Snippets of the weekend 9.26.2022

Errand and house stuff weekend: returning some of the bathroom reno stuff we are not using. Looking for other bathroom reno stuff. Trolling HomeGoods to get some ideas. Ordering the remainder of the light fixtures for the shore. Nailing down the scopes for the shore work happening in October. Acquiring more Halloween items. blah blah life administrative shit

I'm trying Essie treat love & color polish to address the hideous state a bad gel polish manicure left them in in the beginning of July. This is my second polish cycle with it and they feel better. This color is punch it up.

I had an impromptu dinner with my brother, Dad, & Carol at the Rover Friday and saw Aubrey and the kids after as I grabbed a shower there. I drove out to the Media area on a beautiful fall Saturday to celebrate Beth and her bride to be - super setting, met some good people, and the food and cupcakes were delicious. MFD and I used a big gift card he's been holding to have our 12th anniversary dinner at Del Frisco's on Saturday night.  The food was delicious as was the people watching. The city was busy and that was nice to see. Lots of backyard time. I finished a book that was dragging and read an excellent one. We watched so many old Parks & Rec episodes and got Santucci's Sunday on our actual anniversary.

In addition to snippets here, I've been doing weekending reels on Instagram if you are interested. 

The first weekend of fall is over. How was yours? 

Friday is the new Thursday here

Friday might be the new Thursday for me here. Thursdays are always my most packed day and the chance of being prepared for a blog post on them is not realistic at this time, and we do like to deal in realism here.

First day of fall swooped in and ended with cooler temps and no humidity and we are here for it. Today is crisper than I'd like but we get what we get and we don't get upset. I hate heat, humidity, and bugs but love swimming in the ocean and longer days so summer is up in the ranks as I age. Last year for this door, the new one is on order and should be in by Thanksgiving.

My favorite season of all of course is the fall of the patriarchy, and that is year round. Solidarity ALWAYS with women who want choice in what to do with their bodies, if and when to have a child, what to wear, what not to wear, how to act, who to be, and the ability to live freely wearing and doing whatever they want without fear at any time of the day or night. Solidarity ALWAYS with those who live outside of the heteronormative in any and all ways constantly battling the patriarchy as well. Government, the state, the world, patriarchy, men, misguided religious fanatics pushing their religion on others, & other women gatekeeping patriarchy can all fuck off and stop telling people how to move around in this world and when. Let people fucking live and get a life of your own to worry about while you're at it

Yunizon Kickstarter on Sept 27!  Please take a minute to click through to the Kickstarter preview to see what Yunizon is about and please please consider showing up for them this Tuesday, September 27 by pledging to buy a pair or three of glasses and sharing the shit out of the kickstarter when it goes live so they can amass the amount of backers they need (follow them on instagram and facebook). The fit is great, the new collections are excitin, and I'd love to see them fully funded! Support a small women-owned business, of which one of my BFFs is co-owner. Congrats Kim & Bec & best of luck! All pics below are Yunizon's from their IG stories. Herc and Veros are unlocked options if they hit a certain fundraising goal so let's do this because I want Veros! I'm going to go for Amba and Andy on the kickstarter. 

12 years married on Sunday. 20 years together this year, although the top pic is from September 2003 because I can't find any from September 2002. Then of course September 2010 and this September. This concludes the anniversary post for this year (I typically do better ones, see here but we're not doing what we've always done just because we've always done it at the moment). I'll throw a reel together LOL. MFD's aunt and fam are upstairs in our shore house this weekend and Mom and Rich are in our apartment, so we're celebrating up here and making good use of some long-held gift cards. Anyway...we still out here.

Philly bathroom reno progresses. Our house in Philly is covered with a fine layer of dust but there's a tub in, walls base of walls and floor are in, electrical re-routed, plumbing done, light over shower installed, exhaust fan installed and vented out, HVAC re-routed out of the shower. And I have a car full of shit to return and may be popping in to use your shower if you are local to me. LOL I'll be home for about a week with no access to a shower. Knock knock, Motherfuckers!

