Wednesday, June 1, 2016

I love you, but...


I love you, but I can't read another formulaic weekly link up blog post even if I read every other post you put out there. Sorry friends, but this goes for anything with confessions (how's that for a confession? lol) or Friday favorites in the title. Look, I get it. We all need our standards to fall back on. I always post TWTW on Mondays and Thursday Thoughts on Thursdays and I've done both for five years. Many people have asked me to do linkups of both over the years and the answer has always been no. I do not want to spend two days a week reading the same shit, my own included. It is entirely possible to bore even yourself. I can totally get down with monthly linkups where most blogs I read are similar that one day. But weeklies where the blogs I read are all similar two to three days a week, every week? It's like Stepford, everything runs together and I can't distinguish. So I just started to x them out when I see the titles. I'm not saying don't write it...I just can't read it like some people can't read weekend recaps. I used to participate in weekly linkups, and they are an awesome idea I love at first until I've boxed myself in and instead of switching it up I churn out the same shit every week. My content sucked. Repetition hides personality and I read blogs because I love small details and seeing personality through writing. I'd rather read one paragraph of something true to you than a longer post comprised of canned, impersonal stuff. I always tend to like something people feel worthy of writing about even if the subject itself doesn't interest me. There is a passion to real content that is lacking in formulaic writing. Blogs feel very basic and rote to me right now, like they're being written in patterns or because they have to be written or are supposed to be written, not because they want to be written.

I love you, but I can't deal with people who act like they are the only people in history to ever suffer from allergies and that theirs are the worst, you don't even know.

I love you, but I can't spend a lot of time with anyone who is unable to exist in comfortable silence. If you have to talk constantly, I will be cursing you in my head until I tell you outright that I just need silence then it will be awkward and it doesn't need to be awkward. Just shhh sometimes.

I love you, but if I pull up your Instagram and five out of the top nine block of photos is you, I'm scratching my head a little, thinking every single day, the photo you most want to share is one you're in?

I love you, but what you can do with snapchat filters doesn't amuse me.

I love you, but I want to know what you thought of the book, not read your summary of it. Other people are paid to summarize it.

I love you, but I will never join you in an adult coloring session. Sell the relaxation angle to someone else.

I love you, but if you're watching YouTube videos audibly, I want to punch you.

I love you, but I'm not the person you come to if you need someone to sugar coat it.

I love you, but if you need everyone in your life to agree with you, we won't be friends.

I love you, but I need you to take the time to check your spelling and grammar.

I love you, but if you are voting for Trump, we can't discuss it because I can't have a rational discussion about it.

Anything you can't stand, even when people you love do it? 


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46 comments:

  1. Holy shit! I just got finished telling Nadine that I am so unreliable when it comes to weekly link-ups. I've pretty much decided that any of those weekly ones that I've participated in...that I'm just going to pick a week of the month and participate monthly (even if they are held weekly). That way, I feel like I can give some content. Like when I participated in a confessions a few weeks (a month) ago, confessing to examining my alcohol abuse. Or another time, my confessions post was about the reasons that I enjoy book challenges.
    I was actually expecting you to end this with "I love you, but I don't really 'love' you." ha

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  2. Snapchat filters are my favorite - it amazes me that the technology can figure out your face like that! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

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  3. I am beyond guilty of the link-ups, especially during the school year. I agree with them getting tiring to read though. I pretty much do the Monday & Friday ones so I can have a way to remember what the heck is going on in my life. I used to read through multiple ones in the link up every single time but now I pretty much only read the ones that belong to the people I already subscribe to.

    Also, I cannot stand when people can't deal with silence. I like conversation as much as the next person but sometimes I just need quiet, or what we're doing doesn't require talking, & I get stabby when people won't shut up.

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  4. LOL... Yes to all of this, particularly people who can't stop talking and exist in silence. ;)

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  5. I'm a big fan of this post :) I, too, cannot have a reasonable discussion about Tr*mp. And while I consider myself to be an open-minded human, I will judge you to hell and back if you admit to me that you support him.
    I appreciate comfortable silence, too. My family AND my in-laws don't really do silence... it drives me batty. Haha!

