40 before 40 Report

Over two years ago I posted my 40 before 40 list. It quickly became apparent to me that I wouldn't check everything off...some would not be feasible, and some I just didn't have the desire to do anymore. I also did some things I never imagined I'd even have the opportunity to do when I made this list - like travel to South Africa, or buy a shore house, or meet Bruce Springsteen - which were awesome before 40 bonuses. Some of my 40 wishes did come true though. I think I liked making this list more than anything - and I won't be making a 50 list because 50 things is a lot. 

1. See a play on Broadway done March 4
2. Walk over the Brooklyn Bridge done March 4
3. Skydive so I still sort of want to do this, but I'm not sure if that's because I think I want to or because I actually want to
4. Go tubing on a river done August 13
5. Volunteer at a soup kitchen - not technically, although we did volunteer on Thanksgiving day to serve and clean up food in 2015
6. Eat a lobster roll in Maine  done July 18, 2015
7. Stay in a Falls View room at Niagara Falls - done March 14-16, 2015
8. Write a novella done December 2015. This will not see the light of day.
9. Tip 100% of the bill at a restaurant - at the Tuckahoe Inn on September 24, 2016
10. Go whale watching - in Cape May, September 24, 2016
11. See Mt. Rushmore - done September 2015
12. Take a spontaneous weekend trip – deciding to go and leaving that same day done July 24, 2015
13.  Watch Old Faithful blow - done September 2015
14.  Stroll along the Seine went to Scotland instead
15.  Go to high tea. In Scotland. 
16.  Learn conversational French Abandoned when Paris was abandoned
17.  Adopt a family in need at Christmas Christmas 2015
18. Witness the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace Never made it to England
19. Go to a college football game I gave away tickets in a bigger stadium to go to the shore
20. Eat at a farm to table restaurant (stole this one from Jana, thanks friend!) Talula's Garden on June 19, 2015, and many more after that. 
21. Read two Agatha Christie novels – a Marple and a Poirot I hated the Marple (attempted in May 2015) but liked the Poirot (read in June 2015)
22. Participate in a walk to raise money for pancreatic cancer November 2015
23. Get the tattoo on my back touched up March 2017 (see pic on the bottom)
24. Stand on the Cliffs of Moher November 2, 2016
25. Buy a pair of Frye boots I've hated every pair I've tried on so far. I bought Pikolinos instead and I fucking love them. 
26. Go to the opera Opera on the Mall was cancelled due to weather and rescheduled to when I couldn't go
27.  See the Mississippi River - February 2016
28.  Beignets at Café du Monde - February 2016
29.  Conquer my fear of the grill Summer 2015 - I made myself grill once a week. 
30.  See the Chincoteague Ponies - newp. But I will see the ponies on Ocracoke this summer. 
31.  Have dinner at Vetri - September 3, 2015
32. Cheesesteak tour in Philly - I did the cheesesteak festival and I'm calling it done
33.  Visit the Morris Arboretum - this was my backup plan for my birthday since we couldn't be at the shore. We also couldn't de-ice my car in a timely manner, so, no.
34.  Go to the Mutter Museum 
35.  Attend an author event at the Philadelphia Free Library - Toni Morrison book signing April 29, 2015. I also saw Jodi Picoult there with Jana in October 2016. 
36.  Get something published on HuffPost I never even tried
37. Take a cooking or baking class Stopped looking
38.  Learn how to use a drill Shore house work spring 2016
39.  Pick strawberries and make a strawberry pie from them abandoned, not interested
40.  Bake French bread - I am literally never allowed to put this on a to do list ever again in my life. 

Local friends, if you're in search of a tattoo place, check out Outta Sight Studios in Fairless Hills.

On my 40th: My Top 10 Rules for Living

Today I turn 40. I am a rule maker and follower, a mantra lover, a quote sharer. Today I forced myself to whittle it down to share only my top 10 rules for living.

1. Never work on your birthday, even if it falls in the middle of the week. I don't care what's going on, take the day off and spend it doing exactly what you want. It doesn't have to be glamorous or exciting, just what you want to do. That can be nothing at all. But for me, doing exactly what I want to do always includes not working for someone.

2. Cultivate your mental toughness. Bad things will happen to you and around you. You can't fall apart at the drop of a hat.

3. Do not rely on others to make you happy or center you. Know how to get to those places yourself.

4. Work first, play later. You'll be more free in play because there's nothing left to get done. Along those lines, know the difference between "must do" and "bonus do."

5. Protect and nurture your circle. Not everyone is going to want, accept, or know how to receive your energy. We are not designed for everyone to like us. Don't get butt hurt over it and don't obsess about it. The people who don't get you don't matter. Make your emotional investment in the people who do get you. Those are your people. They are your family, regardless of blood relation.

