I got up, and I'm glad I did as always. I noticed how different the ocean looked from yesterday afternoon, and how lucky I was to see so many different faces of this ocean over the past year. I thought a lot about what this past year has meant to me. It has meant and been so many things. Euphoric highs as I cruised down the Atlantic City Expressway late at night, Bruce Springsteen blaring; hard knocks, when I learned something the hard way in a year of home improvements; the absolute joy of having a place for all of my beach stuff where I can leave it and never bring it home; a deep, deep appreciation for those who helped us out along the way with hard labor and those who understand when we aren't places we would normally be or doing things we'd normally do; minor anxiety with a dose of humility and a side of lessons in patience, kindness, and live and let live from a year dealing with renters; the security in knowing I never need to leave my dogs home; the great feeling of sharing this space with framily. It has been amazing with the highs far outweighing the lows. It has all been so, so worth any frustration or worry I've felt along the way.
If I could go back in time one year, I'd tell myself that it would be different, watching those sunrises now, but in all good ways: I have a beach cruiser to ride down now, and I bring my coffee and a mat and I have a little bag everything goes in. But that feeling of waking up at my own shore house to see it? That is the same. It does not get old. It does not go unnoticed or unappreciated.
And if I could go into the future, to next year and the year after and on to infinity, it would be to give myself a nudge - to make sure I'm still grateful, that I still remember what a dream comes true feels like, even if we had weather issues that took a toll on the house or renters that drove us insane that year.
I'd also tell my past self to chill the fuck out and that everything would be fine. Hell, I'd tell my future self that too because you can never tell yourself that enough. We were fully rented for this summer by the end of January and really had a great first season. People treated our house well and they were nice. And we're already booked for four weeks for next summer before the end of October.