Things I've been meaning to tell you 2.14.2024

Look who's back, back again...

1. Items of note from last weekend: It is amazing how much lighter and happier I feel after a few hours spent with a BFF. Thanks to Laura for driving down to visit for lunch...where I sat directly across a man I filed against in small claims court for fucking insane window shenanigans. A man who told me he was dying the last time I spoke to him. Surprise! He survived. LOL. And thanks to MFD for driving down to get the dogs and fill up my tires so I could run around doing some work shit Sunday. I finally went to a coffee shop I've been meaning to go to - Jessie's of Linwood - and got a smashing red velvet muffin. I saw Buddakan with her skirt on for the Lunar New Year. Your woman was invited to a lacrosse tailgate by literal children. Despite having a face that discourages interaction, I continue to be invited to interact. The tie dye flower my brother got me was still alive in the fridge in Philly weeks later. These buffalo chicken sliders from Bluff City Grub were super easy and delicious. Shittah finally made it onto the corner ladder shelf. 

2. Okay what the hell. Who has seen this? This is fucking insane.

3. Shore side tables I picked up at a thrift store in November are in progress. The middle shelf is for books, I swoon over these tables. I've found three over the past year. Both of these use All in One paint in Thistle as a base coat. The sherbert orange one is that mixed withModern Masters Metallic paint in burnt orange and the other is Modern Masters Metallic paint in teal.I leaned into mixing with the orange to soften the color up and not so much with the teal, because that metallic was the color I wanted. 

4. I do not like or celebrate Valentine's Day, but I love love in all of its forms. If you need to hear any of these from someone today and haven't: I love you. You being out here alive and kicking matters in this world. You complete you. You can buy yourself flowers. Along with picking up a divine dessert, giving someone who deserves it the middle finger is a cheap way to treat yo'self.

5. Related, from my soapbox: There is no reward in this life for putting every living thing before yourself or turning yourself inside out for someone else, whether that person is a love interest, child, friend, parent, sibling, whoever. Take care of you, then everyone else. Many women in particular need to read this to understand it, not read to gloss over the words. There is no award for putting yourself last. There is no award for depleting yourself to where you are a puddle on the couch. There is no award for setting yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. This applies to romantic love, children, family, friends, etc etc. Take care of you, then everyone else. 

6. Slowly but surely making changes in Philly. I have too many belongings for someone who is rarely there, so every time I go home, I pare down. I've gotten rid of a decent amount of stuff over the past few months but am literally just scratching the surface. We've got a new roomate in Philly - Jared, who is basically family to us, moved in last month, so I cleared out a bunch of shit in the bedroom he's in and while I was at it I went through the closet in my office where old luggage and Halloween costumes go to die. The shit pit room in the basement is allegedly being turned into usable space, cleared out by MFD. Step one of that was putting Shittah's bathroom behind closed doors. This room has always been the recipient of shit people unload from cars and forget about, or where we put things we need to figure out what to do with. For a minute it was a bedroom for my mother in law, then an office for me, and I want that office back but we're in negotiations over that right now.

7. A few weeks ago Laura called me the Menopause Captain and I humbly accept this title. We can speak about perimenopause and menopause openly and not sotto vocce like they're taboo topics. Periods too. Get comfortable being uncomfortable if you talk about these things in a whisper behind a hand because they impact the daily operating lives of over half of the global population and this shit is uncomfortable and maddening enough without having to put a cherry on the top of a shit sundae to ease others around you.

8. What I also struggle with every day and appreciate the words of Zoe Lister-Jones on: the idea that we cannot hold space for both peoples. We can. Actually, fuck can. We must. 

9. I don't want to hear about more mass shootings because I don't want there to be any more fucking mass shootings. Nothing more American than a mass shooting on the day of the Super Bowl parade, coinciding with the anniversary of two previous mass shootings that did not rock the country enough for any tangible action to be taken. It's a goddamn fucking disgrace. 

10. The beach recently. Lots of heavy skies, which I don't mind. Not a lot of sea glass, but I found four pieces yesterday. That's how it goes. Just me and Ben down here from Monday night to tomorrow night.

We leave for vacation Sunday. I am absolutely unprepared to do so, and am trying to get right with it. I'll probably do like I did when we were in Europe, and do an IG feed post a day and a reel. That was a good way for me to remember our trip myself. If you want to follow along, you can find me on Instagram here. MFD is here and hopefully he doesn't lose his phone like he did the second he stepped off the plane in Switzerland this summer.  