6. Maintain an attitude of gratitude. Even when things are bad, there's always a silver lining. Find it even when you have to look hard.

7. Spend a little time outside every day. Get out of your own head.

8. Stand up for what you believe in even if people tell you to sit down or if it means you're standing alone. Live in accordance with your values, serve your conscience, make sure your integrity cannot be bought, and fuck what everyone else thinks.

9. Practice self-care, and not just when someone reminds you to. Putting everyone else before yourself is not noble or admirable. It's foolish. You're worth the time and effort. If you don't do it, you run out of gas and aren't any good to yourself or anyone else.

10. Go into situations with no expectations. If it's awesome, it'll be a bonus. If it sucks, you were prepared for that. Hope for the best, expect the worst. And whenever there's a worst, let that shit go.

My original 40th birthday plans included bumming around at the shore and being carefree and not wearing a huge down jacket. March storm Stelllllaaaaaa had other plans, so I'll roll with it. I can spend MFD's 40th birthday doing what I planned to do for mine. I can stretch this birthday celebration to September, right?

What else? Oh yes, beware the Ides of March, of course. Always.

TWTW - the one with the plays

Friday I got off the train to snow (stop it, March), unpacked grocery delivery with the speed of light, rushed off to a school play our niece was in, and had a late dinner at Metro Diner in Bensalem. The BLT was good but I do not recommend the place. The original location in Jacksonville, FL, was on Triple D but this location is a dive not in a good way.

Saturday we spent the day in New York City, specifically to do three things:
1) Visit the 9/11 Memorial. We will definitely return to do the Museum.

2) Walk the Brooklyn Bridge. No, YOU picked the coldest day in months to do this. We were actually hot at the top of the bridge, but walking back into the wind, man...when I washed my face Saturday night it looked like hell from the windburn. A really cool experience though and I loved all the graffiti and stickers along the way as well as the views of Lady Liberty.

We walked a little through Tribeca before hopping on the subway Uptown and grabbing a quick slice.

3) Book of Mormon matinee. We met Amanda, Frank, Christa, and Jeff for the show. Freaking hilarious. I loved it.

We had dinner after at  E&E Grill House directly across the street from the theater and it was excellent. Bundled off in a cab and caught the 7:03 home. Thanks to Christa for securing the tickets and finding the restaurant!

Sunday morning brainstorming meeting with a local active in the political scene and some progressive friends followed by a trip to Sam's with the rest of Northeast Philadelphia.

Weekly food prep: breakfast is PB and J on english muffins; lunch is greek bowls (whole wheat orzo, chicken marinated in greek dressing and baked, grape tomatoes, cucumbers, red onions, kalamata olives and tzatziki sauce); snacks are yogurt, mangoes, and strawberries; dinner is pork with sauerkraut and cooked carrots (shown here before baking) and salmon with steamed veg. 

Sunday afternoon I peaced the fuck out. I just needed to sit around and do nothing and talk to no one except my Dad to plan a shore project. Aside from laundry and getting my 40/40 done in the living room, that's what I did, nothing. MFD was out showing properties and it was blissfully silent. Friday night I finished Perfectly Undone and started The Loving Husband, so I spent a lot of the afternoon reading that. 

Woo! Last weekend with a closed up shore house. Solid birthday month start. 

How was yours?

Linking up with Biana at B Loved Boston for Weekending

TWTW - the one with the tubing

Can we get excited about groceries for a minute? I know it's a lot to ask, but Friday two grocery miracles happened. 1) Amazon Fresh missed their 4-7 a.m. delivery window and fully refunded me $109, gave me an additional $25 credit, and told me to keep and use any groceries that were not affected by heat if they did happen to arrive (they attempted to cancel the order). Guess what? The groceries arrived and most were fine on the front step. It's like they paid me for their fuckup. 2) I found cucumber mint water at Target after work and bought all five cases like the psycho I am because I haven't been able to find this shit for a year and it's the only sparkling water I like. If you see it, pick some up...unless you live near me then mine mine mine. Also shown: $5 flowers of the week - I love carnations even though they're the plebe of flowers - painted nails (OPI Cajun Shrimp), and sun dappled Gussie.

Saturday morning MFD dropped me at the Langhorne Coffee House while he showed properties. I had a scrapple, egg, and cheese on a long roll and read my book. I also stared at the building across (est 1738) thinking about all the people that have been in there over the past 278 years, people watched, and sweat my ass off as there was no seating inside.

