Friday, August 28, 2015

Friday Five: Self Esteem Boot Camp


Why does everyone's life look so much better than mine? People are so fake and only share their perfect moments and other wah wah crap is what I've been hearing lately. Summer is prime time for these weird ass complaints because people travel more, are outside doing more, and they're sharing more on social media.

People, why do you do this to yourselves?
1) Everyone's life looks better than yours because they're out there living it, not concerning themselves with what everyone else is doing and
2) We have not entered into a contract in which we have to show each other everything so we know we're all real. Sharing good stuff is not acting like things are perfect. It's sparing each other from things that are really private or really gross. People don't owe you a front row seat to their problems just because you're friends on facebook.
3) Social media channels are places for to share fleeting thoughts and images, something funny or something you think matters. They're not where you unearth your truths or grow as a person. Your real life takes place outside of those networks.

Your issues with what you see on social media are about one thing and one thing only - YOUR self esteem. Self esteem reflects a person's overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her own worth. It is a judgment of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self. Even though you're making it about what others are sharing, it's really about you and how you feel about yourself.

When you feel good about your life and are aware of your value, you don't care what others are doing in any way other than oh, how nice, that looks fun or are they totally insane posting that?  You're too busy enjoying life to compare your life to someone else's. You don't have the time or the inclination to sit around and say they're always doing all the things, it's not fair that I'm not/they always look perfect, I'll never look that good. 

Here's a quick Friday Five Self Esteem Boot Camp.

1. Recognize your triggers. What makes you feel bad about yourself? Respect yourself and don't put yourself in that situation or around those people. Before you say, "But I can't do that," think about it. You can. Might someone's feelings get hurt? Yes. But yours won't. If it's seeing the good of others that sets you off, instead of updating your facebook status in a weird passive aggressive manner, get off of facebook and find something to do that will improve your mood. I am astounded by the number of adults acting like five year olds with status updates whining about their lives or making generalizations about people that we all know are aimed at a specific person instead of just getting some balls and saying something to that person. Stop it. Really.

2. Don't take it personal. Everything is not about you, even though it feels like it is. Things other people do and say and how they react to situations are often about them. Not you. It's hard to get to that realization, but it's true.

3. Don't compare. Be too busy cultivating your life to concentrate on what your neighbor is doing. If someone can inspire you to be more and do more, that's awesome. If you can't gain inspiration without comparing, that's not so awesome. Seriously, you guys. Stop comparing yourself to others. When I see perfectly posed vignettes on Instagram, I think man they spent some time here I'm not into that not my life will never look this good. Recognizing differences is human nature. Comparing yourself to others is self-torture. Everyone is different and everyone's circumstances are different. Just be on your own journey. And good Lord, enjoy it. It's short.
4. Practice self-care. Feed your mind, take care of your body, make time for the things you want to do, let go of the small stuff, know your strengths and weaknesses and work on both, do things that make you feel good. If you treat yourself like the treasure that you are, you'll be less likely to be careless with yourself or to beat yourself up.

5. Love yourself. If you are okay with yourself, it doesn't matter if anyone else is okay with you. This requires total self-honestly - you need to be able to tell what you do well and what you don't do well, and to admit when you do wrong. You have to be fierce with yourself so that if other people are, they're not saying anything you don't know. Your worth and value have to come from YOU - no one else. People can tell you up and down the street all day long how good you are, but unless you tell yourself you're good, you'll still feel bad. People you thought would never leave you can and will - either by choice or by death - and if your entire sense of worth is tied up in others, you'll be sunk when that happens. It feels good when other people love you, but the foundation for accepting that love is loving yourself.
Help me down off of my soapbox, would you? Thanks. In all seriousness though, if you can't work through any self esteem issues on your own, find a good therapist who can help you. You're worth it.

Anything to add while we're on the topic?


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Thursday, August 27, 2015

Thursday Thoughts

1. This makes me want to burn shit down. If your reaction to this is boys will be boys or some scoffing and superior everyone is offended so easily these days or everyone is so uptight or no one can take a joke, they didn't mean anything bullshit, email me. Let's get together and talk. Let's talk about rape culture and fear and stupidity and ignorance. One in five students are sexually assaulted in college, but that number is skewed and is likely more like three in five. Sexual assaults go largely unreported because people think shit like the signs on the house at Old Dominion are funny or not a big deal and consequently victims don't think they'll find any support if they do report it so why bother. That is part of rape culture. Get your heads out of your asses. This is not funny. Yesterday was the 95th anniversary of women winning the right to vote. We have not come far enough in that time.We need to do work so little girl children today are not treated as objects when they go to college in 18 years.
via
2. Girl power part two: the facebook post that went viral about doing better by our daughters in regards to Anna Duggar in the wake of the Josh Duggar fall out. The post is long but worth a read, but if you don't feel like it, my favorite parts are: Parents, WE MUST DO BETTER BY OUR DAUGHTERS. Boys, men, are born with power. Girls have to command it for themselves. They aren't given it. They assume it and take it. But you have to teach them to do it, that they can do it. And, of course, her ending...As for my girls, I'll raise them to think they breathe fire. 

