A Thanksgiving Timeline

There are 470,892 Thanksgiving recipes out there, so instead of sharing the recipes I used when we hosted Friendsgiving this weekend, I thought I'd share my timeline in painstaking detail because that's what really amps people up. Thanksgiving is a meal where the main course takes up your oven for a lot of the day and there are 702 side dishes you also need to put into the oven. And it has to be on the table simultaneously, so it all comes down to timing. If you want any of the recipes, please leave me a comment or shoot me an email at lifeaccordingtosteph@gmail.com and I'll get them to you. My menu for eight adults and one child:

Appetizers: 
Raw yellow peppers with onion dip
Devilled eggs a la Debbie
Cheese and crackers
Butternut squash soup a la Angie

Main: 
Turkey
Mashed potatoes
Stuffing - in the bird and out of the bird
Spinach casserole
Sweet potato casserole
Corn
Green beans
Rolls & butter
Cranberry sauce (jelly)
gravy - with pan drippings
gravy - with pan drippings and giblets

Dessert: 
Peanut Butter and chocolate buckeyes a la Jenny
Apple and pumpkin pie a la Amanda

Dinner was scheduled for Saturday at 6:00. Sorry if this bugs your eyes out, but here's my play by play:

Friday:
2-3 p.m.: Grocery shopping: me at two stores and MFD at two stores.
3:30 - 4: Chop herbs for brine, prepare brine for the turkey, put turkey in the brine breast-side down and into the fridge. Name your turkey. Our turkey's name is Bernard.

4:15: Slice foccacia bread into bite sized pieces for stuffing. Allow to sit out for the rest of the night on a jelly roll pan.
4:30 - 6:00: Chop celery and onions for the stuffing, sage/rosemary/thyme for the stuffing, peppers for the app, onions for the spinach casserole, herbs for herbed butter. Store in separate tupperware containers. Remove a stick of butter from the fridge. Snap ends off of beans, store in a ziploc bag.
6:05: Become consumed with fear that my 15.23 pound turkey will not be enough, and put a 7 pound bone-in turkey breast in the oven. Baste every half hour.
7:00: Thaw and squeeze water from two packs of frozen chopped spinach. Store in tupperware.
8:20: Remove turkey breast, let rest for 20 minutes then remove to platter.
8:30: Make giblet gravy with the pan drippings (MFD).
8:45: MFD carves turkey breast. I cut up lemons, limes, oranges for drinks.

9:00 Make herbed butter with the herbs designated for it and the butter that's been softening for a few hours.
10:00:  Turn the turkey over onto its back in the brine, put the cubed bread into a gallon-sized ziploc.

Saturday: 
8:00 a.m.: Turn turkey over so it's breast side down in brine again.
9:00: Prepare spinach casserole and bake.
9:15: Receive email mentioning butter, realize butter was left out of the casserole, haul ass into the kitchen and frantically add it.
9:30: Prepare sweet potato casserole.
9:40: Remove spinach casserole and allow to cool on counter, put sweet potato casserole into oven.
9:45: Saute onions and celery for out of the bird stuffing, assemble.
10:00: Remove turkey from brine, dry thoroughly with towels, put on a platter and refrigerate.
10:15: Remove sweet potato casserole from oven and allow to cool on counter, put stuffing into oven.
10:15: Realize I will need more bread for in the bird stuffing. Toast backup bag of pre-cubed bread in the oven for 20 minutes. Thank the universe audibly that you always overbuy and do not have to rush to the store. 
10:20: Realize I need more herbs, onions, and celery for in the bird stuffing. Chop then saute.
10:45: Remove stuffing from oven and allow to cool on counter.
11:00: Remove turkey from fridge and set on counter. Dry it again.
11:15: Put stuffing, spinach casserole, and sweet potato casserole in the fridge.