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  6. I like to do the weekly confessions post because I try and make it about things that are happening, but in a fun way. But I can see how it can be boring and monotonous when everyone is doing the same things.
    I may fall victim to being some of these, but I'm definitely not a Trump supporter lol

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  7. I feel ya on this even though I am so guilty. I probably have 25 drafts of posts with original content and not link ups sitting in my blogger. I struggle with how much to share and what people really want to read anymore. I can't with the dumb snapchat filters, I only use the ones that make me look airbrushed and pretty...not like a pig or a puppy or a strawberry.

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  8. Ahhhh, I love this! But... (just kidding) I used to read linkup posts and gradually it's just gotten old. There aren't things to "confess" every week so usually it's just random thoughts and nothing substantial. And I don't really do weekend recaps or trip recaps, and I have no clue why. I feel like I should be interested in people's lives, but unless something crazy happened or they're a good friend, I'm probably not.

    My Instagram is mostly my dogs, which I'm sure annoys some people as much as selfies annoy others. Instagram doesn't bug me quite as much, but it definitely gets to me on Facebook when I see someone's face in my feed every other day because they uploaded a new selfie profile pic. Your face didn't change in those 2 days! I still know what it looks like.

    I have close friends that do all kinds of shit I don't approve of. We just spent the weekend with smokers who, while respectful of us and the space we were all staying in, don't care about littering and I HATE watching them flick their cigarette butts into the street (though to be fair, they usually try to find a trash can). I also have friends whose homes are a mess, who keep the TV on all the time, and who pull their phones out to talk to other people when we're hanging out.

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    1. Oh! And YES to your point about not just spitting out the book summary from Goodreads or Amazon. Do not care - I can look that up on my own. Tell me what you thought and that'll help me decide whether or not to read it.

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  9. I love you....but I hate that you're constantly checking your phone for texts or your FB newsfeed when you are with me...

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    Replies
    1. I hate the constant check-in too. Post a pic if you want but then let it go!

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  10. Amen on the one about books. A-fucking-men.

    I do enjoy a coloring book but I'm not going to force it on anyone else.

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  11. I love you but I can't understand why we're not snapchat friends already???

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  12. I can get behind most of those, though I do love me some snapchat filters.

    I love you, but it makes me uncomfortable when you post photos of your children in a bathtub or not fully clothed. People are perverts and the internet is forever (even if your profile is "private")

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  13. I love you but- not when you steal my hair manes. Agree on many of these. Especially The Donald. I love your younger brother but- not when I have to keep reminding him to do his thank you notes. Jmj ugh! Very, very few of your blogs are boring. I love when you pour your heart out. No blog comes close to yours. I may be a bit partial lol. June 1. Summer fun to all !
    Love. Your. Momma

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  14. Amen to all of the above. I should send you a pic of my mom's coloring stash, it's legit ridiculous with markers and colored pencils and the books and I'm like, lady, you have NEVER liked coloring, what are you thinking?!
    Along with allergies, mine is migraines. If you are posting on social media about how bad your migraine is, YOU DO NOT HAVE A MIGRAINE. If you had a migraine, you'd be locked in a pitch black room in an ice bath crying to yourself and awaiting a swift death.
    I checked my instagram, only 2 of the top 9 have me in them ;)
    Oh and my two, specific to John - I love you but... it takes 5 extra seconds to fold a towel decently and hang it back on the bar and it takes 0 extra seconds to put the dishes in the (empty! always!) dishwasher than in the sink.