TWTW - the first in Aug

Friday The plan was to bike to get OPC, watch the surf, breathe. I got rained out. There have been a lot of rainy Fridays this summer. I did take a longer afternoon walk. For some reason I love when flip flops are abandoned, either in a pair or solo, as if their wearer just walked right out of them. I also hit the beach after work, and tried to catch the sunset - the large cloud was allll fire pink as I was walking down there but Bruce was dicking around and I missed it. I also missed it because suddenly sunset is 8:11 and not 8:30 or later. 

Saturday When you have to dig through six bags of other people's trash, some of which should have been put out Thursday night, to make room in outdoor cans and liberate a full recycle can...then you have to crawl under beds on your top floor to liberate goldfish, gummy candy, and assorted food wrappers...IN BEDROOMS...it's not a great start. I retreated to my apartment and painted my nails (OPI Verde Nice to Meet You, this color is amazing) and have comfort snacks. Laura rode by blaring her horn then came for a porch visit and we walked up to the boards where Chris picked her up and I took a walk down to the beach. So great to see her in person and sweat it out together. Man, summer. Dinner was tomato sandwiches, and I was couch bound to finish a book and start another but I fell asleep early and missed the friend Zoom. Old people probs

Sunday I was up at 6:30, then went back to sleep from 8-11 so I clearly needed it. It was a slow Sunday, starting on the porch reading. I puttered a little doing dishes and making salad. MFD and the old dogs arrived and we set out for Corson's Inlet late in the afternoon. We picked dinner up at Mike's on the way back. Well, that was the plan, but neither of us had a credit card, so we drove from 55th to 13th then back to 55th to pick up food. Oy. I walked up to the boardwalk to see Laura's fam, and when she went back to  her place I got salted caramel brownie from Ben & Jerry's. I walked down to the beach to see the Sturgeon Moon on the water. Hashtag moon child. I finished my second book of the weekend which is rare these days. 

Happy happy birthday to Evan yesterday!

I have a busy week ahead work-wise, and I'll actually be alone alone for most of it. MFD is taking all the dogs back to Philly with him tonight or tomorrow, and I'll follow Saturday. 

Thursday Thoughts - kiki, do you love me?

Sharing New Year's Day pics. Debbie and I had fun as always.

Wishing peace for the families and friends of the South Philly String Band members and their partners who died or were injured in a tragic New Year's Day accident. I can't imagine how they feel, as a person removed from it I was ill all day yesterday just thinking about it. I’m sad that our mutual friends are hurting, young lives were cut short, and families are left missing them forever. Your whole life can change in an instant. 

Speaking of your whole life can change in an instant...I'm hoping the murderer of seven year old Jazmine Barnes is caught, soon. If you are in Houston and surrounding areas, please share info and be on the lookout. Senseless acts of racist hatred must not go unmentioned. It's 2019. This has to stop. White people need to make it stop. Follow Shaun King for updates and action items. 

Sending Laura all the happy birthday wishes today. Love you forever!

Booking shore weeks for the summer. I have five weeks booked, six weeks + Memorial Day weekend available.

Buying nothing. Consume less, be more, and all that. I am in the market for one side table for the living room - I have attempted to put every other table in my house there and none are working - and a bathroom vanity for the shore and will be trolling thrift stores for those. A coat rack and ottoman for the living room arrive this weekend. Otherwise things will be considered as other things run out (I'll be evaluating what I use instead of just blindly repurchasing what might not be a necessity) or as needed and let me say aloud in public right now I don't need anything.

Spending nothing. Consume less, be more, and all that.

Focusing on getting my house in order over the next few months: purging to trash/sell/donate, organizing, lightening the physical load around the place, getting hygge with it. This was my plan last year too then a campaign came into the picture and all plans disappeared.

Hibernating...that's basically what the three points above add up to, right?

Thinking, when I do buy something, where I’m buying it from and who profits.

Fucking pumped for this House swearing in today. The most diverse House ever, and more to come in the future. Nancy, you need to deliver.

Enjoying my rearranged and brighter living room. The dogs are too.

Going to the Women's March in DC again this year. Last year I stuck to Philly. I'll be seeing Mimi who I haven't seen since the DC March in 2017 and Gena for the first time since my freaking wedding in 2010 and Gwen it's been like five years I think? Debbie and Melissa are coming too and it should be a productive Girls' Weekend with some of the people I love most on earth. Everything was planned and paid for and plane tickets booked early so our displeasure with anti-semitism from leaders will be on our signs and I've written to the March leaders. If you don't want to show up there, please continue showing up somewhere. Recognize that no movement or organization or candidate is going to be perfect. Don't let that stop you from showing up. Work to change things from the inside if you can. Do. Participate. Women need to step up, speak out, give each other space and grace but do what we can to work together because absolutely nothing is changing without us. We are the reasons the patriarchy still stands, we are the reason white supremacy still exists - we protect both systems, sometimes without even knowing it.

