Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Things that are probably like wrestling a gator


via
I've never wrestled an actual gator, of course, but when I think about how much grunting, sweat, strife, and near death is involved, I think of these things.

Putting the duvet cover on by yourself. Yes, I have tried the burrito method and I still end up sweating and cursing.

Folding a fitted sheet. After observing Martha Stewart and housekeeping professionals and attempting their ways, I have decided I like being a fitted sheet baller, shot caller, brawler better.  

Giving a dog eye drops or ear drops.

Trying to get your winter coat off when you get too hot in the driver's seat. 

Attempting to remove clothing that is just a little too small in the fitting room.

Getting men to settle on wedding attire. 

Untangling a necklace in a hurry.

Picking up poop while walking three dogs who have no respect for leashes.

Bumbling up steps with all the bags from the trunk so you don't have to go back outside for the rest.

What are some of your wrestling a gator moments?

*************
Haikuesday
Gators and Tuesdays:
Both dangerous and wiley.
Navigate lightly.
                                                                   **************
Happiest of birthdays to my little girlfriend Eva the Diva, who turns two today. She's cute, sassy, funny, and brings much joy to this world. And congratulations to Villanova! What a game. It's pretty safe to say 99% of the greater Philadelphia area is experiencing novanation in some way today.


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33 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh I can't imagine walking THREE pugs - my two are bad enough. Usually when I stoop down to get a poop, one or both of them tangle around my legs. I swear they do it on purpose. And I loathe putting on the duvet cover - it takes forever and one corner is always wonky. BUT I will say - that I am amazing at folding fitted sheets - totally my hidden talent!

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  2. Oh my gosh I can actually relate to most of these- especially wrestling out of clothes that were a tad too tight to put on to begin with lol

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  3. I cannot fold fitted sheets. I just kind of roll it into a ball and put it away. I've tried folding it properly and just can't get the hang of it...

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  4. This is a strange one but my moment is getting rice from a pot into a container. I can never do it! Always end up with rice on the counter, floor, everywhere but the container.

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  5. I'm so good at a lot of these, you just made me feel awesome :) I rock the first 3 (though Hawkeye is very patient and just one dog) and I'm the designated necklace untangler. Legit, used to do it at jewelry shows for cash under the table.

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  6. What a funny post title, I love the concept and have a good laugh at the things you listed.

    What a game last night, just wow.

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  7. I was actually thinking of you the other day when my dog was stepping in his business, nearly going into the street, and otherwise being a huge pain while I was trying to clean up his mess. Three has to be a ton of work. I don't know about this burrito duvet method - clearly, I should research.

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  8. My god we are so similar. I was convinced I'm the only person that still can't fold a fitted sheet (despite numerous youtube tutorials) or that couldn't put our duvet on properly, but glad to know I'm in good company. :)

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  9. haha - the folding a fitted sheet. PREACH!
    For me, its getting out from under the covers when I have dogs laying on both sides & refusing to get up. I am freaking the freak out when I try to get out of the covers & they just look at me like, What?

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  10. As I was reading your title before I even read your post I was thinking....getting a 6 year old ready to go to school at 6:30 AM!

    Also I can identify with the dog poop and leash thing, can't they just stand still so I don't get dog poop outside the bag??

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  11. These are hilarious, and most of them I feel are totally true. I've mastered the art of folding a fitted sheet. My husband has not.
    And YES to the duvet cover. With someone, it's more do-able, but alone--forget it!

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  12. Trying to get Chuck Taylors on a one year old. WHY ARE THEY SO DIFFICULT TO PUT ON? I shouldn't be surprised; I can barely get my own on.

    Carrying a child, my work bag, lunch bag, his bag and lunch bag, and my purse and keys to the car in the morning or in at the end of the day. And then climbing over the gate that blocks him from making a break for it every time we open the door.

    Kids are fucking difficult and make me sweat a lot.

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  13. I despise putting the duvet cover on. I also hate blow drying my hair. It takes 4 years.

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  14. I was in H&M once (THEIR SIZING IS SO WEIRD) and felt like I was in a straight-jacket in one of their dresses and couldn't get it off. PANIC MODE. I was sweating, maneuvering my body in all kinds of contortionist ways and kept hearing that 'snapping' sound of seams bursting. HORRIFYING.

    Great list!