3. Geege is shedding like a maniac. MFD calls the hair coming out of him crab meat. I can see it. The jumbo lump variety, of course.
4. On Tuesday, the Born to Run album turned 40. One of my all-time favorites from beginning to end. I celebrated by driving around my neighborhood instead of going home so I could hear Tenth Avenue Freeze Out live at the Tower Theater here in Philly from 1975.

5. I've been watching The Hotwives of Las Vegas and Orlando on Hulu. LOLOL for days. It's a parody of the Housewives series and it's ridiculous and hilarious.
6. This week's give Tuesday a purpose program - I used my monthly massage for a nice 7 p.m. appointment. The massage was awesome and I went home, ate a meal I did not cook, showered, and read in bed while I ignored the house mess around me. Ommm.

7. Readers and writers, check out Hellbent Magazine on Twitter & Instagram and follow along as they approach launch. From its site: hellbent showcases bold, innovative work from diverse voices: literature and art that makes you question what you think you already know, and emphasizes stories about people, places, and things you may know nothing about. Accepting submissions. Cheers & best of luck to Alyssa of Alyssa Goes Bang and Yve of Experimental Optimist, working on this endeavor together.

8. Angela V was the winner of the $50 charity giveaway! She chose the charity Teals the Deal Foundation to receive her donation. The Teals the Deal Foundation raises awareness about gynecological cancers and their symptoms, provides education about symptoms and treatment options, and supports those fighting for their lives as well as the doctors, researchers, and foundations that are fighting this disease.
9.

10. Ecard of the week. This made me laugh like a 10 year old boy who knows that fart is the magic sure to get a laugh word:


Your Thursday Thoughts? Call 'em out.
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Linking up with Kristin and Joey for Stuff & Things

Stuff, Things, etc.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

August Recommendations

Hello hello friends! You know the drill. Skimmers, recommendations are in bold (and typically clickable). Debbie and MFD are joining me this month as we're a mere six days away from their birthday - both of them are September 1 babies. 
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1. Be nice. Don’t be an asshole.  Life is too short and precious. Spend your time productively and be nice to people.  Karma is a bitch!

2. Be grateful for what you have. There are so many people who have less than you do.  

3. Be courageous and confident. Don’t let obstacles or nay-sayers stand in your way of getting what you want. Go get it!

4. Walk more. I have been walking up and down 5 flights of stairs at work every day during the week. I find it relaxing, I feel better and gets me away from my desk. I also think it’s fun when co-workers are trying to find me!!  LOL

5. If you can, travel. Get out and visit places you’ve never been. Whether it’s by planes, trains, or automobiles, traveling and discovering new places is wonderful!!  I’ve learned so much through my travels!
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1. Voltage RB12 Series hand painted fishing lure. Bought it at Dicks. The interwebs and fishing chatrooms all have success with this bait. Happy fishing!

2. Sugar-free Cherry Red Bull. It is great. It is sugar free. It is like, a really good thing!!! Enjoy it! 

3. Langhorne Settlement Services. For all your title needs. I started a Title company. Now I need to promote and advertise. Might as well start here.

4. Light & Fit Greek Yogurt. It is good. Doesn't have that gross, Greek yogurt taste thing going on. I really don't like Greek yogurt, but this is good.... Nice and smooth.
5. Beta Max Video Machines. No, sike... I am kidding. Beta Max sucks. VHS only. Can you believe someone is trying to get $900 for a Beta Max player???

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1. I Love Your Dress from Modcloth. Really, that's what it's called. I have this dress in two colors - olive and plum - and I'm not above buying more. When I find something I really like, I will buy it in many colors (see also: more than 10 variations of pixie pants from Old Navy). This dress is comfortable and if you throw a cardigan over it boom, it's winter worthy.

