Friday, September 26, 2014

Friday Five: Roles I Play in my Relationship

In keeping with the marriage theme this week since yesterday was our wedding anniversary, today I'm talking about roles I play in my marriage.


1. The Schedule Keeper - If you want to know if we can make it, you should probably just ask me. If you ask MFD,  he'll say I think so and then text or call me immediately to see if we're actually free, already booked, or have planned to not be free (AKA do nothing at home).
1a. The Vacation Planner - This is number one's little sister. Once the destination is picked, I make all of the arrangements and check in with him for opinions on restaurants, excursions, make sure his must dos made the list, etc.

2. The Detail Person - I'm concerned with how things go on a day to day basis and what we're doing/seeing/spending/saving now (which translates into The Bookkeeper). MFD is the big picture guy. That's an important balance to have, we remind each other of things the other one does not consider.

3. The Straight Man - In our comedy duo, MFD is the genial funny man and I'm the one who delivers the sarcastic line. We play well off one another.

4. The Hard Ass - When someone needs to be the heavy (with a company, about service, with someone who's being an asshole) or when someone needs to be told no...that's me. This week's shit list included Comcast and Verizon.

5. The Cook - We're actually both good cooks, but I end up doing most of it for various reasons including scheduling and the fact that I like to plan and prep ahead in regards to meals. I also really enjoy it. MFD typically makes a meal when he's seen it on TV and has a burning desire to make it. In that case he'll go out and do all of his own shopping for it as well.

What roles do you play in your relationship?

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32 comments:

  1. Sounds like a good yin and yang. I would totally be the sarcastic hard ass. I am a bit of a free bird but also a planner.

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  2. I'm definitely the planner and the detail person. Neither of us is the cook - it's a problem haha!

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  3. Nice balance. So funny about him making a meal he sees on t.v.

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  4. EXACT SAME ROLES. another reason we're kindred spirits. i'm also the book-keeper. my husband cycles with a bunch of guys and all the wives are friends. we're referred to as "CEO" so if there are potential plans or they want to make plans to cycle, they say "not sure; i have to check with the CEO" LOLZ

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  5. Comcast will forever be on my shit list. I cannot wait to be done with them.

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  6. Oh wow- I play all the same roles. I have a calendar hanging in the kitchen so if I'm not around he can confirm availability!

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  7. I am totally the scheduler, detail person & cook. Troy is a good cook, but he tends to get home late from work so it falls to me. I also prefer to prep ahead of time. And it's so funny because even if he wants to pick up an extra shift at work he checks with me to see if he's free that day. Hah.

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  8. I'm Grace's straight man. She is the clown.
    I also make an EXCEPTIONAL hard ass. I suggest folks not fuck with me.

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  9. I am the scheduler and planner (ie- I steal your plans). Just last night, Steve came to bed "I'm going out with Dan tomorrow night," and I said "No you're not, cause we have Friend's Dinner." I also 99% of the time choose where we go out to eat. I'm the hard ass and the sarcastic one. Steve manages the money and I spend it.

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  10. um wow, describe my relationship much? I am definitely the schedule keeper and vacation planner, and sometimes people ask my husband things or tell him things and then when we don't show up because he forgot to give me the invitation or whatever..... gah! lol. and the hard ass - seriously, my husband always turns to me if we need to complain about something - bills, cold food, rude people.... I'm like damn am I that much of a bitch?

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  11. Just instagrammed some pics from your wedding #flashbackfriday! This weekend weather is almost the same!
    I am messy organized and get things done-nowhere near anal. I am a nurturer, roll with it baby, not caring about what I have to do to make things happen that I think my people/pups need. Surface cleaner all the time. Great cheerleader and supporter (athletic supporter just popped into my head from the Grease morning announcements) Being a housewife-mother the past few years has changed my life and I am loving it. I am the schedule person, the make sure we have everything we need to eat and drink in the house. Cooler packer, gatherer of items to go on our
    road trips. The best thing is to be a great TEAM. You guys got it going on and I do, too! Lucky us!
    Happy weekend. Love your MOMMA

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  12. I definitely share many of these with you! I hate having to be the hard ass, but one of us has to be. For us, sometimes I feel like that goes hand in hand with schedule keeper.

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  13. I'm the person who manages the money, go to person for the kid, and the alpha dog as far as all pets in the house are concerned.

    He's the cook, provider of constant humor, and the car care person for all three vehicles.

    Neither of us is the hard ass we both are, it just takes him longer to get there than it does me.

