Monday, January 23, 2017

TWTW - the one hard on the feet

After work Friday we made the trek south, fueling up at Melissa & Blane's before Friday night's ride to MD with my Women's March crew. I wanted to make sure I went with Mimi since we went to the March for Women's Lives in 2004 together so me, Melissa, Debbie, and MFD drove down to Grasonville, MD, to spend the night before the march. We got there around 10 and I was reading until 12:30. Not smart! 
Saturday began at 6:30. It was empowering, exhilarating, exceptional, and absolutely none of the negative things backlash against the marches would have you believe. Full post on this tomorrow. I made it through the day with no coffee but used this Coke message for fuel. I was proud to march with this awesome crew and the hundreds of thousands of others on the streets of DC. Mimi was our awesome organizer and we got right on the Metro both coming and going in a duel stroke of preparedness on the way there (we bought metro cards in advance) and pure luck on the way home (not long after we were on the platform they closed the gate to the stop). My mom baked us cookies to take and those along with a hot dog that I wolfed down at 4 pm were the only things I ate. Melissa and I stood in line for nearly two hours for the bathroom though because there was only one where we were standing and we couldn't make it through the crowd to the others. But it was great people watching, we met a lot of awesome people in line, and honestly we were just standing at the rally at that point anyway. I loved seeing women of all ages there and I think MFD is finally a full on feminist. We still have some things to work on, like how women can choose to pose for whatever photos they want and have the world not use it against them and the whole mansplaining thing pops up every once in a while, but I legitimately saw him cry in the street over a sign depicting a woman dying from an illegal abortion, so I think we're mostly there. Plus he wore this intersectional feminism sign on his back all day. All kidding aside, I am grateful to have been surrounded by fierce females at all stages and ages in my life to teach me how to be and remind me that my backbone is the strongest bone in my body; as well as supportive, empowering men who have never asked me to be less than what I am, from my husband to my Dad and brothers and relatives and friends. Not everyone has that. 
While tomorrow I'll be talking about what it was like at the March, I first wanted to address the backlash against the Marches I've been seeing on social media from people demanding explanations as to why people went and we're already equal and blah blah blah out of the way now. In case you don't want to read this whole thing, the main gist is I don't care why you did what you did on Saturday, why do you care why I did what I did?

I find it very curious that so many people who did not attend a women's march Saturday want explanations from the people who did attend, as if they are owed an explanation. ps - they're not. Why did you go? What was it for? I have a lot of friends I differ from politically, and if they have commented to me at all on my attendance it was with respect. That is why they are still my friends, because I am not friends with people who are assholes. Regardless, I've seen it elsewhere and the questions were not asked out of curiosity or respect, but rather with derision and an almost predatory anticipation of a complete dressing down when the answers come. Me? I answer to myself and a higher power and no one else, fuck you very much, and that is well known, which is probably why people don't play this game with me. But if they did, my reply would be to tell them my reasons and then ask what they did on Saturday and why, and full out judge the shit out of them for it like it was my right to do so. I might even be unsatisfied with their initial answer and ask why a zillion more times, needling and interrogating further. That sounds crazy, right, drilling people on how they chose to spend their Saturday that way? Like back off Steph I went to the party because I wanted some someone else to make food and eat as much as I wanted and not clean up after myself. What is my punishment? That's how crazy it sounds when you interrogate people about why they went to a Women's March. That's how arbitrary and arrogant it is to think you have the right to judge someone for attending a Women’s March.  Let me tell you, no one is EVER as interested and invested in what someone does on an average Saturday.  But this Saturday? Lots of questions and insinuations and declarations and lines drawn. You know what? When we don't like what others choose to do with their time, we're probably best served by adopting a "good for you, not for me" attitude and going on with our own lives. First, if you were at a March, you don’t need tell anyone why you went. We have work to do and our time is not best spent explaining ourselves to people we don’t owe an answer to about how we spend our spare time. Lions don't lose sleep over the opinions of sheep. Second, no one cares why people did NOT go, so why does anyone care why people did? Weird. Stop. Third, in regards to anything in this life: if something is important to you, I hope you don't give one small damn about what other people think. If it matters to you, it matters. Fourth, sweet sweet adult freedom is cutting those who consistently attempt to infuse your energy with poison out of your life and not giving a fuck about how they feel about being cut out. No one gets a free pass to be an insulting assface to you regardless of who they are or how long you've known them, even if it's since birth. Fifth, are you seriously listening to and arguing with facebook and twitter warriors who probably don't actually take action on many things in real life? Maybe instead try telling them to take several seats. It will be less angst-ridden and time consuming and more satisfying to you, I promise. Sixth, because I like to say it, good day. I SAID GOOD DAY.

