Wednesday, February 2, 2022

Some living conditions in my optimal existence

Groundhog Day for years at this point some days, am I right? Let's list things. Some of the living conditions in my optimal existence include

Windows open, no heat or air conditioning

Always in proximity to a clean bathroom

No petty bitches like character flaw petty bitch, only isolated I was petty today incidents

Four day work week three day weekend as the standard with everyone on earth experiencing an actual work life balance that is healthy and true

Term limits for all politicians and you have to pass an American history and government test to be one

Humid enough for my skin and throat to not be dry but not so humid I can't breathe and am sweating, shiny, and annoyed

Kindness over niceness

Produce that lasts until I'm ready to use it

No traffic anywhere, ever and also no trash on the ground, no pointless graffiti (no pointless graffiti, yes street art), and no unpicked up dog poop piles

Social media channels only work from 9-5 then they go to sleep until the next day

People in a hot hurry to exit trains and planes first would be met at the threshold with an invisible clothesline, falling to the ground and rolling around unhurt but in confusion, clutching at their spilled belongings while everyone who filed out in an orderly fashion like you should breezed through

Little bit of sun, little bit of shade, plenty of time to while the afternoon away on the porch

Returning from a beach walk with a little bag of treasures 

Adult zits are not a thing

Not a peep from the entire trump family, forever more

Never having to put gas in the car, clean baseboards or showers, waste food, or deal with water damage or car repairs

Lipstick that stays on until I wipe it off

A HomeGoods section fully stocked with interesting and beautiful things to peruse 

An endless to be read list - I'd rather die still reaching for new books than scat around for something suitable

Cuticles that maintain themselves

Outdoor showers every day 

The wealth gap cut by 60% 

Obvi equality, equity, safety, free and easily accessible A-Z healthcare including mental dental eye and substance use disorder, food, clean water, shelter, a halt to climate change and a habitable earth we don't allow to be destroyed for money, bodily autonomy, freedom, and joy for everyone in a world where people are fundamentally good. Also the death of systemic racism, garden variety racism, patriarchy, fascism, anti-Semitism, xenophobia, homophobia, ableism, all the other shit that turns hatred outward with a focused lens and makes life harder for other people, war, self harm, domestic violence, the 24 hour news cycle, uncomfortable shoes, and the videos where people lip sync and writing is on the screen

Too much to ask?

What are some of your optimal living conditions?


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