Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Shit MFD Said: Vol 31

After dinner out
MFD: You don't have any toothpicks or tooth floss do you? 
Me: It's called dental floss.
MFD: Tooth floss.
Me: Dental floss!
MFD: It could be tooth floss too.

Holding up an article of clothing after a few weeks not at the shore
Me: Look, I forgot I had this here.
MFD: What is it?
Me: A bathing suit coverup. Duh. 
MFD: It looks like Pancho Villa's nightie. 

Before I bought him these
MFD: Do you have wet wipes?
Me: Yes.
MFD: you have any nail clippers in there?
Me: Mike! No!
MFD: What? I don't know what you have in there.
Me: It's never going to be nail clippers! Ever! I've told you that every time you've asked. 
MFD: I thought maybe you did your nails here.
Me: In my car? Stop.

Yelling up from downstairs as I'm trying to go to sleep
MFD: Steph!
Me: What.
MFD: Do you know what I'm watching?
Me: No.
MFD: Fart: a documentary.
Me: Did you say FART?
MFD: Yes. 
Me: That's what I thought.
MFD: Steph!
Me: What.
MFD: You gotta come watch this.
Me: No. 
MFD: They're talking about farting in front of your spouse.
Me: I'm familiar with that. I'm going to sleep now.

Eating dinner
Me: What are you doing?
MFD: Scraping this off.
Me: Why?
Mfd: I don't like rosemary that much.
Me: There's not that much on there...this is like a toddler eating.
MFD: Says the person who can't have their food touch on their plate.
Me: Touche.

On the way home from the shore
MFD: Do you want to stop and take a picture in front of that big Alred E Newman looking thing?
Me: Should I?
MFD: I don't know. I think it's kind of cool. 
Me: Do YOU want your picture taken in front of it?
MFD: Maybe.

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All read and approved by MFD before they go live...
Shit MFD Said Vol 1Shit MFD Said Vol 2Shit MFD Said Vol 3Shit MFD Said Vol 4
Shit MFD Said Vol 5Shit MFD Said Vol 6Shit MFD Said Vol 7Shit MFD Said Vol 8
Shit MFD Said Vol 9Shit MFD Said Vol 10Shit MFD Said Vol 11, Shit MFD Said Vol 12, Shit MFD Said Vol 13, Shit MFD Said Vol 14, Shit MFD Said Vol 15, Shit MFD Said Vol 16, Shit MFD Said Vol 17, Shit MFD Said Vol 18, Shit MFD Said Vol 19, Shit MFD Said Vol 20, Shit MFD Said Vol 21, Vol 22, Vol 23, Vol 24, Vol 25, Vol 26, Vol 27, Vol 28, Vol 29, Vol 30

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Don't fear the thirties

Jeep tour in Cozumel with Kim & Debbie less than a month after I turned 30
I've seen a lot of people creeping close to their thirties announcing the last years in their twenties and wondering how their thirties will treat them.

Honestly? Awesome, if you're like me and a lot of other people.

People seem to fear entering the thirties, like that's when you have to grow up. False. You have to start being responsible much younger than that. As for growing up, I hope a part of you never does. The things that are on the less glamorous side of being an adult - paying bills, people dying, physical aches and pains of aging, etc - those things are not the fault of the thirties, so don't lay that shit at this decade's feet. I have about eight months left in my thirties, and I have to say they've been amazing - huge highs and devastating lows, big life events and small changes that have led to me being the me-est me I've ever been.

I can't say I've hated any age, but the twenties were trying. I feel like I spent a lot of time spinning my wheels, reinventing the wheel, throwing the wheel up against a brick wall, and wondering why the fuck the wheel seemed so hard to reach when I am an adult and I was promised access to the wheel. I also wondered if I was working at the right job, living in the right place, being with the right person, doing the right things.

Very simply, for me the thirties signaled an end to the wondering. I trust myself, and I know what's right. Sometimes I'm on the wrong path, and even then I know that's right because of the lesson I need to learn on that path. I don't always listen to that inner what is right knowledge, but I don't wonder any more. I am no longer adrift. I am where I should be right now, and if I want to be somewhere else, I know what moves I need to make to get to that place.

I feel secure and mighty, safe in harbor but willing to tear ass out on a boat at any time. Aging has not made me risk averse, but it's caused me to be more picky and calculating in my choices.

