Feeling very Friday today

I'm feeling very Friday today. You? Coffee on the porch far too early this morning in my new mug from Lori.

Backyard vistas. I am crazy for solar lights.

Hates couch protectors. Ben is my interior decorator dog - he moves dog beds all over and removes as much of the couch covers as he can immediately.

I didn't make it to Thursday Thoughts yesterday, but I did get all my work work done, finally finish the 230498304 loads of laundry from the shore and home, returned two dresses, packed clothes and house laundry and food  and work stuff up to come back to the shore, picked up some of the shore shit I needed to replace in the house (and a polish, who can resist). Earlier in the week I completed the bloodwork for my physical, which I tend to put off. I'm feeling good about this week personally.

I'm back at the shore to stay for the first time since the beginning of June. I've been down and back three times since then to do turnovers, but I've missed being here. This will be a longer stretch for me and I get to see some of my favorites while here. 

I bought my stamps for holiday cards today because they're going up in two days. Thanks to Cory on Instagram for the tip off. 

Bruce is the laziest dog I have ever had.

Joy is in the smallest things. This week it's been dishtowels, getting back on the good book foot, finding that new lovely polish, not much traffic on the way to the shore. It is not in a clean oven. If you have any care about anything outside of yourself, it is so fucking hard to keep yourself on an even keel right now because you can do all the therapy, wellness work, personal inventory, boundaries, actual self care, etc., but the far reaching social issues that arise from massive structural inequality across every system in this country impact all of us and our mental and emotional health. Fight for yourselves and each other. We all deserve more ease in this life. 

And stickers. Since childhood and forever, always stickers. 

It's guns and...a lot of very American things tied up in toxic masculinity and white nationalism with a side of shitty social safety nets follow Amanda Faun on IG

Reminder: no one owes you a reason or a story for why abortion must be available to all pregnant people. People who are pregnant need abortions for medical reasons but also because they cannot or do not want to care for a child in the circumstance they are in, and before you go on about birth control or abstinence I will ask you what in the fuck you have said about men in regards to birth control and abstinence and the answer will be nothing so you can STFU about women and forcing birth on pregnant people and pivot yourself to responsible ejaculation. This country has zero social safety nets for unwanted children that are operating at the appropriate capacity and zero social safety nets for wanted children that people cannot afford to raise here that are operating at the appropriate capacity. This is about white men staying in control and THAT IS IT. 

How to help within the system we are currently operating in - carrying this over from last week for the resource links We must first take care of each other - fund abortion. Do not try to be a rogue actor because you feel the need to do something - I get the desire to be part of a "camping" crew but we must use the well established and networked organizations to safely help people. The best thing to do if you are able is open your wallet. Every organization below will take donations right now. If you are unable to donate, share these resources in your networks and encourage others to donate. Links:

Donate to abortion funds: National Network of Abortion Funds

Donate to organizations that provide travel to those seeking abortions: The Brigid Alliance

Know your digital security rights: Digital Defense Fund

Know your options: INeedanA.com, Plan C, Hey Jane

Support independent clinics: Keep Our Clinics

Support during or after a miscarriage or abortion: M+A Hotline, 1-833-246-2632 (call or text)

Legal advice: IfwhenHow - lawyering for reproductive justice

Take care of each other out there.

Cultivating daily happiness

Most people deserve to live a truly happy life that is filled with good times, but most of us will not because society LOL. How does one cultivate daily joy, even on the hard days? That should read Especially on the hard days, am I right? Otherwise what the hell is the point. Cultivating daily happiness can look like:

Stroll HomeGoods

I'm going tonight. It's the only chain store I missed shopping in during the height of the pandemic. HomeGoods happy is a hashtag because it IS REAL.

Take scissors to toxicity

There is simply not a consistently exciting and enjoyable life that is filled with toxic people, places, and things. Sorry to break that to folks who think that coexistence is possible. Letting go of toxicity of all kinds will lead you to a better place to examine and maintain your mental health. It doesn't have to be a big to do to let go of people, places, and things that cause you worry and stress. Just let that shit go quietly. At this point in the world, we all know toxicity is not healthy to have around you.

Use your best things

I don't save my favorite lotions and potions and outfits for special days. Every day has special potential.

Deal with pressing issues

Ignorance is bliss but ignorance doesn't make things go away. Deal with your shit so it's not taking up room that should be used for joy. Go to the doctor, find a therapist, cut the toxic people, talk to someone, quit smoking, check into a rehab center, write your bad things out on paper and set them on fire outside, whatever you need to do to move on for the long haul, do it. 

Help someone else

Huge shifts can take place in your mind and soul when you stop looking inward and do something to help someone else. 

Organize a drawer

Exerting control over small areas can spark joy

Getting off the internet

For real. 

Spending your 40 hours in the right place

We're not all looking to set the world on fire with your job, but no one wants to cry through the day or exist in a toxic environment for 40 hours a week. If where you are isn't working, look somewhere else. 

Rowing boats with the right people

You are required to attend nothing or keep up with anyone. I hope pandemic life gave everyone insight into who belongs in their boat and is worth making time for. 

How are you cultivating daily happiness? 

TWTW - the one with the circle of life

Friday I worked from home: homemade donuts (recipe tomorrow) and furry coworkers. When I work at home Gus stands on one side of me and whines, Geege stands on the other side, and Mae lays on the dog bed and stares at me like a creep.

Kim arrived from Boston and we attended a Friday night viewing for our friend Mike, then we slunk through Target and ate our sad feelings at Brother's.

Saturday morning mass and funeral luncheon. It is always so great to see everyone and always so terrible when the circumstances are a funeral. People live in my memories and I can always see them at various points in our lives, but the first thing that goes for me is a what a person's voice sounds like. It was good to hear so many voices again. Mike wrote a song way back when and two of the other Mikes sang it at the luncheon. It was very appropriate. I used to not understand post-funeral lunches. As an adult I understand how important it is to gather, remember, and share a laugh in an informal setting after a funeral service. It's the turn for most of us. And I was extremely happy to finally meet KVSR's little angel baby Natalia.

I spent the next hour and a half crying up the NJ Turnpike. I just needed to get a big ass cry out and I did. It was cleansing and exhausting. Not so exhausting that I couldn't hoard Laura & Chris's baby for the next hour and a half. The newest Michael in my life was born on Friday at 10 lb 13 oz. I adore that his initials are MBD - which in his case of course also stands for Major Big Deal - and I love him so much already. That black square is covering up his don't steal this baby monitor. Technology is awesome.

Kim went north to Boston and I went south on the Garden State Parkway to the shore. It was a shitty, rainy drive, and I was over it by the time I got there but wired from swirling emotions and coffee in addition to renter noise so I was up past midnight. Sunday I slept in until almost 10 and then hit the beach and the boardwalk for a little. If you go to Ocean City, you should check out the L.E.H. soap shop on the boardwalk. The two I got smell delicious.

The rest of Sunday I spent cleaning up the efficiency, cleaning out the alley, going to Big Lots for cutting boards/coffee/dog toys, painting my nails, and eating a meatball sandwich from Voltaco's with CSI Miami in the background. Missed you, over dramatic Horatio. I left the shore around 8.

Weekly food prep: breakfast is english muffins topped with PB and bananas; lunch is Wawa salads; and I'll figure  dinner out along the way. 

And it's the week before Memorial Day. Spring is still a fart in the wind and the temps this week make me think we're rolling into summer.

Happy birthday to my cousin Tracy today!