Curiosity and the cat. Billy Hicks got into the access panel (which was off) behind the tub last night and was in the ceiling. He spent quite a bit of time in there, and after coming out to eat the tuna I used to lure him, he was intent on getting back in and pried the put back into place access panel away from the wall. I heard the crash and could get up there before he got back in since I had a basket in front of it. What a dick.

Grooming Day with Doggie Do's Mobile Salon Family via family, and they are great. Convenient and less stressful for the doggos, which is less stressful for you. Lower Bucks area peeps, they are accepting new clients! Support another small, women-owned biz, save yourself from dog bath and nail day, and visit them on the web here. Ben was rolling with happiness after his turn - he was first to set an example for Bruce, the Gretchen Wiener of the group.

Have a great weekend! Sticker from an artist via South Street Art Mart

Happy birthday to Jenny today and Amanda Sunday!

TWTW - the anniversary one

Friday The day looked promising with coffee on the porch and a trip to Dog Beach at lunch where Mae started to flag, so we spent the afternoon at the emergency vet (UTI and dental coming). I caught some sunset action from the house. I was in bed by 10. MFD arrived with Gus and Billy Hicks at some point after.  

Saturday I was up so I hit the beach for sunrise, it is still way too peopley on weekend mornings.

MFD got me my desired pepperoni bagel from Wawa. He was working so I hung out and read until about 1 and also did some sorting and fall shit in the house upstairs. We spent the afternoon at the beach and the weather was perfect for us to spend the day reading and fishing and doing nothing to celebrate our 11th wedding anniversary. We topped it off with topo chicos on the porch, Gus pooping requiring clean up, and we both fell asleep on the couch. Very on brand all around for us. 

Sunday I was up at 5 then went back to bed. I was roused around 9 and we had breakfast at the OC Surf Cafe for the first time since 2019. It was our second time eating inside a restaurant since March 2020. We hit a new thrift store - O Sea Thrift - on the way home, then porched it upstairs in the afternoon. I made breakfast burritos to freeze and took off with the dogs for Philly around 4. Back there, I cut all the shit out of the flower beds, put a few of the yard Halloween shit out, then picked mums up from Jen's girls' dance fundraiser & chatted for about a half hour before heading home and re-potting those. I did a few loads of laundry, ate the coveted Trader Joe's hatch chile mac & cheese, and fell asleep on the couch around 11 to accommodate the old man dog. 

That's that on that. 

How was yours? 

We're going all out for 11

When it comes to weddings and marriages, I'm not a traditionalist so I'm not surprised I love our wedding eve photos more than our wedding photos, which is a lot because I love those too. But wedding eve photos from our photographer Lil and a few from Jenn are what you see here today. I feel like I got to enjoy the 9/24/2010 wedding eve more than the 9/25/2010 wedding day. Today, 11 years ago, we headed to Ocean City to take photos just me and MFD in literally all the boardwalk spots we frequent now that we semi-live here. I loved that. 

We took pics with our people on Strathmere beaches before doing a quick rehearsal at the Deauville.

My in-laws hosted a big spaghetti dinner at my request at their rental, which had a big ass yard that was perfect. MFD and some others went out, but I went back to our rental, let the dogs out on the beach and we stood out there for a bit, and went to bed. 

I loved that day, so much. Our wedding day was great too, but it was really the whole weekend for me and wedding eve was a huge part of it. It's the unsung hero that gets no love.

As you have surmised from this, tomorrow is our 11th anniversary. I don't mean to brag, but I'm going to. Since tomorrow is our 11th wedding anniversary, this month we are together for 20 fucking years, and we've known each other for 31 years...we went all out this year. 

