Friday, October 20, 2017

Tribe of kick ass women




As I have said many times in this space, I believe your life is only as good as the people around you. My life is excellent even when it's shitty because I have the good fortune to be surrounded by amazing people. That includes, of course, my husband, some family members, and friends. But nothing in my life has carried the weight of my female friendships. They are sacred to me. I am the person who does not trust the women who have no true female friends.

I have found women for my tribe in every stage of my life, starting at birth and continuing through today. Most of them know each other. Most of them are now friends with each other even though they come from different Stephanie eras. There have been some throughout the years who I thought belonged but in the end did not. They are rooted out relatively quickly, falling into one of two categories: friends for a reason or friends for a season.

The ones who stay are lifers. They are so different from me and from each other but they all have some things in common: they are fierce ladies who would do anything for me and know without asking that I would do anything for them, they provide me with a safe place to be my smallest self without judgement, they hold me up, they're people I am comfortable with in silence or noise, in laughter or tears. I have never felt alone in my life because I have these women. I click with all of them. They are my people. I find this hard to write about because my bond with them is so strong that at this point it is more something I know intrinsically than something easily put into words. It's a part of my bones. I'm too close to it and have never operated without it. These women are a part of who I am.
 And today one I've had in my tribe since birth celebrates her birthday. It is hard for me to put into words what a tremendous impact Lori has had on my life. Officially my aunt, she is also my friend, fairy godmother, and someone I am so comfortable in the presence of that it's like sitting with myself except we are quite different people. I couldn't begin to say how many times she has helped me in the time we have been together on this earth or how much her unconditional love has meant.

Happy birthday Lori, and to the other two triplets Dawn and David!

Wherever and whoever you are, I hope you have a strong crew around you that you value and that values you.

Peace, love, and Friday.

15 comments:

  1. Beautiful. Lori has been my rock for years. We are the luckiest ducks.
    Wishing all a beautiful fall weekend.
    Love. Your. Momma.

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  2. amen to this. i love my gals. we've been through many milestones together and will go through many more in the future. happy bday to one of your tribeswoman.

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  3. Yes ma'am, yes ma'am. Women are tribal and finding your tribe of people, from anywhere, is such a huge help as we walk through life. Whether I've known them for decades or just a year, the women I choose to surround myself with reflect the best in the world. They are kind, supportive, fiercely loyal, able to see their own flaws as they help me work through mine, they understand when life is not about them and when someone needs some extra care. I used to look back on failed relationships and think, ugh what a WASTE of time, but not so much anymore. I learned what I don't value, I learned what I don't need and I learned WHY my current tribe is my best tribe ever. Happy birthday to your tribeswoman. CHEERS to female friends.

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  4. Yes! I love my tribe and I continue to build it, welcoming opportunities to connect wherever they occur. It provides solace when this world seems so cold. Happy Friday, Steph! Enjoy your weekend.

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  5. I don't trust women who have no female friends either, it's never been a good sign. I love my girlfriends, I'd be lost without them. And they're from different eras as well - like my bffs, Megan is from high school and Tara is from Iowa, but now they're also bffs with each other. I love that <3

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  6. I don't trust women who don't have female friends either, or profess to have friendships that they don't actually have. It's not "right"...and I've found that those individuals are usually the ones who are all about themselves, not able to grow, and are unable to see how their actions affect others. My tribe is from many walks in my life as well and my 3 closest friends are friends in real life too and it's awesome! So thankful for those who have been in my life and stayed, and thankful for the ones that got kicked to the curb, or removed themselves when I didn't have the strength to do it myself. Amen to strong women!!

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  7. Yesss. Happy birthday to your special soul sister, Lori!!
    I agree. When females say they don't have female friends or don't get along with other girls I just shake my head and feel sad for them. Where would I be without my ladies??

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  8. Such a wonderful post. Happy Birthday to Lori! I only hope my sweet goddaughter can say half those wonderful things about me one day. Ah my tribe, they are there for good, bad and ugly. So glad you have a wonderful one too. And if you aren't a great friend, goodbye! Another lesson I wanted too long to learn.

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  9. Happy Birthday to Lori!!! Having amazing women in our lives is so important!!!

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  10. LOVE this post! I feel the same way about women who don't have any true female friends. Yes, it's definitely easier to just hang with the guys a lot, but you can truly connect with other women and it's so important. The women who are catty and thrive on drama, I just steer clear from. We need to be there for each other, and build each other up <3

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  11. Special to have someone so amazing support you through life. Happy Birthday to Lori!!

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  12. Whenever you talk about your aunt, it makes me want her to adopt me.

    My tribe is small but mighty. I am so glad you are part of it.

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  13. Love the picture of Lori and the pugs. :) I definitely agree - we need our tribe. I'm looking forward to spending some girl time with my best girlfriend next month. I was able to build it into a business trip, and I'm so excited that I did.

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  14. I really don't have a female tribe anymore and I think it's because I've always been a little out of sync with others my age. I got married first. Then they got married. Then I got divorced, and they all had kids, which really is hard to work through. I have female coworkers I'm close to, but we don't hang out much after work, just text a lot. I do have friends, sure...but a ride-or-die type tribe? I think we all suck at tribe-ing. ;)

    Happy birthday to your aunt!!

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  15. So very true. One of the reasons I'm thankful for the internet -- I was uprooted from my tribe (twice) during my marriage and didn't realize how much I had missed them. Facebook, e-mails, texts ... all very necessary for me to survive this season since my tribe is so scattered.

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