Holiday Breaking

No profound statements to leave the year with (I started this post last week) in this post, although I did pull my NYD post from IG over here on the end. Otherwise I'm straight holiday break updating mostly as a reminder to myself of how I floated through the ether of the blurry days between Christmas and back to work on January 3 outside of weekend posts which I did keep up on over Christmas weekend and NY weekend.

WATCHED...as a person who does not watch much and is extremely inconsistent in finishing shows or movies I start, this is my crowning achievement

Baking It Seasons 1 & 2

A Christmas Story Christmas

A Christmas Story

Christmas Vacation

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery

Knives Out

Do Revenge

Succession Seasons 1 & 2

READ

Unnatural History (Alex Delaware #38) by Jonathan Kellerman

Wrong Place Wrong Time by Gillian McAllister

A Familiar Stranger by A.R. Torre

Started and DNF Secluded Cabin Sleeps Six by Lisa Unger

Started We're All Lying by Marie Still

PURGED & ORGANIZED

Linen closet

Nail polish

Two top dresser drawers that had become junk drawers

Christmas items

A bag and a bin that sat in my room for a year

MISC

De-Christmassed the house

Burned through all Christmas candles and resisted urge to replace immediately

Lunch with Melissa, Stephanie, and Stephanie

Long walk in the south end in OC

Booked my plane ticket to Atlanta where I'm seeing Bruce in Feb

Unearthed birth certificate and passport which will make Real ID acquisition and passport renewal much easier

Solar panels installed at shore

Soffit and fascia repaired at shore

Final four windows in the house replaced at the shore (this and the item above save me a trip to small claims court for a Feb court date)

Found out MFD's car is indeed totaled from the accident he was in a few weeks ago

Lots of resting and laying about

A new condo for Billy Cat at the shore since he could not see out of the new door

My top nine of 2022 from Instagram includes a super snowy early January 2022 OCNJ, my 45th birthday, Dana & Alex's wedding, Billy & Kristina's wedding, Sean & Nicole's wedding, rando we out here winter, MFD with Mister Softee, fall of the patriarchy, our 12th anniversary post

My New Year's Day post from  IG too - Plans for 2023: be more open about my love of lemon curd, start over on any thing at any time, do less, sleep in, visit Munich and Italy, travel light in every sense except in what I bring to the table in reciprocal relationships, age well, pick up more beach trash, turn my face toward the sun, read whatever amount of books I read, level up as a feminist killjoy, stop slouching, hear more live music, keep a finger on the pulse of my own energy, and lean in to fun and joy because goddamn life is short and time moves swiftly. Among other things

There are a lot of people out there trying to adjust to the absence of a person, pet, friend, routine, job, a better state of physical or mental health, etc., and new year sentiments can feel like a bunch of bullshit. Every day is the chance to start over, continue healing, make a change, or revisit something. Whether you like to do that with the turn of the year or the turn of a Tuesday, I'm rooting for you to heal, grow, adventure, experience, and lean into joy because our time here is short and no next day is guaranteed for any of us. 

I hope this year is everything you need. Cheers! Happy New Year! 

Happy birthday to my Aunt Sue today!

Mummers Day 2023

Happy New Year! Or Mummer's Day in Philadelphia. 

What's a Mummer?
http://www.pennlive.com/life/2016/12/mummers_philadelphia_what_is.html

https://www.pennlive.com/life/2019/12/what-is-a-mummer-history-meaning-and-more-behind-the-new-years-day-philadelphia-parade.html

What type of Mummer is MFD? 
For those who missed it last year, MFD is back with his first/family band, Uptown String Band (formerly Harrowgate) that he joined in 1989, which is now conveniently located directly across the street from my brother & Aubrey's house so I'll be heading over for the after party from there. Uptown is fifth out of 14 string bands. Their theme is Safari So Good and MFD will be looking like a zebra. This pic is from Evan - who needs a photographer? Evan Leslie Images is it

Stringband themes and order of march: Stringbands usually start around 12:30 or 1 on TV.

Uptown is supposed to be on TV around 2:10  so start checking in around 2 to see where they are schedule-wise if you specifically want to see them or a little earlier if you want to catch all the string bands - it's quite a production with the music and the costumes and props; and a time honored tradition to put a good show out on the street on New Year's Day. REMEMBER TIMES ARE APPROXIMATE, PARADE SOMETIMES RUNS BEHIND. 

