TWTW - the one for the moms

Friday I painted my nails in the morning (OPI verde nice to meet you) and hung a new mirror in the guest room. I spent a few hours at Mom's having lunch and doing one on one time for Mother's Day. I saw Rich for his birthday (today!) as he was heading out. I also saw Carol as her and my Dad were coming through Philly Thursday and Friday. 

Thursday night I couldn't fall asleep until 3 so I was spent after work Friday. We started Landscapers and crashed out on the couches after leftovers. 

Saturday Weather was abysmal and I did not want to get out of bed. Pouring and cold, I was wearing a turtleneck sweater and docs. We went to MFD's uncle Matt's funeral service, which was of course sad. I hate seeing people at something like that after a few years of seeing people never. It also wipes me out to be social now. What is normal. I was going to drive back to the shore at night, but I was worn out and the weather was not great driving weather so when we got home we got tea and settled on couches. I did laundry, changed sheets, updated some shore docs for this year, packed up for the shore, read some, had leftovers again for dinner, and we finished Landscapers and watched Almost Famous. 

Sunday There is absolutely never a time where one can drive on 95 south through Philly and not encounter dead stop traffic. Literally not a time. At all. When I got back to the shore I did my vitamins like a proper aged person, then set to doing some wall repair/nail filling and prep for touch up painting. While that dried MFD and I picked up dinner from Boyar's prepared food case.  

We also took a ride to the North End to see the erosion down there (bad) and our beach (better). The sea was angry that day, my friends. It was cool to see the sun come out though. Sun, what is that. 

When we got back we remade one of the completely unmade/all things being washed six beds (one bed left to undo/wash all, seven beds total). figured out where we're hanging wall stuff that's being updated this year, I painted the powder room ceiling (did not fix hatchet work of a previous patcher but it's fine), and finished a book.

Happy birthday to Rich today!!

Hope you had a good Sunday or Mother's Day or both. It seems disingenuous this year to lean in to celebrating  moms on a broad scale as a country if we're going to force all people who can carry children to become mothers, against their will and some at peril of their own death, dignity, or sanity. Could be the last year though, if fascists expect people who can get pregnant to increase the domestic supply of infants they might not allow it to be celebrated anymore because it is a duty to the state and not a choice. Super weird flex for people who allegedly don't like big government to support the state owning wombs. But I digress. 

Show Us Your Books is tomorrow. Hopefully spring will show up this week too.

TWTW - Q5 - funeral

Thursday I was working and by 9 I had showered, thrown a few bags in the car, and took off toward Cape Regional hospital where my mother in law passed away (that's my instagram caption, my personal FB one is longer but I'm not re-writing either here). I met my brother Stephen at Farley to get something I forgot in the rush to get out of the house, and MFD and I went to North Wildwood to get my MIL's paperwork. After regrouping and refueling, his siblings went home to get what they needed for the weekend/services. 

Friday I worked and MFD spent the morning arranging food donation pickups for recovery houses in Philly. He finally got a few hours of mental health fishing in. His siblings arrived back, and Mindy brought our dogs with her. Dogs know things, and Mae has not been okay since. She loved my mother-in-law. Sarah and I collaborated on dinner, and the kids went through pictures and paperwork. We did a zoom call with Frank, Amanda, Evan, AJ, and Chris and got a lot of much needed laughs. Thanks to Maureen for this MFD mullet photo.

Saturday I never imagined a funeral service like the one we had, especially in relation to my inlaws who have large extended families and longtime friends and kids with friends who have known their parents for a million years. To shrink that down to 10 people in the immediate family was wild. Godfrey Funeral Home in Ocean City was very nice and allowed 12 with her mom and brother going in for the first half hour as part of one household and leaving, then the rest of us (10) for the second half hour. I could do an entire post describing just that one hour experience in the funeral home under these covid circumstances. I know it was really hard for loved ones who could not be at the funeral, and hard for her kids to not have family and friends around. That will come in the future, when gatherings are allowed again in a larger capacity. It was as good as it could be under the circumstances. We consoled ourselves with chips and dip and bread and BUTTTTER after. My company sent food, and Lynn's BFF Patty brought us lasagna, fabulous bread, and flowers for the funeral. She also brought bubble wrap. My MIL was a well-known lover of bubble wrap so it was a totally appropriate sound she would giggle at under any circumstances but especially these and something only a best friend would think to do. Thanks Patty!

