Friday, December 23, 2022

For the rest of us

Happy Festivus, my friends! A Festivus for the rest of us!

I'm not going even listing any of the serious grievances I'm avoiding here, which I listed in the 2021 or 2020 Festivus posts because again, say it with me, so many are the goddamn fucking same. 

So the Airing of the Grievances below are petty. The Grievances List can not be exhaustive since time is short and there are so many petty annoyances. 

- iPhone created typos. Why does it capitalize shit all the time?
- dogs can’t tell you what’s wrong with them
- pet hair
- having to clean the base of the toilet near the floor
- cracked lips
- buying something I already had
- forgetting shit at the grocery store
- drool
- dirty stovetops
- I can’t get the hang of replacing the bag in the litter genie shitbox 
- having to think of what to cook all the time
- lack of international airfare deals 
- crumbs on the counter
- the construction on Rte 1 near Neshaminy 
- 95 through Philly period
- needing reading glasses and not having reading glasses with me
- having reading glasses stashed in multiple places 
- commercials being so fucking loud
- early dark
- contractors you have to take to small claims court in order for them to finish the job 
- taters instead of potatoes
- maters for tomatoes 
- parking at large events like concerts and games

Now you go. 

Then Feats of Strength. Until you pin me, Festivus is not over. 

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