Now then, where were we? 

We got home around 9:30 Saturday night and I was beat...a day at a March feels much different at quarter to 40 than it does at just a month past 26, which was hold old I was for the March for Women's Lives in 2004. Sunday I slept in, went over to read some books with the best niece ever Lola Jean, ran errands to Target/Produce Junction/grocery store (and that is why I get my groceries delivered, too freaking time consuming and a PITA), and did the typical Sunday hausfrauing (changed sheets, did five loads of laundry, blah blah) and weekly food prep. Bottom pics are some of my $6 flowers this week + MFD picked up my chair at Pier 1 + our Christmas gift Echo arrived. Hollerrrr. I have yet to set it up.

Weekly food prep: breakfast burritos from the freezer for breakfast; korean beef over rice for lunches, bell peppers and oranges for snacks; a jumble of smoked sausage and veggies for dinners; as well as cheesey chicken and wild rice casserole for us to eat this week, to freeze, and two pans for friends who just had a baby. 



Full on Women's March stuff tomorrow, and honestly I have no idea what I'll blog about for the rest of the week, so I'll be just as surprised as you are. Toodleoo mofos. 




Linking up with Biana at B Loved Boston for Weekending


26 comments:

  1. What an amazing thing that you and your friends and MFD were part of!! Such an exciting weekend!! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

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  2. Looking forward to hearing more about the march. So glad you were able to go. We had one here too but I wasn't able to make it. I totally get what you're saying about people commenting on others' attendance at these events - why do they even care? I saw a lot of the backlash on social media this weekend and it really just makes no sense. The images out of the States were so, so powerful and I would imagine it was quite the emotional experience being there.
    PS That chair looks like an awesome reading chair!!!

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  3. I'm glad you got the experience you wanted out of the march. Asking someone "why" never occurred to me to be honest.
    So I tried out that chair (in Seersucker) on Saturday and I wanted it to be bigger and fluffier so it was a no-go for us.
    Onto a different furniture store next weekend...

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  4. Proud of you to infinity and beyond ❣️ Love the end of this blog, too, about making winner winner chicken dinner for two friends who had babies❣️ Amen to those judging those who went to the march and why they need to go on with why they do what they do. That's the beauty of America ❣️ Thanks to you and your people for marching for all of us and for generations to come.
    Love. Your. Momma. 💖☮🦄😇🍀☀️🦄🦄🦄☮☮☮

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  5. I'm so glad that you went to the march and had such an inspiring day (and the inspiration to hold your pee for 2 hours in line...a feat I'm sure I would not have been able to accomplish haha). And thank you for standing up for our rights, and addressing why you shouldn't have to address why you went to the march. Obviously you and hundreds of thousands of others (and those of us who couldn't go) felt the need and that's all that should matter.
    PS love the new chair!

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  6. I was so excited to read your recap here today. Now I'm equally excited about tomorrow :) I come from a very conservative family and they're well aware we differ on opinions, but no one said a thing to me about the march or inauguration. Of course they had their FB statuses and what not, but your fifth point is so, so true. And I just let them have their keyboard-moment on the soapbox.

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  7. So many including myself for a time cannot agree to disagree without anger. I work now to stand by my truth while letting others stand by their truth. My motion is forward & myopic in knowing my actions & words count. To the phone!

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  8. Looking forward to your commentary on the march! I also loved seeing all of your posts on social media. I was proud of all the women and men I know who marched for various reasons. They went and made their voices heard in a peaceful way. I know people who marched across the US and as far away as Macau. Democracy in action! Makes my heart very happy <3

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  9. I wasn't mad the first time someone asked me why I went to the march or what it was for, probably because it was my favorite aunt and it was asked from genuine curiosity. It gave me the chance to reflect on why I left my house and went and didn't just follow it on the internet, and that was appreciated. I hate that other people asked you rudely and I LOVED the comment that no one else had to answer for their Saturday... so true. Looking forward to your full recap tomorrow.