I got MFD a root canal and possible extraction thanks to my health savings account. With a little help from nails too close to the sidewall, he got me two new tires on my new to me car that we have only had for two fucking months. And as a joint gift, we splurged on an emergency vet visit for Mae and are going to follow up with some sure to be pricey as fuck dental work for her trash mouth. We might top it off with some ramen for dinner tomorrow, and I don't mean fancy photographable pho, I mean Maruchen. The traditional 11th anniversary gift is steel but unfortunately since I am not a traditionalist as stated above, I did not steel myself for these. 

I definitely struck obey from the wedding vows, but we did keep for richer or poorer. And we know where this particular anniversary lands. 

In all seriousness, we are fortunate enough to be able to cover undesirable unexpected expenses even when they pile on each other in a quite rude fashion and we've weathered another year of good, bad, and everything in between together with our people by our side minus an important few no longer with us. And we really cannot ask for anything else in this life. 

Here's this year's collage of photos of us from every month of the last year - see this anniversary collage in 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019. 2020. 

L-R: 

1) September 25 - last year's anniversary we ate at a restaurant for the first time since March, Ike's outside on the boardwalk. 

2) October - my cousin Kristine's wedding

3) November - A warm day on the beach with just Gus

4) December - New Year's Even warm walk on the beach, the first time we've spent New Year's at the shore

5) January - Our usual photo is New Year's Day, always...except when there is no parade due to a global pandemic

6) February - Snow on the beach

7) March - the joy of working from home together for a year at this point

8) April - Warm day on the south end

9) May - We are voters, and when we can we vote together

10) June - This day was windy AF so we retreated and had lunch instead

11) July - Spent the Fourth weekend at the lake with Lori & Jack

12) August - Skyline Drive in Vermont

13) September - Double headbands, a rare occurrence, and in a who wore it better contest of headbands, I lose every time

Happy 11th Anniversary Eve, MFD. Thanks for the expensive gifts. 

And happy birthday to Amanda tomorrow!

And happy weekend to the rest of you!

2020. 

TWTW - the mostly lazy one

Friday I was supposed to be off for our 10th anniversary, but ended up working until 4 and MFD did as well. He did get us breakfast sandwiches from Bennie's and we hit the beach together at 4. We ate out at a restaurant outside for the first time since March 16 (Ike's on the boardwalk, the Deauville where we got married was over an hour wait for a table outside) and got Kohr Bros pumpkin and walked and had a nice and relaxing night. Check out those beautiful sunglasses from KVSR's company Yunizon though. They are Vamp medium in shimmering crystal mint and the frames are freaking gorgeous. This is a great small, women-owned business to support and I'm not just saying that because it's my BFF's company. Check out their mission and values. 

Saturday MFD left before 8 to get back to Philly. I picked up laundry and books on hold from the library and took the best friends to Dog Beach. We got caught in the rain. The afternoon was a beaut though so after lunch and finishing a book I hit the beach with my sister-in-law and the kids down for our nephew Drew's 16th birthday. I lolled around at night and read. 

Sunday Mindy and the kids left early and I read and walked and did some purging before running errands to HomeGoods and the grocery store. I made salmon and mushrooms and onions in the air fryer, read, and sat on the porch for much of the night. 

I am planning to do some food prep this week - breakfast burritos, power breakfast muffins, deconstructed chicken parm, and some air fryer chicken breasts are all on deck, probably happening today. 

How was your weekend? 

Show Us Your Books Five Year Anniversary: October 2019

Five years with this linkup.  That's a long time, especially in blog life. If you've joined Jana and me with a post of your own zero times, one time, or 60 times; if you've read one book a month or 15 books a month, if you've found someone in this linkup who is your reading mirror or if you're still looking for someone to talk books with outside of here, if you've read these posts and commented every time or read them and commented never, thank you. I love reading communities, especially ours - there are no rules aside from the must love books rule, and that's really more a way of life, no?

To celebrate five years, we're giving books away to five people: a book from your wishlist, something you've read and would like to own, something you've been dying to read, physical books or kindle books, books to read with your kid, something that's coming out in the next few months you'd like to reserve a copy of so it's delivered as soon as it hits the shelves, a book to give as a holiday gift, whatever you want, as long as the book(s) you want total $15 or under per winner (i.e. one book for $15 or four books that add up to $15). There will be five winners. Enter here: 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Here's what I've been reading since the last linkup.

