Friday, January 31, 2014

Friday Five - Another Steph's Irrational Fears Version

TGIF MOFOS!

Today my friend Steph from Not Entirely Perfect is sharing her top five irrational fears with you, some of which amuse me greatly, I won't lie. Like #2. Anyway, Steph is a Chicago girl always sharing great things about her town along with purging and organizing magic and easy recipes for insane cocktail cupcakes. She also puts her annoyances right out there like moi and loves lists. And we're both named Steph. DUH. When you're done here, go read her 10 Best Tools For Organizing Finances that's up on her blog today that combines organizing and money, two of my favorite things!
                         Visit Steph at Not Entirely Perfect Twitter Instagram
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Source
my number one biggest fear of all time is - lawn gnomes.  yes, i run screaming from lawn gnomes like most people run from moving spiders or snakes. (which, ironically, i have no problems with either of those.)  and it's because lawn gnomes, besides just looking creepy, also come alive when the lights go out and kill you in your sleep.  obviously this fear can be traced directly back to a particularly vivid episode of goosebumps.  damnit goosebumps.  because of you i have to change the channel every time those stupid travelocity commercials come on.  don't even get me started on gnomeo and juliet, i'd rather bite my own fingernails off than sit through that.  i've always hated dolls too.  these things with eyes that follow you - just get rid of them people.  you'll thank me when they can't come slit your throat at night.  and true story, i wouldn't even google a photo of a lawn gnome to put on here, that's how much they terrify me.
australia.  i cannot fathom why everyone has a burning desire to visit australia.  ignoring the fact that it was largely uninhabited until great britain started stashing its prisoners there, i watched the 10 deadliest creatures on the planet and pretty much all of them reside in or around australia.  while normally i don't have a fear of spiders or snakes, i certainly don't want to die at the hands of one you don't even see coming while vacationing in the land down under.  i'll just stick to outback steakhouse, kthanx.
elevators.  for some reason, which i actually do not know the reason behind, i hate elevators.  i deal with them, but only because i work on the 36th floor.  but somehow i've convinced myself, despite the fact that it's never happened, that i'm going to be trapped in an elevator for eternity.  before i get into an unknown elevator, i have to check the top and make sure there's an escape route, because apparently if i was ever trapped in an elevator i would instantly turn into Ethan Hunt in mission impossible and climb out to the safety of the floor above me after i pry open the doors, even though i have no upper body strength to speak of and a debilitating fear of heights.  i did title this post irrational.
flying.  although, perhaps this one is not so irrational.  people were not meant to be up in the air, otherwise we would have wings.  gravity is my friend.  it's not actually a fear of flying though - it's a fear of crashing, burning, blowing up, and dying.  totally different.  my mom makes me wear gloves if i'm with her, because i dig my fingernails into her during takeoff and landing.
corn mazes.  have you seen children of the corn?  it was filmed in iowa.  i don't know how you people do it, live where there's no streetlights and you have to turn your high beams on to drive at night.  shudder.  but specifically, i'm terrified of the corn mazes that pop during halloween.  haunted houses are fun and i'm all about things jumping out at me, but corn mazes aren't too heavily guarded.  a real serial killer could sneak in the side and chase you with a chainsaw, and you're going to realize just a little too late that that chainsaw has real blades on it.  no thank you.

so, irrational things that could kill me is what i'm afraid of.  one of these 5 ways, that's how i'm going out my friends.  any bets on which one it'll be?  what are you irrationally afraid of?

-Stephanie www.notentirelyperfect.com
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Linking up with Joy as always

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Thursday Thoughts: You know I'm pissed off if...


  • I'm hangry. Hungry + angry. It's a real thing and you do not want to see the demon hell witch I become when I'm hangry. I make the Exorcist look like Tinkerbell.
  • Your kid is freaking the fuck out in a restaurant for an extended period of time and you don't ask to get your check and food to go. 
  • My pants are tight at the waist or wet at the hem. Both of those things incite me like red incites a raging bull.
  • Alex Trebek is speaking, acting like he knows the answers when he's reading them from a goddamn card.
  • I'm waiting in line anywhere for longer than one minute. You can tell if it's been longer than one minute because I'm rocking back and forth, tapping my foot, shifting whatever I'm carrying around in my arms, looking pointedly between my watch and the person who's causing the hold up, and sighing audibly. If you see me somewhere in line and I'm doing these things, for the love of God save yourself and stay away.
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  • You're late to meet me and the excuse is not death or accident.
  • You've made me late to something and the excuse is not death or accident.
  • I have to double back and drive somewhere twice. 
  • People are bitching about the State of the Union interrupting their very important TV programs - do you know how many people around this world are under the thumb of a dictator? Stop complaining about democracy. 
  • Anyone asserts that women should not make the same pay as men for any reason, especially reasons like they've had maternity breaks in their careers. I will not waste time debating equal pay or arguing with you, I will simply hand you your ass and send you on your way. I don't want to fucking hear it. I'm fed up. It's 2014. Equal pay, now.
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  • I hear about stupid assholes who think they're entitled to other people paying for their lives. True story: my friend Emily showed me a link to a fundraising site where the people set up a page because they have a lot of weddings to attend this year and also have a kid to raise. They were asking people to contribute so they can afford to go to everything. Are you fucking kidding me? Fundraising sites are not for raising money to attend social events, you fucking peons. If you can't pay you don't go. If you can't afford to have kids, you don't have them. You are not entitled to do whatever you want to do and expect the world to fund it. You asshole. 

