Thursday Thoughts - in full FI mode

1. My attitude this week, for no specific reason aside from a possible link to the summer Fuck It Phase:

2. I am a 40 year old woman who consistently gets zits in the same two spots. The latest in my attempt to throw money at the problem. I got a great deal and honestly? I've always felt like I was washing my face poorly. This has a timer like my Sonic toothbrush. It's like learning to care for yourself all over again as an adult who should already know this shit. 

3. Things that have annoyed me on my neighborhood facebook groups this week: eleventy billion people reporting that their trash has not been picked up to all of us on facebook but only seven to 10 people actually reporting a problem to the city (Philly page); eleventy billion people asking what to do with kids on a rainy day at the shore (OCNJ page, question has been asked and answered 203948203948023948 times in the history of the page). You?

4. Immediately after I said I haven't watched TV forever last Thursday I started watching Ozark. I have one episode left. I love Jason Bateman and really like Laura Linney in this too. I can't recall loving her in anything in the past. Everyone in town is crazy or has a sneaky side hustle or weird secret. My kind of show. 

5. I've already purchased a new sweatshirt, pair of leggings, kicking around shoes I can wear at work, athleisure shoes, and old lady black comfortable enough to commute in shoes for the fall. If you can't tell, I'm turning over all of my shoes right now and those that are not comfortable for old lady feet must go. Aside from a new sweater or two, I'm probably set for the season though thanks to some good Nordstrom sales. Someone remind me of this later when I want to buy shit I don't need because it's pretty.  

6. Is anyone else concerned that two man toddlers are in a pissing match over nuclear war and we have no one working our State Department right now? In a world where everyone has nukes, we need diplomacy. Not threats to use them. A president must be able to de-escalate conflict, not disregard advisers in favor of doing and saying whatever the fuck he wants in public to ramp it up and endanger the world. That's what Kim Jong-un does. We're so worried about him because he's crazy and unpredictable. Those traits describe our own leader. He is unhinged and mentally unfit to hold the office. It is time to invoke the 25th Amendment. But never mind this paltry shit. Let's go back to discussing her emails. I'm alarmed by how many people seem A-ok with nuclear war. You guys, what are we even fucking doing?

7. Two things to keep your eye on: a) State TV is coming your way soon via Trump TV - just like North Korea and Russia, you will hear what the government wants you to hear! Have you brushed up on your 1984 lately? I see many of you have. If you don't like the sound of any of this, you can call the FCC at 1-888-225-5322. B)  The U.S. Global Change Research Program Climate Science Special Report that this inept administration will undoubtedly try to label as fake news being that they are science deniers is out for you to peruse.  

8. I never thought I'd be an avid reader of a pastor blogger but damn if John Pavlovitz has not been resonating with me, one of the least religious people on earth. Take some of these excerpts (below) from a recent blog post about why he opposes Donald Trump - I feel like they were written from my own heart, especially about the reasons why I continue to call out what I see and how this goes far beyond one man and even beyond politics in general. And this reverberated so fiercely within me: I'm probably not going to apologize for being passionate about people. Me neither, John. But in my case make probably definitely. That's a promise.

9. Reminder:

10. E-card of the week: Some weeks. Like this one. LOL

Congrats to Christy P for winning my $60 six year anniversary giveaway. 

Today is my Friday.
shanananaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Neighborhood facebook groups are on my last fucking nerve

Neighborhood facebook groups are on my last fucking nerve recently. They've degenerated from places to share info or ask questions into places to bitch incessantly. Those who live in the neighborhood and have no lives hang on every post to add their two cents, even when their contribution is off-topic, and the next thing you know there are 590 bullshit comments.

I swear over the past three months for every 10 posts, nine of them are negative. And in the comments of the one positive post lurks someone trying to turn the conversation towards the negative because they just can't help themselves.

People seem to spend 97% of the time lamenting over how things are changing and it's everyone else's fault but theirs, 3% of the time ignoring what posts are about and going off on their own diatribe, and 0% of the time thinking of what they could personally do to make their communities better places. Sweet Jesus what a positive impact it would have on the community if people acted with as much fervor as they posted. Reminder: posting on the internet in private groups doesn't count as working hard to be a good member of your community.

