TWTW - the one with the end of vacation

Thursday MFD left to head home before 7. Dad, Carol, Debbie, and I went to two Bert's Surf Shops and Beaufort Olive Oil. They continued on but dropped me back at home. I did a little blogging and a little work and hit the beach around noon. We were out there until close to 7 and did the old pull all the leftovers out and eat dinner, plus the addition of chocolate lasagna by Debbie for dessert. After a Lola original concert on guitar, I went to bed and started a new book. 

Friday Last day of vacation! Morning rain produced awesome skies. I was on the beach by 10, finished a book from beginning to end and started a new one by noon, and done with the beach for the day by 3. Packing up and cleaning up, pizza, ice cream, seeing Stephen & Aubrey and the kids off, saying goodbye to Aubrey's family, and a last magic hour. I almost didn't go down because I was so tired but my Dad was like I think you should see this and I did. It was another great vacation with us on one side and Aubrey's family on the other. We all had a lot of fun and relaxed and the kids were a riot. 

Saturday The long ride home began at 4 am. Dad and Carol brought Debbie and I home since MFD left Thursday. I was trying to rest for the first two hours since I can't sleep in cars and somehow pinched a nerve in my right shoulder. I finished the book I started Friday, we stopped at a roadside farm market in Delaware, and after just a little bit of traffic we made it home by 2. 

I hugged the dogs repeatedly, unpacked what I could since my right arm and hand were pretty useless; had my first tomato sandwich of the season with tomato and bread from the farm market; ordered groceries from Wegman's via InstaCart since my arm hurt so fucking badly I couldn't imagine heaving the supplies I needed into a cart, out of a cart, and into the house; fell asleep for two hours, and started a new book. MFD was at the shore to do turnover and ended up staying the night. After over eight days of always being around people, it was so nice to be all alone. 

Sunday I was up by 7, showered by 8, and was watering the flowers before 9 when Instacart dropped off my groceries two hours early. Holler. I did five loads of laundry, changed the sheets, did more unpacking, and read some before heading over to my mom's for dinner. 

It was hot but a little breeze kicked in so we ate outside under some cool clouds. Rich's grilled pork chops were awesome and I ate both the cupcake and trifle desserts with no regrets until I got home and had to lay like a beached whale on the couch until I was less full and could complete my chores.

Weekly food prep: I made broiled chicken with artichokes for lunches and dinners (will put over rice or pasta) to start, since I had all the stuff and didn't make it on vacation last week. I also made a lot of veggie meat sauce to freeze. Breakfasts are hard boiled eggs and clementines. Snacks are zucchini slices with hummus and bananas. I didn't get to making power breakfast muffins but I'll do that this week. 

Happy happy birthday to my longtime friend Gena Ho!

Back at it. Let's go. 

Now hear this

Happy Saturday! I'm on a 8.5+ hour car ride back from vacation today and lending my friend Jesse some space here today for a post on something the majority of us take for granted - hearing. 

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When you’re struggling to follow a conversation in a busy room or when you find the volume creeping up on the television, you might have an inkling that your hearing isn’t quite as it should be.
The idea of losing your hearing is a scary one but in our age of modern hearing aids and technology the help you can receive is unobtrusive and effective.

If you think you might need a hearing test, take a look at our hearing loss symptoms and find out what kind of help you could receive.

Symptoms

As mentioned up post do you find it hard to follow a conversation in a group? That difficulty might be made even harder if there’s background noise to contend with as well. Perhaps you spend a lot more time looking at people’s mouths in this situation to try and get a handle on what’s being said.

Or maybe you find yourself coming out with phrases such as: “I didn’t quite catch that” more frequently than you have previously and wonder if people are speaking at a much lower volume.

The biggest giveaway, however, is the level you listen to your television. Perhaps friends and family have started to comment at how loud the volume is turned up when they come in the room and you’ve noticed you still miss the odd word or sentence, even with it turned up loud.

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What Next?

The best thing you can do is to visit your local hearing centre and get yourself booked in for a test. There’s nothing to fear here, your specialist will simply take you through a series of sound tests to determine which frequencies you’re experiencing difficulties hearing. They will also give your ear system a thorough check up to see if there are any other factors at play, such as a hard wax build up.

If you know you do suffer from wax then it can be worth having that treated before you go, so the tests are based on your true hearing abilities.

Aids

If you do need a hearing aids, you’ve got a lot of choice. You no longer have to wear a heavy, obtrusive brown aid stuck behind your ear but can instead benefit from discrete sizes and better matches to skin tone.

You’ll choose from modern designs and companies who have been making hearing aids that have been trusted for over 70 years.

Hearing loss can creep up on you when you notice yourself missing just one or two words. But it can quickly deteriorate and as embarrassed as you may feel about getting a test done, it’s far better to find out what you’re dealing with as soon as you can.

With aids that can be tucked carefully within the ear itself, you can carry on living your normal life without feeling self-conscious about what you look like. Your family will appreciate bringing the television volume down to a lower level and you’ll be able to, once again, enjoy conversations with friends and family without worrying that you’ve missed a key word or sentence.

