Thursday Thoughts: Mine are not together yet, but carry on.

1. I usually start the new year with my poop in a pile ready to get down to business. As discussed yesterday, in the opening week of this year my poop is more like a Jackson Pollock painting. I've been holding my planner in a kung fu grip so I can get my shit together before vacation in a few weeks.

Via 

2. Last weekend we went to the shore to take pics of the house so we could list it on VRBO. If you know someone who's looking to rent in the southern Jersey Shore region, specifically in Ocean City, please share the link with them. Thank you! Outtake: MFD also decided to winterize it...and turned the water off before he told me he was winterizing it. Then as soon as I found out the water was off, I had to go to the bathroom because that is always the way.

3. Countdown to Africa: 12 days. This week I got a typhoid shot and picked up my prescription for malaria and cipro. And fought with MFD about if we needed a yellow fever shot or not. He says no, I say why not. So if all you see from Africa is photos of us being detained in the airport, you know who to blame. Just kidding, the CDC agrees with him. People who have survived 14 hour flights - please share your tips! And drinking booze and taking pills don't count. If you have noise cancelling headphones that didn't cost an arm and a leg, hook a sister up with a link please.

4. Did I tell you guys I got a bluetooth type device that is going to tell me where my keys are every time I lose them? Stay tuned to see if this works. I really need it to work based on all the key fuckery that I subject myself to.

5. Just a reminder as we start a new year:

6. So I broke my gel nails on vacation only rule and got them over Christmas. Now I want to take them off and I have to do it at home so I'm avoiding it. People who remove at home, any tips?

7. I finished Making a Murderer this week. I have some opinions about innocence in regards to these two subjects of the docuseries, but most of the takeaway for me was about fair trials and preconceived notions we might go in with, regardless of our role in the system (judge, law enforcement, lawyer, accused, juror). What an eye opener about the legal system and what people are up against - especially uneducated people. One of the many lawyers said something in the last episode that has really stuck with me about how you think the system works until it works against you or someone in your family, and then you really see the cracks. And that it could happen to any of us. I'd like to share more thoughts but I don't want to ruin it. Watch it with an open mind!

8. The next Show Us Your Books is on Tuesday. I had a little over two weeks of meh reads - I bounced back and forth between a few books that were not really lighting a fire under my ass. I picked it up this week with Black-Eyed Susans. We also have a new button if you're interested, and you can get it on the right sidebar.

9. Blah blah I know. Look, us looking gross with our dogs over the holiday slow time:

10. I'm putting my money where my mouth is in regards to raising money and awareness for homeless youth, one of the most under-served age groups in the homeless population. On March 18 I'll be joining friends for Covenant House's Sleep Out to Support Homeless Youth. I'll be sleeping outside to raise awareness and money for homeless kids - homeless teens on their own often slip through the cracks with few places to turn - they are the most under-served group in the homeless population. Covenant House is the largest privately-funded agency providing food, shelter, immediate crisis care, and essential services to homeless youth in 27 cities in North America.They strive to move each young person forward down a path to an independent adulthood, free from the risk of future homelessness. I need to raise $1,000 for these kids by February 19. Thanks to the generosity of my people, I am within $200 of that goal. Any small amount helps. If you can donate, please click here. p.s. did you know you can age out of participating in this? You can. I'm in the last year of eligibility with my old ass. Thanks to Catie & Joe for opening my eyes to this opportunity and for the invite to join their team!

11. Ecard of the week: 

Keys are our Kryptonite

If we go away together and share a room, I will always call "not it" on being responsible for having a key. I will lose my key at some point, requiring visits to the front desk to get the room re-keyed.

My key issues go back many years. When I moved back home after college, downstairs was a fortress but my window was usually open up on the second floor. So when I misplaced my keys, I'd haul a big ass ladder through the yard, prop it up, and get my ass into a second story window, which required climbing on a perilous little ledge of a roof. Often drunk as a skunk after a night at the Hulmeville. Sorry Dad and Carol. At least I never broke my neck? Silver linings.

Countless incidents of key fuckery are why at least nine people have a key to our house. I continue to lock myself out, which, whatever, I'm used to the key fuckery. It doesn't help that you can open our front door from the inside and not know it's locked until you turn the outside knob.

But last year a bad thing started to happen. MFD came down with the key flu. I have to say I'm surprised it took more than 11 years with me for him to catch it. It's worse than the fucking plague.

