Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Shit MFD Said Vol 21

After a major spider freak out incident, MFD looks down at his feet
MFD: Meanwhile, I'm wearing these too small pink sparkly flip flops.
Changes flip flops
Me: Those are also mine.
MFD: But they don't sparkle.

MFD: Are you afraid of the garbage disposal?
Me: If I was a person who slacked in many domestic areas, I would probably not ask that question.
MFD: You never use it.
Me: Are you afraid of the dishwasher? Or wiping toilet seats? Going to the grocery store? Should I keep going?
MFD: I was just asking. I think some people might be afraid of the garbage disposal and wondered if you were one of them.

This month in I can't find it so let me contact my wife who is not in the house - please excuse the freaking autocorrects:
This month in Thermostat Wars - MFD insisted on turning the AC on and swore a humidity wave was coming and I woke up to a super cool morning the next day.

All read and approved by MFD before they go live...
Shit MFD Said Vol 1Shit MFD Said Vol 2Shit MFD Said Vol 3Shit MFD Said Vol 4
Shit MFD Said Vol 5Shit MFD Said Vol 6Shit MFD Said Vol 7Shit MFD Said Vol 8
Shit MFD Said Vol 9Shit MFD Said Vol 10Shit MFD Said Vol 11, Shit MFD Said Vol 12, Shit MFD Said Vol 13, Shit MFD Said Vol 14, Shit MFD Said Vol 15, Shit MFD Said Vol 16, Shit MFD Said Vol 17, Shit MFD Said Vol 18, Shit MFD Said Vol 19, Shit MFD Said Vol 20



    God sees and as a conjunction. Men see and as an impediment to their personal doctrines of salvation.

    Mark 16:16 He who has believed and has been baptized shall be saved; but he who has disbelieved shall be condemned.

    It is believed and been baptized. It is not believed only.

    Act 2:38 Peter said to them, "Repent, and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

    It is repent and be baptized. It is not repent only.

    Men like to rewrite God's word. Some exceptions to God's gospel plan of salvation, as assumed by men, are.

    1. If you believe but die before you are baptized in water you will be saved. (Scripture ref: NONE)
    2. All men that are saved, are saved by grace alone; because God forces men to believe, and men have no responsibility concerning their own salvation. (Scripture ref. NONE)
    3. Men are saved by faith only. (Scripture ref. NONE)
    4. God does not require men to have faith, repent, confess, and be baptized in water in order to be saved. (Scripture ref. NONE)

    Proverbs 16:25 There is a way that seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.


    1. FAITH: John 3:16, John 8:24
    2. REPENTANCE: Acts 2:38, Acts 3:19
    3. CONFESSION: Romans 10:9-10, Matthew 10:32-33
    4. WATER BAPTISM: Mark 16:16, Acts 2:38, Acts 22:16, 1 Peter 3:21

    All Scriptures are from God's word, as found in the Bible. (New American Standard Bible)

    All of men's opinions are found in creeds books, Bible commentaries and books about the Bible, that are written by men.


    1. Steve, welcome back. Relax, enjoy! The end is not near.

    2. Lol the end wasn't near enough as Steve has visited again.

    3. This comment has been removed by the author.

    4. Maybe his end is near. The Bible is an interpretation, Steve. There are many versions.
      Just do good, be good, don't judge!
      Steph's Momma

  2. I love that he said green was husband would SO do the same, lol.

  3. LMAO... "Are you afraid of the toilet seat?" REPENT MFD. REPENT I SAY....

  4. I'm not sure what he has against sparkly shoes, everyone needs a little sparkle in their life.

    Haha on the Wedgie suit, I'll have to check that category next time I'm shopping for a suit.

  5. I think some people might be afraid of the garbage disposal and wondered if you were one of them. LMFAO!

    And then there's the bonus "shit spammer commenter said."

  6. Wondered if you were one of them regarding the garbage disposal. Hysterical.

  7. What is it with guys and sparkles?! I's not the end of the world. All of these are great, I particularly like the one with the disposal question...just, no.

  8. So, are you afraid of the garbage dispoal?? hahah..that is so funny. There are people who are, I know someone who is. hahaha

  9. Lol it should be called a wedgie! That's what it looks like! Also, uncomfortable. I'm still laughing at "derka derka"!

  10. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! i love that he still grabbed your (non-sparkly) flip flops lol

  11. The bit about the garbage disposal is too funny! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

  12. The whole men not knowing where anything is or anything goes saga is confounding and never ending. We have lived in our house for almost 10 years, and Shawn still can't put away pots and pans in their correct locations. The way I've organized it, everything fits. But if he tries, shit is just stacked willy-nilly, falling all over the place. Why is it so hard?