    And, obviously, WORD on point #1. I'm so uninterested in blogging lately. Like the number of blogs I read regularly has dwindled so quickly and I don't know what the problem is. It makes me not want to blog either. But I'm confident if I do something obnoxious, you would tell me. I don't link up to stuff out of sheer laziness, but the only one I like to post regularly is my 3 on Thursday. And even that isn't every week if I don't have 3 things. I think I would like confessions if it were once a month maybe, like how it is with monthly goals posts (which I find super interesting even if it's a goal I would never do, just because they're so personal to the blogger), but not every week. I feel the same about weekend recaps too though. I never read them. I actually do read yours, but I'm sure you notice I've never commented. I just have nothing to say. It's why I generally try to make my Chicago posts 'here's something you can do if you visit!' rather than 'look what fun I had this weekend in a city you don't live in.' But overall, I think I don't mind if you have 1, maybe 2 if you're a daily poster, fall back, link-up type posts each week. As long as you have better content on the other days, I can deal. If you're posting the same formulaic shit every day and so is everyone else, I won't come back. There's just nothing interesting there.

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  15. Bloggers who don't understand the difference between review and summary will someday get a dictionary in the mail from me. I have trouble reading some of the SUYB link-ups because of that.
    And weekly link-ups are too much work. I might join in one type once a month because I like to make it count and doing something each week, as I've found, doesn't always make it count. At least my past link-up didn't have a formula :)
    For me it's: I love you, but please stop airing actual personal grievances on your blog. I just can't with that.

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  16. Haha, you know I love a good rant. I totally agree with you on adult coloring books (UGH, stupid trend, sorryyyy), Trump (DUH), excessive selfies (I'm a selfie supporter but if your whole feed is of you.... #NarcissistCity), & listening to anything on your phone audibly (people do this on the train and it drives me BANANAS). I personally am not a fan of weekly blog segments because it does feel forced. I do my rants whenever I have some to post - if I did it EVERY Monday they would suck because I'd have to struggle to come up with some. I also have an issue with blog poss (mostly weekend recaps) that cover too much ground cause I'm at a loss on what to comment on.

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  17. Hmmm, I can relate on many topics. I really thought we might be friends with the same person on Facebook, re: the "allergies are killing me" post. Every. Friggin. Day. Checking in at the doctor's, using the same phrases.. SHUT IT, LADY. The talkers that don't know how to can it.. Hey, I like to chat too, but someone who can't sit in silence and must talk my face off? Not a fan. I love that you're so honest and put it all out there. Also glad that you mentioned the book reviews - I've been posting some, and really thought I was doing it wrong, because almost all of the ones I've seen, summarize the plot, pretty much like you're reading the back cover. So glad I know now.

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  18. You have already gotten all of my commentary on this so no need to comment but I will anyway because this comment section is the highlight of my blog day. Copious amounts of thumbs up emojis to point one. No one is confessing that much stuff, sorry, but unless you are OJ coming to enlighten us with what really happened, then let's call those posts something else and have fewer of them. I just checked my IG and 4/9 have my face in them, oops, but I am a rare IGer period so that's been since March 11th. And they're at least all with different people and not three pics with booboo in the same day :) Snapchat stuff should be kept on snapchat and yes to the Trump thing. I just can't even try to understand any of that madness.

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  19. Oh my gosh - those snapchat filters are just going through my brain.
    I was just thinking about blog posts myself after seeing a spot on GMA about a mommy blogger saying how fake blogs are & I thought about where its so easy to fall into the routine posts - & while I do a few myself, it made me really want to just go back to posting about daily life. Real stuff.
    It does seem like blogs are more about advertising & reviewing & I'm like you, give me your real life.

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  20. I struggle because the linkups are where I get the most readership and visits but I totally agree on the annoyingly similar content.

    Also, people that talk to think (as opposed to those like me that think to talk) drive me CRAZY!

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  21. There are some link ups that I just do not read. I'll just mark the blog as read and move on. There are some blogs who's link ups I love to read because I love the blogs and I know they are real, but some people...nope marking that as read. I do link ups sometimes, but not every week...
    And Donald Trump...ugh...yuck. Sadly my parents are voting for him and I just can't even talk to them about it.

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  22. OMG to Lauren's comment because i totally know who she is talking about! Haha! Blogging got really boring with the same linkups all the time, though I did like Friday favorites. Heck NO to Trump. I am also someone who needs silence at least a good portion of the day.

