Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Set the world on fire or don't. It's your life.

Throughout March with International Women's Day coming early on and its Women's History Month designation,  I meant to do a series of posts about the various states of women. Here we are two days before the end of the month and this is the first one. The best laid plans, right?

Coming home from an event Sunday night celebrating women, Debbie and I were talking about how much of women's empowerment messaging is tied up in achievements like being a boss and shattering glass ceilings, as if we're only worthy if we do those things. While there were some awesome bosses and glass ceiling shatterers presenting Sunday, this was not the messaging of the event we attended, but as all good events do it sparked a lot of off-shoot conversations on the 45 minute ride home.

As a feminist, I love women who are bosses and shatter glass ceilings. I certainly want all of us regardless of gender, race, orientation, etc., to have equal opportunity and ability to be the boss and ascend to the highest levels in all fields.

But mostly I want women to know who they are and be happy with who they are even as they're working on who they might become next. That goes for all of us, from the glass ceiling breaker to the world traveler who works when she needs to to the stay at home mom and all the millions of us in between.

There's an art to appreciating who you are in this moment while knowing that you are not finished growing into who you will become because we're never finished becoming who we are. In this fast world, society pushes us to constantly think ahead to what we're going to do and be next and I wonder if that art form of appreciating where you are right now is dying.

If you are the woman who has the drive and determination to be the boss and break down the barriers, I support you. If you are not that woman and don't want to be that woman, I support you. It takes all of us to make this world go around.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to set the world on fire. There's nothing wrong if that sounds like too much to you.

There's nothing wrong with living what you consider to be a regular life. There's nothing wrong if that sounds like not enough to you.

We're each on our own path, and we must allow for that and encourage each other when our paths cross, resisting the urge to push everyone down the path we have chosen for ourselves. We all have this one life to do with what WE want.

Don't let the world make you feel like you are not enough or that your life and what you want from it and what you're doing with it is not enough. Don't let the world make you feel like you're too much or that your life and what you want from it or what you're doing with it is too much.

The only person who decides what's enough or too much is you. 

21 comments:

  1. This was so perfectly well said.

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  2. I really needed that last paragraph today. Thank you for the reminder.

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  3. I think I've mentioned before to you how one of my youth girls goals in life is just to be a wife & mom... & the other girls get on her for that & say she needs more in her life... & this post makes me think of that... if that's what she wants, whose to say that's wrong? one path isn't made for every person.

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  4. yes to all this. I'm not a glass ceiling breaker and have no desire to be one -- but walking our individual path and going where it leads (whether to the ceiling and beyond or meandering along at lower altitudes) is one way to happiness/enlightenment/finding our true selves. Preach on!

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  5. I love this! It took me until I was in my 50s to figure out who I am. Once I have myself permission to do my own thing, I've soared! Your generation is amazing!

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  6. If we could each be perfectly ourselves, the world would be awesome.

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  7. Gosh I love this. And appreciate it so much!
    There are some people out there who would do well to remember this line: "But mostly I want women to know who they are and be happy with who they are even as they're working on who they might become next." There are so many out there comparing their fields to someone else's, and trying to throw shade in the process. Be happy with where you are, even on your journey to where you're going. Someone else's happiness isn't fake because you aren't where you want to be, or the happiest you want to be in your life.

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  8. Man, I love this. I bounce between wearing my heart on my sleeve and locking it in a metal box deep within my chest. And I think that directly correlates with my desire to set fires one day and hibernate in my "good enough" camp other days. It's exhausting. But it takes all personalities and levels of drive. And this is such an awesome reminder. Thanks, Steph!

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  9. YES to all of this!! Embracing what my purpose is and refusing to apologize for it has been one the most liberating things of my life. Personally... I'm going to burn this bitch down. (But I also have times when I need to hibernate. Those days are coming soon. And then I'll be back for more.)

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  10. Bravo! Well said. Live in the moment and be happy with who you are right now. ❤️

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  11. "There's an art to appreciating who you are in this moment while knowing that you are not finished growing into who you will become" THIS. So well said.

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  12. I think it's so important for women to hear this message. It's okay to be where you are, who you are, and if you don't want to be anything more than what you can handle, that's fine, too. There's so much pressure to be a boss and to be all things to all people and that's not something everyone can handle. I know I can't. I'll never be someone who sets the world on fire but I am here for everyone who does.

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  13. Yes! And it's ok to take breaks. I've definitely been caught up with others who feel like it's 110 mph or nothing. As much as I enjoy being the one to set the world on fire, I need to take a step back other times as well. That doesn't make me less effective or engaged as anyone else. Still learning that lesson some days though!

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  14. AMEN. I'm a bit in between at the moment - and that's okay. Thank you for writing this.

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  15. I want to stand up and clap and yell bravo to this. I think personally that the feminist movement gave us the gift of choices and power. The choice and power to be who we are becoming! Thank you for this!

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  16. i love the drive and passion you have to empower women! It's needed. So many companies are still male-dominated and women don't get the same treatment/promotions/acknowledgment/respect. I know this from experience but refuse to let that happen again. Emily @ Martinis & Bikinis

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  17. Fantastic message and I really respect how much you empower others.

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  18. This is lovely. I spend a lot of my time wondering if I am doing enough. I love being a stay at home mom and even though I work part time from home I worry that maybe it's not enough? I try to remind myself that raising good humans is a key part to life but at times when I see so many doing these big things I wonder if it is enough.

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  19. It really true motivating Post! I am so enjoy it so much. Thanks for share.
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  20. This is wonderful! I've been thinking of this too- it's great to be out in front leading the charge, but the idea that women have to be SPECTACULAR to be respected does not feel like equality to me.

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