His descent into key hell began as a joint  incident. I took the train to work and MFD called to inform me I had both car keys and he and had locked himself out of the house. On crutches. With a closing and an orthopedist appointment to go to. I called my mom like mother please help.

As the year progressed, MFD started locking himself out more frequently. I was like dude...I know. These fucking keys have it out for us. Or we're dumbasses. Probably both.

A few weeks ago, I locked both of us out of the house on a Monday night. Three days later, he locked himself out with another doctor's appointment and a meeting to attend.

Since these types of things happen in threes, a few days after that he locked the keys in the trunk in a loading zone in Center City. The locksmith was two hours out and $190. The PPA was closing in and he had an actual deal closing he had to get to, so the back window had to be broken out a la Johnny Castle in Dirty Dancing.

He was getting it fixed at 9:30 the next morning for $132. So an overall savings compared to $190? Fuck me. The best part is that he told me very casually a few hours later. Because what could I say? I couldn't freak out. I have the worst case of key flu known to man.

Thank God for our neighbors and framily who accept that keys are our kryptonite and just bring us the key when we call. If it's stupid and involves keys, it's happening to us.  And before you suggest I hide a key outside, I've done that. A few times. And lost those too. So thanks but no thanks. MFD is ordering an extra lockbox for us because I and now we suck so hard with keys.

What's your kryptonite?

Don't miss tomorrow's blog - Geege is finally making his debut. And visit my facebook page today to share a quick & easy healthy recipe for a chance to win $20 you call it on Friday. The post is pinned to the top of the page.

It's in the bag

Hold the phone: I switched purses. I don't do this as often as I'd like to. I have a lot of purses I love, but I tend to forget and just keep going in the one I'm in. I've been using the black Coach since September, and since I was wearing my new mustard shoes on Saturday, it inspired me to go to my mustard purse. While I'm not that person who matches bags to shoes - although I wish I did it more - it is what usually prompts me to initially make the purse switch.

Now, for the burning question: what's in my purse? I am one of those weird people who is always interested in what other people carry with them. Christina at Easily Entertained did a post like this, and I said next time I change my purse, I'm on it. Well friends, the time has come.

1. My wallet - I've been using this one for almost a year. I like those birds. The bird is the word. It's probably time for a new one though. Guess what? This wallet also currently contains $17. This is very rare. I never have cash.

2. Trident cinnamon is my go to gum.

3. Wet Ones. Sometimes I clean my car dash with these at stoplights.

4. 2012 - 2014 purse size planner. This keeps my dates only, no To Dos or anything of the sort. Yes, I have an iPhone and a computer. I still use paper. It's my woobie.

5. My trusty train pass with my building access card behind it. I've been carrying those in an orange and pink luggage tag with the letter S on the front for five years. It is beyond time to get a new vessel to carry those babies. And my work keys.

6. My Casio Exilim and my notebook. Not pictured but always on me: my texting phone, my iPhone, and a pen.

7. Also not pictured, but always in there: the book I'm reading and a bottle of water. I cannot be without a book or a drink. Mama needs a big bag.

8. This is what's serving as my hand cream right now. I need to go to a richer one for winter.

9. Neosporin lip health is always in a zipper pocket, never in my makeup bag. That Be a Bombshell gloss (in Hot Mess) escaped from my makeup bag.

10. My makeup bag. It's washable, because it gets totally gross.

Dumped:

Sorted:

Clinique Almost Lipstick - Black Honey

Clinique Chubby Stick - Graped Up

Clinique Different Lipstick - A Different Grape

Baby Lips - Grape Vine

Baby Lips - Cherry Me

Bobbi Brown Creamy Lip Color - Italian Rose

Five lip liners - two Palladio, two Avon, one Jordana

Urban Decay Lip Junkie Lipgloss - Midnight Cowboy

Escape purse size

Hair tie

CoverGirl compact that I use just for the mirror - the powder is vampire colored

MAC Lipstick - Capricious

MAC Lipstick - Snob

MAC LipGlass - Viva Glam VI

MAC Pro Longwear Lipglass - Boundlessly Beige

It would seem that I have a thing for lip products. Because aside from a mirror, a spot of perfume, and a hair tie, there's no makeup in there that is not a lip product. 

What's in your purse or man bag?

Linking up with Helene for Tell Me About it Tuesday.