We were finally on our way to go tubing around 11:45. The drive there was nice until we were basically off roading due to a River Road detour. When we got there, I wanted to leave. LOL. It was disorganized and so fucking hot, everything was a million dollars, everyone was moving slowly, and a poor man fell and MFD had to help him up. Finally on the old ass school bus there was a breeze and my mood improved. It was a long ass float down the river. I think it took us about 3.5 hours with a stop at the world famous Hot Dog Man in the middle of it. I could have shaved two hours off and been totally fine with that. MFD had to pull us every once in a while to get us moving and he also MacGuyver'd his shoe laces in the middle of the river, asking a passerby in a kayak for a knife. Who asks strangers for knives? LOL for days. I'm glad we made it happen as it's on my 40 before 40 and if it didn't happen this weekend, it wasn't happening before 40. Local friends, we went with Delaware River Tubing out of Point Pleasant. Buy your tickets online so you don't have to stand in the longest line ever there, and make sure they give you a wristband for the Hot Dog Man event or that will be the most expensive hotdog you've ever eaten. Video here.

After a quick change in the grossly hot changing rooms, we tore ass out of there and refueled with water at Wawa, then stopped at the Pineville Tavern for dinner on a whim. This was my second time and MFD's first. The jalapeno fried oysters were delicious as was my ribeye - don't be alarmed, I just like to poke holes in it and add some butter to the top before eating. Heart attack city, but it's a rare treat.

We ended up bringing a good bit of our meals home because our intended destination before that little side track jobby was O Wow Cow in Carousel Village. And man, oh wow. My eyes were bigger than my stomach and I only ate half of this glorious sundae. I had the honey lavender ice cream topped with caramel and mixed berries with homemade whipped cream. It was amazing. Cash only locals! Try it, all ingredients are locally sourced and organic. You can buy pints and quarts too. It's connected to Organnons Natural Market so I picked up some mozzarella and tomatoes and we smelled soaps trying to gross each other out with the worst smelling one. Hashtag grownups.

Tubing wears you the F out. I was in bed before 10 p.m. and slept a solid nine. Sunday I had an 80 minute massage with a foot scrub treatment and half hour cold stone facial at 9. It was glorious. I carbed up at Panera after as is my custom. Sunday at home was a pretty slow day. I culled my nail polish collection (these got tossed), did a face mask and some other personal care-ish grooming, lounged on clean sheets and read, and did some food prep. I was in bed before 8:30 to read. Glory be.

Weekly food prep:
Breakfast is egg muffins with mushrooms, tomatoes, and cheese; lunches are baked chicken breasts and veggies (not pictured, not needed until Tuesday); dinners are a combination of caprese, roasted veggies I needed to use up, pork tenderloin, and salmon. I also made two dozen power breakfast muffins to freeze for snacks. Other snacks are cucumbers and strawberries as well as Nature's Valley roasted nut crunch bars. I also made a golden turmeric paste for dogs and humans. More to come on that - Geege was prescribed rimadyl for his arthritis and we had to take him off after five days - he was a totally different dog, not himself. AEB pointed me to the golden turmeric paste so I'm going to give that a try.

Sliding on into Monday, then. But first tell me about your weekend!

Linking up with Biana at B Loved Boston for Weekending

TWTW - the spontaneous shore weekend

Last Friday morning I was sitting at my desk staring down the bottom of my iced coffee, already waiting on 5 p.m. even though I had no solid plans for the weekend aside from sweet sweet freedom. I checked my email and found one from a little shore motel in Stone Harbor. I had halfheartedly looked around for rooms earlier in the week, fully expecting everyone to be booked up, which they were. It is the Jersey shore in July, after all. But what was this gift? A cancellation at the Lark Motel. I frantically dialed MFD and even Mr. Last Minute MFD had a little I have work to do I can't just go freakout. Then he realized there was WiFi and he was all in. So I did something I never do - made a last minute decision to go away for the weekend. Cross another off the 40 before 40. Even though I'd thought about it earlier, I had no clothes laid out, nothing packed, no dog care set up, no food bought, no fresh pedicure, no laundry done, no food prepped for the week. I'd be starting from scratch when I got home at 6. Sometimes you just have to say fuck it, right? So we did. We threw everything in the car, hit Wawa and DD, and took the back roads with the windows down and sang our hearts out.

Before I go any further, I need to take a minute to appreciate being at a place in life where we can drop it all and go to the shore at the last minute. After many years of struggling along, there's not one minute of the day that I don't thank my stars that we are where we are right now. Both of us have busted our asses and sweated blood to get here and the hard work is not over, but it was and is worth it. We are fortunate. I am grateful. And on nights like Friday so grateful I almost cry.

I know, I know, just get to the photos, right? Both of us have been going to the shore every summer for our whole lives and neither of us have ever stayed in Stone Harbor as adults. The impetus to stay there this weekend was pure convenience - MFD's stringband had a concert there Saturday night. The Lark ended up being a three minute walk from where the concert would be. Kismet. It's a cute, sleepy little town where people look dressed up even though they're being casual.

