Wednesday, January 6, 2021

Seems that I was busy doing something close to nothing, but different than the day before

Happy third workday of January. How are we doing? 

I am not a resolution maker anymore, but I have set intentions for the year at the beginning of most years. I don't only do that then, of course. I've done that quarterly, monthly, weekly, daily. This year, my only intention is to stay afloat.

When I think about what that actually means, I can break it down as I see it manifesting in 10 ways in my day to day. If you like anything from this list and want to adapt it into your life, cool, but this post is not me advising people how to live at this time. My only advice is however you can. This is how I'm doing it right now. I am not here to take a positive piss in your cereal and hand it to you and tell you it's milk. I'm not here to read anything from anyone doing that either. 

1. One day at a time mindset. This is easier for me to grasp since I live with someone in recovery and am extremely familiar with the concept of ODAAT, but as a planner it was still a big change. I am in a 24 hour vision cycle right now. Tonight I'll think about what I'm going to do or not do tomorrow. I used to plan my days out at least a week in advance. That doesn't work in my life right now, so I don't do it.  On weekdays, this includes staying on top of work with a task breakdown and lists. On weekends, it includes whatever I feel like doing that day. Living more by feel. A planner with no plans. Life requires adjustments.

2. No guilt. There is no right way to live through a pandemic and massive societal unrest. I can sleep more, eat more, turn off the news more. Whatever I need to do that day to stay okay or get to feeling okay, that's what I'm doing that day. And okay? That is what I'm aiming for. I'm not looking to be good, great, or positive AF. If I end up being any of those things that day, cool. But my goal every day is to feel okay. 

3. As the title indicates, my day to day is not much different. My intention is have a routine, but make it flexible. I suffered through much of 2020 because I thought I couldn't have a routine at all and I really need a fucking routine to feel grounded. So as an example: I can use my time before work that would normally be my commute time to read, sleep in, walk, write, get something done, sit quietly with my dogs...anything besides sit on my phone and waste an hour on it before I even start doing anything else. 

4. Essentials of daily living - adequate sleep, proper hydration, and food. The first two are self explanatory, no? As for the last, it's a little more than just food...when I first started really cooking, I would try to find something cool to make. Then I fell into the I need to cook to live, here are easy things that I like. In 2020 most things I found creative joy in stopped - cooking was one of those things. It's coming back. 

5. Put the phone down. 

6. Work/life boundaries. Something else I did last year to my detriment is let work bleed over into my time. Sometimes that's the nature of the beast when you are on a deadline but it should not be common practice. I'd get up and just start working and if I didn't have anything happening at night (um hello when were things happening at night never) I'd keep working. 

7. Rest does not need to be earned. I don't need to be productive outside of working hours first before I earn the right to rest. This world is exhausting and demoralizing right now and I'm fucking tired. I know you are too. We can rest. We don't need to front. 

8. Get outside. I don't feel as good anywhere as I do outside. 

9. Joy is not a crumb. Two things can be true at once. Two things can exist at once. Joy doesn't need to be tamped down because there is suffering in the world. If that was true, after the massive suffering we've endured and also caused through human time on earth, we'd no longer exist. So joy is not meant to be the crumbs that are left after everything else is dealt with.

10. Grace for myself and grace for others. There will be more bad days than normal this year like there were last year. People will forget things, I will forget things. We will disappoint each other. I'm giving myself and you more space. 

I tested these things out during my holiday oblivion period. I like how I feel mentally and physically. I'll keep on until I need an adjustment. I hope you're finding a way through that works for you.

Today, the Georgia way also works for me. Never forget this presidency and any possible change in the Senate was delivered to us largely through the blood, sweat, tears, ingenuity, and leadership of Black women. Recognize this and make sure Black women are in positions of leadership everywhere and paid what they are worth. 

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