Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Realizations from being away every weekend

Our dogs would prefer living in a place that has no steps.

I'm not worried letting it be known at least one of us is not home most weekends. Anyone looking to rob us would be sorely disappointed as there's nothing left in our house at home to steal since all of our money goes to the shore house and we have left that house just struggling along with no goods and no maintenance. And we have no cares about that.

I am happier in our efficiency apartment than I am in our three floor row home at home or the three floors of the main house at the shore. Even when the main house is empty, we don't stay up there. I do use the kitchen upstairs at the shore though when it's open.
I am outside much more in a place that is extremely walkable and has an ocean.
When I can walk or bike to get food for the day, I don't mind going to the store daily. If given the choice I prefer to drive nowhere.

When we make time for relaxing, we are more relaxed.

I could survive on less than a third of the clothes I have. I wear the same things every weekend without a care.

I don't  need all the stuff I have deemed necessary. I spend most weekends without any of it.

It is easy for me to disengage with real life. If I don't reply to texts immediately it will take me days to remember there was a text in the first place.

The concept of home feels a lot more fluid than it used to. For most of the year, my primary residence feels like the place I crash, do laundry, and get my mail delivered to and the place where I spend weekends feels more like home in my heart. If both places are home, am I really away from home every weekend or just home in a different location?  



22 comments:

  1. Hell yes for small space life. I had some similar realizations when we were in London for two weeks -- and I came home and promptly decluttered even more, which I've been doing non-stop for about 2 years. So few clothes are needed, really, even less so when you're not working in an office.

    I find myself walking much more just to walk now in the city too. I thought I'd miss driving, but it's such a relief. I chalk it up to the beautiful buildings and my love, Riverside Park. My old NJ town was walkable, but the views I have here make "just because" walks way more fun (and working 100% from home makes them way more necessary, but that's beside the point).

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  2. I think home is just a relative word and it has a different meaning to all of us. Where you feel most yourself is where your home is in my mind. Being at the beach on a regular basis like you do with the shore house is a dream of mine. I would love that! I always find I need way less than I actually own when I live on essentials only.

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  3. These are all great realizations. I'm jsut glad you have this place where you can be relaxed and leave the stresses of driving and "stuff" behind.

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  4. I loved reading this-- I've also found that quality of life is more about where you are vs the things you have.

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  5. This is interesting, so I have a follow-up question. Now that you have the shore house, and leisure has taken on a bigger role in your life, how do you find that has impacted your career/work life?

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    1. Aloha! I go to work every day same as always and want to be a full time shore person same as always, even before we bought this house. Now I do have the ability to work down there some days, and if I want I can commute there if I don't mind an extra 45 min to an hour added on to my day. Have wifi, will work, you know? My job is such that I am required by deadline or being the only person who can do something to have to work on my days off or at night or on weekends sometime. I balance it as best as I can with blessings from my boss. I work for a great company.

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  6. Totally just another home in a different location - how lucky you are!!!!
    You can probably understand why people can do those little homes. The less you have & the more you can get out & enjoy your surroundings & not worry about STUFF, the happier you are.

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  7. Home is where the heart is❣️ You are balancing beautifully ❣️ Being in OCNJ is a dream come true. Love being able to easily walk so many wonderful places. Thanks to the universe for our awesome lives.
    Love. Your. Momma.

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  8. I totally agree about walking or biking anywhere - I would never drive my car, if given the option ;)

    Meg, Borrowed Heaven

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  9. I'm reaching many of these realizations in my own life. In one way, I wish it hadn't taken this long to get to this point - but then again I'm also thankful for every one of my life experiences that have brought me to where I am now and what my current realizations are. The concept of 'home' isn't a building with 4 walls and a roof -- it's fluid and different for everyone.

    And my dogs would prefer no stairs too. Until then ... I will continue cleaning the poop off the deck when their sorry little legs don't want to go down out into the yard.

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  10. I am very much a now or never type person when it comes to texts & such. If I don't reply right then I probably never will...

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  11. Growing up I remember my dad making a HUGE deal out of days he didn't drive anywhere. He loved it and it was such a big deal to him. Now that I know the life of commuting and driving to stores and the endless errands, I understand why days like that were so relaxing to him!

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  12. I'd have such a hard time returning "home" if I had a weekend home that felt as cozy and comfortable and relaxing as yours. When are you just gonna pack up for good and live the shore life? ;)

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  13. Home is where it feels like home, and that can be more than one place! The only place I have ever lived in for more than a year and a half is my parents' house and that has never felt like home. I spend more time at the office than my house and that does not feel like home. My pup would give anything for a world without steps, its painful to watch her try. I love your little piece of the shore, it looks cozy and perfect!

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  14. I love how much time you guys spend outside! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

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  15. I think if I had a weekend home I'd never want to leave :)

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  16. Very self-reflective.

    We're in the process of buying a second house and I'm about to come to these realizations.

    Honestly, where we live, people know who everyone is and if someone odd pops up and tries to steal something when we're not home, they'll probably get shot. Everyone knows everyone else's vehicles and habits in the country.

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  17. I feel the same about not worrying about the house while telling people we're away. Hawkeye is home then either and she's all that matters, so go ahead and steal the TV, we don't care!

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  18. It feels weird to think about retirement when we're still this young, but are you just dreaming of the day when you can live at the shore full time? I think I would be!!

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  19. I love that your shore house feels like home! I would love to go to the store daily to pick up fresh food and ingredients just for that day. Sometimes I really hate suburbia.

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  20. Homes sweet homes, each serving its purpose!

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  21. I had to LOL at the disappointed robber comment. I have the same feelings about my house, even though we aren't gone like you are. There's just not a lot to take that most people would value.

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