Winter is coming.

The pendulum is swinging.

Double down on efforts. 

Keep showing up. 

Refuse to be silent about things that matter, such as racism, misogyny, xenophobia, LGBTQIA rights, the rule of law, democracy, integrity, respect, education, civil rights. 

Get out the vote, including in the primaries.

Hold government representatives accountable for representing citizens, not their donors or corporations. 

Call them, fax them, write them, tweet them, show up at their offices. 

Put their feet to the fire. They work for you. 

Let sitting Democrats know that if they listen to corporations and donors over constituents, they’re next after we deal with the imminent danger of Republican representatives voting against common decency and people’s lives every day. 

Participate because democracy requires it. If you don’t you’re living under a Lord of the Manor system thinking you have to take what they give you. 

Think critically. 

Do your research. 

Know your rights.

Exercise your rights.
Speak truth to power.
Point out abuse of power. 

Protect the free press.

Care for the poor, the sick, the elderly, the forgotten.

Stand up for people who cannot stand up for themselves. 

Help those in need.

Amplify the voices of marginalized groups. 

Thank black women but also support and fund their campaigns because we owe them more than thanks for voting in the best interest of communities nearly 100% of the time - they have by far earned leadership positions in those communities.

Believe women.

Work hard - practice self care and take breaks but don’t for one second think we’re coasting now and the work is done.

Recognize authoritarian overtures and plant yourself on the right side of history. 

Resist.

2018: expect us.

The Gift of Friday

Happy Friday my friends. Are you ready for the quickest days of the week to come and go before you can blink?

G is for get your shit together. My to do lists have to do lists and I am jamming some shit out today, come hell or high water. MFD bailed me out on two separate errands yesterday because I fucked up the times.

I is for I want a new phone, all of my photos look like shit and I swear they did that on purpose to make people want to upgrade. I'm thinking of a Google Pix 2. I've only ever had an iPhone. Will the switch be horrible?

F is for Franken. You didn't think I'd let this go without comment because his politics match mine, did you? I'm disappointed in groping Al, but as a 40 year old woman who has lived on this earth and had countless incidents of uninvited touching in bars in my early 20s, many by guys who are otherwise nice, I can't say I'm surprised. I like the work Al has done in the Senate, but I believe the woman. The bullshit women have put up with since the dawn of time is not a partisan issue, in fact it's not even a political issue. It's a human issue.

I think this is a good conversation to have, and I think a lot of us are having conversations. Me and MFD are, me and my BFFs are, it’s topical in my progressive groups. We are all approaching this from different directions, similar to the conversations we're now having about pervasive and systemic racism.

Where is the line? What do we want going forward? All of this has made me think of so many things I’ve forgotten about for years. I don’t want to crucify any person who grabbed my ass in a bar without permission. As a logical person, I recognize an ass grab in a bar is different than sexual harassment in the work place which is different than sexual assault etc etc.

The patriarchy is on shaky ground but most positions of power are still occupied by men. It feels like the system is folding in on itself while those in power claw to keep it. It's alarming in that it's the only thing we've ever known so the toppling naturally frightens us because on the whole we fear change; and it's awesome in that everything can change: all the attitudes and the behaviors. I think we're on the cusp of something huge but women AND male allies need to keep smashing...even when it hits people they like.

Just to be clear, no one expects another person to have never done or said anything wrong. We are human. We are imperfect. We fuck up and we hurt each other. I hear a lot of grown men being like man...I should not have done that in my teens/early to mid 20s, I know better now. After acknowledgement, that's the key - you know better, so you do better. I don't want to berate you or shame you for not knowing better then. That does nothing for me, you, or the world. You atone by teaching your kids and your male counterparts how to support and value women and actually supporting them with your actions, not just your words. Of course I hear some What, now that's wrong? They can't take a joke? We can't flirt? etc. from those clinging to the old ways. You can flirt. You can still talk about WYLTF without devaluing and debasing them as people, without it being okay for it the conversation to devolve into grab her by the pussy (sad that that's like a national American phrase now), implying force or against will. I think that's the line, isn't it? Everyone is a sexual being. It's how you value the bodily autonomy of others. And it's teaching that concept of bodily autonomy at a young age, to ALL kids regardless of sex.

What you cannot do is touch someone without permission, and you are learning that there are consequences to doing so. Finally. You also cannot ever ever ever engage in anything remotely sexual with a minor. That…that is definitely in the set the world on fucking fire zone and I’d rather pee on the scorched earth next to you than give you a drop of relief. Equating Roy Moore's multi-offense pedophilia with Al Franken's boorish groping shows how partisanship in this country has eroded our decency and common sense and highlights our desire to be right and win at all costs - even when the  cost comes on the backs of women and young girls.