    Also I saw a welcome mat that said "good day" at Home Goods and totally thought of you...

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  10. I'm sure feeling it at 40 instead of in your 20's is a total difference. :)
    I'll admit- the march wasn't my thing or something I completely understand but I have appreciated & enjoyed seeing the pictures & stories from it. I just always have enjoyed people's stories. We all have different lives & different views. I think its why I love documentaries so much - real life is always so much more interesting.

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  11. I had such an amazing, uplifting day at the march and then came home to see all the horrible tweets, posts, and memes (and some messages in my inbox) and had a lot of anxiety yesterday. I have a blog post about it coming soon too, if I can ever stop deleting and rewriting, deleting and rewriting.

    I love that MFD went with you. Jacob wanted to go, but we couldn't find a babysitter and as much as I appreciate other families getting their children involved, mine are not quite there yet physically. It was a loooooong day.

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  12. It sounds like an incredibly, amazing experience and I can't wait to hear more about it. Honestly, I stayed off most social media on Saturday because I wasn't in the mood to deal with the asshats and visited safe places to see the march unfold. I am so proud of everyone who marched and marched in spirit. And I don't understand why people are confused or insulted by those who marched. But we need to keep that momentum and push forward! Oh, and I'm so glad you got the chair from Pier 1. It's gorgeous!

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  13. What an amazing day. What a beautiful energy. What a fierce group we were a part of! Forever humbled and proud. I already shared my agreement with your thoughts on the negativity trolls on FB, and it's just so silly. I posted a link in my post today that I thought was another great response. As always, look forward to hearing you talk more about this tomorrow.

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  14. Definitely a full weekend for y'all and I don't blame you for wanting to sleep in on Sunday!

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  15. Can't wait to read your post tomorrow and that thing you shared on FB and also posted here is just so, so good. Everyone needs to read it and quite frankly I'm still pretty shocked at all the women I saw bashing the march online. They didn't get me down or diminish the amazing feeling/high I had from Saturday but my God, how disappointing.

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  16. Thanks for marching! I did not march, but I was so moved by the sheer turnout in all the cities and across the globe. History was made, no doubt!

    I will be trying the chicken and rice casserole. it looks delicious!

    Chels @ Red Velvet Rooster

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  17. My dad texted me Sunday morning to inquire about the point of marching and made a comment about it sounding like bitterness, and it was really all I could do to not all capital letters text him HOW CAN YOU FEEL THIS WAY WHEN YOU HAVE TWO DAUGHTERS, DUMBASS?! I calmly laid out all of my personal reasons, which did feel really good. I am with you, though, no explanation needed; worry about yourself, people.

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  18. I'm thoroughly impressed you made it through the day without coffee, I need to learn how to do that! What an amazing experience, can't wait to hear more tomorrow <3

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  19. I'm sure it was an amazingly empowering day on Saturday! Can't wait to hear more.

    www.justmurrayed.com

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  20. MFD crying!! And becoming a feminist!! Love it. Can't wait to read more tomorrow. You know I'm already a fan of your "I don't care what you did Saturday..." discussion. You know what is pissing me off? All the people who are trying to make this to be about the anti-abortion women were excluded. NO. You can participate, but you can't hijack it and make it about abortion. You just want to complain. OH. and all the conservatives screaming about how Madonna is a terrorist and to lock her up.

    Yes. Because we're back to that again. Dammit.

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  21. While I was late to the game on even knowing this March was happening in cities all around the country, I find it so empowering for the millions that turned out and the individual efforts you all put into marching for what you believe it! Go you for making your stand without caffeine and all! lol

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  22. I'm glad you had a great time at the march and met some amazing women. I was sick over the weekend so I couldn't go out to my local march, but I commend everyone that did. I loved hearing about people's stories and seeing all the photos. And I think FB just makes me equal parts angry and proud, so I really need to back off a bit. haha

    -Lauren

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  23. Sounds like you had an exciting weekend! And to do it all without coffee? Impressive! Mmmm Korean beef! I haven't made that in awhile.

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Tell me what you think, leave a comment! I'll reply to you via email if you have an email associated with yourself, otherwise, check back here for my reply. Thank you and good day. I SAID GOOD DAY.

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