Lay it on me: __________ pisses me off.

Super bowl this weekend! If you're looking for stuff to make, I suggest jalapeno popper dip, hoagie dip, pickle dip, and bacon double cheeseburger dip.

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Wednesday, January 29, 2014

January Recommendations


Welcome to the first installment of my monthly recommendations! In the last week of every month, I will give you my recommendations and some sponsors will give you theirs in their own words so you can get to know them a little without me editorializing like some devil wearing Prada. Anything goes and it can run a little long so headers are bold for you skimmers. Links to blogs, twitter, and Instagram are provided. Follow these ladies if you're so inclined! I read them daily.
1. Purse organizers.  I have a Pouchee and that sucker is genius.  Somehow, I carry many things in winter - chapstick, lotion, hand sanitizer - and purse organizers are the best way to keep everything in their separate areas and easy to find.  Plus with a Pouchee, I can switch purses in 2 seconds.


2. A french martini.  Classic, girly, delicious. Strong.
3. Empire Records.  I'm disturbed there's so many people who haven't see this movie yet.  Please change that, you won't regret it.

4. Pocket hand warmers.  They make foot warmers too.  If you're in the part of the country that's freezing right now, stop by the drugstore and get the pocket warmers.  They work wonderfully!  Anything to help, right?

5. Learnvest App. My favorite new app (that's not candy crush) keeps track of your spending and lets you set up budgets and debt repayment schedules.  For some reason, I'm great at sticking with this app (unlike Mint), it's working well!
1. Organic argan oil - Those who have dry sensitive skin NEED this in their life. Especially during the brutal winters where the heat will wreak havoc, the argan oil is a non-greasy, easily absorbed oil that your skin will love. It is filled with fatty acids and vitamin E and penetrates into the deeper layers of your skin, which in turn will simplify your skin routine since you won't need as many products to keep your skin hydrated because this will do it all!

2. Working out first thing in the morning.  Let's face it - after a long day at work and bullshit commute home, the first thing you want to do as soon as you get home is take off your pants and bra and drink wine. Heading to the gym is NOT something you will ever want to do.  But working out first thing in the morning will set your tone for the day - you will be refreshed from a good night's sleep, you will feel badass all day, energized all day and sleep like the dead at night.
3. TV shows -  Arrow, The Blacklist, Graceland.  
Arrow: I binge-watched this over the holidays and WHERE HAS THIS BEEN ALL MY LIFE.  Not only is the main character Canadian (from Toronto, HOLLA!) he's hotness and the workout scenes will give you a major boner and the story line is also really good.  

Blacklist: I know you're with  me on this, Steph.  While i was never a huge fan of James Spader - even when he was an 80s popular brat - I am in this show.  He's so amazing as Reddinigton in a creepy, John Lithgow kinda way.
Graceland: Again, binge-watched this over the holidays.  Government agents living in a secret beach house called Graceland, it's espionage, hilarity and intense drama all wrapped up in a 1 hour treat.  Get on this.

4. Manuka Honey:  If you want to kick a cold's butt quick, get this.  It's hella expensive but so worth it.  melt some with lemon juice and kick your cold's ass.

5. A steam cleaner. Since stumbling upon my old purchase of this steam cleaner over the holidays, it's made cleaning so simple and I've ditched 95% of all chemical cleaners.  Steam cleaners clean and sanitize  naturally all in one shot - clean smarter people!!

1. Books - Lone Survivor (haven't seen the movie yet)
2. TV - American Idol and The Goldbergs
3. Movies - Drinking Buddies and 2 Guns
4. Blogs - of course Not Entirely Perfect, and Liz's: fitnessblondie.blogspot.com
5. Music - Give Me Back my Hometown by Eric Church, Drink a Beer by Luke Bryan, Helluva Life by Frankie Ballard, and I Hold On by Dierks Bentley

1. Z: A Novel of Zelda Fitzgerald by Therese Ann Fowler. I'm intensely interested in tales of Hemingway and Fitzgerald and other writers of this era communing with artists both in America and in France. I was totally into this book, and sometimes it was hard to remember that it was fiction. Which is weird, because I typically don't read or enjoy nonfiction books, even biographies. This felt like a look into the days of the much storied Fitzgeralds, and I liked being nosey. I enjoyed The Paris Wife for the same reason.