The thirties have taught me so much about the world and through that, about myself. I've fallen in love with them...but that doesn't mean I won't fully embrace the 40s when March rolls around. All signs point to more adventure ahead.

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Monday, July 25, 2016

TWTW - the one that was quintessentially down the shore

Old glory and tie dye. That sums up my weekend. JK of course. Friday night we celebrated MFD's cousins Steph & Brenna's graduation from high school. It was nice to see the family and the theme was tie dye, so I was totally all in. It was right across from Lola's house so I dropped off this little I had to get it onesie. We arrived at the shore at around 12:15 and were up until after 1. 
 There was no relief from the heat at the shore on Saturday. I biked up to get something on the boardwalk and was dripping with sweat when I got back. I did get to finally use the invection cooktop from Meem & Doug. I loved it. After doing the turnover, I spent the day inside...after shopping local for our fat asses at Crazy Susan's cookies. Otherwise I finished a book and we all napped before MFD headed to Stone Harbor for mummery.
I did get my shit together and shower, eventually. I also caught a spectacular storm rolling in over the bay. When MFD got home, we rode down to the beach to watch a lightening storm over the ocean, which is one of the best things to see. We spent a few hours on Megan's porch visiting her and Gail and we have this shitty selfie to prove it. Megan is going to join me on my quest to taste all the coffees in OCNJ. Another 1 a.m. bedtime. Who are we?
We slept in until 8:30 Sunday and it was glorious, followed by an equally glorious slow start on the porch.
Breakfast at Bob's was followed by a bike ride on the boards. I've never done it and it wasn't my favorite, but now I know I can do it and not kill myself or others on my bike. Holler. We quenched our thirst at Drip-n-Scoop and rode home through the alleys. I love riding the alleys. MFD loves riding far ahead of me and yelling back ya alright back there? every other minute because I am still a bike newbie.
Instead of going to our beach, we went to the North End so MFD could fish. It was quiet, not crowded, and full of boat and jet ski drones but also, strangely, serenity. I finished another book. We stayed until 5:30. Well, a little after. I had to get some swings in on those swings after we dumped our stuff at the car. 
After a dog walk and showers, we rendezvoused with Jed and family on the beach, had dinner at Ike's , and of course topped the night off with Kohr Bros because we're fat asses. 
Weekly food prep: I have pretty successfully transitioned to mid-week food prep, but it was a struggle for much of the summer. I am solidly entrenched in my Sunday food prep routine and it was hard to move it.

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It was a great weekend, and it's feeling a little more like settling into real life down here. I do have some alarming heel issue that I need to attend to though. Nothing says back to real real life like you don't have an old lady foot doctor down here

I'm working from home today, and home in this case being the shore. We'll leave sometime tonight. Instead of stinky hot DNC-crazed Philly at lunch, I'll be walking my dogs by the stinky bay.  

How was yours?

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Linking up with Biana at B Loved Boston for Weekending

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Thursday Thoughts da do ron-ron-ron, da do ron-ron

1. I should not be laughing so much at this stuff because it's insane that this shitshow is real life, but I can't help it. Thanks to Michelle for sending me this one yesterday morning.

2. I don't understand why people think you support police OR the black lives matter movement. It's not an either/or thing. A few bad acts by minorities don't make all minorities bad. A few bad acts by cops don't make all cops bad. I support the hell out of good cops and people of any and all colors standing up for social inequity. I've seen people make "defriend me" declarations over this, and man...I just don't know how we continue like that. When have we ever solved a problem by slamming the door in the face of others? I also don't know how people can't see what black lives matter means versus all lives matter. I don't know what else to say but I know I don't want to stay silent. I don't think that helps. I don't want to stop talking to people who think differently than me either. I do want the violence to stop, even though I am aware that grand change doesn't often come about without it. Hopefully we can move forward by talking and listening and stopping the violence as all it does is perpetuate stereotypes on both sides of the line. Maybe we can move forward like this, or by reading and embracing the words of Montrell Jackson, murdered Baton Rouge police officer. I'll help heal you if you help heal me. Deal?
3. My happy smiley precious genius niece Lola Jean is back from her two week vacation. I was so happy to see her on Tuesday night. It's amazing to watch her figure things out and see how proud she is to do things on her own and how much she loves her own reflection. My dream is that she is always proud of herself, independent, and loves who she is. I think that dream will come true -  she has encouraging, loving, patient parents and a full family of people on both sides who absolutely delight in her. Love is so powerful and a tough as nails binder of people as they're being formed. 