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A Day in the Life trying to be free of single-use plastic

Steph and I are joining in on Plastic-Free July and I hope you are in some way as well, whether you're going whole hog or just making one small change in your life. If you haven't joined in and want to, please do - it is never too late to make a small change that makes the world a little less wasteful. We decided to share Day in the Life posts. Mine is coming at you from vacation, where I'm out of my routine and away from a lot of my things that make it easier to not be so throw away. I did bring some of them with me, as you'll see below. If you are sharing a Day in the Life blog post with this sustainable bent or are sharing your day on your Instagram account, please let me know so I can check it out.

After sunrise on the beach, I take a bike ride, Swell bottle in tow. I go nowhere without water including down the street to my grocery store at home. I'd like to get some coffee on the ride but I forgot my reusable cup so I nix it.

Speaking of grocery store runs, Debbie and I had to make a little run. My reusable bags are always in my trunk so that was no thing. While we were in Food Lion, an announcement came over the store PA system about using reusable bags because they are a coastal community that cares. Check and check. Now can we get supermarkets to stop overusing plastic? Does every piece of fruit need a sticker? Packaging in general...don't get me started.

I did buy a drink at the store. When I buy drinks, I try to buy them in cans or glass bottles, which really cuts down the options, but I'm at the point where I feel so fucking wasteful with a single use plastic bottle that I end up not enjoying it so if I do buy it, in addition to a waste of resources it feels like a waste of money too since guilt ruins it. My standard beach setup is a full Swell bottle of water and a 30 oz faux yeti with ice and a metal straw.

We ran out to get a few things in two stores and I didn't bring a reusable bag with me so I just carried my stuff out. Debbie did the same.

I am super proud of my family this week. Not one freaking single use plastic water bottle in the house all week (there were some red solo cups). Debbie brought metal straws for everyone and those were used too.

We used and washed the reusable sandwich bags I brought with me - these were six for $12 and they are seriously great. You wash them and dry them upside down over a cup. Easy and a great replacement for ziplocs. Perfect to tote sandwiches and snacks to the beach and they seal well and easily.

 My brother delivered my drink to the beach in glass. 

Carol brought tupperware and tins with her that we washed and re-used, and it's a good thing, because the house lacked that. That was our biggest obstacle this week - we ended up using a lot of tin foil because there was no tupperware and a lack of dishes in general. 

I wasn't sure how I'd do this week - I'm a little looser out of my routine than I am at home, but I remained conscious of what I was using and I'm pleased. 

Thursday Thoughts: lazy vacation style

Wishing for a winning lottery ticket. Vacation forever. Sunrise to sunset.

Bidding MFD adieu early this morning. He headed back home to attend a conference, work, and take care of shore house turnover on Saturday so I could stay  for the rest of the time

Having a great week with my family and Aubrey's family

Drinking mint sun tea

Collecting shells

Laughing at so much

Weathering storms and laughing our asses off crammed under tents propped up with wood to withstand winds

Enjoying coffee with a view every morning

Buying tie dye while wearing tie dye 

Biking around early in the morning before it gets hot

Eating too much vacation food. The donuts from Flip Flops are so fucking good.

Sharing scenes from vacation. Last week's TWTW, today, and Monday's TWTW will serve as vacation posts. 

Tomorrow Steph & I are sharing Day in the Life posts focused on sustainability/being less wasteful - where we're good and not - let me know if you're joining us with a blog post or posting on Instagram so I can check it out from the beach.

Family ties in adulthood

As we get older, our relationships with our families change. When we’re small, we’re surgically attached to our parents. During our teenage years, we strike out alone, but then when adulthood comes around we start to rebuild our relationships with our parents as not only parents but people when we start to see into the world beyond ourselves and have lives and families of our own. Family relationships aren’t always easy to navigate and negotiate.

Your Parents

As you get older it can be hard to accept that your parents are getting older too. As children we’re selfish, absorbed in our own little worlds, and in this particular relationship that can linger when we grow up. If we're lucky enough to have a good relationship with our family, we assume our parents will always be there to provide love, guidance, and support, so the first moments when you start to notice some frailty and signs of old age creeping in can be a huge shock to the system.

It’s important to make the most of your parents while they’re relatively hale and hearty. Spending time with them is something that you should make room for and not just in the role of grandparents to your children if you have kids. Your own relationship with them is important and must be maintained. Going for lunch with your mom or taking your father to a game or concert.

It can be hard to figure out how to form a more adult relationship with our parents - when you’re home with them you might find yourself revisiting that teenage urge to slam doors and huff dramatically. But take a breath and push that away so that you can form a new and more equal relationship with your parents as fellow adults. Try to engage in their hobbies with them - they probably have more time to spend doing what they love now you’re an adult so why not join in? It’s often a lot easier to talk when you’re occupied doing something else so you don’t have to focus entirely on each other - that’s why some of the best conversations we have are in the front seats of cars when we’re driving somewhere. Figure out who your parents are away from their family life - their misspent youths, their favorite bands from when they were teenagers, their relationships with their own parents - and you’ll figure out you’re more similar than you realized.