There are a few types of people in these groups. The person I hate the most is the one with big internet balls who acts tough and calls people out online instead of knocking on their door and discussing things like adults do. You know, those if you have a problem, you know where to find me people. All the eye rolls, you attention whoring idiot. The person on these sites I love the most is the one who is a comedian in the comments and who keeps up neighborhood running jokes. We need someone to lighten things up and you are heroes.

I'm on a page for our neighborhood in Philly and one for the shore. I literally spend most of my time reading them with my mouth agape. People are fucking crazy and judging from what they post, they don't care who knows it. I have to watch my consumption of these groups because too much has me hating my neighbors and where I live. Don't get me wrong - I know the comfort that comes with commiserating over a common problem, but when it tips too far into everything is a problem and we're all going to die, it's time to get out.

Is this everywhere? Does your neighborhood have one? Does good come out of it or is it Debbie Downerville?

Things that happened this week

1. I made a healthy shamrock shake. That is a lie. I made a healthy shake (handful of baby spinach, frozen banana, cup of ice, teaspoon of vanilla) and added peppermint to it so it tasted minty. It did not in any way taste like a shamrock shake.

2. We finally watched the finale of Parks and Rec and I cried. More than once. I'll miss you Pawnee!

via

3. Self tanning started back up. My products of choice are Jan Marini Bioglycolic Sunless Self Tanner for my face and Banana Boat Summer Color Self-Tanning Lotion for my body. The Jan Marini is worth the price - it doesn't clog my pores or make me look orange, I don't find the odor offensive, and I look like I have some color without the sun damage and old lady wrinkles that accompany the real thing. As always, exfoliate like a boss before applying any self tanner or you'll come out looking like a freaky streaky Oompah Loompah.

4. My friend Kelly from Boston sent me TWO containers of the sacred sea salt caramels from Whole Foods that you can't get here to kick off my birthday month. Hallelujah and amen. Thank you Kelly!

5. It cracks me up when people on Facebook who are frequent riders of the hot mess express switch gears and post statuses giving grandiose life advice to the world. That time would be better spent getting your own house in order, am I right? And, I don't know, when you're losing your shit maybe the first place you turn shouldn't be the facespace. If you need to let it all hang out, text your best friend. As the song goes, that's what friends are for. That is not, however, what Facebook is for.

6. Birthday month treat yoself from LOFT and Old Navy Outlets. My LOFT purchases were supposed to be $156 and were $76 after sales and my birthday month coupon. I had stuff to return to Old Navy, so I paid nothing for these and have a credit leftover. Winning. I'm glad I checked out the outlets of both stores.

7. If you follow me on Instagram you are quite familiar with my Saturday and Sunday (and vacation) coffee mug photos. So I thought I'd show you MFD's mug of choice recently. That's right. My Dirty Dancing mug from Kerry. He seeks it out and he's proud of it.

8. Ice. Snow. Bullshit. Tuesday night sucked for ice and Thursday I worked from home due to snow. I'm quite thankful I have the ability to work from home in inclement weather. My train line went down numerous times during the time I'd be commuting home.

9. Pros to working from home: quiet, lots of projects get done that I never seem to find time for in the office, can work in pajamas, nicely scented tarts and candles, don't lose two hours of the day to commuting, can lounge on the couch and watch a show and have freshly made naan pizza for lunch, MFD makes breakfast, overall more gets done. Cons: furry coworkers are alternately lazy, needy, and barky.

10. This is like a delayed Thursday Thoughts post, isn't it? So then a weekly e-card seems appropriate. Link up with me & Jana for Show Us Your Books on Tuesday!

Now lay it on me - what happened with you this week? Good, bad, ugly...I want to hear about it!

Snarky Thursday

One of my favorite television clips of all time is the inimitable 

Olivia on Toddlers & Tiaras whispering,

"I.don't.like.you" in her mother's ear. Hilarious. 