Buy it links are affiliate links and buying through them supports this link up - earnings over the last year helped to cover two of the prizes in today's giveaway. A year of affiliate links yields under $30...no one is getting rich off of this shit, believe me. Well, I'm not anyway LOL

Engrossing Reads

Ask Again, Yes by Mary Beth Keane - I loved this book during and after reading it and I closed it without being able to articulate exactly why. I liked the writing and really loved Kate and quite a few of the other characters even though it felt written to give the reader a peek-a-boo look into the characters at different points in their lives rather than a serious character study. Ocean City library hard cover     buy it

Her Silent Cry (Detective Josie Quinn #6) by Lisa Regan - Still residual annoyance of one of the main characters but mostly back on track. Free e-copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review    buy it

Passed the Time Just Fine

The Bones She Buried (Detective Josie Quinn #5) by Lisa Regan - I liked and hated this book. One of the main cast of characters completely rubbed me the wrong way and I wanted to put it down but since I knew more books were coming I did not. Philly library paperback     buy it

Bethlehem by Karen Kelly - I chose this book because it would be geographically familiar to me. I think it wanted to be a sweeping epic and it wasn't that but I still enjoyed it. I'm not sure how much of that is due to familiarity with the area. Ocean City library hard cover   buy it

The Art of Inheriting Secrets by Barbara O'Neal - This is by the author of When We Were Mermaids, which I fucking loved. This book was not as searing or deep but I enjoyed it nonetheless. Paperback, own      buy it

Not Worth It

White Lies by Lucy Dawson - No. All of it. I finished it and I'm not sure why. I picked it up on a whim from a display and my good read radar was off. Ocean City library hard cover

Did Not Finish

What have you been reading? 

Linkup Guidelines:

This link up is the second Tuesday of every month. The next linkup is November 12, 2019 

1. Visit and comment with both of your hosts, Jana & me, and check in with as many in our reading circle as you can - give some love to the later linker uppers! 
2. Link back to us in your blog post - if you want the button you can get it from that link

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

Nine lives

Today we are nine years married. This month we are 17 years together and have known each other for 29 years. 

It is true that while the days are long, the years are short. And different. Every year is different. 

Last year our anniversary fell a few days after losing my father-in-law, a few months before an election but over seven months in on the daily exhausting stress of running for office while trying to maintain a life and still like each other. Spoiler alert: not always successful. 

We didn't see each other for more than 20 minutes on our anniversary last year. MFD was campaigning then over with his Mom and I was pulling photos for his Dad's funeral service DVD. And that was...fine. Seriously. We already don't do gifts, and for a lot of years together we didn't have money to go out to even a halfway nice meal. I have zero expectations and would rather he fold laundry than get me a card LOL. I don't expect him or myself to be in a celebratory mood every year. Statistically over the long haul, that's not possible. And that's what this is, the long haul. 

But traditions die hard so I made us take a pic like I do on every anniversary. This one is at the end of a tiring day in the midst of an absolutely draining year. I'm glad I did. It's good to remember what we've gotten through together.  It's nice to look at this photo today and know we both feel a million times better than we did on this day last year. 

Not every day or year is full of celebratory cheer. Things change. We ourselves go through big changes. We lose loved ones and gain them. Circumstances arise and through it all we need time to individually adjust and to adjust as partners. As there is to everything, there is an ebb and flow and while obviously preferring the flow, I try to honor both because we need that ebb to adjust back into a flow. The river is wide and it is long and it forges the path it needs to take. 

If you ever see me out here acting like life is but a dream, know I have been body snatched. I would never put the pressure on myself or MFD to appear perfect or perfectly married so we can portray ourselves that way online. I’m not putting all of my business out there but I’m also not in the business of distorting reality. None of us are perfect and none of us have a perfect relationship but I do hope if people want to be tied to someone, that they find the person that is perfectly imperfect for them. 