  13. Hahaha are you afraid of the toilet seat? Touche, Steph! Also MFD is a brave man for having his read receipts on. Steve has made my morning. I have no idea why he visits you but damn, is he entertaining.

  14. LOLOLOL I love how he stands by what he believes - WEDGIE!
    But camera. Auto-correct. Sure. Maybe it was just missing the other T. You nasty freaks.

  15. Hahaha the garbage disposal one was my favorite--such a guy thing to say.

  16. WTF is that in the first comment?! Also the slippers not sparkling made me giggle aloud in my office. Thank God my door is closed!

  17. hahaha!! I love these posts!

    And I can fully sympathize with the whole husband who can't find ANYTHING so asks me where stuff is whether I am actually home or not. The struggle is real.

  18. Way to smack down that garbage disposal nonsense. I'm intrigued by Steve. I take it this has happened before?

  19. I agree with him about wedgies. why would you wear a suit like that?!
    hahah the garbage disposal. you nailed him on that one!
    but camera. haha

  20. hahahahahaha are you afraid of wiping down the toilet seat. hilarious. and the wedgies. oh my that is priceless.

  21. Wedgie swimsuits, ha! Amazing. We have similar issues with locating items: apparently females are the only ones able to look for and find things.

  22. This is the BEST! The wedgies. The flip flops. The green thing. The garbage disposal. All of it!!!
    Keep 'em coming. Keep making each other laugh. It's the best!
    Love, Your Momma

  23. The fact that we're on volume 21 just slays me. Love it.
    I gotta agree with him on the wedgie swimsuits!!

  24. garbage disposal - hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

  25. As usual I love these comments and conversations between the two of you and him wearing pink sparkly shoes!

  26. Wedgie suits are great if your ass is 16... if not just stop it. "Are you afraid of the garbage disposal"... I'm dying at the list that followed. So accurate! Steve has a thing for being your first commenter... someone has an admirer!!!!

  27. Hahahahahaha "If I was a person who slacked in many domestic areas, I would probably not ask that question. " Isn't that the truth??? I think Chris is afraid of everything in our house based on that theory. And at least MFD kills the spiders. I have to kill the spiders in our house. It is not my favorite task. Not even a little.

    To those who are single, be sure to ask if they will kill bugs! If not...keep walking! LOL!!!

  28. I'm going to have to co-sign MFD on the bathing suit wedgies, it's definitely an epidemic! And LOL at the thermostat wars - the struggle is real :-P

  29. Hahahhaha the wedgie thing is hilarious. And don't even get me started on men trying to find things in the house and not actually looking - it's the main thing we argue about. Can't they just look?

  30. OK - the first comment... you get the best ones ... & the replies are even better. haha

    I now want to know how many people in the world are afraid of garbage disposals.

  31. Your comeback to the garbage disposal question is my favorite!

  32. With the wedgie swimsuits, was he talking about thongs? Or just swimsuits that were creeping up the butt? Or suits that people pulled into their crack on purpose to get a tan on their ass cheeks? Because those people baffle me too.

    When I was little, one of my chores was to do the brother told me that there was a monster in the garbage disposal that would grab my hand and bite it. I believed him because apparently I was gullible to anything my brother said. So, I was one of those people scared of the garbage disposal. I was also seven.

  33. Hahah his final response in the garbage disposal debate is my favorite :)

  34. I don't even know where to begin!!! The are you afraid of the garbage disposal conversation is so Darren and I, only in reverse. I just did a lot of catching up and I have got to say you have had an incredible summer. You're inspiring me to get out and enjoy these last few weeks. Also I just bought the totes clear umbrella per your grateful list. I've been looking for a good one so I'm super excited!

  35. Wedgie swimsuits, love it. I love that there is a difference between green and teal, even if he doesn't make the connection. Nice try to save on the garbage disposal! Ha!

  36. I'm not sure what's more hilarious to imagine...MFD screaming girlishly or wearing pink sparkly flip

  37. They might as well be called wedgies, right?! Haha! Also loving your garbage disposal comeback :)

  38. I'm dying over the garbage disposal discussion! This also makes me feel much more grateful for my own husband, who does all of the things you mentioned (and more!). He definitely pulls his own weight (and, if I'm being honest, some of my weight as well) when it comes to household chores.

    Also … Steve. Again. Oh my.

  39. My husband is afraid of all of the chores. I however do have a slight phobia with the garbage disposal. I always wonder if it will attack me at some point and I'll lose a finger. I still use it though. Also the Green Thing vs the Teal thing. Bobby and I have these type of debates nearly every week!

  40. I love the doing the housework conversation. I feel like I have had a similar conversation a number of times with Kevin :)


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