This parade is MFD's 33nd parade (no parade in 2021). I hope everyone has fun, stays healthy, and no one is an asshole. Cheers to our friends in other bands!

For a guide of the 2023 parade, visit  
MrMummer guide

https://www.visitphilly.com/things-to-do/events/the-mummers-parade/

The parade is NOT on Channel 17 this year like it's been for the past 30 years. Here's how to watch:

TV: MeTV - Philadelphia Area

Comcast/Xfinity: 2 | 802

Verizon FiOS: 2 | 502

I have a Roku smart TV so I added the MeTV channel (69) and am watching it live

WFMZ live stream

Uptown Captain Stephen Caldwell explaining how to watch in video

Coverage begins at 9 am. String Bands are on a lot later. Uptown should be on just after 2. 

Cheers! Happy New Year!

TWTW - the one with the New Year

Friday I was wreath hunting and exchanging slippers early after painting my nails. At night I lit the bayberry candles for luck and made tater tot cups. Carol made mini crab cakes and we had delicious desserts. I finished a book literally at midnight and was asleep by 1. 

Saturday Happy New Year! The Mummers parade was postponed which doesn't happen often and feels really weird. I returned something to Marshalls and we picked up something from Sam Ash for MFD, then it was old school punch and pork and sauerkraut time. My pork was dry and I was not pleased. I always fuck up when I don't follow my nose. It smelled done 15 minutes earlier than I took it out of the oven. At night I made ziti for Sunday with help from MFD and Carol, and we nearly got divorced over couches that did not fit down the basement stairs. El Fin.

Sunday I was woken up at 7 am by someone telling me my new couches would be there within 15 minutes. Over two months earlier than they were supposed to arrive period. Okay then, screw that 8-12 window. So yes, there are four couches in the living room, a Mummers parade, and snow coming so there will be four couches in the living room for a few days. I picked up rock salt and filled my car with gas, changed sheets, and did four loads of laundry while MFD was off mumming. 

I watched the parade - loved less props this year - then I ran over to see MFD with my brother & nephew, and MFD's sister and nephew stopped in too. I said hello to a few people then took off for the shore to secure everything since snow was expected overnight, and it is delivering.  

Happy happy birthday to my BFF Laura today!

If this is the first time we're catching up this year, Happy New Year! 

Mummers Day 2022

Happy New Year! Or Mummer's Day in Philadelphia. I did not expect to be sharing this post this year for multiple reasons but here we are so happy happy everything! 

In Philadelphia, the Mummers are back this year despite coronavirus kicking it overtime BUT since the weather did not hold, the parade is rescheduled from Saturday, 1/1 to Sunday, 1/2. I'm hoping everyone stays healthy. I'll be watching on TV this year. If you are sick, please stay home. 

What's a Mummer?
http://www.pennlive.com/life/2016/12/mummers_philadelphia_what_is.html

https://www.pennlive.com/life/2019/12/what-is-a-mummer-history-meaning-and-more-behind-the-new-years-day-philadelphia-parade.html

What type of Mummer is MFD? 
Changing it up this year (after I thought we were finally done) - MFD is back with his first/family band, Uptown String Band (formerly Harrowgate) that he joined in 1989, which is now conveniently located directly across the street from my brother & Aubrey's house. The former clubhouse is directly across the street from MFD’s brother & Sarah’s house. Funny, right? The String Bands are the last division to perform and Uptown goes up third out of 14 string bands. Their theme is Better Maize Ahead.

They are supposed to be on TV around 1:20 but the parade is typically running behind (live stream link below), so start checking in around 1:15 to see where they are schedule-wise if you specifically want to see them or a little earlier if you want to catch all the string bands - it's quite a production with the music and the costumes and props; and a time honored tradition to put a good show out on the street on New Year's Day. REMEMBER TIMES ARE APPROXIMATE, PARADE SOMETIMES RUNS BEHIND. 

This parade is MFD's 32nd parade (no parade in 2021). I hope everyone has fun, stays healthy, and no one is an asshole. This is what he’s in today:

For a guide of the 2022 parade, visit  
PHL 17 parade brochure

https://www.visitphilly.com/things-to-do/events/the-mummers-parade/

To stream live - you cannot use Internet Explorer as your browser:

https://phl17.com/on-air/live-streaming/
https://phl17.com/mummers/live-2022-mummers-parade-stream-on-phl17/

Coverage begins at 9 am. String Bands are on a lot later.

