Thursday Thoughts - So how many daughters, tell me, how many sons do we have to have to put in the ground

I don't even know what to say anymore. Living in this country is fucking stressful for me as an older white lady of privilege. I cannot imagine adding in the other factors - being Black, native, LGBTQ+, any other marginalized person, having less money, having less resources, being without family, being chronically ill, being a gig economy worker, not having stable housing, being of true childbearing age while the right to my agency over my body is chopped, having kids in schools, working in a school, being a nurse, being disabled, etc etc. This is not sustainable. It's like watching society collapse in real time and not being able to do anything about it. I wish there was a quick cure for Fox News indoctrination that has functioned as a lobotomy for a large portion of our population. The call is coming from inside the house. 

There are people out there trying to meet very calmly in the middle about mass murder of children by guns. I am not calm and I am not interested in a midway point. Today, news that the cops and armed security guard did not act. Today, news of a total abortion ban in Oklahoma while a nation sits and says it can do nothing about its actual living children being slaughtered in schools by people with guns. Today, news that the husband of one of the teachers who died protecting her students in the Uvalde mass shooting dead from a heart attack. Their four children left with no parents. And today is not even over yet. What next. What else. 

How in the fuck can anyone out there say, "I don't know what the answer is?" Really, everyone? At this point we are going to dance around the fact that other countries have mental illness, bullying, poverty, despair, crime, and other countries have guns BUT they do not have these rampant incidents of mass murder by gun. Hmm, I wonder why that is...maybe because it is not fucking easy or cheap to get them, they don't operate by "well criminals don't have to get them legally,"  you need to work to keep them, white supremacy and toxic masculinity and a sentence written in a document in the 1700s by people WHO OWNED OTHER HUMANS that people today have taken absolutely wildly misinterpreted liberties with isn't fucking strangling everyone and everything. America has a goddamn gun problem and common sense gun reform that the majority of this country supports is the goddamn fucking answer. Stop dancing around it. We have TRIED more guns, more cops, active shooter drills, locking fucking doors. Sit and fucking spin on the suggestion of arming teachers, you won't even let them pick the goddamn books, accuse them of being groomers which is absolutely unmistakably top level grade A tinfoil hat Fox News drivel bullshit, and you think YOU know more about curriculum than they do. So no, we are not going to fucking arm teachers and put another item on their to do list that you will not appreciate nor pay them enough for. They are already literally putting their bodies in front of the shooters YOU will do nothing to stop. Do we want fucking schools to be prisons kids cannot thrive in so people can buy a gun in under five minutes and never have to re-up their license for it or store it correctly or insure it? Fuck off out of here with the fucking bullshit. Common sense gun reform and stricter firearm ownership and use protocols now. Universal background checks now. Universal healthcare now. Republicans stop cockblocking everything using minority rule now. Gun nuts STFU now. Revoke NRA tax exempt status now. Kill the gun lobby now. Overturn citizens united and get money out of politics now. Kids and teachers are fucking dead, AGAIN. The ones who lived through it will be traumatized forever. No one wants your tired 2A arguments being trotted out and dumped on the fucking table urging sensibility and waiting and not politicizing. Stop asking people to air grievances over this civilly while you brush your hair back with blood on your hands.You are banning every other goddamn fucking thing you can certainly make guns harder to get. SHUT UP

Regular existence is dwarfed by daily tragedies and fascism. I'm tired. From talking to a lot of you, I know you're tired. 

I would rather talk to you about my weed killer, which is white vinegar, Dawn, and table salt. 

Or how my job is really cool sometimes, and I get to see dinosaurs as part of work, and how my nephew and I just the night before were talking all about dinosaurs and what a joyful dancer my niece is and how amazing she looked dressed for her dance photos.

Or how these pull shorts for $13 and these forever soft v-neck tees from Gap Factory are going to be my summer wardrobe. 

I'd rather campaign for pockets in everything, without exception. And tell you how I'm only wearing athleisure shoes forever. 

Or talk to you about the stack of books on hold that came in at the library and how I don't even recall asking for one of them...who put me on to The Good Left Undone? It does not sound remotely familiar.

Or how we're pretty ready for the shore summer season and are testing out a new drainage system a la MFD for chair storage and a new bag Aub found. First renters this weekend.

Wait, Ray Liotta died? Another WTF today.

Or how much I enjoyed my city lunch walk when I was in the office this week. And I survived the dentist and got to see my chiro.

Or how we all need to really try to do this as much as we can even when it is hard. Via Nadia Fisher

Instead, we are talking about a mass murder event of children that was imminently more preventable while the GOP and all of its echoes tell us that nothing can be done. 

This is motherfucking America. You are telling me we can't do something here? Are you telling me the entire American persona is a lie? That's what it sounds like. 