2. Bookwormboutique.com - I have purchased a lot of shit from here. Hint: mugs and t-shirts. It's a dangerous place for me to visit. For all of your not really needs needs. 
One of the mugs I got. 
3. Sink Caddy Large Tidy Station - A sink caddy? Lame! Come on. Hush. I don't care. I hate a messy sink area. 

4. Dryer sheets for baseboards - Hated chore, I know. For me too. Snap a dryer sheet onto a broom and use it to clean your baseboards. No bending down and the anti-static in the sheet helps repel dust & dog hair from the baseboards. 

5. Cucumber and potato chip sandwiches - I have loved this combination since I was a child. Try it. 

Lay it on me - what are you recommending this month?

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Today's gratitudes:
1. The ability to go to sleep early if I choose.
2. Finding a series of books with a character I like
3. People who will go along with my blog requests



Tuesday, August 25, 2015

...the moment your sandwich has an egg, boom, it's a breakfast sandwich.

Anyone recognize that title from The Fault in our Stars by John Green? Anyone? Bueller? A marriage of two of my favorite things: recipes and books. Excuse me while I have a moment.

For those of you who like to do food prep and make ahead meals, these are for you. I made 18 of these bad boys last week and froze them. They're also good to make for company so you're not being head chef while entertaining for breakfast or brunch.

Ingredients
6 large eggs
salt & pepper
Cooked ham from the deli, probably about 1/4 pound (any other thinly sliced meat will do)
Cooper sharp cheese from the deli, probably about 1/4 pound (any other sliced cheese will do)
Multi-grain english muffins

Directions
Preheat oven to 350. Grease the heck out of standard muffin tins or individual ceramic ramekins. Crack egg into each. Top with salt and pepper.
Bake for 12-15 minutes, turning pan halfway through to ensure even cooking. If you are making a bunch of these, it is still best to bake your eggs in batches of six. When I tried to do 12, it took forever and a day to get them to set, so ignore the photo where you see more than six. When I did six, it took 13 minutes and they were perfect. Chalk it up as a mystery of the universe.

Remove from oven and let sit for 30 minutes.

Split english muffins. Layer ham, cheese, egg, and another piece of cheese. The eggs are going to be a little smaller than the rest of the sandwich. Anticipate this, relax, and let that shit go, homie. They're still good. I promise.

Press down and serve, or press down, wrap in plastic wrap, and freeze. When you're ready to eat them, remove from freezer, remove plastic wrap, wrap in paper towel, and microwave for 45 seconds. Flip and microwave another 45 seconds to 1 minute. It might be a little wet. Don't freak out. Just dry it off with a paper towel and let it sit for 30 seconds before you start eating it.

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Haikuesday
No worry morning - 
think hakuna matata - 
starts with these sammies.
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Do you have a favorite make ahead breakfast?

Last day to enter to win $50 to the non-profit charity of your choice! Click here. 

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Martinis & Bikinis

Monday, August 24, 2015

TWTW - the one with the peace and quiet

There's something about being by the water, something that slows the churning in your brain and replaces it with serenity and lollygagging.
There's also something about arriving at your aunt's lake house after midnight on a Friday with two adults and three dogs making a ruckus and being greeted with open arms.
There's something about spending time in a beautiful place with people you love, whether you're doing things together or just doing things separately in the same space.
There's something about a meal outside, where the steaks are reminiscent of the Old 96er and the grilled corn makes you want to eat it off the cob even though you never do that.
There's definitely something about taking eleventy billion photos of your dogs without anyone judging you. They take them for you instead.
Not to mention the reading of books and magazines, the snack spreads, the gelato, the swimming, the lounging, and the sitting by the water, the breeze skimming over limbs heavy and full of a drowsy summer afternoon...there is indeed something glorious about all of those things.
Then there is Sunday night, when you arrive home after battling traffic on the Northeast extension, and your husband goes to work and your dogs pass out snoring and you're left alone with the Sunday night blues and the brownies you brought home, which you eat for dinner instead of the buffalo chicken pasta salad you whipped together at 7 p.m.
There's also being grateful in hindsight that you left after 9 p.m. instead of 7 p.m. on Friday, because you got to do your weights, change your sheets, wash your towels, write a few blog posts, process your iced coffee in bulk, and paint your nails in Essie Madison Ave-hue, which Lori also did that night, three hours north. Kismet, no?

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It was weird to write this blog post without using the first person. Try it. It's weird.

I can't sign off without wishing my great friend Jill a fabulous 30th birthday today. Cheers girlfriend! xoxo
What about you? Did you get any peace and quiet?

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Linking up with Biana at B Loved Boston for Weekending

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