Around Stone Harbor...

Saturday morning sunrise...

Ferko concert...

Saturday beach scenes - I spent over 10 hours on the beach Saturday. Glorious. A seagull took swooped in and took part of my sandwich after I nearly murdered people in hanger (which is why MFD is eating his under the umbrella below like Farnsworth Bentley) and people sat right on top of me, but it was still just a glorious day.

Weekend food was basically iced coffee, pizza, and ice cream. 

Sunday we did a little shopping and Farmers Marketing in Stone Harbor before driving over to Sea Isle so we could spend the day on the beach with the Sannellis.

Sunday beach day in Sea Isle, in which the Diva was the star attraction of course...

Sunday night we were supposed to leave around 8. MFD was fishing down at the inlet late, which left me to go to La Costa with Frank and Amanda. MFD joined us for a red bull, and we decided to go see a bit of LeCompt at the Springfield. I was in my bathing suit the whole time because MFD had the car and all of my stuff in it so I couldn't shower. Welp! It ended up being a good night anyway. Thankful for a sober driver who did the long haul home after midnight so I could enjoy a night out at the shore.

I finished a book and started another. I saw a sunrise Saturday but slept in until 8 on Sunday. I spent a lot of time just being. And that was great. Thanks to Mindy for watching our dogs last minute and to the universe for all things good.

I'm happy I got that in just in time for another weekend to begin. That should always be the way, shouldn't it?

40 before 40

Happy Friday friends! On Sunday I turn 38. If you’ve read this blog for more than a minute, you know I love to make lists and set goals. Some are monthly, some are seasonal, and some reside on what I call my life list.

I never regret one day of getting older because too many people are denied the privilege. But I do look around and reflect during my birthday month. What experiences do I want to have next? Where do I want to go? What skills can I pick up? Big or small, it gives me something to look forward to.

Some things that I’ve crossed off my life list so far:

Get Lasik if I qualify, shoot a gun, buy a play pack for a season, take graphic design courses, get married in a way that fits us, work on a political campaign, swim with dolphins, see the sun rise over the ocean at the shore in all four seasons, try foie gras, host Thanksgiving/Christmas/Easter, do the Polar Bear Plunge, visit Bushkill Falls, spend the day at Walden Pond, drive across the Golden Gate Bridge, ride a street car, drink a Guinness in Ireland, take two weeks off in a row and spend them at the beach, make homemade pasta, touch a redwood tree, stand in Lake Michigan, perfect the turkey, see the sun rise on the east coast and set on the west coast of the US in the same day, take the elevator to the top of City Hall in Philadelphia, buy a house, tour Pennsylvania covered bridges.

If I had a fat bank account and unlimited days off, this list would basically be travel-related only. But I have neither, so I had to supplement with real life things. I'm also sharing this early because some are large travel goals that require time, planning, and cash money. 

My list of 40 things I'd like to do by my 40^th birthday on March 15, 2017:

1. See a play on Broadway
2. Walk over the Brooklyn Bridge
3. Skydive
4. Go tubing on a river
5. Volunteer at a soup kitchen
6. Eat a lobster roll in Maine
7. Stay in a Falls View room at Niagara Falls
8. Write a novella
9. Tip 100% of the bill at a restaurant
10. Go whale watching
11. See Mt. Rushmore
12. Take a spontaneous weekend trip –deciding to go and leaving that same day
13.  Watch Old Faithful blow
14.  Stroll along the Seine 
15.  Go to high tea
16.  Learn conversational French
17.  Adopt a family in need at Christmas
18. Witness the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace
19. Go to a college football game
20. Eat at a farm to table restaurant (stole this one from Jana, thanks friend!)
21. Read two Agatha Christie novels – a Marple and a Poirot
22. Participate in a walk to raise money for pancreatic cancer
23. Get the tattoo on my back touched up
24. Stand on the Cliffs of Moher
25. Buy a pair of Frye boots
26. Go to the opera
27.  See the Mississippi River
28.  Beignets at Café du Monde
29.  Conquer my fear of the grill
30.  See the Chincoteague Ponies
31.  Have dinner at Vetri
32. Cheesesteak tour in Philly
33.  Visit the Morris Arboretum
34.  Go to the Mutter Museum
35.  Attend an author event at the Philadelphia Free Library
36.  Get something published on HuffPost
37. Take a cooking or baking class
38.  Learn how to use a drill
39.  Pick strawberries and make a strawberry pie from them
40.  Bake French bread

What about you? Do you have any must dos?

Birthday weekend coming up! Happy birthday to my first roomie Peter on Saturday. Our moms were in the same hospital room when we were born, and we ended up going to school together and becoming friends. I love that story.

Enjoy your weekend and go ahead, have some cake for my birthday Sunday because