Here's this year's collage with much less stress on my face than last year's because there’s more flow - see this anniversary collage in 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018. 

L-R: 

1) October - The only photo we're both in from last October. Thank you for joining us Melissa! 

2) November - Thanksgiving weekend at the shore, less than a week after getting our newest dog John Bender from a rescue

3) December - Christmas Day

4) January - New Year's Day

5) February - Shopping together is not one of our favorite things

6) March - Back to the shore for my birthday. Our house opening gift was a hot water heater that was broken and would take three weeks and numerous parts to repair

7) April - Good Friday

8) May - Taking our photo for Ruth & Pete's 60th anniversary

9) June - Bike riding and beach walking 

10) July - Family vacation in Emerald Isle

11) August - back to relaxing weekend days when MFD wasn't working - him fishing and me reading

12) September - more of the same

This year has been one of redefinition. Last year changed us as people and it changed our relationship. Who are we now? Where are we going? Where do we want to be? We're still figuring that out individually and together and enjoying ourselves.

Happy Anniversary MFD. This year has been infinitely more relaxing than last and that has been fucking amazing. 

Happy happy 40th birthday to Amanda! Love you!

bronze, pottery, linens, lace, eight

The eighth wedding anniversary is traditionally one of bronze and pottery gifts, modern interpretation is linens and lace. I googled that to get a title. We don't do anniversary gifts period, let alone ones in the construct of tradition.

Our life together has not been traditional in any way, why would the gifts? Today is eight years married. This month is 16 years together and 28 years of knowing each other. 

It's been a long time since I looked through wedding photos. As you can see, I took a shortcut on downloading some and the resolution is shitty but frankly I am too tired to go back and do it properly. 

We had fun that day. The few people who work at the Deauville that also worked there eight years ago still talk about the Mummers playing and said they've never seen anything like it. We were surrounded by great people that day and have been every day since. 

This year has been hard - down a dog last September and just this weekend a Dad, added stress of running for office and everything that comes along with it, life a bit in limbo, seeing each other for 10 minutes a day most days and even Shit MFD Said has suffered from that time loss, trying to be warriors instead of worriers, trying to keep shit together, but always showing up for each other and still laughing together. Still surrounded by great people. 

Here's this year's collage - see this anniversary collage in 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017

1 - 9/25/17, we did nothing but lounge at home last year; 2 - October 2017 at the Peace Center Gala; 3 - November 2017 at the Pancreatic Cancer Walk; 4 - December 2017 late on Christmas Day after a full day out; 5 - January 2018 an unseasonably warm day for a creek cleanup; 6 - February 2018 on Super Bowl Sunday after an Eagles win; 7 - March 2018 on my birthday seeing Bruce on Broadway; 8 - May 2018 an ice cream after a day of shore chores where we nearly killed each other (I actually have zero photos of us in April) 9 - May 2018 voting for MFD on primary day; 10 - June 2018 one of four times MFD joined me at the shore for a day or two; 11 - July 2018 seeing America in concert; 12 - August 2018 - he was working and campaigning on the phone but he was ON the beach most of the day, so I considered it a win

Happy Anniversary MFD. I look forward to another year of non-traditional life with you...but maybe a little more relaxed than this year has been? Lol.

Happy happy birthday to Amanda! Love you!

Two if by sea

Yesterday was two years of living the dream. It's weird, right, to commemorate the day you bought a house? It's more than that to me though. It was a life changer on that day two years ago, and it still is now. I remember throwing the dogs into the car and roaring down there immediately, crying most of the way, and never looking back.

I meant to log on and post a few photos to commemorate the occasion. Then I thought well I can just do a quick month thing. Naturally, it got long and out of hand. By the end I was like derr it's not a quick thing. So much of my life is lived at the shore. During the week our house at home feels like a way station where we do laundry and wait to go back to the shore. And by we I mean I because MFD works most weekends and now has mummery so he's not always getting a day in down there.