Sunday MFD and his brother went fishing and Mindy, Sarah and I went to my mother in law's to clean out the fridge and open pantry items. Everything still has to be dealt with so this family will be spending I'd guess the next month or two in some capacity doing that. We cleaned up a bit and I left with the two old dogs at about 7:45. I had packed in a huge rush and simply could not wear the same lounge pants one more night. Not like I could go out and just buy another pair and the main drawback of our house at the shore is no washer/dryer. I got back to Philly, started laundry, and chilled out with the old dogs. 

Weekly food prep: dinner tonight is asparagus, mashed sweet potatoes, and chicken in the air fryer. I have no idea what's ahead. I think we are planning to go back to the shore Wednesday.

I don't even know what we're doing right now. I need to try to envision how the next few weeks are going to play out. This post reads disjointed because my brain is caught between writing about this from the heart as a writer would and trying to process this new reality and map out what I need to do to support my husband the best that I can as him and his siblings do the tough work ahead. I can't do both this morning so I have to just hit post on this and leave the writing for the future to concentrate on the latter. 

That was not how I expected to return to the shore. MFD made sure to talk to our full time neighbors so they didn't think we just all of the sudden decided to buck the governor's request for people to stay in their primary residences and have people stay with us to do the same. They were all great about it. This is when it's good to  have a good relationship with your neighbors so they know you and your intentions and don't think you're an asshole doing whatever the hell you want. Covid turns a hard situation into an impossible situation, to half relocate to a place to deal with the closing out of a life, which still needs to be done regardless. Everything feels like the wrong thing to do. Dealing with someone's death and effectively closing down their life does not end when the service ends. It actually just begins then. It's not easy any time but it's definitely going to be harder for MFD and his siblings and all of us as a family under the auspices of coronaland. Of course made infinitely harder when it leaves you without parents as they are now. Keep them all in the light. 

TWTW - the one with the circle of life

Friday I worked from home: homemade donuts (recipe tomorrow) and furry coworkers. When I work at home Gus stands on one side of me and whines, Geege stands on the other side, and Mae lays on the dog bed and stares at me like a creep.

Kim arrived from Boston and we attended a Friday night viewing for our friend Mike, then we slunk through Target and ate our sad feelings at Brother's.

Saturday morning mass and funeral luncheon. It is always so great to see everyone and always so terrible when the circumstances are a funeral. People live in my memories and I can always see them at various points in our lives, but the first thing that goes for me is a what a person's voice sounds like. It was good to hear so many voices again. Mike wrote a song way back when and two of the other Mikes sang it at the luncheon. It was very appropriate. I used to not understand post-funeral lunches. As an adult I understand how important it is to gather, remember, and share a laugh in an informal setting after a funeral service. It's the turn for most of us. And I was extremely happy to finally meet KVSR's little angel baby Natalia.

I spent the next hour and a half crying up the NJ Turnpike. I just needed to get a big ass cry out and I did. It was cleansing and exhausting. Not so exhausting that I couldn't hoard Laura & Chris's baby for the next hour and a half. The newest Michael in my life was born on Friday at 10 lb 13 oz. I adore that his initials are MBD - which in his case of course also stands for Major Big Deal - and I love him so much already. That black square is covering up his don't steal this baby monitor. Technology is awesome.

Kim went north to Boston and I went south on the Garden State Parkway to the shore. It was a shitty, rainy drive, and I was over it by the time I got there but wired from swirling emotions and coffee in addition to renter noise so I was up past midnight. Sunday I slept in until almost 10 and then hit the beach and the boardwalk for a little. If you go to Ocean City, you should check out the L.E.H. soap shop on the boardwalk. The two I got smell delicious.

The rest of Sunday I spent cleaning up the efficiency, cleaning out the alley, going to Big Lots for cutting boards/coffee/dog toys, painting my nails, and eating a meatball sandwich from Voltaco's with CSI Miami in the background. Missed you, over dramatic Horatio. I left the shore around 8.

Weekly food prep: breakfast is english muffins topped with PB and bananas; lunch is Wawa salads; and I'll figure  dinner out along the way. 

And it's the week before Memorial Day. Spring is still a fart in the wind and the temps this week make me think we're rolling into summer.

Happy birthday to my cousin Tracy today!