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  23. I have zero desire to discuss why anyone is voting for Trump. I will NEVER agree or understand, so its best to just leave it alone.

    I do love screwing around on Snapchat with Jack though....

    Like Lauren said above, I am super creeped out by some of the pictures people post. Potty training kids sitting on the toilet? No no no. Tub pictures where I can see ANYTHING? No. I just was texting with friends this morning about a mutual Facebook friend who posts pictures of her 14 year old daughter that make me really uncomfortable. She looks like she is making sex eyes at the camera all the time and the shoes she wore to 8th grade graduation, holy hell. Be 14, not 24.

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  24. Oh boy. I really can't agree with you more on the first one. I love the people I follow, but these rinse-repeat linkups just don't do it for me. I'll click into some sometimes, but I can't commit to reading weekend recaps, confessions, and favorites every single week. Nothing personal, but like you said, I prefer the "real stuff" that comes out when you ditch the formulaic posting schedule.

    Agree about silence too. I talk a lot, but I also know when words aren't better than quiet. Comfortable silences are the benchmark of solid compatibility, I think.

    RE: Snapchat, the face swaps especially have got. to. stop. It's bad enough that everyone's snap story is a face swap, but when they save the photos and also post them on Instagram and FB? No. It's not that funny.

    Last point...preach.

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  25. I love you but... no, just love this post! ha. Love it a lot.

    I too get a little tired of the weekly same posts. For sure. I more so don't even get how people are able to do those same link-ups once a week - often more than one designated weekday. I'm so all over the place with my blog (probably part of my problem, ha) that I could never commit to a weekly post. Ever, ever. For instance, one that I do like reading and seeing is the "weekend recap" posts but I could never get my sh*t together regularly for that as I'm often doing stuff late until Sunday. But yes, monthly? cool. Weekly? le sigh... But I (like you) genuinely read blogs because I love hearing from real people and the canned posts do get tiresome. Then again, I'm sure many people think my blog posts suck many days.

    lol about the comfortable silence! I think it's the mark of true kinship or friendship when you can. The closer I am to someone, the more I can do it. If I'm not fully at ease, I often wonder if we should be talking? I'm quite happy when uber drivers don't talk to me just because I like to gaze out (though most of the drivers that do talk are delightful).

    I don't get when people's instagram is like all selfies but that's just me. Lauren Conrad is one of the only gorgeous celebs I see who has an instagram that isn't HER every post. Not that I don't love seeing pics of people (I totally do), but yes, like you - I like them broken up!

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  26. I love you for posting this! Yes! This is exactly why I post things once a month (like confessions or favorites) I mean I feel like people have to run out of things to say if they do the same post on a weekly basis. Also, I get when people post photos of themselves on Insta everyday if it's to show off makeup or something but otherwise, yes I mean break up the monotony some! Great points!

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  27. I will absolutely complain about my allergies but I certainly don't think mine are the worst ever.

    RE: book reviews, even though I link the title to Goodreads, I don't expect readers to click on it for every single book so I will often give a one or two sentence blurb as to what a book is about and then they can decide if they want to know more. I have a hard time just going straight into a review without a little intro.

    Could not agree more with people who can't be silent. Good thing Aaron isn't that way.

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  28. I love you America but if you elect The Donald I'm movin'.

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    1. Ha! I'll actually be out of the country until the day after Election Day...perhaps I should make contingency plans.

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  29. I cannot get on this adult coloring book shit. No appeal for me whatsoever.

    I'm going to start changing up my Friday link up post titles in order to lure you in and think you're reading something else. Ha! ;-) Just kidding.

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  30. I can't stand it when people can't just exist in a comfortable silence either! It should be easy to do, but for some people it's not!

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  31. The audible you tube - I can't stand it! I am sandwiched in between two kids listening to their you videos while I'm waiting here for my daughter in dance. Hasn't anyone heard of headphones? I always make my kids wear ear buds if they want to hear what they are playing/watching in a public place.