Everything getting banned and zero reform on the thing that really, really needs it - guns. This is a  hard pill to swallow on the eve of Memorial Day Weekend. Have we not sent people to Afghanistan and around the world under the guise of protecting the American way of life? Are bodily autonomy, schools as safe havens, the freedom to learn, the freedom to be who you are without punishment, the freedom to exist while Black, and freedom of religion not the American way of life? Is the only God your personal Christian God who you think belongs in all schools, when literally the country as it is today was forced into existence by people who did not want anyone else's God forced on them by the state? Do you even know "under God" was not in the original pledge? I could keep going.

 Are we only down to one freedom? Doesn't sound like the Land of the Free to me, which means the brave have died for what, exactly? Soldiers have died thousands of times over and we say they have died for our freedoms. The freedoms are as follows: kids can be murdered in schools, Black people in grocery stores, elders in churches and Synagogues, people at concerts in clubs just anywhere while we do absolutely fucking nothing so the GOP Senators can continue to swim in the blood money donated by the NRA and the NRA can run this country, not citizens and definitely not God. Oh and the freedom to ban books, control women, inject Black people in a school to prison pipeline, and legislate trans and gay people out of existence. Sounds extremely free. Pass me a Budweiser. Did I do that right?

Something to think about this Memorial Day Weekend, before you bring out the land of the free because of the brave sentiments. 

What appears beyond the hyphen in Thursday Thoughts titles is what I'm listening to when I'm starting this - this week is The Killers Land of the Free. 

Any book worth banning is a book worth reading

via

That's what I think, anyway. Sunday starts Banned Books Week, also known as the annual celebration of the freedom to read.

According to bannedbooksweek.org: Banned Books Week was started in 1982 in response to a sudden surge in the number of challenges to books in schools, bookstores, and libraries. According to the American Library Association, more than 11,300 books have been challenged since 1982. A challenge is an attempt to remove or restrict materials based upon the objections of a person or group. Not just them expressing their opinion, but actively trying to remove material from curriculum and libraries, restricting the access of others and threatening freedom of speech and choice. A banning is the removal of those materials.

Like many of you, I cannot imagine a world in which I would possibly stoop to tell others what they should not read for moral purposes. However, there are many fearful assholes in the world, and those people would and do want to tell others what they can and can't read.

Thanks to organizations like Freedom to Read, we are fortunate enough to be able to lay hands on the majority of these banned books. I donate to them yearly, this year in memory of Gamma as she was one of the readers who shaped my life. The First Amendment guarantees all Americans the right to express our ideas without governmental interference, and to read and listen to the ideas of others. The Freedom to Read Foundation supports the right of libraries to include in their collections and make available any work which they may legally acquire.

The American Library Association is all up in Banned Books Week, of course. As they should be. Librarians are typically badass warriors for the right to read. Next week, from September 25 to October 1, the ALA will be running pieces by authors on its Intellectual Freedom Blog. Be sure to check those out.

As the ALA states, it's not only the librarians, though: it's the entire book community - librarians, booksellers, publishers, journalists, teachers, and readers - who support the freedom to seek and express ideas, even those some consider unorthodox or unpopular.

Personally, I like to read a banned piece every year during Banned Books Week, and next week it'll be Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman. I bet a book you loved has been banned or challenged - check out this list of classics, or the top 10 most challenged books of 2015 here.

First, just be aware that there are maniacs who think they should be able to tell you what to read. Go ahead and give them the finger.

Second, consider celebrating next week by reading some banned titles...because you can, thanks to advocates for freedom to read and those like us who insist on that freedom.

America is my favorite

And by Birthday Girl, I mean America. Not the flag. 

One of my favorite things about America is our flag. I love photographing it and seeing it wave when the Star Spangled Banner is played. I like to hear it snapping on windy days, resilient and alive.

One of the greatest things about this country is that you have the ability to burn the flag in protest of your government. While I consider it sacrilege to do that, you have to admit that living in a country where it is legal to do so is amazing. I also love that while you'll have your fringe flag burners here and there, you have eleventy billion people who would straight up punch someone in the face should they happen upon them desecrating the flag that represents, to them, the spirit of the American people.

God bless America, land that I love. Happy birthday, you grand old lady. Happy Fourth from me & my crew to you and yours. Be safe, don't drink and drive, and avoid setting off fireworks unsupervised.

See ya'll on Monday for TWTW.

In observance: Memorial Day

I always think Memorial Day has a somber undertone, as well it should. While we celebrate a three day weekend and have barbecues, frolic on the beach or at the lake, sit on curbs and watch parades go by, drink beers in backyards and do whatever else it is that we do, we are also conscious that the weekend is about observing all the lives that have been lost on battlefields in this country and across the globe to perpetuate liberty and the American way of life. Every day is the right day to thank someone who serves, but today is specifically in remembrance of those who have lost their lives doing so. Gratitude doesn't begin to cover the debt we owe to so many service men and women who've laid down their lives so that we may continue to enjoy our freedoms.

On Mondays I'm doing a picture linkup with Kelli at She Crab Soup. If you'd like to participate, here are the prompts through July. This is my photo for the prompt black and white.