11:45: Prepare turkey with veggie oil, herbed butter, and stuffing.
12 noon: The bird goes in the oven. Baste at 45 minutes and every half hour after that, rotate pan hourly.
12:15 p.m.: Make onion dip and refrigerate.
12:20: Wipe down the kitchen, run the dishwasher, do the kitchen floor. Put towels used to dry out turkey and clean into the wash.
1:15: Consider painting nails but realize you need to wear oven mitts as gloves for the next five hours.
2:00: Set the table.
2:30: Set the drinks up, make extra pitcher of iced tea, put a stick of butter out in a glass dish, fill up salt & pepper shakers
3:15: Turkey smells done and according to the thermometer, it is done. Tent that bird with foil.
3:30: Peel and cut potatoes, store in pot of cold salted water on stove top. Open three cans of corn and put in a bowl, cover with saran and refrigerate.
3:45: Move bird to large platter. Make gravy with pan drippings.
4:00: MFD carves turkey (and eats it surreptitiously like a wild jackal), arranges it in a weird presentation, and covers tightly with foil.
4:10: Turn oven to 200 and put spinach casserole, stuffing, and sweet potato casserole in the oven, covered.
4:30: Raise heat to 350.
5:00: Boil water for potatoes. Start to get really hot after standing in front of oven for eleven hundred days.
5:15: Steam green beans for 6 minutes, put gravy in gravy boats, open cranberry sauce and refrigerate. I am now moving like a well-oiled machine. 
5:25: Put apps and cold drinks out, fill ice bucket, light candles.
5:30: Saute green beans in three batches.
5:30: Finish off mashed potatoes (MFD). I heat up giblet gravy from Friday night.
5:35: Pull sweet potatoes out of the oven, put turkey and mashed potatoes in (covered), reduce heat to 275.
5:45: Put rolls in basket and cover with a towel.
5:50: Remove everything from the oven, put marshmallows on top of the sweet potato casserole and broil. Put remaining food on the table. Keep a close eye on sweet potatoes. Microwave corn, green beans, and gravy. Go go Gadget arms.
5:58: Make sure everyone has drinks and all dishes have spoons. Ladle soup into bowls. Bark out orders. 
6:00: Grab cranberry sauce in a last chance power drive.
6:04: Sit down to eat. Boom. The meal is eaten in less time than it takes to peel the potatoes, which I only ever do on Thanksgiving. We eat them with skins the rest of the year. 

Haikuesday:

Gather round, my friends. 

(If you fit with all the food)

Can tables collapse?

My advice:
1. Buy what you can. For me that's rolls and cranberry sauce. If you make rolls, make them ahead and freeze them.
2. Do not concoct a pie in the sky menu that you're not going to be able to execute. Keep it simple. Let people fill the holes in your menu. Write down or know a schedule in your head.
3. Do whatever you can before hand - chopping veggies is a big one. Setting out dishes you'll be using is too.
4. Ensure your turkey has ample time to thaw if you buy frozen. And dry that bird like it's the only thing keeping the world from catching on fire.
5. Make dishes ahead and reheat.
6. Have another pair of hands or two for the last 40 minutes and make someone else carve the turkey. MFD took care of the potatoes and Debbie helped with dishes and putting food out.
7. Wash and clean as you go, and get rid of as many dishes as you can before anyone arrives.
8. Have an empty dishwasher ready to be filled. You do not want to face clean up with a loaded and full or loaded and clean dishwasher.
9. Purchase Dollar Store tupperware so people can take leftovers home and not steal your precious tupperware.
10. Have fun - it's not supposed to be so stressful that YOU don't enjoy the day.

We didn't need the turkey breast except for leftovers - I like to have enough to send people home with food. We all want Thanksgiving leftovers, don't we?

Are you hosting Thanksgiving? Going somewhere and making a dish? Give me the scoop.

Rustic Tuscan Sausage Soup

Try your hand at this simple, hearty soup. You won't be sorry. Plus I love the word rustic. So play along.

I found the recipe at Feast on the Cheap and modified it to my liking. If you double this, it will feed an army. It freezes well. It's always good to have some soup in the freezer. 

Ingredients

1 lbs. sweet Italian sausage patties

3 carrots, washed well and chopped (I don't peel them) 

1/2 sweet onion, chopped  

2 tbs minced garlic

1/4 cup water

2.5 quarts chicken broth

2 14.5 oz cans diced tomatoes with juice

1 can cannellini beans, drained and rinsed

1 tbs dried basil

8 oz whole wheat shell pasta, uncooked

8 oz spinach leaves (you can use frozen)

salt & pepper to taste

Directions

Brown sausage over med-high heat in the bottom of a large stockpot. Crumble the sausage as you brown it. 