The parade will also be live on PHL17's facebook page.

To catch some shots on Instagram:
Philly Mummers String Band Association (@phillymummerssba)

As always, I will post a pic of MFD so you know what type of costume to look for if you watch the live stream and he might be posting too (@lifeaccordingtosteph & @mikedoylesellshouses on Instagram).

Cheers! Happy New Year!

Seems that I was busy doing something close to nothing, but different than the day before

Happy third workday of January. How are we doing? 

I am not a resolution maker anymore, but I have set intentions for the year at the beginning of most years. I don't only do that then, of course. I've done that quarterly, monthly, weekly, daily. This year, my only intention is to stay afloat.

When I think about what that actually means, I can break it down as I see it manifesting in 10 ways in my day to day. If you like anything from this list and want to adapt it into your life, cool, but this post is not me advising people how to live at this time. My only advice is however you can. This is how I'm doing it right now. I am not here to take a positive piss in your cereal and hand it to you and tell you it's milk. I'm not here to read anything from anyone doing that either. 

1. One day at a time mindset. This is easier for me to grasp since I live with someone in recovery and am extremely familiar with the concept of ODAAT, but as a planner it was still a big change. I am in a 24 hour vision cycle right now. Tonight I'll think about what I'm going to do or not do tomorrow. I used to plan my days out at least a week in advance. That doesn't work in my life right now, so I don't do it.  On weekdays, this includes staying on top of work with a task breakdown and lists. On weekends, it includes whatever I feel like doing that day. Living more by feel. A planner with no plans. Life requires adjustments.

2. No guilt. There is no right way to live through a pandemic and massive societal unrest. I can sleep more, eat more, turn off the news more. Whatever I need to do that day to stay okay or get to feeling okay, that's what I'm doing that day. And okay? That is what I'm aiming for. I'm not looking to be good, great, or positive AF. If I end up being any of those things that day, cool. But my goal every day is to feel okay. 

3. As the title indicates, my day to day is not much different. My intention is have a routine, but make it flexible. I suffered through much of 2020 because I thought I couldn't have a routine at all and I really need a fucking routine to feel grounded. So as an example: I can use my time before work that would normally be my commute time to read, sleep in, walk, write, get something done, sit quietly with my dogs...anything besides sit on my phone and waste an hour on it before I even start doing anything else. 

4. Essentials of daily living - adequate sleep, proper hydration, and food. The first two are self explanatory, no? As for the last, it's a little more than just food...when I first started really cooking, I would try to find something cool to make. Then I fell into the I need to cook to live, here are easy things that I like. In 2020 most things I found creative joy in stopped - cooking was one of those things. It's coming back. 

5. Put the phone down. 

6. Work/life boundaries. Something else I did last year to my detriment is let work bleed over into my time. Sometimes that's the nature of the beast when you are on a deadline but it should not be common practice. I'd get up and just start working and if I didn't have anything happening at night (um hello when were things happening at night never) I'd keep working. 

7. Rest does not need to be earned. I don't need to be productive outside of working hours first before I earn the right to rest. This world is exhausting and demoralizing right now and I'm fucking tired. I know you are too. We can rest. We don't need to front. 

8. Get outside. I don't feel as good anywhere as I do outside. 

9. Joy is not a crumb. Two things can be true at once. Two things can exist at once. Joy doesn't need to be tamped down because there is suffering in the world. If that was true, after the massive suffering we've endured and also caused through human time on earth, we'd no longer exist. So joy is not meant to be the crumbs that are left after everything else is dealt with.

10. Grace for myself and grace for others. There will be more bad days than normal this year like there were last year. People will forget things, I will forget things. We will disappoint each other. I'm giving myself and you more space. 

I tested these things out during my holiday oblivion period. I like how I feel mentally and physically. I'll keep on until I need an adjustment. I hope you're finding a way through that works for you.

Today, the Georgia way also works for me. Never forget this presidency and any possible change in the Senate was delivered to us largely through the blood, sweat, tears, ingenuity, and leadership of Black women. Recognize this and make sure Black women are in positions of leadership everywhere and paid what they are worth. 

TWTW - welcome 2021

It's safe to say this photo collage represents my weekend/end of holiday oblivion break entirely: since New Year's Eve on Thursday I read a short story and three books (started a fourth), and watched 30 episodes of Yellowstone. What a fucking show. We are obsessed. 

Otherwise...