Remember that relationships with parents are not always easy. If you feel that they are trying to infringe too much on your life, particularly on your own parenting, know that it’s absolutely okay to set boundaries. Communicate in a respectful but firm way so that they're aware that you’re an adult and when it comes to your family, your rules are much more important than the way they would prefer for you to do things.

Your Grandparents

If you’re lucky enough to have your grandparents in your life as an adult, you probably already know how lucky you are to still have them around. As you get older, your grandparents do as well, and you might notice that taking care of them is starting to stress your parents out. Looking after elderly relatives is on the rise, and it can create a huge sense of worry for people of baby boomer age.

Take the weight off your parents’ shoulders whenever you can. Take dinner over to your grandparents, do a little light cleaning or errand running, check in on them. Take photos of your friends and family to show your grandparents, introduce your pets to them, read them excerpts from the newspaper, talk to them about current events, teach them some technology. Maybe suggest that they spend some time at their local senior center - they can form new friendships, play cards, and have an array of new activities available to them.

If your parents are worried about your grandparents, those worries will only increase if one of them passes away, leaving your other grandparent living alone. Remember that it’s okay to suggest assisted living facilities and nursing homes - these are often nice places where older people can make friends, socialize, and take part in fun activities. 

Your In-Laws

One of the big relationship building exercises of your adult life is commingling your ways with another family's - your in-law's. Being thrown into a brand new family can be fun and loving but can also be difficult and stressful - figuring out how this family operates, your place in it, how to negotiate another family’s Christmas traditions. As always, you have to give and take a little. Sometimes in-laws can be an issue - we clash with people in our own families, of course we will clash with people in our partner's family -  but they can also be the source of a huge amount of joy. Being accepted into a whole new family can be a beautiful thing - your sister in law might become your new best friend, your mother in law might be the greatest grandma in the world to your kids. But it’s important to communicate and to make sure that your partner is on your side if there's not a metaphorical seat at the table for you in their family.

Your Siblings

Of all your family, your siblings are the ones who have been there your whole life and will be there for the rest of your life. However, that doesn’t mean that you’ll get on well with them - the saying goes that you can’t pick your family, and sometimes you might look across at your brother or sister and wonder how on earth you grew up in the same house. You didn’t choose the relationship but you can choose how you react to it. If your personalities clash, remember that it's okay to keep some space between you.

You may already have family traditions but why not create some new ones with your siblings? You could throw an annual holiday party or summer reunion that will enable you to spend time with your brothers, sisters, and their families. You could also try to spend time with them more regularly if they live close by - take a look at what’s happening in your local area and arrange to attend concerts and festivals together as a family.

Your Nieces And Nephews
Not everybody who loves kids has kids, whether that’s because they decided it wasn’t right for them or because their lives went in a different direction. If that’s the case for you, you probably place a lot of value on your relationship with your nieces and nephews. However, if you aren’t used to hanging out with kids, it can be hard to know how to relate to them. It isn’t all about throwing gifts at them every time you see them - although that helps - but it’s about forming a great relationship with them that will last right through into their adulthood.

The best way to do that is to ask them what they’re into at the moment. A lot of the time, that probably isn’t too detached from things that you love. Your niece might love Captain America, and guess what? The Marvel movies might just be your thing too, so you can spend hours talking about how cool Captain Marvel is with her. Kids love being talked to as though they’re adults - don’t boss them around or talk down to them. Ask for their opinions and talk to them as though they’re the same age as you but with less curse words of course. Another great thing to do with kids is encouraging creativity - offer to babysit and get stuck into an art project with them. Tape sheets of paper together and trace their outline on it to color in; or take them out into nature to collect fallen leaves, sticks, and petals to make collages with; collect shells on the beach and paint them. Make an effort to have fun with them, listen to what they want to do, and treat them like little adults.

Your Cousins
Many of us grew up alongside our cousins, with great memories of Christmases and summers spent together. But when you’re an adult it is a whole lot harder to maintain those relationships and it’s easy to drift. The best way to prevent that from happening is to make an effort: set aside time each week to call them, to send an email, or to hang out. If you live close together, treat your cousins like your friends and make an effort to meet them. They may always be there at big family occasions because of your blood ties, but you can’t take that for granted and like any relationship, you need to put effort into it. Your shared memories are great but you need to create new ones too.

The Rest of Your Extended Family

With busy lives and schedules it can be hard to keep in touch with your extended family in adulthood. Simple gestures are a great way of letting people know that you care about them. As always, if there are members of your extended family who you don’t get along with and who you dislike, you don’t have to stay in contact with them. That racist uncle? You don’t have to hang out. That cousin who teased you when you were little and has only got worse since then? You don’t have to be friends. Politeness is great if you have to spend time together, but remember that you don’t have to maintain relationships with people who are toxic just because you’re related to each other. That's why our adult family is, to me, our true family - made up of both people we're related to and people we choose to be related to. Framily.