing to mine like I didn't.
MFD: Did she have spiky hair?
Me: Yes.
MFD: Did you show her my picture? Like look at this guy's hair?
MFD: You should have. 

Upon arrival in New Orleans
MFD: Where's that hair gel you got at Target? Did you bring it?
Me: No. Why would I bring your hair gel? It's in the thing where your hair gel goes. At home.
MFD: Great! Now we have to get hair gel. Do you have anything?
Me: No.
Digs through things anyway 
MFD: Do you know where my Rayban sunglasses are? 
Me: No.
MFD: Do you know where anything is?
Me: Yes. All of my things.

MFD: Guess what works? 
Me: The water thing on the fridge? How?
MFD: I fixed it.
Me: How?
MFD: If men told women how we fix things you would kill us off and rule the world like Amazons.
Me: That is bullshit ridiculous. I bet it just started working again. 
MFD: No. I fixed it.
Me: How?
MFD: I can't tell you. Then my usefulness will be extinct.

Reading The Catcher in the Rye before bed
MFD: I bet you like this part. Reads part
Me: No.
MFD: I bet you like this fart part (reads part)
Me: Yes. Farts are always funny.
MFD: I bet this is one of your favorite lines (reads lines)
Me: Actually, it is. 
MFD: I know. Because you underlined it. But I'd know anyway.

At the shore
Me: Do you know what the wifi password is?
MFD: Turdbutt?
Me: No. 
MFD: Why not? 
Me: Because renters have to use it.
MFD: So? Is it Label maker? 
Me: ...
MFD: Just thinking of things you like. 

All read and approved by MFD before they go live...
Shit MFD Said Vol 1Shit MFD Said Vol 2Shit MFD Said Vol 3Shit MFD Said Vol 4
Shit MFD Said Vol 5Shit MFD Said Vol 6Shit MFD Said Vol 7Shit MFD Said Vol 8
Shit MFD Said Vol 9Shit MFD Said Vol 10Shit MFD Said Vol 11, Shit MFD Said Vol 12, Shit MFD Said Vol 13, Shit MFD Said Vol 14, Shit MFD Said Vol 15, Shit MFD Said Vol 16, Shit MFD Said Vol 17, Shit MFD Said Vol 18, Shit MFD Said Vol 19, Shit MFD Said Vol 20, Shit MFD Said Vol 21, Vol 22, Vol 23, Vol 24, Vol 25, Vol 26, Vol 27


  1. Just thinking of things you like...that is hilarious also great comeback for him asking do you know where anything is...yes my stuff haha! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

  2. "Did you show her my picture? Like look at this guy's hair?", something my husband would say to me...Happy FRIDAY!

  3. Tyson always thinks I should know where all the things are too and sometimes gets unreasonably upset that I don't.

    Is the WiFi password label maker, hahahaha!

  4. hahaha Turbutt and label maker....I would LOVE to get to the shore house and see that the wifi password was Turdbutt. So would my husband lol.
    I also love how he asked you if you knew where anything was. Men!
    Thanks for sharing these!

  5. Hahahha I bet the water thing on the fridge just randomly started working again. I love that he won't tell you though cause he thinks you won't need his assistance anymore. ;)

  6. Lol on him not telling you how he fixed the water thing on the refrigerator lol.

  7. Always an adventure with Mike Doyle! Literally lol-ing.
    Lol-ing !
    And no one has to April Fool me. You kids do it all year and I always
    Fall for it!

  8. Love. Your. Momma. This phone was going weird while I was posting. Jmj

  9. Labelmaker as a password - I can see it :)
    Why do men just assume you pack for TWO ... my husband does the same thing & it drives me nuts... & confession - I do pack most of his stuff because I know he'll forget it. He's got me trained I guess.

  10. My husband can never find his things, either. And even if I pack for him, he needs me to find it in the suitcase. MFD had a good point with the hair gel, I mean that really would have sold it. And label maker as a thing you like... so good.

  11. Is it label maker hahaha. What is it about men and packing for trips? Legit John would never have a toothbrush, toothpaste, sunblock, or socks if I didn't pack them. Same with my dad, he's constantly asking my mom where all his shit is. Pack it yourselves, gentlemen.

  12. "Did you show her my picture?" :D
    And MFD's reasoning for NOT telling you how he fixed the water is hilarious! BUT it wasn't as good as your comeback for where things are. BOOM!
    Happy Friday!

  13. YES! Farts are universally funny and always will be! And he sounds just like my husband when packing to go somewhere, he always asking me where his stuff is. After him forgetting dress shoes to go with his formal night clothes on a cruise once and flip flops for the beach, I do try to do a once over of his suitcase before we leave *sigh* :-P

  14. Man, I wish my wi-fi password was TurdButt. I could actually remember it. :) My current one isn't so bad but my old one was like 13 random letters and numbers and with my butter fingers, I always had to retype it 3 times. Since it's just me, I'm good with packing what I need. Where I suck is leaving things behind. My parents have had to twice ship my make-up bag to me.

  15. LOL @ Label maker...He gets so creative with his comebacks. Too funny about the hair gel.

  16. Hair products are no joke! lol

    I love that come back I know where all my stuff is! Why don't you know where your things are! That sounds like something my husband and I would say to one another.

    LabelMaker! LOL I think you should change it to that just to spite him!

  17. Hahahahaha label maker or something with books should totally be your password!!! That is hilarious that he didn't even bring the hair gel that you went to battle for. So something Chris would have done!

  18. Labelmaker- lol! The last wifi I had was "The Eye of Sauron"- obviously I was dating a LoTR fan. I've started packing for two always, particularly the toiletries. I've also made lists for them to check off as they're packing. Both things help, though it's a bit annoying that they would honestly forget the simplest things if they weren't reminded.

  19. you guys need a reality show...too funny.

  20. hahahaha the last one omg.

    oh the packing thing. KC always acts like he's so easy going about packing, and then when we get there he's like 'where is this or that?' and i'm like you don't want me to treat you like a child with packing, but you want the benefits of that aka me packing everything. when we went to disney he asked where the foldable water bottle was and i was like.. where you last put it? if you wanted it, why didn't you bring it?!

  21. Oh, the conversation about the hair gel that was home when it should have been in N.O. and the MIA sunglasses! I so understand b/c my husband and I have had similar conversations! Hilarious!

  22. I like the Doyle reality show suggestion. I mean, there are far less interesting, intelligent, witty people out there on tv (and making money for it.).

    I bet "labelmaker" is my step-mom's password.

  23. Always loved his blonde ringlets... tell him to skip the gel!

  24. I love the last exchange haha. As per usual another good one!

  25. Well!! I just read 3 of your posts! New favorite blog :)

  26. That's too funny that MFD thought that you were supposed to bring his hair gel! Men always think that you'll bring their stuff for them even though it's their job!

  27. LOL at turdbutt and lablemaker. Definitely use something that random as a password. MFD needs lots of stuff on vacation. Hahah!

  28. He kills me. I can't believe you tussled with an old Russian woman for his hair gel. Now that is love. He totally didn't know how he fixed it, right? They usually just smack at way at it till it works again. Haha!


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