Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Self Improvement and How to Maintain It


So this post from my friends in England about improving habits and maintaining those improvements comes at a very good time as I am in the post-vacation WTF am I doing mode. I need to get back to sleep, better eating, more activity, less slovenly vacation-type behavior. 

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We all know that feeling, the one that comes shortly after every Big Mac or within minutes of waking up to a hangover from hell. It’s the feeling that we really must start taking our health a little more seriously.

Self-Improvement comes in many forms and while many of us are excellent at identifying where and how we can drive our own improvements, we aren’t so good at making commitments and keeping them over the long term. The result is that we become embroiled in the same fad diets year after year and time and again we enter into them arms opened wide, ready to embrace our new selves only for our enthusiasm to wither and die while our waistlines stay the same.

Baby Steps

Most experts agree that the best way to achieve a big, difficult goal is to break it up into smaller, easier to tackle parts and take them on piecemeal. Every time we do something ‘good’ or ‘right’ the neural pathways in our brain that mediate reward light up. Activating these parts of the brain triggers the release of several neurotransmitters most notably dopamine. Dopamine is our body’s feel-good neurotransmitter and is released during activities such as strenuous exercise, sex, and, famously, eating chocolate. When we play computer games, for example, many of these involve collecting items, earning experience, and gradually leveling up. During any one play session, we might do these things multiple times, but we will only finish our main objective, the game, once. A similar approach is needed when we’re thinking about ways to improve ourselves.

Setting a few smaller goals that we can accomplish every day gets our brain used to working its reward pathways and we experience what is called positive reinforcement.

Focusing Your Power

Don’t try and take on any big or dramatic changes straight away as doing so is more likely to end in failure. Instead, begin with something very simple, like making sure you are awake and ready to start your day by a particular time, or perhaps start by making yourself a healthier breakfast than you are used to. Once you’ve settled into your new routine and feel more confident in your ability to instigate long term change, you can look at some big picture goals.

Online degrees are a fantastic way of boosting both your self-confidence and your employability. If you are passionate about helping other people, there are online masters in health administration degrees, for example. Completing an EMHA degree online also leaves you with room in your schedule to try other new things and learn new skills.

Defeat Is a State Of Mind

No matter how many times you might try and fail before finally accomplishing your goal you always have the option to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get right back on that horse! Don’t accept defeat and it will not come. Instead, you should view any setbacks as learning experiences and opportunities to improve.


It can at first seem an incredibly daunting and insurmountable task to change your life in any kind of meaningful way, but the truth is that anything is possible as long as you’re willing to put in the hours and keep on the lookout for new ways to challenge and improve yourself.

It can at first seem an incredibly daunting and insurmountable task to change your life in any kind of meaningful way, but the truth is that anything is possible as long as you’re willing to put in the hours and keep on the lookout for new ways to challenge and improve yourself.

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Are you looking to make any improvements? In what areas? 










Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Unintentional habits


MFD basically loses his shit every time I get out of his car because he swears that I slam the door. I automatically say I don't, but maybe I do. I don't know. If I do, it's not done intentionally. I think he thinks I'm making some sort of statement, but really what I am is in the unintentional habit of slamming doors.

Which of course led me to think about what other unintentional habits I have. Habit has a huge impact on our daily lives, and of course we work on cutting down some that we know to be bad and cultivating some that we believe to be good, but what about the unintentional ones we pick up along the way? Since they're unintentional, I had to think on what others have noticed that I do.

I gravitate to signs in public, designed or scrawled, faded or new. I could waste a ton of travel hours looking at them and taking photos of them.

I say thing too much, in reference to everything. The thing. That thing. You know, things. Things That...

I rub my nose really hard in a circle when I'm tired. Both of my brothers do this too.

I rub my feet together when I'm sitting or just as I'm about to fall asleep.

When making a shopping list, I group things by where I think they would be in a store even if I'm ordering them online or haven't been to that particular store.

I speak conversationally to my dogs in public. I know I do this at home and it's intentional. I had no idea I did this in public until someone along my dog walking route at the shore thought I was talking to them.

What has someone pointed out to you that you've come to realize is an unintentional habit?