Listening to In My Feelings by Drake , well not actually listening as I’ve never heard the song all the way through. But I’m listening to it in my head and singing that one line out loud because I can’t get it out of my ear. My three year old niece sings it and it's a riot. I thought Debbie was going to tackle me to the ground numerous times over the weekend because I said kiki, do you love me out loud 76578866 times.

Reading:  Golden Child by Claire Adam courtesy of Netgalley. I'm hoping to walk over to the library today to pick up some books on hold. Show Us Your Books is Tuesday.

Reminding the world that what it feels like is more important than what it looks like.  

E-carding: I kid. I'm actually looking forward to being quiet this month, doing less, and recharging.

What's new with you?

Linking up with Kristen

TWTW - the one with the chill

Friday night was a slow mover, I packed up and sailed down the shore for a 9:30 arrival. Saturday I read, painted my nails (OPI Black Dress Not Optional), made some daily shower spray, took myself out for coffee, road my bike all over town, and took the dogs to the beach. Gus had a sidewalk shitting incident that I cleaned up with leaves and my hands basically and during the cleanup a man thought it would be a good time to come close with his dog and make conversation while Gus and Mae went nuts and the puppy cried. Laura and Chris arrived late afternoon and we had lunch at Jon & Patty's, walked the boards with Bruce Springsteen, sat on the beach, and had dinner at Luigi's. My pizza is aglow in the neon window lights but it was freaking good - all manner of Italian meats on a pizza with sharp provolone and broccoli rabe. 

Sunday morning we hit the Sunrise Cafe for breakfast before they were off. It was so good to have facetime with them even for a short time just bumming around unshowered. They wouldn't even let me pay for a meal. When they left I cleaned our apartment up a little and rode my bike to the library before packing it in for home. It soothes me to be in a relatively empty quiet shore town off-season even though the weather both days was different than the forecast. Hashtag should've been a weather person.  

I was home at 2 with the laundry and food prep and dishwasher going shortly after. Weekly food prep: breakfast is crockpot breakfast casserole from Steph only I made it in the oven and cut the potatoes; lunch is spinach salad with walnuts, cranberries, feta cheese, and red onion with an olive oil and balsamic sauce and a squirt of lemon (made nightly because I hate when shit sits); dinners are maple dijon chicken thighs over rice with steamed broccoli (planned on making Sunday but someone who shall remain nameless did not defrost the chicken thighs as requested) and baked chicken breasts served with butternut squash. Snacks are honey crisp apples and cherry and vanilla noosa yogurt. I'm also making healthy three ingredient flourless pumpkin brownies with this frosting that I saw Amy share on IG. 

Sunday night we went to the Peace Center Gala. A few months ago I was like hell yes but as Sunday early evening rolled around I was like whyyyyyyy. I'm sure some of you feel me on that. MFD was a sponsor though and the Peace Center is a freaking phenomenal organization that does such crucial work in the Bucks County community. It was a wonderful event. If you're not familiar with the Peace Center, I urge you to check them out. They put on workshops frequently. Unfortunately Bucks has recently had a spike in hateful acts like the N word on school signs and carved into cars and rampant anti-semitism. The Peace Center responds to these events and helps support and heal the community. They also do a lot of work in schools with bullying prevention.

How was yours?

TWTW - the one traversing New Jersey

Friday night taking care of hausfrau biz like purging and reorganizing kitchen drawers, making hard boiled eggs, changing and washing sheets, and putting laundry away. The dogs were all enough, sit down with us.

Saturday I spent way more time on the Garden State Parkway than is advisable. Firs I headed to North Jersey for MBD's first birthday party. He is so cute and pleasant. Laura and Chris for the combined win with the combo of the rainbow balloon arch (Laura) and the Prince welcome (Chris). It was great to spend an afternoon with my family of choice, and especially nice to see the littlest members MBD and Natalia because I don't get to see them in person often and they don't text or email.

I left around 6:40 and headed south on the Parkway to reach the shore by 9. I just wanted to peek upstairs at the new carpet but ended up putting most of the two bedrooms back together, which meant 49 trips up and down the stairs. The carpet is dark enough to hide hide stains and the 98374982734 pounds of sand it will swallow every year. I also realized I needed a new quilt and ordered it from the couch at 11:45 pm. I love technology.

