Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Shit MFD Said: Vol 31

After dinner out
MFD: You don't have any toothpicks or tooth floss do you? 
Me: It's called dental floss.
MFD: Tooth floss.
Me: Dental floss!
MFD: It could be tooth floss too.

Holding up an article of clothing after a few weeks not at the shore
Me: Look, I forgot I had this here.
MFD: What is it?
Me: A bathing suit coverup. Duh. 
MFD: It looks like Pancho Villa's nightie. 

Before I bought him these
MFD: Do you have wet wipes?
Me: Yes.
MFD: you have any nail clippers in there?
Me: Mike! No!
MFD: What? I don't know what you have in there.
Me: It's never going to be nail clippers! Ever! I've told you that every time you've asked. 
MFD: I thought maybe you did your nails here.
Me: In my car? Stop.

Yelling up from downstairs as I'm trying to go to sleep
MFD: Steph!
Me: What.
MFD: Do you know what I'm watching?
Me: No.
MFD: Fart: a documentary.
Me: Did you say FART?
MFD: Yes. 
Me: That's what I thought.
MFD: Steph!
Me: What.
MFD: You gotta come watch this.
Me: No. 
MFD: They're talking about farting in front of your spouse.
Me: I'm familiar with that. I'm going to sleep now.

Eating dinner
Me: What are you doing?
MFD: Scraping this off.
Me: Why?
Mfd: I don't like rosemary that much.
Me: There's not that much on there...this is like a toddler eating.
MFD: Says the person who can't have their food touch on their plate.
Me: Touche.

On the way home from the shore
MFD: Do you want to stop and take a picture in front of that big Alred E Newman looking thing?
Me: Should I?
MFD: I don't know. I think it's kind of cool. 
Me: Do YOU want your picture taken in front of it?
MFD: Maybe.

All read and approved by MFD before they go live...
Shit MFD Said Vol 1Shit MFD Said Vol 2Shit MFD Said Vol 3Shit MFD Said Vol 4
Shit MFD Said Vol 5Shit MFD Said Vol 6Shit MFD Said Vol 7Shit MFD Said Vol 8
Shit MFD Said Vol 9Shit MFD Said Vol 10Shit MFD Said Vol 11, Shit MFD Said Vol 12, Shit MFD Said Vol 13, Shit MFD Said Vol 14, Shit MFD Said Vol 15, Shit MFD Said Vol 16, Shit MFD Said Vol 17, Shit MFD Said Vol 18, Shit MFD Said Vol 19, Shit MFD Said Vol 20, Shit MFD Said Vol 21, Vol 22, Vol 23, Vol 24, Vol 25, Vol 26, Vol 27, Vol 28, Vol 29, Vol 30


  1. Classic - men and farts doesn't matter how old they are they will always find them funny! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

  2. Always an adventure with our Mike Doyle! Love the beach coverup and touché. I am not big on Rosemary either as a seasoning.
    Keep laughing. Love. Your. Momma.

  3. Hahaha nice! Now I'm really curious about the fart documentery though :-D

  4. Tooth floss...I laughed and laughed.

  5. I love you two. End of story.

  6. Fart documentary... HILARIOUS.

  7. These are great, tooth floss!

  8. Maybe you should just get the damn nail clippers, like for his birthday... he'll never expect it.

  9. Mr Bill! Is the ice cream stand still there? Hysterical as always!

  10. LOL! LOL! I wish you could see how excited I get when I see these posts on your blog. I die laughing EVERY time!!! You two are great!

  11. hahahaha he has his own nail clippers now! YAY!
    John actually tries very hard not to fart in front of me, nice man. His little brother, however, just acts like he's my little brother too. Constant farts, that one.

  12. LMAO at Pancho Villa's nightie! Also, Volume 31? For some reason that struck me. So much shit MFD said!

  13. LOL Pancho Villa's nightie??? I love that you bought him travel clippers. I mean, how much do guys think we keep stashed places you know?! There is a documentary on the Fart? Oh my.

  14. Not the nail clippers. I think we all need to gather as bloggers & everyone mail him nail clippers :) have them randomly show up in the mail for a year :) haha
    Tooth floss. Yeaahhh - never heard of that.
    So I totally have to look up that documentary on netflix just to read the description.

  15. This might be my favorite one yet

  16. oh my gosh, hahahah. WAIT, the nail clipper one!!! I keep our nail clippers in a glass jar on the bathroom counter (as I have for years) and LITERALLY every single time he wants to clip his nails he asks where they are. I'm like - I never physically go get them for you, I ALWAYS direct you to them and they're in the same spot so why can't you figure this out??? hahahaha. And I lol'ed at the documentary comment. He is a hoot.

  17. LOL the farting documentary. That's every woman's life.

  18. Tooth floss - I may have to use that one. And LOL at a fart documentary, my husband would have been just as excited!

  19. That farting documentary moment is hilarious :D And I don't like my food to touch, either!! Nothing wrong with that ;)

  20. Haha! I love how he was watching that documentary and your response to him wanting you to watch it with him. Has he finally asked you about nail clippers now that you actually have a pair in your purse?

  21. MFD: Says the person who can't have their food touch on their plate.
    Me: Touche.

    This is so me. I don't like the food to touch, and I only eat one thing at a time. My boss commented on it during lunch my first week on the job. I was hoping I wouldn't get fired for being OCD. (Spoiler: I didn't. Just get made fun of.)

    I need a photo of MFD in front of that guy!

  22. These always make me so happy! I especially love how he always thinks maybe this time you'll have a nail clipper.

  23. I don't like rosemary much and would scrape it off AND I'm not a fan of my food touching either. Oh no!

  24. I'm a staunch no food touching on the plate support. Buffets are the worst

  25. To be fair, rosemary is pretty gross.

    And my husband can't keep up with nail clippers either. I buy him 2 each year for Christmas and they always disappear before February...

  26. It's never going to be nail clippers! hahaha and oh my gosh 'i'm familiar with that' with the farting spouse. sometimes your responses are funnier than the shit MFD says. i am not going to tell KC about that documentary.
    i am so so on the food touching on the plate. in theory i'm like that is stupid, get over it, but in reality i'm like OMG SHIT IS TOUCHING I CAN'T EAT IT IT'S RUINED.

  27. LOL to the nail clippers and fart documentary! I'm actually surprised Eric hasn't watched that yet. Is it streaming on Netflix? If it is, I'm sure it's only a matter of time. Haha.

  28. LOL @ Pancho Villa's nightie...He comes up with some creative things. Ah I know another person who doesn't like their food to touch n the plate. I can imagine that could be challenging around Thanksgiving.

  29. Oh Lord don't let my husband see the Fart documentary. He will giggle about that for weeks.

    I actually have a manicure set in my purse. But it is mostly for tweezers in case of splinters or rouge hairs.


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