Friday, July 13, 2018

Likes dogs, incompatible with instant pots

One of my friends from work told me the Instant Pot was on sale a few weeks ago. I've avoided its siren song for years despite many friends loving it. During our conversation, we realized we both had Amazon credit from gift cards. After a frenzied discussion of all the glorious things we would make in it, we pumped each other up with the instant pot fever and impulse ordered them.

Before mine even arrived, I knew I was sending it back. No matter how much I want to be a person who uses an instant pot, I am not a person who uses an instant pot.

You know who uses an Instant Pot? My Fantasy Self, who I learned about from Steph. Your Fantasy Self buys or saves things your current self doesn't actually want or use. It's the part of you you wish existed but she fucking doesn't so stop getting things for her and get things for your real self.

I know myself and you know yourself. There are things I will adapt to and integrate into my life and things I will never use more than three times. I knew in my oven and stove top cooking preferring soul that the instant pot would fall into the latter. And at $90 on sale, I certainly wasn't keeping it around to test that theory.

So I returned it for a dog DNA test for Bruce Springsteen, because My Real Self absolutely is a person who uses a dog DNA test. He has super long legs and is much skinnier than a pug, with huge paws, a big face, and floppy ears. Anyone want to take a guess on what he's mixed with before we get the results back in three to four weeks?

The moral of the story: don't waste your money on who you think you are. Spend it on who you actually are. And if you fuck up and do the former, return it. Let there be no regretskies.

Peacing the F out to the shore tonight for a long stay. My dryer broke last night and I lost my fucking shit then this morning the water in my shower would come out the tub portion but not the shower head. Over real life right now. I've been Friday the 13th'd.

But people in the streets in London against authoritarianism and human rights violations along with the Queen of England suffering from bone spurs are giving me life.

See you at some point next week for TWTW and Thursday Thoughts, and they might be the same? We'll see. I will not resist the siren call of instagram so you can find me on my account & my shore instagram.

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