Add the carrots, onion and garlic and saute until tender and starting to turn a bit golden, about 7 minutes. Add water if it starts to get a little dry or too brown.

Add the chicken broth, tomatoes, beans, pasta and basil. Bring to a boil over high heat, then reduce to a simmer. Cover the pot and continue cooking for 7 minutes.

Stir in the spinach and cook until just wilted. Taste and season with salt and pepper.

MFD tops his with parmesan cheese. He likes it. And now Haikuesday:

Rustic sausage soup

Whisks me off to Tuscany.

Airfare is too high.

Congrats to Nadine, winner of the Chloe + Isabel $25 shop credit!

p.s. Tuesday sucks.






Linking up with Blissfully Miller and Let's Get Bananas for

Vote. And eat eggs. Those are the messages for today.

It's voting day in many states today. You bet your sweet ass I am at the polls every election day - major, minor, mid-year, primary. If your state votes today, be at the polls. Many people have fought for your right to vote. Don't squander it. And if you don't vote, never ever complain about anything in this country. Ever again.

Now then. Eggs.

Most of my days start with them. I need protein in the morning or I am a major asshole by 11 a.m. My go to breakfast is eggs because they're easy to make, easy to transport, and they reheat well in the microwave at work. They're an integral part of my weekly food prep.

Sometimes I scramble them with cheese and veggies, sometimes I make egg salad, but most often I make egg muffins. I use a Pampered Chef brownie pan to do this, but a regular cupcake pan is fine. The magic of these muffin eggs is that you can put whatever you want in them. I've used ground turkey taco meat, tomatoes, cheese of all kinds, broccoli, mushrooms, ham - they hold it all. This week I used breakfast sausage and cheese.

Ingredients
Yields 12 muffins
11 eggs
1/2 tsp sea salt
1/4 tsp ground mustard
1/4 tsp garlic powder
1 tbs milk or cream
1 pound breakfast sausage, browned (you will only use half)
Cheese - I used gouda

Directions
Preheat oven to 350.

Cut cheese into pieces - I usually put three small pieces in each muffin slot. You can add more or less.

Brown sausage. Drain and allow to cool, then add to muffin slots by the tablespoon, about a tablespoon and a half in each. I eyeball it.

Beat eggs with spices and milk. Make it easy on yourself and do this in a large measuring cup that has a spout so it's easy to pour.

Pour eggs over your sausage and cheese add-ins.

Bake for 30 minutes.

Easy peasy protein yeezy. Pack those sumbitches up and you have breakfast made for the week.

I froze the other half of the cooked breakfast sausage. BOOM. Already one step ahead for next time.

Haikuesday:

Chicken or the egg?

"It's an important question,"

Said no one ever.

What's your go-to breakfast?

Linking up with Blissfully Miller and Let's Get Bananas for

Meatloaf beatloaf I...love meatloaf

Via

Similar to when he said, "Daddy's gonna kill Ralphie," Randy was wrong about meatloaf. Meatloaf may be my number one favorite comfort food. I love it out of the oven and I love it cold.

My basic meatloaf recipe is very simple, but some Sundays call for the big mama meatloaf and that was this Sunday. When I want to be a fatty, I use the Pioneer Woman's meatloaf recipe as a guide. This leaves a lot of leftovers, so if you are not feeding a crowd or interested in leftovers, you should halve this recipe.

Ingredients:

2 lb ground beef

6 slices white bread (I used whole grain white, you can use what you have)

1 cup milk (I used 1/4 cup fat free half & half and 3/4 cup 1%)

1/2 teaspoon seasoned salt

1/2 teaspoon regular salt

1/2 teaspoon onion powder

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

3/4 cup shredded cheese of your choice

1/4 heaping cup parmesan cheese

ground black pepper to your liking

1/2 cup minced flat leaf parsley

4 whole eggs, beaten

10 slices regular bacon (don't use thick cut)

1 cup ketchup

4 tablespoons brown sugar

1 teaspoon dry mustard

Sriracha (squirt or to your taste)

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. 