4. I've been getting into bed relatively early but not falling asleep. Tuesday night I made myself a mug of go the fuck to sleep tea (AKA Yogi Honey Lavender Stress Relief tea, mug from Lola, book I finished Tuesday) and I think I've got myself back in a good rhythm. 
5. MFD was at the shore yesterday to have a new dishwasher installed. I'm still in the trenches battling it out with Samsung to get a refund for their shitbox dishwasher. Between the dryer at home, the double window air conditioner shitshow at the shore last weekend, and this dishwasher, I'm hoping that's three appliance things and done for us.

6. Midweek trip to Marshalls? Don't mind if I do. It felt nice to stroll the aisles in an empty store even though they didn't have the thing for which I was searching.

7. Excuse the weird contortion. I had to get a pedicure yesterday and I said fuck it and got my nails done too. I tried that new OPI Infinite Shine on the nails, it's supposed to be shiny for 10 days but doesn't require any lights or special removal. I'll report back on how it does. Toes: OPI I Manicure for Beads. Nails: OPI Pretty Pink Perseveres.

8. I love fake dinosaurs. Video from a walk past the Academy of Natural Sciences, which is going all out dinosaur this summer. Local parents, your kids might like to make a visit if they're into dinos. 

9. Reminder:

10. E-card of the week. Asking for tomorrow...

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Tuesday, July 19, 2016

A is for Agreement...and Aniston

I've always liked Jennifer Aniston, inasmuch as a person can like someone they've never met. She seems pretty grounded, and also like someone with whom I could go out for Mexican with in a group of friends.

I think this even more after reading her blog entry For The Record on Huffington Post.

Obviously I have no experience being stalked by paparazzi - more like I am the actual paparazzi always taking pictures of every blessed thing - but I was happy with what she had to say about women and how society scrutinizes us. What the world at large thinks it is allowed to weigh in on in the lives of women. The thing she touched on that resonated with me the most is how much we define a woman's value based on her marital and maternal status.

It's time for questions about when someone is going to get married or have a baby to stop. Those things are really intensely personal. You should not be asking the questions, period, of men or women. If someone volunteers the information, the conversation may proceed. If they don't, it's off limits. Personally I find that the people who ask me these invasive questions are not my family or close friends. They're random acquaintances or people I don't even know well. Step off.

Some people don't want to get married. Some people don't want to have kids. You don't deserve to know their reasons for either. Hell, some people CAN'T have kids, and you poking your nose around in something that's likely already a huge source of pain to them to satisfy your own nosiness is thoughtless and cruel.

I know that these rules are quite different than what were acceptable topics of conversation even less than 40 years ago. I know we're still changing. Slowly changing. I know it's a hard thing for people to adapt to, the notion that you are not privvy to a woman's reproductive plans. When I was younger, it was most certainly expected that you would grow up, get married, and have kids. And that people would ask you when you were going to get a move on those things. That's not the case anymore.

In 2016, we're finally in a place in the civilized world where people are making active choices in their own reproduction. You can have no kids, one kid, three, five, six. What you can't do is tell others the appropriate number of kids to have. You also can't publicly ask people like me about when I'm having kids without getting your ass handed to you. It's not your business and I don't have to be polite or nice in response to that question.

As for the parent vs. non-parent bullshit: You can't act like you're more if you are a parent and someone is not - you're not more exhausted, you don't have the capacity to love more. Likewise, you can't act like you're more if you're not a parent and someone is - you're not more evolved, you're not more focused. Neither of you are better. You've simply made different choices. Choices are awesome. We as women need to be supportive of the choices of other women. And we as a society need to let others be exactly who they are and not lay our conceptions of gender roles on top of them.

Marriage and motherhood are not the only two things a woman has in life. She might have a job outside the home, an in-home business, an etsy shop, a blog, a book club, a passion for tennis, so many other things not to mention the intangible things: her thoughts and dreams and hopes and ideas about the world. We are, each of us, so many things. We are all worthy of love. We all have value. None of us owe anyone an explanation of our life choices. Whether you're a wife and mom or not, it is so crucial to maintain your own identity outside of any role you play, and to practice self-care and love and not feel guilty about any time you take to do that. You'd can't fill anyone else's cup if your cup is empty.

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