2. OdoBan. If you have a dog who marks, you need OdoBan. Lori told me about it, I got it, and it removes all odors. Nothing lingers. May I die after inhaling it? Sure. Is it worth it to eradicate the smell of marking? Yes. Normally I'm all save the earth, but not when it comes to pee. Sorry. 
3. Baby spinach. In everything. I just want to add it to everything, and eat a million salads based in baby spinach. You can also add a bit of sauteed spinach to almost any meal, and it's really great for you. 

4. Glass water bottles from Target. They're pretty durable, and if you're still afraid to break them...be careful.

5. Organic coconut oil for your dogs. If your dogs have coat issues or skin allergies, put a teaspoon of organic coconut oil in their food once a day and you will see a difference in their skin and coats within four days. 
There you have it. I hope you found something in here that speaks to you, and I hope you visit Steph, Kathy, and Cassie and follow along on their blogs. 

A special happy birthday to my cousin Tiffany today! Have a fabulous one. 

Toodleoo, mofos.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Turkey Rice Soup


If I come to dinner at your house, I am going to help you clean up. It's just how I am. If I just enjoyed a turkey dinner at your house, I am totally going to motion to your turkey carcass and say, "You're not going to throw that away, right?" If you are going to throw it away, I'll ask you kindly for two garbage bags and I'll be taking a turkey carcass home with me like a distant relative to a redneck.
There is nothing in the world like soup that starts out as stock made from a carcass. Nothing. This is the soup I made from the Sannelli Christmas Turkey Carcass.
Ingredients
48 oz turkey stock (I make homemade - see my stock process and ingredients here, it's the same for a turkey)
turkey meat to your taste - I use about a cup and a half
5 carrots, not peeled, sliced into coins
2 TBS olive oil
1/2 onion, diced
1/2 cup celery
1 tbs minced garlic
1/2 cup - 1 cup frozen mixed veggies
1 can corn
salt & pepper to taste
1 cup rice - I used 3/4 cup brown minute rice and 1/4 cup white regular rice. I wanted to use wild rice but I was fresh out.
Directions
Preheat oven to 425. Toss carrots in 1 TBS olive oil, sprinkle with salt and pepper, and put on a baking sheet. Roast for about 25 minutes. The roasting ends a depth of flavor to the soup. Remove and set aside.

Heat 1 TBS oil in a soup pot. Add onion and celery and saute over medium for about 5 minutes. Add garlic and let it go another minute or two.

Add stock, carrots, and frozen veggies to pot. Bring it up to a boil. Add rice and turkey and let cook for 12 minutes. Add corn and cook another two or three minutes. Add salt & pepper to taste.

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Haikuesday:
It's post-soup nap time.
Tryptophan makes me happy.
Rock a bye baby.
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Two must reads for you today: 
Steph's walk down obscure 90s TV shows memory lane. MFD insists I look like Brad from Hey Dude in profile, and I do. Go jog your memory.

Tomorrow: January recommendations. 

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Monday, January 27, 2014

TWTW - Last one in January already?

Two grocery stores on the way home Friday night, hausfrauing like a boss, 
and the first two episodes of True Detective.
It's like a combination of The Killing and Low Winter Sun.
I liked it even though Matthew Mc's accent in the present day scenes was hard for me to understand.
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Breakfast with Bill on Saturday and surprise surprise, more snow
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Exercise via new zumba DVDs, an early birthday gift from Lori
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DoTerra Essential Oils info session by Holly, hosted by Erin, a friend from high school, 
at her gym MPR Endurance. Mom and I found it very interesting. 
I've been looking to replace OTC meds with essential oils. More on that once I start. 
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Dinner at The Pub with the Sannellis - it hasn't been remodeled in like 40+ years.
I loved every speck of it. 
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Known for their steaks, I got the biggest porterhouse imaginable and ate it all. 
The resulting meat sweats and skipping lunch were totally worth it.
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I love Sunday mornings with these three, puttering around in pajamas. 
Me in pajamas, not them.
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Weekly food prep: savory oatmeal for breakfast, fruit and raw veggies for snacks, turkey soup 
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Zumba sculpt & tone. I love these DVDs, they don't bore me and 
I can zone out and look like a fool zumbaing in the privacy of my basement.
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Reading: Margaret from Maine by Joseph Monninger
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Sunday dinner: balsamic pork in the crockpot, wild rice, roasted carrots with thyme, spinach salad.
Recipes to come, if you're dying for any now, let me know.
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Dad and Carol joined us for dinner and dessert - apple something with vanilla bean ice cream.
Not exactly a crisp since it started out in the crockpot and ended up not crispy.
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More reading and Downton Abbey
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Did you enter to win a $25 Lush gift card from the wonderful Steph at Insert Classy Here? She was gracious enough to include me and Lush is really awesome so you should really, really try to win it.
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Tomorrow: turkey rice soup.
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