Put your bread slices in a large mixing bowl and pour the milk over them. Allow to soak for a few minutes. I use this time to deal with the parsley and gather the rest of my ingredients. I also get out my broiler pan, line the bottom with foil, and spray the top with nonstick spray. I set this next to my mixing bowl. Using the broiler pan allows the fat to drip through.

When you're ready, add parsley, ground beef, cheese, spices, and lastly eggs to the mixing bowl. In a separate bowl, combine ketchup, brown sugar, dry mustard, and sriracha and mix well. Set aside. 

Wash your hands, dirty friend. You're mixing this meat mix beeotch by hand until well combined. Place it on the broiler pan and form into a loaf. 

Top it with bacon slices, tucking them under on the sides and overlapping them just a little.  Pour a third of the sauce over the top and spread it with a spoon. 

Bake for 45 minutes, then pour another 1/3 of the sauce over the top and spread. Bake for another 15 minutes. 

We serve our meatloaf with mashed potatoes, corn and green beans.

And now for Haikuesday:

Meatloaf sings to me.

Paradise by the dashboard...

Lighten up, it's meat.

Do you love monograms as much as I do? My friend has started a new business and I am the lucky recipient of a glass to test. Do you want one? Go like My Fab Glass on facebook and tell them Steph sent you. They will pick a winner on Friday at midnight and you'll have your own awesome monogrammed glass. 

Other than that...suck it, Tuesday.

Linking up with Blissfully Miller and Let's Get Bananas for

Oops I did it again banana chocolate chip muffins

Saturday morning I was faced with four spotty bananas. I couldn't find my banana bread recipe, so I called on The Dalai Momma because she is The Baking Queen. I secured her new recipe and decided to make muffins instead of bread because I do what I want.

Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins:

1/2 cup butter- melted
1 cup sugar
4 smashed medium bananas
1 tsp vanilla
2 eggs at room temp
1.5 cups flour
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp cinnamon 
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1 tbs mayo
Mini chocolate chips (optional)
Brown sugar mixed with cinnamon for topping (optional)

Preheat oven to 350. Line muffin tins with liners - I got 23 muffins out of this recipe.

Melt the butter in the microwave. Add bananas and smoosh them with a fork. Add vanilla and two eggs. Mix well with a fork. Add dry ingredients, mix with fork until just mixed. Add mayo and mix well.

I added about 1/3 cup mini chocolate chips and stirred again. Fill muffin tins 3/4 full. Top with a dab of brown sugar cinnamon mixture.

Bake for 20 minutes or until an inserted toothpick comes up clean. Viola. You now have

And now for Haikuesday:

Britney Spears hates you.

"You" being Tuesday, of course.

She likes bananas. 

Come back and see me tomorrow for the second group of 18 of 36 Life Realizations.

 
Linking up with Blissfully Miller and Let's Get Bananas for

"A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thou." --Omar Khayyam

Once upon a time, I really wanted to be the person who made her own bread but I was afraid I'd F up the rising times, etc.

Then I got a bread maker and my friend Mimi passed along her family's go to bread recipe, and we all lived happily ever after.

Seriously, this is better than bread at many restaurants. Give it a go.

Put in bread machine in this order...

1 cup of water, no specific temperature.
3 cups of bread flour
1 heaping teaspoon of salt
2,5 teaspoons or 1 package of yeast
1 tablespoon of Crisco
olive oil

Set the machine on dough and help it along until everything is mixed and it forms a ball.  If it doesn't look like it will form a ball, drizzle more water in (I normally do).

Remove the dough from the bread machine at 1 hour 15 minutes.  Generously grease the bottom of a glass dish with olive oil. I do mine in a glass or ceramic 8x8 square dish.

Add olive oil to the top of the dough and push it down with your fingers to make the dough about an inch thick.  I add salt, pepper, rosemary and whatever else I feel like to the top.

Cover with plastic wrap and put it in the microwave to rise (do not turn the microwave on).  Once it rises so the top of the dough is at the top of the dish,  bake at 375 for 25 minutes or until the top is golden.

This is also Mimi's (and now my) pizza dough recipe too.

In closing, for Haikuesday (I'm going to make that a thing):

Bread from the oven

I hate sharing food. Hands off!

But pass the butter. 

Linking up for The Petite Blog Hop at Smile and Write and