Thursday New Year's Eve was warm, and we took a family beach walk, then picked up some lunch and pie from Bennie's. We pre-ordered lobster dinner from Jon & Patty's. It was delicious. MFD did his year end donations and I was asleep before midnight for the first time in ever and it was awesome. 

Friday a new year dawned, Friday Five blog post is here. I made bacon and eggs for breakfast, we took a fucking cold and short lunch beach walk, drank a lot of peppermint tea and I made the requisite pork and sauerkraut while MFD did the mashed potatoes and corn. Blueberry pie for dessert. 

Saturday and Sunday run together. Sunday was Laura's birthday of course. Snacks were had. Leftovers. Tea. Dog Beach and our beach walks. My poison pin from Malena's Vintage Boutique arrived. Relaxing, watching, reading. 

Happy birthday again to Laura (yesterday) and my aunt Sue (today). 

This morning...if I was commuting, it would be akin to heading into the office full of promise and the train is broken down so you're an hour late no matter what. 

First day back at work since 12/23 at 1. Let's go.

Friday Five 1.1.2021

Happy New Year! Coming to you live from my couch at 9:56 am, wearing in my pajamas, lamenting my greasy face, listening to Women of Folk on Spotify, and admiring my nail polish. 

 

1. My actual full New Year's Day wishes can be found here - make people feel loved today and every day of this year. Love is so much more than partner, familial, and platonic love. There are so many ways to manifest human love. 

2. I'm bringing all the light I can into 2021, along with work/life boundaries, space for rest, grace for myself and others, walking, hydration, and very fucking low expectations. As you can see, I am bringing Friday Five through to 2021. Thursday Thoughts and TWTW have been staples of this blog since it was started in 2011, so they're coming through. Show Us Your Books of course, second Tuesday of every month. I'm always open to writing about anything else you want to read, and you are always welcome to leave a comment to that effect or email me lifeaccordingtosteph@gmail.com 

3. Bacon grease is life. Last night was the first NYE as long as I can remember that I didn't stay up until midnight, which then of course becomes 1 am once the dogs settle from fireworks, and usually closer to 2 as MFD is assembling his shit for New Year's. This is the first year in forever I'm not doing something associated with mummery on New Year's Day, and it's nice to not have to start the day tired AF, timing the beginning of dinner prep with parade shit (I use bacon fat in my dinner prep), invariably having to leave and barrel down 95 like a bat out of hell because MFD forgot something, and then coming back to finish it off. We eat pork, sauerkraut, mashed potatoes, and corn here on New Year's Day to usher in the New Year with luck. Do you have a standard New Year's Day meal? 

4. We should not be in a rush to return to what we considered normal that did not actually work for us - that wore us down, exhausted us, made us feel like the true enjoyment of life is only to be found at the edges of living. That is such fucking bullshit. How many of us realized how worn out we are, how tied we are to being cogs in the capitalist wheel? How overscheduled we are? How overscheduled kids are? All people big and small need time to just be, think, dream, imagine, play. Fulfillment is reached in many ways, but it starts inside ourselves and it's dangerous to look for it everywhere else, which we sometimes do instead of taking too long of a look inside because then we might feel like doing work in there. At the end of the day we need to be able to sustain ourselves. We're worth the work. If we stop fighting it and attempting to distract ourselves by running everywhere, being involved in every activity, doing everything, being everything to everyone, never saying no, being so rigid in traditions that having to alter them feels like the end of the world instead of an opportunity for something a little different or easier, participating gladly in the Cult of Busyness, and sharing it all online like exhausting ourselves to the point of uselessness is something to aspire to, we might find that we enjoy just being. Missing things, doing things differently, and not doing everything hasn't and won't kill us. Break the chains of the Cult of Busyness. 

5. Nails are OPI Do You Sea What I Sea? and Essie stop, look & glisten

I hope you have a great day and weekend easing into this year. Thanks for starting another one with me. 

Thursday Thoughts - deep way down in your heart you're burning, yearning for some-somebody to tell you that life ain't passing you by

Closing the door on 2019 with a new front door color - Modern Masters Tranquil. I loved the yellow but it was time for a change. I painted it on NYE and I'm pleased with it. I'll be more pleased after we put the new entry floor down this weekend.

Progressing in the basement as well before we closed the year out - a pipe was rerouted and new floor put down in the back room on 12/31. I need to finalize the paint color and MFD needs to prime and paint and then we'll be done for now down there. The entire rest of the basement needs attention on floors, ceilings, and walls, but it's fine for now.