Things I don't like this week:

• Women's dry cleaning is more expensive than men's. Hate.
• Weight is so much easier to put on than it is to take off. 
• Being out of shape. Last night, I popped in the Jillian Michaels DVD. Her name should be Killian Michaels because is a beast with a snarl, but she kicks ass. If I wasn't so out of shape I would be able to sit down on the toilet or lift my arms over my head without cringing. No one's fault but my own!
• The first sentence of a blog post often paralyzes me. I spend too much time dicking around with it. It's like going on a first date. Should I say hello or just enter into it? Is this moment serious or flippant? Overthinking ruins blogs and dates. 
• Receiving one zillion game requests on FB. I don't play the games, people. I don't play the games. In fact, I've hidden the games, but I keep getting the invites. 
• People who manage to make themselves victims in every situation. 
• I'm all out of Homelands to watch for what appears to be a very long time. SHOWTIME, give me some new episodes for the love of all that is holy.
• Snoring. Between MFD and the snuffly pugs, I need ear plugs.
• Multimedia. MFD and I have been together for 10 years, and he still plays something with noise on a phone when the TV is on, which drives me batshit crazy. At least at this point all I have to do is yell, "MULTIMEDIA!" and he mutes the TV. So there's that. 
• People who stand at the top of the steps that lead down to the train platform looking at the board as people are running right for them like their ass is on fire to catch their train below. Someone is going to fall and I really hope it's not me. Although falling is funny.

Let's end on a good note:

1. This blog now has a Facebook page. Please go and like the hell out of it. Thank you.

2. Christina at Easily Entertained is celebrating her birthday on Sunday. And in an act of kindness, instead of gifts, she's trying to raise money for charity:water. This is such an important and worthy cause. Please go here and donate if you're so inclined. You can't imagine how much of a difference a $5 donation can make to people who don't have access to clean water. 

If you donate, head back to her blog and enter her giveaways. You donate and people get free water AND you get a chance to win prizes. Winner winner, chicken dinner, framily. Go get it. 

Linking up with

No apologies

There are times in life when apologies are necessary - when you hurt someone's feelings; when you want to convey your sympathy for the situation someone is in, when you spill red wine in someone's lap; when you forget someone's birthday.

Then there are things you shouldn't apologize for, and the things you know you won't ever apologize for...what are yours? Here are mine:

1. Thinking Beverly Hills 90210 is the greatest show to ever air on television. My car is named Kelly Taylor. That's right.

photo: sharetv.org

2. Laughing in inappropriate situations, or laughing at farts and people falling.

3. Liking something too quickly on facebook. Sorry to disappoint those who think I'm creeping on them. I'm not going to read something and think "Oh, I have to remember to go back and like that later so I don't seem like a creeper now." Live in the moment, people.

Photo: boston.com

4. Being organized, thinking and planning ahead, labeling shit and being prepared. It's served me well, and to those who say I'm anal, I say toodleoo and why do you care if I'm organized? I don't care that you're disorganized.

photo: undeniablestyle.com

5. Demanding silence when I am trying to fall asleep. I need quiet and dark.

6. Being hungover. I drank too much while having an awesome time, what's it to you?

7. Being a feminist. Women don't get paid the same, women are still victims of abuse and rape and discrimination, women's health/safety/reproductive rights are still threatened both here in America and around the globe...we are so far from equality I can't even see it on the horizon.

8. Treating my dogs like furry children, letting them sit on the furniture and sleep where they please, even if it is on top of my head.

9. Refusing to read 99.9% of nonfiction books.

10. Saying no to invitations even when nothing is on my calendar - I am very easily a victim of my own over scheduling, so now I schedule in free-time.

11. Liking my alone time. I love MFD, but I also love being alone in my house to putter and daydream.

12. Calling bullshit on someone.

photo: dailykos.com

13. Liking stupid movies. Keep your fa fa The English Patient movies. I'll take Moving Violations any day.

14. Having my mood be directly related to the quality of the nail polish on my nails.

15. Being me. I am always working on myself, seeking better ways to be and do, vacuuming negativity out of my aura, sucking knowledge in daily, but at the end of the day, I am myself. Warts and all. If you don't like me, that's totally ok. But that's your issue, not mine. Don't expect me to apologize for being me.