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  14. I am definitely Jason's event planner/scheduling manager. We just recently started linking our plans on Google to check our phones. OY

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  15. I play those roles too! Especially #1, 2 & 5!

    I think my OCD is the reason why I play those roles. But, no one else seems to mind!

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  16. I play most of these roles in my relationship too. Definitely the planner and decision maker, we share cooking during the week and I'm definitely the hardass/ almost borderline bitch in the relationship. lol

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  17. I am most certainly the Schedule Keeper/Vacation Planner, and also the Peacemaker. When anyone, particularly RJ, flies off the handle for any reason, I'm the one to bring him back down to reality. He's the hard ass. And he does the same thing with the burning desire to make something he sees on TV- I don't mind at all!

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  18. We' have VERY similar roles. I am 100% the schedule keeper. And man, with both kids in school and sports now our calendar is packed! But because I'm in control of it, I also make more plans than Jacob does. He wanted to go on a hike and was like, "you have something going on every weekend for six weekends!" We figured it out and squeezed him in though. Haha! I also do all the Costco and Target shopping, and I buy the clothes for the whole family, but Jacob grocery shops. I plan every vacation, event and outing. No one really bookkeeps and that's an issue. We need to be more careful about how we spend. I'd say we split cooking 50/50, though he's been doing more of that lately.

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  19. You guys definitely seem to have a good yin and yang going on :) I would say I hold #1 for sure, mutual friends don't even bother to ask P about plans, they just come to be directly. He always checks with me about other plans too. P likes to look stuff up for vacation but the actual scheduling of activities generally falls on me. P cooks more than me, but he also enjoys it...I will cook sometimes and probably more now since I'm housewiving it currently.

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  20. I'm definitely the schedule keeper/vacation planner as well. The vacation planning is fun, I only wish he would provide some insight so I didn't wonder if we were missing out on something he wanted to do.

    Dave is the "hard ass" so to speak because I don't have the patience for those people. He's much more calm, patient and gets things done with companies haha

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  21. hhaaaha! I'm the scheduler AKA I remember stuff. My bf likes to say that I am a planner and he flies by the seat of his pants. AKA he doesn't plan when necessary. LOL

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  22. I like this! Chris is most certainly the person that has to be the hard ass. I let people walk all over me and have a hard time saying no. I am the one that keeps our schedule and reminds him of conflicts or plans he has made and forgotten about. We both plan our trips, but I let him make the decisions on where we eat and what we do. I am the housekeeper and the cooker....and apparently the lawn person too.

    Chris kills spiders outside of the house, with his air soft gun. I am the killer of bugs inside the house. I would like to argue our arrangement on this.

    Chris is in charge of all tech and media related things. He makes sure we have all of our shows, that our internet is working the best that it can, and keeps us current on all forms of phones, came consoles, satelite boxes and functions, etc.

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  23. Happy anniversary! I think I'm more like your husband. I'm gonna move to Philly so you can cook for me too lol :)

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  24. Happy Anniversary!!!

    I'm definitely the schedule keeper- Doug always checks in with me to see if we're free. Partially because he never listens to me when I tell him we have plans. He has to be the hard ass though...I like to say I'll yell and be mean, but it never happens.

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  25. I'm definitely the schedule keeper, too. I'm also the Communicator, as in "if you want me to know something tell me, not Aaron because he won't pass it on, and if you want an answer to a text/email, send it to me and not Aaron."

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  26. I definitely play the planner, the schedule keeper, the bill payer/chef/general housekeeper, and the straight man. I'm also the quiet, behind the scenes one. My husband loves to be the center of attention. I do not. But he does steal my jokes to make himself look better. So maybe I'm the closet funny one.

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  27. I trained Leland early that he needs to check with me before making plans because I'm the keeper of the calendar. We don't share finances yet, so we each are our own bookkeeper. I fear that when we do get married and share finances that I will get in trouble for my frivolous spending because I always seem to NEEEEEEDDDD whatever silly online purchase I make

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  28. Oh we all know I'm the schedule keeper :) My favorite role!

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  29. Tony used to be a terrible cook but he has gotten so much better. He is for sure the gift/shower/wedding person which is odd for guys, but he love it. haha and I am most definitely the hard ass, he is wayyyyy nicer.

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    Replies
    1. I suck at buying gifts, so if there's not a registry or wish list I'm screwed. Some help in that department would be nice!

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  30. I'm the schedule keeper, too. At LEAST twice a week Pete will ask: "Do we have anything going on this weekend?" I mean, why look AT THE CALENDAR ON THE FRIDGE WITH OUR SHARED ACTIVITIES when you can just ask, right?! ;P

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