Reaching out to a teen in crisis mode: A guide

Wednesday! How are we friends? With National Suicide Prevention Day being yesterday, I thought this piece by Maggie Hammond was a timely share. Maggie is Mom to two little people and many animals; and passionate about healthcare, the great outdoors, and world peace.
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It's a tough time to be a teenager in the digital era. If social media doesn’t play its part, then it’s their hormones, their peers, how they look, and even what music or TV programs they like. As adults, it can be difficult to connect to our children when they’re going through this trying stage of their lives. After all, the modern world changes so much over the past couple of decades that we just don’t know exactly what it’s like for them anymore.

The difficulties of being a teenager pass for some, but there are young people who need additional support as they deal with any mental health or addiction issues that affect them. If you are a parent, guardian or caregiver to a teenager experiencing such problems, here are some ways you can strengthen your relationship with them.

Let them know you’re there for them
Just reassuring your teen that you will support them no matter what will help them greatly as they seek treatment for their mental health issues. Tell them you love them and that they have nothing to be ashamed about their condition.

Talk to them - and listen
It may be a difficult one to do, but starting a conversation about mental health is crucial for you both. However, you shouldn’t try and not ‘fix’ the problem, even if it is your parental instinct.

Additionally, once you do start talking, listen. Show you’ll always be there to hear what your teen has to say about their mental health, no matter when that could be. Consistently being available for them is much, much better than having just that one chat every so often.

Open up about your family history
If you or another member of your family has experienced a mental health problem, tell them about it. Not only will they learn about your experiences, but they’re more likely to open up about how they feel as well. It will also help to remove the stigma of mental illness in the process.

Ask for help
You won’t have all of the answers, and it’s okay to say you don’t know what to do to support your child. Go out and find what resources are available to you and your teenager, in addition to what’s on offer through your physician or mental health professional.

Attending programs or going to residential treatment centers, such as those offered by Ignite Teen Treatment, may help them overcome their struggles. Support groups in your local area, or from reputable resources online, could also provide you, your family and your teen with advice to help you all through this time. You can also make adjustments at home, or speak to your child’s school about what they can do; it could be changes with scheduling, classroom setup, or asking to provide additional instructions for work.

Take care of yourself
You can’t provide the support your teenager needs if you are not in a good place. It’s why you need to take the time to look after yourself, which means you can be there for your child when they need you the most.

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Let's keep talking about mental health issues. Not doing so does a disservice to everyone. 

I've only written about September 11 once, and you can find that here. 

Dealing With Grumpy, Hormonal Teens Calmly and Coolly

Happy Friday, happy summer solstice! What's the surest way to know I have a guest writer, class? When the post is about kids - when I allow guest posts it's usually to cover topics I don't or to give friends some space. I love some kids, but writing about them is not my lane. My friend Jessie from across the pond is picking up my chosen Friday slack today to talk about parenting teens going through hormonal changes, also known as a portion of my life I am happy to never have to live again. Enjoy the read and enjoy the weekend!
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It was bound to happen one day: your sweet little angel has turned into a stroppy teenager. They no longer want to cuddle with you on the couch in the evenings. Now they lock themselves in their rooms and exchange the odd grunt and groan at the dinner table. As your children are getting older it can be very difficult to deal with their changes in behavior. You want to know about every single thing going on in their life, but they seem like a closed book to you. As a parent, you need to understand that their behavior is no reflection on you. Teenagers go through hormonal changes at a rapid rate, which mean their mood swings are out of control. You need to learn how to deal with these sudden changes in emotion so you don’t encroach on their privacy too much, but you are still protecting them. Here are some useful techniques that might help you to deal with your grumpy and hormonal teenager in a calm and cool manner.


Keeping an Eye on Their Online Activity
As your teenagers grow more and more distant parents in this day and age start to wonder what they are getting up to online. Your teen probably has their own mobile phone, computer or tablet, so you want to keep an eye on their online activity. With an android parental control app you can have peace of mind that your youngster is totally safe online. You can track where they are, the websites they are visiting, and their text messages. Of course you don’t want to invade their privacy completely, but this will help you to relax a little bit as your trust grows stronger and stronger.

Respect Their Space
Believe it or not, teenagers love their own company - they're learning who they are and need some space to do so. As much as you want to chat to them all night long about how their day was, they probably just want to play computer games or read a book or watch the latest reality television program. At times like this, you need to respect their space and give them the privacy they need. If you start becoming too overbearing they will only push you away even more.

Open Up the Lines of Communication
Having a chat and opening up with your teen helps you to check in with how they are feeling. Although they might be totally reluctant to express their emotions, you can gauge how they're doing by their actions a lot of the time. If you are ever worried about the health or safety of your child you should definitely seek out the advice of a professional. Sometimes distant behavior can lead to worse scenarios, so keep an eye on them if you can.

Don’t Take Things Personally
When your child doesn’t want to talk to you or open up, try not to take it too personally. To them, parents are pretty embarrassing and they would rather keep you in the background when their friends are around. They will soon grow out of this way of thinking and you will have them back in your arms in no time.

Allow Them to Grow Up
When it comes to raising a teenager, there is no right or wrong answer. You need to allow them to spread their wings in their own time without being too overbearing. Assess your teen as an individual and you will soon get to grips with how you need to respond as their parent.

As you raise your children you will start to discover that they are completely different to each other. Your best friend might have had the smoothest journey with their teenager, but you could have had the rockiest ride ever. Now you know that everybody’s experience is unique to them, so you will never be able to compare and contrast the two. Deal with your teenager in a way that feels right for you personally. If it is important for you to monitor their online safety, you should take special measures to do so. If you think it is more useful to give them space, do that. You know your child better than anybody else so you will know how to handle each situation as it arises. Raising grumpy and hormonal teenagers will never be easy, but you can get through even the darkest days with a little bit of positivity and bravery.

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Anything to add, parents in or who have survived the teen years?

10 Items of Note for my Teenage Self

I’m not a person who would like to go back and erase every bad choice or mistake I’ve made. I believe that our reaction to mistakes and fuck ups shape who we are and that every choice we make, good or bad, leads us to where and who we are right now. And I'd never change that.

I also know that sometimes you have to touch the fire to know it burns. Even if Current Me told Teenage Me these things, Teenage Me would give Current Me the finger and keep on doing what she was doing. That being said, if I was going to tell my teenage self some things, these would be those things.

1. Keep that Polaroid camera you got when you were 11. You’ll really want it when you’re 36 and it will cost eleventy billion dollars which you will have a hard time justifying.
2. Remember: people who talk shit are simply shit talkers.
3. Spend as much time as you can with your grandparents. Talk to them about what it was like when they were young. Soak up the time you have with them.
4. Savor every second of not working, having bills, or being responsible for anything.
5. All things end: good and bad. Appreciate what you have when you have it and hang in there when you don’t. 
6. Whatever qualifies as a huge deal now will not even be on your radar in 10 years. It’s not worth the angst or the stress.
7. Record every single episode of Beverly Hills 90210. Never get rid of your VCR.
8. In regards to college: don’t eat and drink whatever you want, study abroad
9. In regards to college: Go to a state college. You’ll save a ton of money. Better yet, go to a community college for a year or two, then a state college.
10. These are not the best years of your life as some people will tell you – but if you make it a goal to have the best time of your life every year, then you’ll always technically be in the best time of your life.

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Haikuesday

Advice. I have some.

Teenagers say "no thanks" though

Bastards would take cash.

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Speaking of teenage selves, happy happy birthday to one of my favorite friends since we were teenagers friends - Frank!

What would you tell your teenage self?

Linking up with Jana, and you should too!