MFD and the dogs arrived late, and I was up until after 1:30 thinking about all the shit that needed to be done Sunday, so no sunrise. We got right to work at 8 and kept going until 6. There were no large projects or picture-worthy shit but it was an ass breaking day all around. Basically we spent 10 hours going up and down three flights of steps 52974 times carrying shit up. We finished putting the third floor back together, touched up paint up there, took a magic eraser to the walls in all bedrooms and hallways, dealt with a sudden dresser top problem with contact paper, cleaned out under the beds on the second floor, patched a ceiling hole, cleaned off the steps, wiped down the railings, applied brackets to secure a side table, got rid of all the outdoor mats, weeded the insane shit growing in the driveway sand, cleaned out the bike alley behind the house/outdoor shower/driveway area, and hung bunting for Memorial Day. We also removed everything that will not stay in the house for the summer season, which is a lot when you've been using it personally. And shit I originally thought we needed but made it through a rental season without using went too. We ran over to Somers Point to buy a new air conditioner for MFD to install on the top floor and Jen & Tara stopped by to see us on their way out of town but otherwise, no breaks. MFD does not like no breaks but I only had to threaten him with death and divorce like five times. The Sunday before Memorial Day is always stressful but we killed it and not each other. Success.

We rewarded ourselves with dinner at Luigi's and a bike ride on the boards. Biking on the boards at night is coming to an end next weekend. This is MFD's I survived the Sunday before Memorial Day with my insane drill sergeant wife face.

I made the executive decision to paint the trim on the top two floors on Thursday night. Lord help me.

Weekly food prep: I only need breakfast for three days and lunch for two since I'm off on Wednesday, which is good timing since I had neither the time or inclination to do this this weekend. Breakfast is power breakfast muffins and hard boiled eggs; lunch is peanut butter, honey, and banana roll ups on multi-grain tortillas with a side of bell peppers; and dinners are spinach and artichoke pasta and avocado toast.

We stayed at the shore Sunday night so this morning means an early rise and ride for me. But it's a short week - I'm off Wednesday and I'm working from the shore Friday and we'll probably close early. 

Happy birthday to Sarah today! 

Memorial Day week already, man. 

Linking up with Biana at B Loved Boston for Weekending

Ode to the Olympics: Once upon a time I did professional gymnast things for a grade

A few weeks ago I got a call from Laura one night after 10 p.m. There was a lot of noise in the background. She said, "Do you remember doing full on gymnastics in junior high?"

I did. I do. But until that phone call, I hadn't thought about it in years and I certainly never thought that it might have been out of the ordinary. Laura's husband Chris and his boys, all North Jersey-ites, didn't believe her. Hence the rowdy noise in the background and the need for the validation call. It's good to have long-time friends who remember things that you can't or who you can call and ask if such and such really happened. As we talked, we realized maybe not everyone did this in junior high...

And as odd as it sounds in the context of the world we live in today, this full blown gymnastics period certainly happened in our junior high gym classes. When I say full blown, I mean uneven bars, vault, pommel horse, rings, parallel bars, beam, floor, etc. We were surely privileged to have all of that equipment in three junior highs in the school district. Everyone's name was on a chart and the more difficult things you picked and executed, the more points you got.

I do not walk gently in this world. I am a Tuesday's child not full of physical grace. But once upon a time, I did a cartwheel off of a balance beam and executed a dismount from the uneven bars. I did not win a medal but I didn't break my ass or die from fear either. I consider that a win. I'm sure I wasn't alone in that - out of every gym period there were probably one to three people with any skill and the rest of us were like newborn colts trying to find their legs and balance.

We all discussed it this past weekend at Kim's shower and were laughing and crowing about things we did. We were in junior high from September 1989 - June 1992. Everyone participated. Everyone competed. There were injuries. We laughed at each other. We survived. No one got sued.

Can you imagine this taking place today? If you are around my age (39), did you do this in your school?

Fellow Neshaminy grads, do you remember this? My brother, six years younger than me, didn't have this curriculum. Laura's brother, three years younger, did. I'm curious when it began and when it ended. Do we owe this to having Joel Baba, an alternate to the 1952 Olympics team, on staff?

TWTW - the one with my people

Friday was the Villanova NCAA Men's Basketball Championship parade down Market Street - I stepped right out of my office to watch...and stood next to a student peeing in a bottle. Good times. We also got headshots taken, and I got this mask at Sephora after talking to the makeup guy about redness. Home to send MFD off to the shore for the weekend and talk to Lori until midnight, sustained by Trevose Pizza and the baked goods she brought.

