Friday, May 1, 2015

Friday Five: Types of Assholes at the Park & Ride

Although the title might tell you differently, I do love that my train station is a park and ride. I've taken the train from other stations and finding a spot in a small lot or looking for street parking can be really stressful in the morning. That being said, the park and ride is not without its assholes...I mean, is any situation? Here are some types of assholes I encounter at the park and ride. 

1. The people who stop at the nonexistent stop sign. Sometimes the difference between making the train and not making the train is someone stopping at this nonexistent stop sign on the way into the station, yet they still do it every day. Rage spikes into the stratosphere on days when multiple people stop for no reason. I hate to start my day off laying on the horn but sometimes it must be done. 

2. Artful parkers in the morning. Again, we’re on a train time table. Chop chop. If you can’t park your car in one shot, you fail. No one has time to wait for you to finesse a perfect park job, backing in and out and in and out. It makes the people waiting to get past you feel like playing demolition derby with your vehicle. Are you in the lines? Good. Stop moving.

3. People who do not observe the exiting etiquette. Leaving the station is a complicated system but one you are introduced to quite quickly when you are a regular rider. There are three exits from the main parking lot and decorum calls for taking turns and letting people out. When you don’t do this, people let you know with horns, hand gestures, and yelling what an asshole you are yet some people speed their oblivious asses off acting like they see no one else waiting to leave. We recognize you as regular passengers, you dicks. We’re supposed to take turns letting each other out and you know it. 

4. People who block cars in. This seems like a no brainer, right? Do not sit in the lane with your car in park, making out like your life depends on it, then act butt hurt when people beep at you to move. Park your car in a spot and make out if you need to relive your teenage years. Or maybe make out not in public like other adults. 

5. Little bitches. When I wave you across the lane and inch up when you’re ¾ of the way through, still quite far from you, do not shake your head at me. Because I will roll down my window and say, “I’m sorry, did you have a problem with me waving you across?” and you will be left stuttering, "No."

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All of the sudden, it was May. Right? That came up like a rocket. I'm excited to have lunch with my friend Tara from high school today. Other than that, I have no commitments this weekend. This rarely happens and I really love that the weekend is stretched out before me, waiting to be meandered through. And it looks like it's going to be beautiful. Enjoy, friends!

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28 comments:

  1. I just split my gut over this: "then act butt hurt when people beep at you".

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  2. Add to that if people don't wave when you let them out. That annoys people. When did people stop learning how to act in public. Geesh. Enjoy the weekend meandering through. It will be a good one!

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  3. you must be taking the train at my station because allllllllllll of that happens on the regular. throw in chinese drivers who don't know how to drive or park or operate the car they're in and it's rage all the live long day. when i take the train downtown, i make sure to leave 30mins earlier just to get to the train station (which is only like, 10mins away) but park and navigate around the crazy drivers, the parking ridiculousness just so i can grab my ticket and board the train on time.

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  4. This makes me incredibly happy to 1. not own a car and 2. not need to drive anywhere LOL! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

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  5. LOL. So happy you are plan-free! Healing Ocean Oasis Opening Day! Hooray! 85 on Wednesday. Heater will be on for our Mother's Day by the pool next Sunday! JMJ on driving everywhere in this day and age. Lights and Angels around all of us and our modes of transportation eternally. I will sit on a pillow if I shrink in years to come. Some of these old ladies can't see over the steering wheel. Just reminded me of Moving Violations, lol!
    Love, Your Momma

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  6. haha my favorite has to be "little bitches" those drivers (and people) are there everywhere.

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  7. I don't do the train but my regular commute is fraught with idiots that have no sense of common courtesy. If I let you in and you proceed to leave 10 car lengths in front of you I will kill you. Try to keep up!

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  8. Uh humans are the worst. THE WORST~!

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  9. oh the joys of parking at the train station, i feel you pain. While I no longer have to park at the train station, I still remember what it was like when I did. Those little bitches...too funny. Have a great weekend.

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  10. So glad I can walk to the cta so there's no parking. But when I watch my parents dogs, I have to drive to the metra. And get there way early because there's only like 50 spots. I cannot imagine having to battle the giant lot you do, it would make me insane. #4 would drive me BONKERS.

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  11. Yesssss to the aholes who do something stupid in a time crunch, and get upset when you honk at them. Seriously?! Ugh..

    Happy Friday gurlie <3

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  12. Hahahahaha! I laughed just looking at the title- thank you for this!

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  13. Okay so the last one made me laugh out loud because I can totally picture you doing this and the sheepish look on their faces! Oh I wish I had the guts to do this sort of thing! All of these things apply to literally 95% of drivers in Kansas City....Seriously am I the only one that doesn't see the invisible stop sign?

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  14. I can relate. I deal with this shit too every single day commuting daily from where I live to downtown toronto. You always get the asshats that behave in a manner where it's like their first day commuting. Get with the program peeps!

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  15. Yeah, all of this would drive me bonkers in the morning... especially the stop sign people. We have a stretch like that where you merge with another road, but completely have your own lane, but some people still choose to dead stop and look at all the cars going by. I go insane (yeah, my road rage is coming out haha).

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  16. This also goes for school parking lots, grocery store parking lots...any parking lot. It's that whole "if you don't know what to do at a 4-way stop, just go home now) mentality.

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  17. lol, the morning commute battles!!! I just am on the train in the morning after leaving on foot from my building but still- there are equally horrible offenders that way too!!! My main one is people who think it's okay to smoke while we stand there. No. I always say something because I'm not trying to start my day like Marge Simpson's sisters ...

    love #5, ha.

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  18. I don't even think we have train stations here, let alone park and ride, but we certainly did at home and these kind of people would make me so ragey. especially the people who get butt hurt when I start moving up - um excuse me, the nose of your car is in front, you are fine, i'm not gonna just drive over you. get over it.
    have a good weekend!

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  19. This motivates me to write a post on traffic-circles. IT'S NOT THAT HARD PEOPLE!! and also, YIELD doesn't mean STOP! arrrrgghhh!!

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  20. Hahaha!! Little bitches and people making out! I cannot imagine blocking traffic to make out!

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  21. Posts like this make me glad I live in east bumble.

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  22. I obviously don't do the park n ride but I definitely feel your pain since I suffer from road rage and lack of patience for dumbasses. LOL@ little bitches.

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  23. At least I know PA tourists drive the same way at home as they do here! :)

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  24. People make me rage in general, but in their cars?!?!? I can feel my blood pressure raising and my eye start twitching just reading these things. Hope you have a great weekend!!!

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  25. 5 reasons I'm glad I don't take public transportation ;). Pedestrians need to chill. They were already safely across. LOL on your comment to them. Who says Philadelphians are rude? LOL.

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  26. Nailed it. The same is true here. I mean, really? Learn to park. And drive. And walk in crowds. And... and... :-)

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  27. Bahahaahaha... "Little Bitches." Seriously though... who cares about a perfect park job? As long as you're in the lines, fucking stop and GO.

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  28. Even though I cannot relate (because they still have horse and buggy down here in the south), this was so fucking funny. You'd hate the south. People here are the worst especially if you are in a hurry. It's like grandpa has to make out with his sister at the green light before he can go the hell on. Backwoods moron-osity. Seriously.

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