We didn't spend a lot of time down there after mid-October last fall because we were in Ireland and Scotland at the end of October/beginning of November, spent Thanksgiving at Lori's, and then MFD was out at Standing Rock in December. Then I had a Saturday work event, then holiday parties, you know the drill. We closed the house up earlier than normal, but I did see one last sunrise down there.

Popping in on a 74 degree day in February for a house check and beach run.

I planned to spend my 40th there and it fucking snowed, delaying the house opening more than a week. I was in a big snit. We didn't open it until March 24, and that was molasses like because we had the Covenant House sleepout the night before. Regardless, the dogs were happy to be back at the beach and so were we.

April was an ass kicking month. We replaced the railings on on apartment porch, removed old carpet there and painted the concrete, painted the wood on that porch and the upper porch, painted the two bedrooms on the third floor, got rid of a bunch of old furniture and fashioned new tables and lamps for one of the rooms up there. Lola did an egg hunt that was crowded as fuck, we spent Easter there, and a very hot April weekend with the girls. I had my first Kohr Bros of the season and got an Ocean City library card, which made my life.

May started out shitty with a Nor'Easter. And painting. Always painting. Staircases, trim, touch up paint. Two new air conditioning units, new carpet on the top floor, new contact paper on the wall up there, and the discovery that Luigi's was under new ownership and would become one of our favorite restaurants. Memorial Day was cold with the exception of Sunday. Like, wearing knit hats on Monday night cold.

June was my brother's birthday and doing the rides with Lola, a visit from Mom & Rich and trip to the Deauville, my 40th weekend with my girls, an ill-fated trip to Fortescue and the attack of the green flies from hell, late Saturday nights fishing in Corson's until the light died, late lingering Sundays spent down in the North End, and settling into summer weekend routines with the start of the weekly rental season.

July 4th fell on a Tuesday and that week was the most nuts I have ever seen the shore even though the weekend before it was so cold we were all bundled up on the boardwalk. On the actual 4th I sequestered myself in our apartment until it was time to go home. We were away for two weekends and Michelle held down the fort, then the last weekend was a major monsoon event so I sent MFD down to do turnover and stayed home.

August was new lamps, new homemade soap with soap labels, new cushions for the porch chairs upstairs, new beach cart, a college reunion, Marla sighting, cousin time, fireworks, Friday afternoons off, a surf show on the boards, and actual surfing for MFD.

Sweet, sweet September. The end of the weekly rental season. The time to reeeee-lax. And this year, the time to say goodbye to sweet Geege. It was also the Classic Car Show and the Corvette Show, new bedding, new lamps, new carpet on the steps, MFD's 40th over Labor Day, an extra long weekend at the end of September that felt like summer, a trip to Cape May, riding on the new roller coaster, and the meeting of Bruce Springsteen.

And here we are in what is technically now our third October. We did the Block Party and Laura and Chris came for a quick visit. Bruce Springsteen loves the beach. I am pretty set on an every other weekend at the shore schedule from now until whenever we need to close it for the season, which is only when the pipes are in danger of freezing. Otherwise we layer up and use ceramic heaters.

As I looked over these pictures on a little walk down memory lane for the past shore year, I alternately thought I can't believe this is my life/this is my fucking life and I love it.

It still feels like a dream a lot of the time. The battles with VRBO do not, however. Our listing is still up there but I'm hoping to switch full time to Shore Summer Rentals in the future. We have three weeks rented for next year, which is awesome.

And I have a library card. And favorite restaurants. And we know shop keepers. We are building our community there and I love it.

People remark that it seems stressful at times. And it is, sure, specifically the hours between 10 am and 3 pm every Saturday in the summer. Even that is mostly self-inflicted, because it's about me wanting things to be perfect for people checking in even though I know perfection is an unattainable illusion. But the minuscule amount of stress is worth it a million times over.

See one year anniversary post here.