Saturday we celebrated Baby D with a lovely shower complete with Val's special touches. As you can imagine, I was extremely pleased that the favor was a coffee mug. When it was over we went back to Laura's mom's house and spent a rainy afternoon lolling around on the couches for many hours, eating Brother's Pizza, and laughing our asses off. I felt so good leaving there. I love my old guard girls. Kim and I came back to my house and sat on my couches with Lori for a few more hours.

Sunday Target run with Lori, then we stopped in to see my fabulous niece Lola Jean, who was rocking her I Love My Aunt shirt since two aunts were visiting. On the right is the newest outfit purchased for Lola.

Weekly food prep-I didn't wannnna this weekend so I kept it simple. Breakfast: egg muffins with sausage and gouda; turkey taco meat and salsa (I wanted fresh, they were out, rat bastards) for lettuce wrap lunches; sweet bell peppers, snap peas, and oranges for snacks; and salmon with greek yogurt and dill/rice/steamed green beans for one dinner. Avocado toast for another, and I will probably make a pork tenderloin later this week.

The dogs are exhausted from visitors and excitement. And honestly? So am I. I didn't get enough sleep or drink enough water this weekend.

Sunday afternoon Jana and I recorded for The Armchair Librarians.

I finished a book (Show Us Your Books is tomorrow!), finished the first season of Flaked, and started Rectify.

Peace.

Two weekends in a row of seeing my people. My cup runneth over. 

Tell me about yours! 

Linking up with Biana at B Loved Boston for Weekending &

TWTW - the one with New England

Way back before spring even started, I booked a flight to Boston to see my BFF Kim. I lost sight of the trip in the coming months, and then it was here before I knew it. I sort of love when that happens. I hopped a train from work to the airport and was in Boston in what seemed like minutes. Who buys a mug of their own town at the airport before they even leave the city? That would be me.

There's nothing like the comfort of old friends, is there? The ease of being around each other, the lively conversations punctuated by comfortable silences, the joy in doing absolutely nothing together. Laura and I have been friends for 26 years and Kim and I for 23, and it's been well over 10 years since any of us lived in even close to the same zip code. Not more than a day goes by without me talking to them via text and email but we don't see each other face to face often so when we can, I absolutely love it. Friday we just shot the shit at Kim & Steve's. Saturday morning we fueled up with DD and headed up to Ogunquit, Maine. What a cute town. After getting more coffee, we walked about a mile along the Marginal Way. 

The coast of Maine is rugged and beautiful. It seems to have it all - endless sky, ocean, beach, greenery, and rock. 

We came out of the Marginal Way into Perkins Cove and were leisurely ladies who lunch at Jackie Too's. The food and views were excellent as was the company, of course. I knocked a 40 before 40 off of my list - eat a lobster roll in Maine. Three cheers for best friends who support your weird list quests. It was excellent. I've had lobster rolls before but Maine's are famous for a reason. The Seadog blueberry wheat beer (brewed in Maine) and the blueberry pie made with local blueberries were the cherries on top...in addition to the salt scrub we all tried in the bathroom and had to have that Laura then had to repackage on my behalf so I could take it on the plane. She was doing hers and knowing me as she does knew I would not have the patience for such things. 

We strolled around Perkins Cove, in and out of shops and checking out the boats. 

We also dipped leisurely in and out of shops back in the center of town. I totally enjoyed the tempo of this town - laid back, a little funky and arty, and just beautiful. Quite picturesque. I could not believe the flowers everywhere and all of the color. 

After a thoroughly enjoyable day on the Maine coast, we headed back to Mass to check out Kim & Steve's new house before digging into some Italian at Pomodoro in Brookline. We tired our asses out and ended the night with relaxing and Step Brothers, which I have never seen and which I found to be hilarious. I need to see it uncut like immediately. 

All good things must come to an end. I was home by two on Sunday and spent the afternoon inside with the dogs, away from the hellacious humidity. MFD got me flowers from the Farmers' Market since that was his errand this weekend. We had hoagies for a late lunch and I did a bunch of unpacking and hausfrauing and setting the house to rights. 

Weekly food prep: scrambled eggs with green onion and cheese and power breakfast muffins for breakfast; salads and leftovers for lunches; baby carrots, bananas, and greek yogurt for snacks; tomato and red onion salad, baked chicken leg quarters (I was going to grill them but Sunday was melt your skin off hot), salads, and enchiladas for dinners. 

I truly loved this weekend. What about you?

Linking up with Biana at B Loved Boston for Weekending