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  15. Yes to all of these, though I have given up on trying to fold fitted sheets. Life is too short. Along the lines of the fitting room one, also trying to get out of a garment after you get the zipper stuck. All types of straitjacket-like feelings. LOVE the Joe Dirt reference.

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  16. Hahaha yes!!!! Especially to duvet covers, drops for dogs, the jacket when you are hot, and getting stuck in skinny jeans or a dress in a fitting room. The instant panic that sets in does now help the situation either!!!

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  17. I relate to all of these. Most especially the sheet baller shot caller. I hate those fitted sheets!

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  18. Cheer hair. Cheer hair is my gator wrestling. And brushing the dogs' teeth.

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  19. I have given up on properly folding fitted sheets. It's too weird to curse out bed sheets. Mine may look like a jumbled mess in the closet, although I swear they are folded. Maybe. I hate taking two trips with all my stuff too, so I'll carry everything at once, then curse because I forgot that the elevator needs a key to work (for security purposes), which means setting down all my bags, turning the key to call the elevator and gathering all my bags up by the time it reaches me. #FirstWorldProblems

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  20. I am glad that wrestling a real alligator is not on your bucket list like the damn sky diving and glad the shark thing fell through in Africa. Thank the universe. The fitted sheets are just fine being kind of folded. Pulling fitted shirts over my head - I will step into them and dresses whenever possible. Getting lids or tops off of bottles that are hermetically sealed because of the damn Tylenol poisoner years ago. Likewise getting cold capsules out of their little squares. Hello I don't feel well, I need to take you. Entertaining and interesting blog as always. Love. Your. Momma

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  21. Omg getting my husband to clean anything!!!! It's always something!!!

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  22. lol, fitted sheets are a NIGHTMARE! and I actually found a duvet trick that made life so easy. Just shove two corners in to the duvets and grip the corners from the outside so you're holding the duvet corners and the quilt corners, then stand up and shake, it will all come into place.

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  23. seriously the fitted sheet one. i give up. i don't even care anymore, who is gonna see it? WHATEVER.

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  24. Seriously how do people fold the fitted sheet quickly? I found somewhere on Pinterest that told me how to do it, but it's too complicated and takes too long! I'm a baller too!

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  25. Haha I always struggle with taking off my coat in the car when I get too hot. It's just a bunch of flailing about and I usually wind up feeling like I've somehow dislocated one or both of my shoulders ... And, somehow, I STILL have the coat on. Why won't it just come off?

    Oh, and getting stuff inside when you have a lot of bags (or a huge armload of library books)? I'm always determined to do it in one trip even if it kills me. And, to put this in perspective, I live in an apartment complex with a detached garage (and the car is obviously inside because I can't possibly be bothered to go back out and move it later!) and we live on the third floor. There is no elevator. The struggle is real. Haha.

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  26. Haha I always get too hot in the car and then get stuck in the coat and seatbelt. But I want to take it off in a way so that before we open any doors I can hurry and put it back on first.

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  27. Trying to walk the 1/8 of a mile from the parking lot to my building in the morning, carrying ALL THE STUFF, with my badge out and handy so I can unlock the front door. Holy cow. Every day tests my mental and physical agility because I usually have a hot beverage in hand.

    And cleaning dogs' teeth. Ugh.

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  28. I've never had a desire to fold a fitted sheet. It gets wadded up in some type of folding action and stuffed in a linen closet. I've made it 42 years living this way. This will not change. My gator wrestle? Walking my two dogs at the same time. Me doing it, without the assistance of the husband. It doesn't happen. It can't. They weigh 70+ each, and they are crazy. Chances are, someone would be seriously injured...as high as the chances that injuries would be suffered if I wrestled a gator.

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  29. I can't imagine wrangling three dogs! The burrito method and folding the fitted sheet doesn't work for me either!

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  30. So. I've got these duvet clips I found on Amazon. Life changing. I'll fill you in. LOL I'll (eventually) get up my gator post... but I LOVED this. (Obviously... since I refer to myself as Head Gator.)

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  31. Yes to folding fitted sheets! It's ridiculous!

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  32. Three dogs on a leash
    peeing on one another
    stepping in the poop
    :(

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  33. Ah, so true, so true! Especially the putting on a duvet cover (or fitted sheet) yourself and wrestling a winter coat off while driving. So true! In my life, another one would be putting sunscreen on my kids and putting a harness on my puppy. You put one leg in, then as you're putting the other one in, the first one gets out.

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