I hope you all list #15 as something you'll never apologize for, being you is your very essence. Swim in it.

I Don't Get It - Volume V

It's been a while.

What tis this? I don't get poop brown face that is a result of too much tanning and a money shot of bronze shoe polish every morning. The second one has to be fake, yes? 

Photo: debatepolitics.com

How dog hair seems to multiply by the thousand in spring.

Passive aggressive status updates on facebook. If you have beef with someone, talk to them about it. If you must post about it on facebook, call them out by name. Don't post something to the effect of "I guess some people just don't value friendship like I do," or something equally lame. And no, I'm not talking about any of you in particular so don't be all "She's a hypocrite! p.s. Do you think she's talking about me?"

Why I feel guilty when I have the day off from work, like I'm playing hooky or doing something I shouldn't be doing.

Photo: leftyconcarne.wordpress.com

(Cr)Applebee's. I have literally never come away from a meal there without having dinareena. TMI? You asked for it by eating at Crapplebee's.

If MFD was writing this, his contribution would be: Why do you put your ipod on shuffle and then fast forward through songs? In the words of Bobby Brown, it's my prerogative.

Photo: en.wikipedia.org

Have a glorious weekend. I hope all you mommas out there treat yourselves well every day, but especially on Sunday.

Life lessons A to Z

Happy Wednesday, worldwideweb! As part of my birthday month, I thought I'd share an A to Z of some things I've learned along the way in life. Enjoy! And try not to be a dbag today, to yourself or anyone else.

A. Actions speak louder than words. Do what you say you're going to do.

Photo from leloveimage.blogspot.com

B. Don't think so much. Just be. This is my favorite quote from the fabulous novel Ordinary People.

C. Comparison is the thief of joy. Appreciate what you have, don't worry about anyone else or what they have.

D. Don't drink and drive, and don't be an asshole drunk.

E. Excuses are lame.

F. Facebook is not a therapy office, nor is it a place to air dirty laundry. It's a social network. The End.

Photo from sanespaces.com

G. Graciously accept aging - some people don't have the privilege of growing old.

H. Honesty is the best policy.

Photo from letsbehonestdho.blogspot.com

I. If you don't love yourself, nothing else matters.

J. Jail is bad, so don't do anything that might land you there if you get caught, mm'kay?

K. Karma doesn't have a statute of limitations. Treat others how you want to be treated.

Photo from grazesandgroanswithlifesspillsandthrills.wordpress.com

L. Laughter cures most things. So do loving and loyal friends.

M. Manage your expectations of others and of situations and you will be happier overall and less bitter about things you never had any control over anyway.

N. NO DRAMA - don't create it and don't participate in it. It's like Beetlejuice. Don't even say it.

O. Own up to your part in things and take responsibility.

P. Play the best hand you can with the cards you've been dealt.

Q. Quit blaming other people for what's in your life. Whatever is there is there until you choose to get rid of it.

R. Race the sun - have productive and full days. You'll sleep better at night.

Photo from blog.wireguided.com

S. Stand up for what's right, especially when nobody else will.

T. Take vacations, enjoy every day, and have fun.

U. Use correct spelling and grammar.

No lie, I was fortunate enough to be behind this guy this very morning. Please sir, the possessive...you're killing me.

V. Vote. It's a privilege many people in the world don't have, and one of your freedoms that many soldiers died to protect. The least you could do is inform yourself about candidates and issues and pull the lever.

W. The world doesn't owe you anything, so check your sense of entitlement at the door. If you want something, you have to work for it.

Photo from themillionairesecrets.net

X. eXtremists are bad news and tend to ruin things.

Y. You can't control what other people do or say, but you can control your reaction to it.

Z. Zen states are good.


Sayonara, amigos.

SMD