We're ALL learning - we were all raised in a misogynist culture. Women battle the same long-held cultural and societal notions of what they should just deal with as men battle those things that are okay for them to do. Things are changing and there will be growing pains all around. It's going to be uncomfortable but it won't be forever. It will be easier if we give ourselves and others trying to find new ways of being some grace.

Maybe we could start by not having magazines like W name a 13 year old as sexiest actress? Come the fuck on now. Hand me my hose of fire.

T is for toodleoo, mofos. Incidentally I learned from Lauren yesterday that MFD's Venmo name has MOFO in it. I got a good laugh out of that. I hope you have many good laughs this weekend!

Happy happy birthday to Denise, who has been framily to me since she was born.

Thursday Thoughts - look at my king all dressed in red

1. Iko iko un-day. The other day I spent a legitimate half hour looking up the origin of that song, and towards the end of that half hour I found myself on a freaking Grateful Dead fan site reading the comments section. I don't even like the Dead save for a few songs, and I certainly am not interested in immersing myself in their super fans. I backed the fuck away from the internet and went for a walk outside.

2. When something feels tight on my skin I know I need to make a change. Most summer TWTW posts will be pictures with phrases. I like being able to look back on weekends but I will take the summer off from being verbose about it.

3. If you get to Dunkin Donuts behind this guy in the morning, boy you are fucked. Because it means he's ordering for like 15 people.

4. A few people have asked my thoughts on Hillbilly Elegy. These were my biggest takeaways. I don't think it was the cultural phenomenon it was hyped to be. I was also interested in the commentary Vance made on the decline of hard work and how people are bitching up a storm about things they're doing themselves but that they consider themselves the exception to the rule. Interested because that appears to be what HE is doing and the hypocrisy is unsurprising but still fucking annoying.

5. Newsflash: if you are anti-abortion but also anti- full health coverage for pre-and post-natal care, anti-full (longer than 6 or 8 freaking weeks, that's for sure) and PAID maternity leave, anti-higher minimum wage, anti-equal pay for equal work, anti-public schools, anti-TANF, anti-Medicare, anti-HUD public housing, anti-SNAP, anti-WIC, anti-National School Lunch Program/Breakfast Program/Team Nutrition/Milk Program, anti-head start and early start, etc...then stop calling yourself pro-life. You are pro-birth. You are into controlling women's choices on the front end and blaming them for failing alone on the back end.

The United States is the only country in the developed world where the Maternal Mortality Rate is RISING. Our MMR is on par with Saudi Arabia's - that country we like to wave around like "Hey ladies, stop bitching, you have rights and you have it better than the women in Saudi Arabia." Why, because we can wear makeup? GTFO. 13 white men are cutting women's healthcare behind closed doors as we speak.

From the article Why a Pro-Life World has a Lot of Dead Women in It: "Pretending that women should remain quiet on the topic of their rights because women have it worse in other countries is absurd. We do not live in other countries. This argument should carry all the weight of a C student, who, when told to do better by their parents, replies by shouting, “I could be getting Fs! I could be shooting heroin into my eyeballs!” Which is to say, it should carry no weight at all."

Read it.

6. When an opinion piece on the National Review calls the Philando Castile Verdict a Miscarriage of Justice, you fucking KNOW it was. Of course, in the comments, people are defending it. We are sitting on a powder keg and people still don't know why there is a Black Lives Matter movement. Yesterday was the 53rd anniversary of the Freedom Summer Murders and I don't think a damn thing has changed because people still carry so much hate in their hearts. 53 years is enough time for that to go away except people are teaching it to their children so it is not going away. But enough of that. Let's talk about the murder of Nabra Hassanen, a 17 year old who had just left extra prayers at a Mosque during the last 10 days of Ramadan. Was it because she was Muslim? They seem to think not and it's not being investigated as a hate crime at this time...but man, we've made them pretty easy targets, haven't we? Reminder: hate has no home here, motherfuckers.

7. This guy is my America. Watch this ad for Randy Bryce who is running against Paul Ryan in 2018. "If someone falls behind, we are so much stronger if we carry them with us. That's the way I was raised." Made me cry at my desk, no shame.  The cherry on top...his twitter handle is IronStache. Can you even?

8. Things that take me from zero to murderous rage in under three seconds:

9. Tomorrow is the seasonal goals linkup with me & Sara if you're interested! Graphic grab:

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10. Reminder:

11. E-card of the week.