Tomorrow: the weekend that was. Enjoy your day and your freedom so many sacrificed so much in order for you to have.

Linking up with Kelli for

I've got plenty to be thankful for...

365 days of the year, I give thanks to the universe for something in my life - big or small. I aim for three things, but some days I'm a miserable bitch and can only come up with one. I truly believe that I won't and shouldn't get anything else, material or immaterial, without acknowledging what I have.

In this month of Thanksgiving, I've loved reading daily status updates detailing what people are thankful for on Facebook. It is so important to be grateful every day for something. We often take for granted the very things that deserve our gratitude: our health, the roof over our head, the heat warming our home, the food in the fridge, the jobs we have to pay for these things. The Essie nail polish that lasts for a long time. You know.

I challenge you to not only say you're grateful, but to live like you are.

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. 

~John Fitzgerald Kennedy

When my brother Stephen was small, he never said "Thank you" or "thanks." He said "Oh, FANKS" with great emphasis and some snark. It was hilarious. But back to business.

The following list of things I'm grateful for is in no way complete and is totally off the cuff. What's on your list?

I'm grateful...

For my family - the one I was born into and the one I've chosen via friendship and marriage.

For my job, and fellow commuters who make the commute so interesting. 

For our comfortable, clean, lived in home. I was going to put a picture of our real house on here, but it had the address plate in it...why make it so easy for robbers? They should at least have to work to find me.

For Gus and Geege and the unadulterated joy they bring to my life every day.

For my health. Props to Produce Junction for affordable fruits and veg, and Weston Fitness for lunchtime gym classes. Minus 16 pounds and counting. Obviously I will simply strive to maintain in November and December. Back to it January 3.

That I have access to clean, running water.

That I like to cook and don't have to rely on processed packaged foods or eating out all the time unless I am lazy.

For Target.

For sneakers. 

For DVR, the greatest invention of our time.

For sunglasses. My eyes have always been sensitive, even more so after I got LASIK a few years ago. Sunglasses are saviors even on overcast days.

For music - I am a sucker for lyrics, specifically those of Bruce Springsteen, The Counting Crows, Pearl Jam, Bob Dylan. I love to belt out some tunes in my hideous voice. My favorite piece of music sans lyrics is the music at the end of Layla.

Having access and means to a bounty of food and drink, but specifically iced tea, steak, cupcakes, hotdogs, mushrooms, hoagies, bacon, strawberries, brussels sprouts, dips (fabulous corn dip tops the list), shrimp cocktail, homemade soup, brie, scrapple, kosher kill pickles, tomatoes, pasta, Brother's Pizza, pie, turkey.

This is Reginald. He was the star of the first Thanksgiving we hosted in November 2011.
Oh Reginald...you herbed butter slathered tasty devil.

For the Jersey Shore - and not the one depicted on MTV. Although that one is amusing, I don't want to spend any time with any of those people or ever go to Karma. This is more my speed -  Ocean City looking towards the Music Pier at sunrise.

That I have the ability and opportunity to travel with MFD. And that he will pose for photos like these to make me laugh. HOLY CRAP also...for my sleep mask. I can't sleep without it. Double bang on this photo.

For my freedom, and those who put themselves on the line so that I can keep it.


That I have the balls to say what I think and stand up for myself and others.

For books. And libraries to house them in.

To have the opportunity to feel like I'm doing SOMETHING in the fight against cancer instead of just losing people to the disease.  Here's to Relay For Life, and specifically to my people who come out and walk beside me every year - Team Random Acts of Kindness.

That I truly and deepy appreciate the lovely floating feeling of contentment and happiness. I know I can only really grasp how great that feeling is because there are times when I've been sad.

For amazing sunsets.

For texting. I detest talking on the phone.

And of course, I'm grateful for those of you who read this blog. I sincerely appreciate it. I hope you find it entertaining and want to share it with your friends. Dear Santa, for Christmas I would like more people to read my ramblings. I have been good sometimes, but I am also mean when it's merited.

I wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving week that includes:

-A good pre-Thanksgiving weekend for food shopping, house cleaning, dealing with leaves, and watching 208403984 Thanksgiving-themed shows on the Food Network.
-Wednesday: Early dismissal from toiling for the man on Thanksgiving Eve.
-Thursday: lots of quality family time with nary a ruiner in sight, having so many things you're grateful for that you get tongue tied when asked, and a table sagging under the weight of delicious Thanksgiving temptations.
-A sweet post-Thanksgiving weekend with a few walks to get rid of some of Thursday's excesses, lots of time to sleep in, read, relax, hang out with friends and family,  organize the shit out of something, play scrabble, eat leftovers, snuggle with your dogs/cats, dream, and do whatever else tickles your fancy.

In gratitude,

SMD
p.s. I am furious at stores that are open on Thanksgiving or open at midnight. How are those workers supposed to enjoy Thanksgiving with their families? What if you had kids and you had to work on Thanksgiving so someone could get a sweater for $5 for their mom for Christmas?