Starting the new year with much less STUFF in the house since we did so much down in the basement to purge and donate and organize what remains. It feels so much lighter and so much better in my head. Still more to do and I need to get rid of some photo albums and box those photos but it's still a great start.

Mummering yesterday. Well, walking in basically a 10 block area up and down visiting while other people mummered but you know. Congrats to our friends in South Philly on first prize! I haven't seen it, but there were apparently two wench brigade members in blackface. The Mummers need to have a zero tolerance policy on blackface, period. Excuses or "two out of how many" are just defending racism. Stop doing it.

Eating leftovers. Our traditional New Year's Day meal is roasted pork on a bed of sauerkraut, mashed potatoes chock full of butter and heavy cream, and corn.

Buying nothing aside from necessities in January and February. I will reevaluate in March. No spend is on. Anyone else doing this? One, I don't need a damn thing and two, I don't need a damn thing. The only non-necessities on the list are a physical book a friend from school published.

Revisiting the 80s classics. Vincent has not seen many of them and he's been over so so far we've watched Dirty Dancing and Footloose, so of course the lyrics after Thursday Thoughts are Footloose by Kenny Loggins.

Loving the Wednesday new year. It's like a series of mini weekends. Two days of this week left counting today and that is totally doable.

Reading my first book of 2020, Forgotten Secrets by Robin Perini. I finished my last book of 2019 like 10 minutes before midnight. It was an Avery Black Mystery. I'm waiting for a shitload of books to come in from the library which means they'll all come at once.

Setting my Goodreads challenge where I've been setting it - 100. I like knowing how many books I've read in a year, but if I don't hit that arbitrary # that's okay and if I exceed it that's okay too. Reading is what I like to do in my spare time, not something to push myself on or be down on myself about because of some arbitrary number. I wish it was called like Goodreads Book Tracker or something because something about challenge makes people weird about it. They're books, everyone. Enjoy them. Also, it doesn't matter how many books anyone else has read. The amount you read and the speed at which you read is fine.

Painting my nails any way I please. This is OPI Made it to the Seventh Hill, OPI Red, and Essie No Place Like Chrome.

Digging the Women's March 2020 top three goals

Reminding all

Laughing at this because I don't pretend to like people. Civility and liking is different. I don't like everyone and everyone doesn't like me and we're all going to be fine.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Linking up with Kristen

Mummers Day 2020

Happy New Year! In Philadelphia, well at least in this house and many houses we know, January 1 is more Mummers Day than New Year's Day.

What's a Mummer?
http://www.pennlive.com/life/2016/12/mummers_philadelphia_what_is.html

https://www.pennlive.com/life/2019/12/what-is-a-mummer-history-meaning-and-more-behind-the-new-years-day-philadelphia-parade.html

What type of Mummer is MFD? 
He's in The Joseph A. Ferko String Band. The String Bands are the last division to perform and Ferko goes up 7th out of 16 string bands. Their theme is Mums of Liberty.

They are supposed to be on TV around 2 but the parade is typically running behind (live stream link below), so start checking in a little before 2 to see where they are schedule-wise if you specifically want to see them or a little earlier if you want to catch all the string bands - it's quite a production with the music and the costumes and props; and a time honored tradition to put a good show out on the street on New Year's Day. REMEMBER TIMES ARE APPROXIMATE, PARADE RUNS BEHIND.

Today is MFD's 31st parade. Best of luck to him & Ferko and all of our framily in other bands.

For a guide of the 2019 parade, visit  
PHL 17 parade brochure

https://www.visitphilly.com/things-to-do/events/the-mummers-parade/

https://www.pennlive.com/life/2019/12/philadelphia-mummers-parade-2020-schedule-route-and-more.html

https://www.inquirer.com/things-to-do/where-to-watch-mummers-parade-philadelphia-guide-new-years-day-2020-20191226.html

To stream live - you cannot use Internet Explorer as your browser:
http://phl17.com/live/

Coverage begins at 9 am. Stringbands are on a lot later.

The parade will also be live on PHL17's facebook page.

To catch some shots on Instagram:
Philly Mummers String Band Association (@phillymummerssba)

As always, I will post a pic of MFD so you know what type of costume to look for if you watch the live stream and he might be posting too (@lifeaccordingtosteph & @themikedoylegroup on Instagram).

Cheers! Happy New Year!