Monday, July 17, 2017

TWTW - the one with the godmothering

Friday morning found me running on less than five hours of sleep. After a quick unpack/repack and painting my janky ass vacation nails, I was on the road to the airport by 11:30. The 25 minute trip took an hour including a very near accident. I followed this joy with a pat down and luggage search. I was tired and hangry, which is my danger zone. Then a snarky lady wanted to huff and puff at me because my book was on a seat I did not know she was occupying. No problem, I moved my book immediately. Her and her boyfriend (who did not tell me she was sitting there) then made we'll talk about a lot of things later statements and gestured to me. I guess they were hoping I wasn't looking or wouldn't respond if I was? Wrong on both counts. I will hand you your ass in public, loudly, and not care. Toodleoo, majafackahs. All was well once I arrived in Boston though and met my darling Libby, hung out with Kim and her mom, and had a fabulous steak kebab meal courtesy of Steve. I slept like the dead and regret nothing.
Saturday was a slow and easy day. We were ladies who lunched at Zuzu's Cafe in Wakefield followed by a short walk around Lake Quannapowitt. The company was wonderful, as was the food, and Zuzu's was definitely owned by someone in my tribe. 
The rest of the day was filled with playing on the floor and finishing The Hate U Give (read it, I did, in less than 24 hours). I also placed my Amazon Fresh grocery order and tried to get my poop in a pile for the week ahead. Libby is sassy and smart. She makes me laugh and I love her. She growls and it is hilarious. 
Sunday I ate myself silly at a lovely pre-Baptism brunch at Kim & Steve's before heading off to the church to assume the official godmother role. The Priest had a great personality and a penchant for being short and sweet, always appreciated in the heat. 
It was time to say goodbye too soon, and my ass was deposited at the airport by 2:45. And this is one of the reasons I dislike Starbucks. It's not that hard, Starbucks. It's not hard at all. I was also sad that Boston, the home of DD, did not have one near my gate. 
Reunion number two with los perros by 7:15, food ordered and delivered by 8:15, and groceries arrived by 8:30. Weekly food prep: breakfasts are scrambled eggs with green onions and cheese with a tiny broccoli topper; three days of lunches are turkey kielbasa with cheese inside over colorful cauliflower and/or broccoli; snacks are strawberries, peaches, and cucumbers; dinners will be some type of chicken thighs meal. That was supposed to be lunch but they arrived frozen and I don't have time to pussyfoot around with frozen poultry at 8:30 on a Sunday night.


First day back in the office in two weeks. This should be fun. And awaaaay we go.



Linking up with Biana at B Loved Boston for Weekending

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Thursday Thoughts - from the beach

1. In which multiple swims in the ocean or a dip in the pool count as a shower. 


2.  I spent most nights lingering late on the beach like I love to do. Put up a yurt and I'd live on one. I am one with the sand. 



3. Last night we sat on the deck under a bowl of stars with the Milky Way visible above the sea. Pure magic.

4.  Someday when I'm over it I might be able to talk about all of the sign travesties I've seen over the past week and a half. 


5. The unfolding story of the four missing men from Bucks County is like watching Criminal Minds in real life. I feel terrible for the families. So slow, can't link from phone: http://www.philly.com/philly/news/missing-men-bucks-bodies-found-20170713.html?mobi=true 

6. Let's check in with Betsy DeVos. She's consulting with men's rights groups that see campus rape as a faux crisis manufactured to demonize men and boys. Righty-oh. Our children are safe with her. In other news, good thing the whole TrumpRussia thing panned out to nothing, right? The denials versus the evidence are insane. 

7. A local mom shared her son's medical bills on twitter and received death threats. Politics are never the problem. Not having a soul is always the problem. The divide cannot be closed with those people and I don't want to close it with them. There is no middle ground for me to find with people like that. I'd rather burn it down. That's bridge I don't need to cross.  

8. We had a great time in Ocracoke and a great time here this week with the family but we're heading home at some point today. My ass needs to be on a flight to Boston tomorrow afternoon and nine days is my comfortable away from home limit. Too long rambling through beach towns and I don't even recognize myself: chipped nail polish, unaware of the date, face in need of a mask, slowed way down. 

9. Reminder: We all have the opportunity to be this in every moment.

10. E-card of the week. Thanks again to our dogsitter Courtney and our shore property manager Michelle! I saw video with my dogs' tails wagging and Michelle is one of the only people I trust to look at something as ruthlessly as me. Our tribe rocks.




Tuesday, July 11, 2017

SUYB - July 2017


Hello from Emerald Isle, NC, which is where I'm reading this week.

The purpose of this link up is for sure to share what you've been reading - but it's also to be a part of a larger reading community. So make sure you drop me and my co-host Jana a line on our posts and visit and strike up conversation with as many other booknerds as you can. We had a lot of new faces last linkup and it's nice to be conversational, right? 

