Friday, August 23, 2019

Don't fall into the pushy parent trap

Happy Friday! My friend Sarah who last wrote about never being too busy to spend time with your aging parents is back with this parenting piece. If you are polishing your writing chops or have something to say or are trying to get into freelance writing and want some exposure and want to submit a post, email me! If you want to reach Sarah directly, email her. Have a great weekend!


Every parent wants the best for their kids. You want your offspring to be responsible human beings who grow up tolerant, kind, and thoughtful. You want them to find their place in the world, make an impact, and most importantly, be happy. So, why is it so many parents fall into the pushy trap? While most parents are well meaning, their quest for being the perfect mom or dad can result in an overbearing nature that does nothing but push their kids away. You might want the best for your child but you cannot force your wants on them or live through them. 


Most important of all is your ability to be a good listener. If you ask about your child’s school day, don’t then switch off and uh-huh their response. This shows a lack of care. Instead, ask your child how they are getting on every day and inquire about any hobbies that they may have. Just because you adored the debating society when you were at school doesn’t mean that your kid will. Rather than forcefully enrolling them and causing an undercurrent of resentment, let them choose their own path. If they want to join a wrestling team, let them. If they fancy trying out for the fencing society, support them. And if they want to learn a musical instrument, get them a free session. Listen and be supportive at all times.

Give Them Space
Being too pushy can result in your child feeling smothered. You might be interested in what they are doing, but that doesn’t mean texting them every five minutes when they are out of your sight. Instead, give them their space. The transition to teenager can be a tricky time, so tread carefully. They may not be old enough to stay home alone, but you don’t want to coddle them. Get online and search for the best babysitters when you head for a night out. You can specifically find those sitters who have experience with this age range rather than toddlers. Your kids will have a more pleasant time when you're out if they're treated appropriately for their age. 

Let Them Make Mistakes
While you may be older and wiser and able to spot their upcoming mistake from a mile off, you need to allow your child to find their own way. Storming in and telling them that they are making an error and should change their ways, whether this is with a relationship, a course, or a friend, will only result in them digging their heels in and rebelling. You need to bide your time and allow them to learn from their mistakes. They will emerge stronger and wiser. You will be there to listen and help them make better decisions in the future. By being supportive rather than authoritative you will avoid the pushy parent trap.

Being a parent is one of the toughest jobs you will ever have. However, it is also be the most rewarding when you see your child grow up to be one of the most wonderful citizens of the world.


Thank you Sarah! Happy weekend everybody! Happy birthday to my friend Jill tomorrow!

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