Tuesday, April 28, 2015

The other side of fear


All of the problems we have or the seemingly insurmountable hurdles we face have one thing in common: fear. Sure, there are other factors at work, but the river that runs through them all is fear. 

There's fear of failure, of course, and fear of change. Failure and change are facts of life, so we all just need to get right with them. We'll all fail. We'll all make the wrong choice and have to deal with the consequences. We'll all go through changes. We will survive our failures and we will adapt to change.

The other big fear is one you can actually control - the almighty fear of what other people will think. This drives so much behavior and it's just crazy. I just want to tell you - you have to stop giving a shit what other people think about you, your decisions, your likes and dislikes. 

You can't be a selfish asshole trampling all over people, but you also can't exist to make others happy. You can't stay in or put up with situations or play roles that don't serve you and your purpose here. But I have to, you say. No, you don't. But we choose to stay where we're stuck and blame other factors or people because it's easier. Because we're afraid to be fierce with ourselves: to examine our lives and see the good and bad and the role we play in both. Because we're afraid to own our life and everything it entails. Because we're afraid of what lies on the other side of fear.

But if we can just get past that fear, we can live the life we really want. What lies on the other side of fear is freedom. Sweet, sweet freedom. Freedom to do what you want and pursue your purpose. Freedom to sit back, settle into and be truly comfortable in your own skin.

The key to your happiness is not in someone else's pocket. It's in your own. When you're on the other side of fear, you know that. You're not afraid to use that key to open all the doors. 
via
We only get this one life, and as long as it's not harmful to others we should live the breadth and width of it, being ourselves and not giving a shit what anyone thinks about it.

Fear is an obstacle that stands in the way of progress. Move it out of the way and go forward with your eyes on the prize - the life you want to lead. Stronger and wiser within yourself. Be who you are. No fucks given.
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34 comments:

  1. Awesome post girl!! I think fear holds so much of us back from achieving really incredible things...fear of failure is a big one for me! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

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  2. Such good thoughts to start my day with! Fear really is behind all of our negative emotions. It's hard to recognize sometimes because it manifests itself in so many different tricky ways. Thanks for this today!

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  3. Fear knocked on the door. Faith answered. No one was there!--- fortune cookie fortune. I believe we have more than one life BUT, you need to live your best life to perfect your soul. For the past several years, I have been mostly content. It is lovely. I do have a fear of the unknown, like a job, if I would have to return to the work force. I ask the universe for help all the time for myself and my people. I have been extremely lucky and loved. God and Goddess speed to all! Love, Your Momma

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  4. This ties in so perfect with my post today (about a new job). It's like we had the same thoughts! And yes, once you get to the other side, it's like the sweet breeze of freedom.

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  5. Love it girl! Fear holds us back from so many things. Better to just throw our hands up and push forward being as authentic as we can with ourselves.

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  6. I admit I fear the unknown and fear change terribly, but I'm working on it. As I get older I let go more and more of what others think...I'm not there yet but it's gotten better...and it is SO freeing. Loved this post.

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  7. Very well said indeed. If you're unhappy, change or do something to fix it.

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  8. "The key to your happiness is not in someone else's pocket. It's in your own."
    Yes! This entire post! Thank you for sharing. I needed this reminder today!

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  9. Wild applause. Fear can be paralyzing.

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  10. love this post so much. I think I am finally at a spot in my life where I'm living and doing what I want, though there are definitely some people I still care what they think as much as that's stupid (like my mum and nana hating that i live here, still hurts me because i want to be in both places!). i want to share this with my friend who stays with her douche husband because 'she has to' even though she legit hates him. what's the point? ONE LIFE. what's the point?!

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  11. HELL YES. fear of failure or rejection isn't what drives me; the fear of regret does. i do not want to look back on this life and regret anything because that is the worst feeling. i don't want my senior years to be filled with "what if?...."; i want it to be able to look back at all the memories - good or bad - and know that i learned something, that my life was filled with all kinds of experiences because isn't that the point of life?

    love this post so much!!!!

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  12. Feeling obligated to do things for other people is one I'm guilty of. I've gotten better, but my first reaction is still to do everything in my power to cater to a request, and it's only after reflection that I realize, "Oh wait, I can say no to this." Love the FEAR acronyms!

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  13. Well said!! Fear totally gets in my way, I'm totally scared of failure. I so love this post

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  14. THIS. POST.

    Well written and totally spoke to me today!

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  15. Great post and some really well made points. Fear does hold many people back, and when we face fear, we win. If people focused on who they are more than what people think about them, they'd probably be much more tolerable.

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  16. I always try to remember the feeling that comes after you take the leap and everything is OK. It's so worth it. I LOVE this post!

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  17. Life can be super awesome when you can get past the sometimes paralyzing fear. Look at me, I got a beach life out of it!

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  18. If you are too scared to try then you will always be stuck in the same routine and pattern. Pushing past that fear.....the only way to hopefully reach that other side! Great post!!!

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  19. I like this post! It's hard not to give a fuck (in the right situations) but I'm going to try to be more conscious of this.

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  20. Slow clapping! Great perspective on this. And it's really true. Fear is a guiding factor, even in a small way, for a lot a decisions we do or don't make. Having a healthy awareness of it is a great first start!

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  21. I so needed this! I am such a people pleaser, and it needs to stop. I need to stop being so concerned about what others think about me, and just start living for me while not worrying what others think :)

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  22. really beautiful post. this is so true. fear can be so unbearable and hard to move past. I wish I wasn't so so fearful.

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  23. I wish I could just insert a bunch of handclap emojis here. Excellent post!

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  24. Freakin' loved this post. That is all :)

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  25. Yes!!!!! I know I for one let the fear of failure hold me back. But you are right, if it happens I just need to deal with it and move on. Learn from it. And YES!!!!!! To hell with what other people think. I will not live to please other people anymore. I just wont. Life is too short and precious. There are too many other decent people out there that are rooting for you to do well so screw those nay sayers.

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  26. PREACH! I definitely let fear hold me back a LOT. I'm a creature of habit. Things changing scares me. That being said, some of the best things that have ever happened to me were the result of a change I was scared of to begin with. It's a nonsense cycle.

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  27. For. Real. I think I let fear hold me back a lot when I was younger. I wish I knew why I cared so much what other people thought when I was in my late teens and twenties. What a waste of time that I'll never get back. Oh well. I'm so much more comfortable with myself now and while I try to be kind to everyone, I refuse to be a people pleaser!

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  28. Amen sisterfriend. Amen. I couldn't agree more with people who say they have to stay in those situations - NOPE NOPE NOPE. Get out. Life is far too short.

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  29. You had me at 'No fucks given.' Actually, you had me from the beginning of this. Beautifully written, and as always, your words always hold true. <3 <3

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  30. I am saving this post as a reminder for myself. I am going through a rough bit at the moment and I need to remember this!

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