Linkup Guidelines:
This link up happens the second Tuesday of every month. The next is  Tuesday, August 8, 2017 
Please: 
1. Visit and comment with both of your hosts, Jana & me
2. Display the button and/or link back to us on your blog post
2. Visit other blogs who've linked up and get some book talk going!

Here's what I've read from the last linkup.

Engrossing Reads
The Breakdown by B.A. Paris - Can I just say that I'm sick of people forgetting shit and thinking they're crazy in books? It felt good to get that off my chest. Regardless, once I got over that annoyance, I liked this and zoomed through it in a few hours. I enjoyed it more than Behind Closed Doors. I think this gets published July 18th. ARC e-copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review

A Million Junes by Emily Henry - This is not my typical subject matter - there was magic and ghosts and adventure. It had a YA feel, I'm not sure if it's a YA book. I loved the title and fought against liking it a little but in the end I stayed up until 12:30 on a Sunday night to finish it and to put it simply, I loved it. It was different and totally unexpected. Book of the Month Club hardcover, own

The Other Girl by Erica Spindler - Quick read, I wish it was fleshed out a little more but I enjoyed it. It sort of read like the first book in a series. Free ARC e-copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review

Her Last Breath (Kate Burkholder #5)The Dead Will Tell (Kate Burkholder #6), After the Storm (Kate Burkholder #7)Long Lost (Kate Burkholder 4.5), and A Hidden Secret (Kate Burkholder 6.5) by Linda Castillo - As you know, I love this character and series. The .5s are the short stories in between the big books. I liked them fine but was also like hey just flesh this out at the same time. Greedy, I know.

Islands by Anne Rivers Siddons - It just seems right to read both Anne Rivers and/or Pat Conroy while in the Carolinas, even though I am in North and they dabble in South. I picked this paperback up at a used paperback bookstore and was delighted to find that I hadn't read it. paperback, own

Passed the Time Just Fine

The Odds of Loving Grover Cleveland by Rebekah Crane - I loved this. It could have been a lot more, but it was short and dark and sweet for YA. e-book

The Manservant by Michael Harwood - This book has a little Downton Abbey flavor plus a dash of 50 Shades plus some Ab Fab TV show. I would say it's not worth it, because it wasn't really ABOUT anything, but the main character made me laugh as did his love interest Frank. library paperback

Since You've Been Gone by Morgan Matson - I initially thought this was going to be a DNF because the teenage mopey main character in the first hundred some pages was on my last nerve. It's a Young Adult book, so that is always a possibility. I honestly kept reading it because I was on the beach and didn't bring a back up. It turned into something I didn't mind at all. Library hardback

Resistance by Anita Shreve - I picked this up because I realized I hadn't read it. I opened it and thought fuck, it's a WWII book. But as WWII books go, it was not as graphic as some. Unfortunately it was not as good as most of her other novels either, but it was a super quick read. Library paperback

The Summer that Made Us by Robyn Carr - There was too much going on in this book and too much writing towards a happy ending, which should have made me not like it, but I found myself into it regardless. Free ARC e-book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review

Not Worth It

Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis by J.D. Vance - Yes, I read nonfiction. This book is a good example of why I go into books with no expectations. I expected it to be more of a commentary on the culture in crisis. He is a self-centered jerk with a weird distaste for poor people and people who hold new deal community centered ideals based on where and who he comes from and it shows.

Secrets of Southern Girls by Haley Harrigan - I loved the title of this. The rest of it, not so much. It was a mess and it didn't need to be. There was at least one but more like two or 2.5 extraneous storylines. Free copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review

Brutal Youth by Anthony Breznican - Were you ever reading a book and no matter how much you read it, it seemed like there was still over half left? That was this book. I gave it three stars, but I still think it's not worth it for the everyday reader to plow through. Kids being brutal to each other with little glimpses of humanity in between. The End. paperback, own

Are You Sleeping by Kathleen Barber - Not a bad read even though there was definitely some suspension of belief required and extreme naivete on the part of the narrator. Free ARC e-copy from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review 

The Stolen Twin by Michele Pariza Wacek - This book was a fucking mess. The End. Amazon e-book


Did Not Finish

The Third Deadly Sin by Lawrence Sanders - I've liked other stuff by him, I adore the Archie McNally books, but this was irritatingly slow. free Amazon kindle book

The Other Daughter by Lauren Willig - I picked this up based on the cover. Sometimes that works out and sometimes it does not. This did not. It was definitely the lingering Victorian era shit in the book that pushed me off. Not in the mood. OCNJ library hardback

What are you reading?






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