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    1. It makes me crazy! I can't believe grown adults sit in public and don't use headphones.

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  32. I've unfollowed people who mostly post selfies, and commented that if I wanted to see Snapchat pics, I'd join Snapchat (which I haven't, and won't). As for your first point- quite the confession indeed! I've actually spoken to a few fellow bloggers about that, because I know I am guilty of participating in many linkups and occasionally use it as a crutch. However, I think that even in these posts, though formulaic at their core, can provide insight into the blogger's life. Those personal tidbits that you mention liking are what I always try to include, whether it be in confessions, favorites, currently posts or whatever. But I do hear your point. If I don't have anything noteworthy to share in those types of posts, I just don't participate. Blogging should never feel forced, and it's quite obvious when they are. Also, I've been looking forward to this post since Stephanie (Not Entirely Perfect) mentioned it in her post yesterday- love the idea!

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  33. I feel the same way about blog link ups. Not interesting to me at all. I also hate posts where people just post pictures of things they like on Pinterest and the Nordstrom website with no real content. Blah. I can't stand when people are walking and just stop in the middle of the walkway or the bottom of the stairs, with no care for the people behind them. If you are lost or need to stop for a minute PULL OVER for heaven's sake!

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  34. #1 is spot-on. I enjoy hearing what's new with everyone but they do get repetitive. I thought about participating in some but I realized A) My life is boring B) It would be all I would write. So I chose two monthly link-ups instead, including Show Us Your Books, of course! :) I'm an introvert so silence is very welcome and too much talking, especially just for the sake of talking, is stressful for me. And I can't with Trump. Just cannot do it. Don't get it and never will.

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  35. LOL! I was JUST walking down the hall at work thinking about how I can't have any rational discussions with Trump voters, and if I try, I might start screaming and never stop.

    PS - I hope you don't think my blog is rote!

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  36. so you might not know, but my allergies actually are the worst ever. honest. ever. jk. i have no desire to do the adult colouring book thing. i could barely do it when i was a child, why would i want to do it now. you know what is relaxing? reading a book. a few months ago i thought, maybe i should start writing reviews and trying to explain what the book is about because how are people supposed to know if they will like the book based on my feelings? that lasted approx one show us your books post before i said fuck it. that's what the synopsis is for. sometimes i read 'reviews' when people link up for show us your books and i go searching for their opinion, but it's not there. you told me what it is about, but i don't know if you liked it or if it was good. sometimes i will click on goodreads so i can see their star rating, but most of the time i think oh well.
    i take way too many pictures of myself and post to instagram... i am going to try and post other things now :)

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  37. with am right there with about the weekly link-ups. blahhhhh.
    Also the dog snapchat filter needs to just go away. literally i see about 2483943 of them and i just want to throw my phone.
    and one million percent agree about the silence. i'd like to add people who need to do everything with someone else. I genuinely like doing a lot of things alone.

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  38. OMG this is so spot on. literally every single point. thanks for this awesome dose of honesty. xx

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  39. Uh Oh.... Thank You Notes. :D
    I'm not on Snapchat but for some reason, eh hem, I have seen all the filters. I'm done with people-dogs.
    I love coloring pages!
    I cannot discuss politics in circles with those who cannot understand what's wrong with him. I just can't. I'm not even sure how we got this far. :(
    XOXO

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  40. The only way someone will get me to read a weekly link-up is if they take the time to at least come up with a creative title for the post. I HATE when people summarize books instead of freaking reviewing them! I want your opinion first and then, if you sell me on it, I will go and read the synopsis myself. Ain't nobody got time for a long review with a summary. I'm also unable to rationally discuss Trump. Can this election just be over already?

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  41. Everything about this made me smile. I do love snapchat filters and I color sometimes, so I'm happy you love me anyways. lol. Blog world is kind of grossing me out right now. I just purged a bunch of people that never write about anything but things they can sell. Making some money is cool and I totally support it, but not if it's the only thing you ever post... ever.

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